IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Friday, April 11

April 11, 2014April 11, 2014 by John Walters | 1 Comment

STARTING FIVE

There’s no foreign substance replay, as far as I am aware, but no, that ain’t dirt.

1. “You Say Pineda, I Say Pedroia”

The Yankees and Red Sox meet for the first of 19 times this season, with pinstripe pitcher Michael Pineda stifling the World Series champs in a 4-1 victory.

Let’s see: “P-i-n-e….” That can either lead to “Pineda” or “pine tar.”

2. Goo Goo Goo Joob

Walrus and Smallrus

Craig Stadler, “The Walrus”, is ten over, in 95th place, after one round. His son, Kevin Stadler, “The Smallrus”, is two under, tied for fifth. The difference? Daddy already owns a green jacket.

3. LOL, Lolo

Will Lolo solo at ESPYs? (I hereby publicly request to be her escort)

Winter (and summer) Olympian Lolo Jones makes a crack on Twitter about Drake hosting the ESPYs (“It’s going to be tough for him to hand out all those awards to Rihanna’s ex-boyfriends”). The female hip-pop princess’ legion of fans responded with a collective –and profane — “No, you di’unt!”

4. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductions

Nirvana, and its surviving DNA.

Inductee Yusuf Aslam, a.k.a. Cat Stevens, admits, “I never thought I’d be sharing a stage with KISS.”

Or even a record collection.

Michael Stipe inducts Nirvana , Chris Martin inducts Peter Gabriel whilst reading from “The Book of Genesis”, Bruce Springsteen inducts the E Street Band, and Tom Morello inducts KISS. Tom’s getting a lot of good gigs these days. He must be likeable.

5. Big Chimpin’

Chimps escape from the Kansas City Zoo. Keep an eye out for the one the other chimps refer to as “Caesar.”

(The judges would have also accepted, “Don’t get body-slammed by a lowland gorilla.”)

Reserves

This AT&T parody of “True Detective” and its own ads is brilliant (“That’s not even a thang”). Give that man or woman who thought of this a raise.

***

Nora Tobin, personal trainer.

Now this is just smart magazinery. Shape puts out a list of the “50 Hottest Female Trainers” (oh, and okay, “50 Hottest Male Trainers” [go wild, A.J.] in America. I’m waiting on their “50 Hottest Female Trainers in Iceland.”)

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner 1937: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P

Chief Bender

1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio, SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P 1987: Willie McCovey, 1B, Roger Maris, RF 1988: Willie Stargell, 1B, Catfish Hunter, P 1989: Earl Averill, CF, Billy Williams, LF 1990: Johnny Bench, C, Carl Yastrzemski, LF 1991: Jim Palmer, P, Joe Morgan, 2B 1992: Rod Carew, 2B; Gaylord Perry, P 1993: Reggie Jackson, RF, Tom Seaver, P

1994

Phil Niekro, P; 1964-1987, Braves, 3 others

The ultimate knuckle ball maestro, Niekro lasted 24 seasons, winning 318 games (16th all time) and striking out 3,342 (11th). He retired at age 48 (only Julio Franco, who would come decades later, played at an older age). Niekro threw one no-hitter and is also the last pitcher to win and lose 20 games in the same season (21-20 in 1979). Ralph Kiner once compared Niekro’s knuckler to “watching Mario Andretti park a car”, which is a better line than most sportswriters have ever dreamed of. True to his quirky pitch, Niekro was born on April Fool’s Day.

Rollie Fingers, P; 1968-1985, A’s, Padres

While he technically has a losing record (114-118), Fingers was one of baseball first superb closers, saving a league-leading 35 games in 1977 and 37 games in 1978. In 1981 with the Brewers he won both the Cy Young and the AL MVP after saving 28 games with a ridiculous 1.04 ERA and –even though the stat had yet to be invented — 0.872 WHIP. A seven-time All Star and three-time World Series champ, Fingers merits induction for his handlebar mustache alone.

Remote Patrol

Mad Men

Sunday, 10 p.m.

So you’ve got GoT at 9 p.m. followed by , Don Draper Dick Whitman, last seen sharing a priceless moment with his children as they stood outside his childhood whorehouse as Judy Collins’ “Both Sides Now” played in the background. Seriously, though, that was one of the best television moments of ever.

