STARTING FIVE

Flight 370 carried 239 passengers and crew.

1. Lost

How does this happen? A Boeing 777-200  that is two hours into a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing in good weather simply vanishes. To this point, nobody knows what happened to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Two of the passengers were flying with stolen passports, one of them a 19 year-old Iranian male. The most plausible explanation, since no debris has been found and J.J. Abrams only has control over fictitious events, is that it ditched into the South China Sea.

2. SXSW

Diarrhea Planet: Giving new meaning to the term “the single will drop soon.”

Everyone from Bill Simmons to Lena Dunham to Edward Snowden (remotely) is speaking at this year’s South By Southwest Music & Arts Festival, which annually tops our list of “I’ve really got to go to that some day events that I will forget about one week from now.” The SXSW has gotten so expansive –music, film, forums on digital media, etc. –that it can feel overwhelming, but if you remember nothing else, please know that a band named Diarrhea Planet is on this year’s list of live acts, and they’ve made a video for their song “Ghost With a Boner.”

3. “They’re No Diarrhea Planet”

Price, of fame.

Speaking of bands worth remembering, you should really listen to and watch this video by Lake Street Dive (Minneapolis streets, representin’!). More than 1.6 million people already have seen it, so maybe you are one of them. They’re actually a Boston-based band (as opposed to a Bouillia-based band) and when half of your quartet is a trumpet and a stand-up bass, then you can count on music critics referring to your sound as “eclectic.”

Best thing about them? Lead singer Rachael Price’s smoky, ethereal Dusty Springfield-esque vocal chords. Here they are performing “Stop Your Crying” off their new album, “Bad Self Portraits.” Me like.

Oh, and this one’s for Jeff Pearlman.

“But, JW,” you ask, “where might I see Lake Street Dive live?” Glad you asked. I’m here for you.

4. Diarrhea Planet: Not To Be Confused With Oscar Vomit

A wretch

Oh, he’s good. Oscar Pistorius threw up yesterday as a coroner regurgitated facts about what the four shots that he fired through a locked bathroom door did to his girlfriend’s body. Honestly, throwing up in court? That’s a new one. Remember, though, it’s not a jury Oscar is hoping to persuade. It’s one black female 66 year-old judge.

5. Who’s This Spring’s Yasiel Puig?

Solarte, oh-oh.

I’ll never forget it. Last March, one of my very, very favorite co-workers at The Steakateria, Dan Leonard (if you ever see the steakaria ad in the back of a NYC taxi, he’s the good-looking blond dude with the spiked hair), would greet me every day at work with, “YASIEL PUIG!” Dan, a baseball fanatic, could not wait to select the then-unknown Cuban for his fantasy team based on the fact that Puig was batting over .400 in the Cactus League.

Puig spent the first two months of the season playing Triple A ball, but you know what happened from there. Dan, good for him, moved out to LA –presumably for his film career, but I’ve always thought it was to be closer to his protege of sorts.

Anyway, which rookie is generating the most buzz this winter (it is still winter, after all)?

Well, among rookie with 12 or more at-bats, would you believe that no one has a higher batting average than a guy playing second base for the New York Yankees –who did he replace again? It’s early, but Yangervis Solarte is batting .588 in 17 at-bats. He also has two home runs.

Reserves

Shrubbery

Barack Obama: “Between Two Ferns.” Bill Clinton: “Between Two Bushes.”

POTUS, who has previously slow-jammed with Jimmy Fallon, appeared on an episode of “Between Two Ferns” that will air this week. Host Zack Galifianakis asks, “What’s it like to be the last black president?”

******

Over at Grantland, Andy Greenwald liked the “True Detective” finale, but you know, he’s got some problems with the series. And, as for the sun, sure, it’s life-sustaining and all, but why must it be so bright?