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IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Thursday, April 10

April 10, 2014April 10, 2014 by John Walters | 2 Comments

STARTING FIVE

Well done, Stat Boy.

1. Reali TV

So, Good Morning, America taps Tony Reali, the purloined letter of ESPN programming, to sorta replace Josh “Misdemeanor” Elliott. Good move. The Fordham alum hosts Around the Horn with aplomb and does a fine job as PTI‘s red pencil.

Meanwhile, Max Kellerman has carved out a smaller fiefdom, on radio primarily, in Los Angeles.

At some point during his first month on GMA, Reali should share this story. Lara Spencer will just gape.

Like Jim Nantz, Reali grew up in Marlboro, N.J., just a town or two over from where this scribe grew up.

2. Teed Off

This month’s Golf Digest cover model. But you’re right, Augusta won’t miss Tiger.

The Masters begins without Tiger Woods for the first time in 20 years. Both Jim Nantz of CBS and ESPN assure us that there’s still plenty of drama that awaits. Okay, sure. But they also have a vested interest in us watching. It’s spring time in New York City after a winter longer than even Ned Stark could imagine, so I’ll be outside, anyway.

3. Oscar, Oscar, Oscar

The Pistorius trial ratchets up the drama as prosecutor Gerrie Nel becomes your ex-girlfriend (“You just refuse to take responsibility for anything!”) and also accuses him of being terribly self-centered (an Olympic athlete?!? Mon dieu!). I have a hunch that the Blade Runner will break down and confess to knowingly shooting Reeva Steenkamp, but…that’s just a shot in the dark.

Also, take note of how Oscar will never utter the word “kill” no matter how many times Nel baits him to do so. Not that saying the word “kill” would be a confession to murder, but Oscar’s defense counsel, Barry Roux, understands that if you get Oscar uttering that word it’ll be on every news cast from now until people stop caring about this trial. He won’t let that happen.

4. NC-PAY-A

AD noted that he had the financial hardship of helping raise a child he fathered out of wedlock as a freshman. I’m a troll for mentioning this, of course. These things just “happen.”

ESPN puts a story on its rundown about how former NFL MVP Adrian Peterson, the most deserving Heisman Trophy winner who didn’t win a Heisman Trophy in the past quarter century, believes that college athletes should be paid.

Well, of course he does.

Peterson cites himself and Johnny Manziel as examples of guys who earned a lot of money for their schools –he is correct –and LeBron James as someone who would have made a school tens of millions. Again, correct.

Peterson fails to mention –and the ESPN scribe who wrote the story, Ben Goessling, never does, either — that that trio would represent 0.02% of college football and basketball players in any one season. By this reasoning, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg are the reasons that you should drop out of college.

That idea, by the way, is a spoof premise in the series premiere of “Silicon Valley.” The idea that college is a dead end.

Peterson’s belief comes from a very personal perspective, and in his case he’s correct. Also, he’s correct that high school grads should be eligible for the NBA and NFL drafts. Let the owners decide individually whether or not to take the risk. But to use those three men as examples of why college jocks should be paid ignores the 99-plus% who are actually getting the better deal than had they not accepted the scholarship.

5. The Colbert Rapport

“Nation… the next host of ‘Late Show’ will be Stephen Colbert.”

I’m a Catholic white guy slightly younger than Colbert, so it’s no surprise that I love this choice. That and the fact that he’s fearless, smarter than the other kids in class, and hilarious.

The New York Times has its doubts, but then didn’t they just print a retraction about their dismissal of evolution or heliocentrism or women’s suffrage (something like that)? A reminder of just how funny Colbert can be.

So, yes, Reali and Colbert get upgraded TV gigs in New York City today. That’s Catholic Power, bitches.

Think about how difficult it is to play a character night-after-night, a satirical send-up of the far right who still manages to be engaging enough to draw in most everyone. Excellent choice. Other prospective hosts who would’ve been solid, at least to me:

1. Ellen Degeneres

2. Neil Patrick Harris

3. Kevin Spacey

4. Seth Meyers

5. Pablo Torre….He’s a quick study

The Hall

Jack Pfiester

Tom Seaver, P; 1967-1986, Mets, Reds, Indians

Tom Terrific helped the Miracle Mets to their unlikely 1969 World Series win while also winning 311 career games (18th all-time) and recording 3,640 strikeouts (6th). A 12-time All-Star, three-time Cy Young Award winner and the 1967 NL Rookie of the Year.