****

Blake Griffin: 22 first-quarter points, and a familiar tussle in the fourth quarter that leads to an ejection of Phoenix Sun P.J. Tucker as well as to a near-total  Clipper meltdown. The Clips: Perhaps as much talent as any team in the West, and Griffin’s jumper now answers all those questions Charles Barkley once posed about it, but do they have the maturity to win in May?

******

“Roam, if you want to/Roam around the world….” My piece on Ryan Newburn.

*****
Jim Caple, ESPN: “Barry Bonds is back, and that’s good for baseball.” It is? Baseball needs a surly, selfish ex-player who littered his legacy with blatant steroid use?

*****

Mars Attacks!

Life on Mars

The Veronica Mars movie, starring Sarah Marshall Kristen Bell, opens on Friday. The film was entirely funded by Kickstarter.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Wlie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

Zack Wheat

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 

1975

Vernon “Lefty” Gomez, P; 1930-1943, NY Yankees

A seven-time All-Star and five-time World Series champion, Gomez led the American League in wins and ERA twice and in strikeouts three times. His best season was in 1934, when he posted a 26-5 record and led the American League in strikeouts, ERA, complete games and innings pitched. As for October, his lifetime World Series record was 6-0.

Lewis “Hack” Wilson, CF; 1923-1934, Cubs, 3 others

Though he stood just five-foot-six, Wilson led the National League in home runs four times, including in 1930, when he hit 56 (which is probably still the NL record, if you exclude steroid users). He also led the league in strikeouts five times, hence “Hack.” However, Wilson did finish with a lifetime average of .307. He was quite the brawler and boozer, cutting a colorful figure in Prohibition-era Chicago.

STARTING FIVE

“I’ll be back tomorrow.” “Why?” “Don’t ever change, man.”

 1. “What’s Scented Meat?”

A satisfying conclusion, for me at least, to “True Detective.” How did you all feel?

As I wrote in Newsweek (“Oooooh, Mr. Big Shot Writer Guy is name-dropping titles now!”) this past weekend, the more and more “True Detective” evolved, the more it became primarily a buddy film. But by no means a standard one. Here were two men with wildly different lives and character, almost a perfect dichotomy, in an arranged marriage. Over time they come to first respect one another and eventually, yes, love one another.

Rust Cohle: “Are we getting married?”

Marty Hart: “If we were getting married, I would’ve used a nicer ribbon.”

One moment that I forgot to include in my piece was from Episode 6: after the brawl which, let’s face it, was Rust voluntarily choosing to serve his penance for what had transpired, their relationship is at its nadir. Rust quits the force and walks out, perhaps never to see Marty again, and what’s his tagline? “Nice hook, Marty.”

Perfect.

And don’t you love how 2012 Rust came to respect Marty and how 2012 Marty could tease Rust? In Episode 7, when Rust compliments Marty on finding the maid and Marty retorts, “High praise from a bartender.” And last night, when Rust realizes that Marty has made a huge leap with his connection of the painted house, and how jealous he, The Thinker, is that he hadn’t thought of it first. “F___ you,” he says, but with admiration.

Anyway, I know all the loose ends weren’t wrapped up — Did anyone ever explain why Dora Lange was posed that way? — but I’m glad that Nic Pizzolatto was shrewd enough to give us an extended denouement (not a crazy-ass long denouement like in the final film in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, which may still be going on at this minute) for the sake of catharsis. Both Marty’s scene with his family and Rust’s out on the sidewalk brought it all back to Episode 1.

Also, wow, every time you think Matthew McConaughey has an Emmy moment in this series, he takes it up another notch. And, was it just me or did Rust Cohle look a lot like Jesus Christ (or what we think of Him) when they first cut to him in the hospital bed?

It’s worth noting that the final scene at Errol’s home had strong hints of the final scene from “The Silence of the Lambs”, while an earlier scene -the threat of a sniper–was redolent of an early scene from the “Breaking Bad” finale. In Nic Pizzolatto’s defense, they’d already written and shot that scene long before the “Breaking Bad” finale aired. And I did love that Rust raised his hand and called in the shots. Rust: “Do I strike you as more of a man of words or action, Steve?” Uh-hunh.