Reggie Jackson, 1967-1987; A’s, Yankees

Senor Octubre

No one in the history of baseball whiffed more times (2,597) than Mr. October, but that from-the-heels swing also accounted for 563 career home runs, 463 doubles, 2,584 hits, 14 All-Star Game appearances and five World Series rings.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Wednesday, April 9

April 9, 2014 by John Walters | 4 Comments

STARTING FIVE

1. Reverse Posterization

The greatest basketball player on the planet soared skyward for a game-winning dunk, at home, for a team that has won the previous two NBA championships. All that stood in his way was a white rookie center from Duke who looks like Herman Munster’s long lost Nordic nephew (Marilyn Munster’s brother, perhaps?).

Did you know there were two Marilyns (Pat Priest, here, and Beverley Owen)? They both married Darrin Stephens.

What happened next? The white rookie, Mason Plumlee of the Brookynettes, blocked LeBron James’ slam and even more shockingly, was not whistled for a foul.

Maybe there is a Santa Claus.

While some regular readers of this blog probably are screaming for a foul, I maintain that a dunk is a very different type of shot than say, a jumper. The shooter is trying to jam the ball in the hoop. There’s going to be a little more contact, kind of like a goal-line stand in football or a play at the plate in baseball. Did “Plums” catch King James’ right hand? Sure, he did. Was it a foul? Yes. Actually, Joe Johnson also fouled LBJ as he drew the ball into both hands a second before.

Am I fine with how the referees handled this? Yup.

2. Declaration of Independents

Who’s in charge of RS’ cover art? Jonah Ryan?

Let’s get it straight, Jann Wenner…

Declaration of Independence: “When in the course of human events…”

Constitution: “We the people…”

Declaration of Independence: John Hancock’s over-sized signature

Constitution: Hancock did not sign it.

Got it, Jann? This is what happens when you let your best writer, Matt Taibbi, leave.

History should recall this as Rolling Stone’s “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” moment.

3. Geno Wins…Again

Geno’s rim shots are usually jocular.

I’ll admit, I was torn, and not in a Natalie Imbruglia way, but more so in an Ednaswap way, since they’re the band that wrote the song. My alma mater, Notre Dame (which is the ultimate in Motherhood, after all, alma or no) versus the program that once allowed me behind the curtain.

On Sunday I tweeted, as the Irish were dismantling Maryland, that Notre Dame looked good and that UConn would win by no more than 17. I was wrong (again), of course, as the Huskies won by 21, 79-58.

Geno not only passes Pat Summitt on the all-time women’s national championships list (9, but keep an eye out for Tyler Summit), but moves to 9-0 in championship games. That is Phil Jackson (11-0), John Wooden (10-0) and Red Auerbach (9-1) territory.

Asked what he’d bring home from Nashville as a memento, Geno was his typical self: “bags under my eyes and a hangover.”

He’s an all-timer…

4. CancellRovell

Rovell (left) shares a quiet moment with his Twitter tormentor.

ESPN’s business analyst vaults past RA Derek as the week’s biggest buzzkill and tool (and it’s only Wednesday) as he reports a college student for making a funny joke about himself, Hitler, the swastika, and branding on Twitter. Rovell did Nazi the humor in it, apparently.

Here’s hoping Charles Shipan at the University of Michigan did not go all Dean Wormer on the student (and, yes, that’s our second “Animal House” reference of today if you’re keeping score). Wondering if Rovell was more offended from a religious vantage point or because a student at another Big Ten school (Darren’s a Northworstern alum) tweaked him.

5. R.I.P, Ultimate Warrior

I’m not a wrestling fan (except if Bugs Bunny is in the ring against The Crusher), but James Hellwig, alias the Ultimate Warrior, died at age 54 yesterday. Only three days earlier he was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Coroners have ruled out “pile driver” as the cause of death.

Arrangements will be made by The Undertaker.