“Form and Void” was the episode’s title. From the Book of Genesis, second verse: “The earth (as opposed to the Erath) was without form and void.” It was, darkness. “The oldest story,” as Rust says. “Light and dark.”

And how about how the show never spoon-feeds you? Rust walks behind the house to find the German Shepherd pooch that had just run past him dead. But there had been no gun shot. Foreshadowing. Errol had killed him with the axe so that the dog would not follow him and lead Rust right to him.

Wondering how much sales of Lone Star have spiked in the past month.

Also, loved how Cary Fukunaga took the series back to all of the old haunts, in reverse order, ending with our original oak tree.

Here’s Taran Killam, who’s having himself a killer 2014 so far, by the way, channeling MM.

Here’s what The Daily Beast wrote about the series finale, and here’s our friend Mr. Sepinwall.

2. Mendenhall of Fame

Mendenhall is retiring from the NFL and says he wants to write. The door’s always open at MH, Rashard.

This sentence from Arizona Cardinal running back Rashard Mendenhall’s thoughtful and, at times, Rust Cohle-parroting, essay on why he is retiring from the NFL at age 26 stands out: “I can’t even count how many times I’ve been called a ‘dumb nigger.’ There is a bold coarseness you receive from non-supporters that seems to only exist on the Internet.”

Anyway, I’m not sure if Mendenhall is going Full Earl Campbell on this, but you know what? Football, playing it, is a GRIND. And playing running back is the biggest grind of all. I’m surprised more guys don’t do this. Mendenhall earned $2.5 million from the Cards last season, by the way.

You may recall –and someone might have commented if I hadn’t mentioned it–that Mendenhall is the player who posted some controversial tweets after the killing of Osama Bin Laden in May of 2011. So go ahead and judge him solely on that if you want.

As for his retirement, we’ll see if he returns in a year or two. Either way, he’s earned the sabbatical.

3. Aaron Paul, The King of Pop, and a prince–but not THE Prince

Jesse Pinkman appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” last week and told a tale about doing tequila shots with Michael Jackson. Also, he once slept in the bed of the Prince of Brunei while the Prince and his entourage reclined around him and they all watched Paul’s first film. It sounds weird, but then you think to yourself, Who wouldn’t want to hang out with Aaron Paul, bitch?

4. Hiccups

The Spurs, on the other hand, have won 9 of 10, have the league’s best record, and again nobody at ESPN is aware they exist.

The Miami Heat, who have the second-best record in the Eastern Conference, have lost three straight. The Indiana Pacers and OKC Thunder, who are tied for the second-best record in the NBA (46-17), are both 5-5 over their past 10 games. The Pacers are in the midst of their longest losing streak of the season, four straight.

All just bumps in the road.

Most noteworthy momentum-shift of the weekend? The Knicks have won three in a row (at Minnesota, Utah, at Cleveland) and host the Sick Sirs, losers of 16 straight, tonight. NYK remains five games back in the loss column from the final spot in the East, but the way Atlanta is tanking (1-9 in last 10 games), I think Adam Silver (or is it Nate Silver?) may make an executive decision and make sure the Carmelos qualify. The Knicks are such a hot mess–there’s no one outside Atlanta, and few inside, who’d prefer to see the Hawks face Miami or Indy and the first round than the Knicks.

5. Wiggins Out

Doug McDermott, senior: 44 points on Saturday, which pushes him above 3,000 for his career and into 8th place all-time.

Andrew Wiggins, freshman: 41 points on Saturday and he’s already talking about how his time in Lawrence flew past too quickly.

You know me, I love Dougie McBucketlist, but Wiggins would be my No. 1 overall pick. There was a moment near the end of the West Virginia loss where he silkily buried a three and then, guarding the inbounds pass, stole the ball, and rammed it home as if he was playing Nerf. No, he’s NOT Michael Jordan, but he looks and plays like him more than anyone I’ve seen since MJ arrived.

I know folks love Duke’s Jabari Parker, but to me Wiggins seems like a superior athlete. He’s a born 3, whereas Parker to me plays more like a 4 but doesn’t have the size. I’ll admit I haven’t seen Parker as much –that would mean I’d have to watch Duke –but I love Wiggins’ ceiling more than anyone else’s out there.

Reserves

The simplest ideas are usually the funniest ideas. Also, loved how SNL took two memes –a rash of biblical films and the whininess of “Girls”–and merged them into one idea.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner 1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B;1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

Bob Feller

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P

Mickey Mantle, CF; 1951-1968, New York Yankees

If any baseball player personified the Eisenhower Era, it was The Mick. A three-time American League MVP and 16-time All-Star, Mantle hit for power and average (he won the 1956 Triple Crown) and may be the greatest switch-hitter of all-time. Mantle played in a dozen World Series and was the primary reason the Bronx Bombers won seven of them.

Eddie Mathews, 3B; 1952-1968, Boston/Milwaukee/Atlanta Braves

Mathews and his sweet swing graced the inaugural issue of Sports Illustrated on August 16, 1954.

A dead-pull hitter, Mathews was amongst the premier power hitters in the National League in the 1950’s and ’60’s and was known to possess a near-perfect swing. A 12-time All-Star and two-time World Series champion, Mathews retired with 512 career home runs which, at the time, was the fourth-highest total in history behind Babe Ruth, Mantle, and Jimmie Foxx.

STARTING FIVE

The Doctor is in.

1. Clips Ahoy!

The Buffalo Braves San Diego Los Angeles Clippers, with last night’s 48-point evisceration of their co-tenants, the Los Angeles Tankers, have now won six straight. First-year coach Doc Rivers has performed a heart transplant on this franchise and it’s taking. Look closely and you will see what may be the most dangerous team in the Western conference.

—Blake Griffin: He has learned to shoot the 15-to-18 footer, and he gets the calls down low.

—Chris Paul: Now healthy again, one of the two to three best point guards in the league.

—DeAndre Jordan: Doing the dirty work, leads the NBA in rebounds and field goal percentage and he even buried both free throws in the final minute versus the Phoenix Suns on Tuesday.

–Sharp-shooters: Jamal Crawford, Matt Barnes and J.J. Redick are all hired guns from beyond the arc, and veterans as well.

–And Darren Collison is a silky player, normally the fastest dude on the court.

Keep an eye on the Clips. Staples Center will have an NBA Finals contender again this spring, just in a different uniform.

2. Rose Bud

So my old friend Kostya Kennedy is a senior editor at Sports Illustrated who, when the mood strikes him as it did for his Joe DiMaggio biography, is the most gifted writer on the staff. He’s also penned a book on Pete Rose, baseball’s all-time hits leader, and lately has been taking to stumping for Rose to be enshrined in The Hall. A couple of months ago Kostya wrote an Op-Ed for the New York Times lobbying for The Hit King, and yesterday SI.com ran a similar essay on its site.

Will Leitch of Sports On Earth disagrees. Although I’d say that Leitch’s argument is less about why gambling is so wrong as it is based on the fact that use of PEDs is not as deleterious to the integrity of the game as gambling. Maybe not, but Leitch often sounds like one of those climate change truthers when discussing PEDs. He just keeps parroting the idea that we don’t truly know the damaging effects of PEDs without bothering to even know the difference between a covalent and ionic bond. I think a lot of scientists who have devoted their lives to hormone and steroid research are quite certain that they have long-lasting ill effects.

3. Seinfeld and Fallon

So, after Jerry appeared on “The Tonight Show” during Fallon’s first week as host, he stuck around to answer questions from the audience (it only appears on-line). What does it say about television that this segment is more relaxed and enjoyable than any guest-in-the-chair segment you’d normally see from Fallon?