By the way, if my surname was Hellwig, I wouldn’t use any alias. Would you? Now the sobriquet of Ultimate Warrior returns to its rightful owner, Rick Barry.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P

1992

Rod Carew, 2B; 1967-1985, Twins, Angels

The greatest Panamanian hitter of all time, Carew finished his career with 3,053 hits and a .328 batting average. He led the American League in hitting in seven different seasons, though not in 1970 when he batted .366 (because of a lack of plate appearances). The ultimate contact and/or singles hitter, Carew finished with only 92 home runs and in 1972 won the batting crown without hitting even one ball that left the yard. An 18-time All Star in his 19 seasons and also the 1967 Rookie of the Year and 1977 AL MVP, Carew never played in a World Series.

Gaylord Perry, P; 1962-1983, 8 teams

Perry, here in an SI photo, pitched until age 45

Notorious for doctoring baseballs, Perry was not actually ejected from a game for throwing a spitter until his 21st season. The first pitcher to win a Cy Young award in both the AL (1972) and the NL (1978), he finished a never-dull 22-year career with 314 wins and 3,534 strikeouts, which is 8th all-time. A true character.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Tuesday, April 8

April 8, 2014April 8, 2014 by John Walters | 3 Comments

STARTING FIVE

Nantz and Napier.

1. A Sedition Unlike Any Other

UConn wins a national championship that looks a lot like its 2011 national championship, as Shabazz Napier scolds the NCAA for worrying about academics and SI‘s Pete Thamel scolds Kentucky coach John Calipari for being egotistical, a poor in-game strategist, and not Urban Meyer.

Or maybe Pete was just attempting to inveigle Calipari to take the Laker job (Southern Calipari?). Or spike page views on SI.com.

Napier. Thamel. Apparently, joy is now frowned upon.

2. R.I.P., Roseland Ballroom

The legendary midtown Manhattan concert venue, where this scribe once landed flat on his back after being dropped while crowd-surfing at a Jesus and Mary Chain show, closed its doors for good last night’s Lady Gaga concert.

Roseland opened in 1919 and has hosted everyone from Count Basie to Nirvana. Now the space, which is located directly across 53rd Street from the stage entrance to The Late Show, is being converted to a 59-story apartment building. Why? Because Manhattan is dying.

3. RA Derek

RA Derek: He’s no Van Wilder.

Not to be confused with R.A. Dickey. The UConn resident advisor’s email to his residents goes viral after he strongly urges them to get off his lawn and reminds them that they are cheering for laundry. He’s a buzz kill, but he’s right.

4. R.I.P., Mickey Rooney

Rooney Mara. Close enough.

Kids, this is the short actor, not the 60 Minutes pundit with the large eyebrows (Andy Rooney), who passed three years ago. Mickey Rooney: 200 films and eight wives. It’s amazing that he lasted until age 93.

5. Bill on Dave

Terrific piece in Grantland by its editor-in-chief on Letterman’s retirement announcement and the late night turf. I love it when Simmons really cares about a topic.

Here’s another well-done retrospective in The New Yorker.

Every day on Twitter someone feels a compulsion to write that Letterman isn’t funny, or hasn’t been funny for years, or has never been funny. At first I’m angry, then slightly annoyed, but ultimately I feel pity for these people. Most of the time I agree, different strokes for different folks. But on this one, if you don’t get why Dave is special, let’s just not be friends.

Reserves

Ping Pong

Survived crash with rugged jawlines and A&F clothing intact.

Searchers hear a ping. Then they don’t hear a ping. Then they hear a ping. Then they don’t. You’re watching CNN…

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

Rogers Hornsby

1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio, SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P 1987: Willie McCovey, 1B, Roger Maris, RF 1988: Willie Stargell, 1B, Catfish Hunter, P 1989: Earl Averill, CF, Billy Williams, LF 1990: Johnny Bench, C, Carl Yastrzemski, LF

1991

Jim Palmer, P; 1965-1984, Baltimore Orioles

Palmer joins Josh Elliott on the All Most-Handsome-Adopted-People list

The pride of Scottsdale High School (just like noted AP scribe Andy Bagnato) compiled eight 20-win seasons between 1970 and 1978 and no pitcher ever looked better doing so. A six-time All Star, three-time Cy Young Award winner and three-time World Series champ, Palmer finished with a career record of 268-152.

Joe Morgan, 2B; 1963-1984, Cincinnati Reds

Before he became a punch line for sports bloggers, Morgan was the ultimate clutch teammate of his generation. A 10-time All Star and a two-tine National League MVP, in the seasons in which the Big Red Machine won the World Series, Morgan is one of the top two or three second basemen of all time. 2,517 hits, 268 home runs, 689 stolen bases.