4. Thunder from Down Under!

This was the view in Sydney yesterday as a late summer thunderstorm swept across Bondi Bay, etc. Russell Crowe immediately began collecting animals two by two.

4. The Medium Happy Bibliofiles: The Goldfinch

A terrorist blast at the Metropolitan Museum of Art has left Theo Decker an eighth-grade orphan. It has also left him the possessor of a priceless painting, a secret he maintains throughout his adolescence and early adulthood. Donna Tartt, who pens novels even less frequently than Daniel Day-Lewis acts, weaves a modern-day Oliver Twist tale that encompasses contemporary York City (shout-outs to both The White Horse and JG Melon, as well as my ND classmate Thom Browne), Las Vegas, sports gambling, furniture restoration, antiquing, and the effects of all types of mind-altering drugs.

Highly recommended.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner 1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B;1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

Mel Ott

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P

1973

Robin Roberts, P; 1948-1966, Philadelphia Phillies

A seven-time All-Star, Roberts compiled six consecutive 20-win seasons, including a 28-7 year in 1952. On May 13, 1954, he gave up a lead-off home run to start the game versus the Red Legs, then retired the next 27 batters in an 8-1 win. What is true: Roberts was also a captain of the Michigan State basketball team. What is not: he is one of the hosts of “Good Morning, America.”

Edward Charles “Whitey” Ford; 1950-1967, New York Yankees

Being the title of an Everlast song did not play any role in Ford’s induction.

“The Chairman of the Board” of those Damn Yankees! era teams, Ford’s feat extend beyond his fame as the ace of the pinstripes. Only two pitchers have a higher career won-loss % than Ford’s .690: Al Spalding, who pitched in the 19th century (252-65, .795), and Spud Chandler, a fellow Yankee who pitched in the ’30s and ’40s but only won a 109 games (109-43, .717). Ford went 236-106, appeared in 10 All-Star Games, won one Cy Young and one World Series MVP award, and was a six-time World Series champion. He also grew up in Astoria, Queens, probably closer to Yankee Stadium than any Hall of Famer ever did.

 Remote Patrol

True Detective

Sunday: HBO 9 p.m.

Sundays are my days off. On Sundays I watch ‘True Detective.’ You don’t get to interrupt that.

Carcosa… a yellow king… God botherers…men who mow lawns. All of the questions will be answered, except perhaps the one about whether or not death is the end. Marty and Rust may be my favorite platonic male love story since Andy and Red. I’ll miss them.

 STARTING FIVE

They’re the Lumberjacks, and they’re okay. If not ranked.

1. (Almost) Everyone is Beatable

The University of Duke, America’s top destination for academically overachieving porn stars, falls at Wake Forest, a .500 team. Syracuse, barely more than a fortnight removed from being 25-0 and No. 1, has now lost four of its last five. Creighton, which boasts the nation’s most complete player and top scorer, Dougie McBuckets, has lost two in a row.

Only Wichita State remains unbeaten, while Florida (27-2) is No. 1.

I’m somewhat fascinated by Stephen F. Austin. The Lumberjacks should be 28-2 after tonight, meaning that only the Shockers will have either more wins or a higher win percentage. And yet SFA is still not ranked. Yes, they are SFAWOL from the AP and USA Today polls.

Given that rankings in college hoops are even less meaningful than in college football, I wonder why so many AP voters and coaches are trolling them. What’s the harm in rewarding a program that is about to go undefeated in conference AND possibly win 30 games in the regular season? It’s not as if they’ll get a better bowl invite.

At the behest of certain SEC coaches who would prefer to remain nameless, please take 10 seconds before moving on to the next item. Thank you.

2. .Will It Play in Pretoria?

South Africa has the highest rate of murder by shooting of females of any nation not currently at war.

Here’s a little scribbling I did on the Oscar Pistorius trial, now in its fourth notorious day. An excerpt from testimony given by the first witness, Michelle Burger, a neighbor and university lecturer, as defense counsel Barry Roux attempts to rattle her.

Burger: “I was sitting in bed and I heard her screams. She screamed terribly and she yelled for help. I heard the screams again. It was worse. It was more intense. Just after her screams, I heard four shots. Four gun shots. You could hear it was blood-curdling screams. You can’t translate it into words.”

Roux: “As you stand there, as you testify in chief, you do it from the perspective that Oscar Pistorius lied in the bail application and his defense is a lie?”

Burger: “I could not understand how I could clearly hear a woman scream, but Mr. Pistorius could not hear that.”

Roux: “Do you believe the man?” Is that a rhetorical question, counsel?

3. True Detective: Supporting Cast

“Juice, meth, coke…name it.”

First of all, I was finally able to find someone who is not a fan of “True Detective”: Emily Nussbaum of The New Yorker. Hey, to each their own, but living where I do and seeing subway-cars full of Nussbaum types day in and day out, I’m not surprised. Nussbaum’s critiques are more about how the show is NOT specifically fashioned to her neurotic, feminist Gotham City perspective than about what the show actually is. It’s like, If only Marty and Rust took classes at Soul Cycle and met me at The Tangled Vine to ask me what I thought of that MoMa exhibit over a glass of sauvignon blanc, then I’d like this show.

When I spoke to series creator Nic Pizzolatto, one of the many things he said that I’ll never forget was: “I don’t care if these are sympathetic characters. I care if they’re authentic.”

Amen.

For me, as we head into the final stretch, I’d like to salute the minor characters whose performances were so memorable that they’ve helped make this eight Sunday evenings of television I’ll never forget: Brad Carter (Charlie Lange), Shea Whigham (Pastor Theriot), Jay O. Sanders (Billy Lee Tuttle), Ritchie Montgomery (Henry Olivier), Olafur Darri Olafsson (DeWall), Tory Kittles and Michael Potts (Papania and Gilbaugh), Kevin Dunn (Major Ken Queseda), Charles Halford (Reggie LeDoux), Joseph Sikora (Ginger), Alexandra Daddario (Lisa) and even Pizzolatto himself (bartender at strip club).

Charlie Lange will always be my favorite, though.

Rust: “What do you mean she didn’t make sense?”

Charlie: “Like she could duck hunt with a rake.”

Two other favorite quotes from the series:

Marty (in 1995, when Air was near peak of popularity): “You are the Michael Jordan of being a sonofabitch.”

Rust: “I don’t see how two dead cats have anything to do with a murder investigation, but that’s me, I’m from Texas.”

4. Brothers in Arm

SI swimsuit rookie Hannah Ferguson did not throw a perfect game, hence the pout.

It’s pretty cool that Javi Salas of the University of Miami threw a perfect game versus Villanova on Tuesday night (apparently, Jameis Winston is not the only college baseball pitcher in Florida). Cooler still, Javi’s younger brother Jorge did the play-by-play for the game. Here, via Deadspin, is Jorge’s call of his brother’s final out.

5. Has Anything Changed?

From Diana (and earlier) to Breanna, Geno has ruled college hoops.

Thirteen years ago I spent an entire women’s college basketball season trailing Geno Auriemma and the Connecticut Huskies around for a book, The Same River Twice. At the time UConn and Notre Dame, coached by Muffet McGraw, were easily the nation’s two best teams –they would meet three times, with the Fighting Irish winning first to break UConn’s 31-game win streak, then UConn winning on a buzzer-beater to capture the Big East crown, and ultimately Notre Dame winning the rubber match in the Final Four.

At the time I thought that the continued spotlight that Auriemma’s success at UConn, plus his undeniable charisma, would lead to more attention, which would lead to more money, which would lead to more terrific coaches entering the sport, which would ultimately level the playing field.

That was in 2001. It’s now 2014 and Geno Auriemma and Muffet McGraw have the only undefeated teams in the country (and no one is stopping the Huskies this season). Tennessee has not lost much and Stanford, under Tara Van Der Veer, is No. 3 and has had a nice little west-of-the-Rockies dynasty going for two decades-plus. But only Louisville and Baylor, and perhaps Maryland, have seriously come from nowhere in the past five years to challenge the oligarchy.