Remote Patrol

UConn vs Notre Dame

ESPN 8:30 p.m.

Two men women enter, one man woman leaves. Two teams, 76 games, zero losses thus far this year. Will this be the greatest women’s basketball game of all time? We shall see . Geno is 8-0 all-time in NCGs, but if there were ever a school that knew how to stop streaks, it’s Notre Dame.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Monday, April 7

April 7, 2014April 7, 2014 by John Walters | 2 Comments

STARTING FIVE

Aaron Harrison has exceeded his Shining Moment allotment for this year’s tourney.

1. Familiar Faces

Kentucky will meet UConn in the men’s NCAA championship hoops game tonight ~~Dallas Arlington~~ North Texas, while UConn will face Notre Dame in the women’s edition tomorrow night in Nash Vegas.

Since 1996, the Wildcats have appeared in four Monday night finales (3-1) and the Huskies have appeared in three (3-0). No other school has won as many titles in that span as either of these two, and only Florida and Kansas have appeared in as many finals as UConn.

Since 1995, the Huskies have appeared in eight championship games –winning all eight — and the Irish in three, going 1-2. Only Tennessee has appeared in more.

2. HBO Go(T)

Selena: She’d be a heartbeat away from the presidency…if only she had a heart.

Season premieres of “Game of Thrones” and “Veep” sandwiched around the series premiere of “Silicon Valley.”

–Standout moments: Selena, when asked by a fan at a book signing what her favorite word is, replies, “Next” (which is also a brilliant call-back to star Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ final word in the immortal “Soup Nazi” episode)…. T.J. Miller’s t-shirt reads “I Know HTML (How To Meet Ladies)”….Tyrion Lannister: “I admired your mother…she wanted to have me executed, but I admired her.”

Really think Jamie Lannister needs to show up in a “GoT SILF?” T-shirt, though. And I miss the old Daario Naharis.

3. One Simple Rule For Dating My Teenage Daughter: Don’t

Gene Chizik’s stare here says it all.

That’s the same look Nick Saban gives senior back-ups who would like to apply for a fifth year.

4. The Prodigal Sun

Gerald Green scores 24 last night and had 32 Friday, off the bench, in key wins for Phoenix at Portland and versus Oklahoma City. He’s the Suns’ super sub, now with his seventh NBA team since entering the league in 2005 (and answering the question, “What’s basketball-ese for ‘Edgar Renteria?'”).

Don’t know how long Green –they should refer to him locally as “Verde”– will last in Phoenix, but he’s been a savior for them this season. Definitely deserves some Sixth Man of the Year votes. Either he or teammate Markieff Morris.

5. Bitch Perfect

That was Anna Kendrick hosting SNL, and I half-expected her to sit down on the stage and do the cups routine for her monologue. Instead, she did this.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

Rogers Hornsby

1990

Johnny Bench, C; 1967-1983, Cincinnati Reds

Many consider Bench, the heart of the Big Red Machine in the 1970s, to be the greatest catcher of all-time. A 14-time All-Star, 10-time Gold Glove winner and two-time National League MVP, it was Bench who stands in the background as Carlton Fisk waves the ball fair in Game 6 of the 1975 World Series. And, yes, Cincy won that Fall Classic.

Carl Yastrzemski, LF; 1961-1983, Boston Red Sox

Yaz: He helped a generation or two of BoSox fans get over the loss of Teddy Ballgame.

This Yaz had nothing to do with “Upstairs at Eric'” and Only You, but he was an 18-time All-Star whose 3,419 hits currently puts him in 7th place on the all-time list (Derek Jeter should catch him before he retires). No one ever played the Green Monster more deftly, and Yaz was also the last American Leaguer, before Miguel Cabrera, to hit for the Triple Crown (in 1976).

Remote Patrol

NCAA Championship Game

CBS 9 p.m.

I honestly do not see what CBS sees in Greg Anthony as an analyst. Steve Kerr and he are oil and water, and there isn’t a person on the CBS/TBS/TNT/Tru set whom I don’t think would do a better job. ANYWAY, Cats and Dogs in Arlington tonight. Hard to bet against Calipari, but UConn’s backcourt have been the studs of the tourney.