It’s a credit mostly to Geno. Recruiting where he does, and now stuck in the conference that he is, he still has the most dominant team in college hoops, men or women. He is The Master.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner 1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B;1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

Monte Ward

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972

Leroy Robert “Satchel” Paige, P; Negro Leagues

Before he became a 42 year-old rookie with the Cleveland Indians in 1948, Satchel was a legend in the Negro Leagues due to his dominance on the mound and his infectiously enthusiastic personality. In the Negro Leagues Paige, as hard a thrower as the game has ever seen, would have his infield sit down and watch as he struck out the side.

Satchel

Sandy Koufax, P; 1955-1966, Los Angeles Dodgers

For the first seven years of his career, “the Left Arm of God” was a pedestrian pitcher with a 54-53 record. But, oh, those final five seasons: Koufax would have three seasons with 25 or more wins, three with 300 or more strikeouts and three with a 1.88 ERA or lower. The National League MVP in 1963, Koufax was the first pitcher to win the Cy Young Award three times and the first to hurl four no-hitters, one of them a perfect game. He retired at age 30, so his induction into the Hall of Fame at age 36 made him the youngest player to be elected into the Hall.

Remote Patrol

Heat at Spurs

TNT 8 p.m.

A replay of the best NBA Finals in at least a decade, tonight’s matchup pits two teams with near identical records (44-16 for SAS, 43-15 for Miami). The Heat led by as much as 29 in their previous meeting this season, but the Spurs were without three starters. Look for a closer game tonight.

 STARTING FIVE

How does Nike or Under Armour not have a sponsorship deal witht those husky booties yet?

1. Mushin’ Impossible

The 2014 edition of the Iditarod, i.e. Iditarod XLII, got underway this weekend and already 12 of the 69 sled dog teams that began the race have scratched (and not just behind the ears).  That includes our sentimental favorite, Ellen Halvorsen. Why have so many quit so early? A dearth of snow. Leading sled dog teams over frozen tundra means that every rock, nook and yes, even the occasional cranny, will send reverberations through the joints of the musher. Sleds, to our knowledge, still do not come equipped with shock absorbers.

“This is probably going to go down as one of the most hard-on-people runs of all times,” said veteran musher Tim Osmar.

I still don’t understand, other than the cost of doing so, why no one televises this race.

2. Fish Bowl

So what if none of the sharks like your product? You’ve just gotten 10 minutes of free advertising on prime-time TV.

Have you watched “Shark Tank” on ABC or CNBC? Terrific concept, and even better execution. Fledgling entrepeneurs and/or inventors present their product to five billionaires (or at the very least, magnates), who then decide whether or not they believe the product has growth potential and negotiate both amongst themselves and the entrepreneur in terms of backing for the company. It should be required viewing for every business school or Econ class.

What distinguishes the show are our five panelists: Mark Cuban, Kevin O’Leary, Lori Greiner (QVC), Daymond John (FUBU) and Robert Herjavec. They’re brutally honest both with each other and the aspiring entrepeneurs, and they’re merciless when it comes to negotiating. But they always maintain a sense of humor as some dude who developed a magnet on which to affix your reading glasses to your shirt stands there hoping they’ll help make him a millionaire.

Also, and this is not to be forgotten, they never fail to appreciate how big a moment this is for the person standing before them. There’s empathy here. It doesn’t cloud their fiscal decisions, but it’s what separates “Shark Tank” from “The Apprentice.” They genuinely get —and in some cases, remember–what it feels like to be on the cusp of striking it big on your own.

3. Outer Spacey

2-time Oscar winner

2-time Oscar winner

A bizarre coincidence -and proof that I overindulge my brain with television —here’s Kevin Spacey on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Sunday night doing pitch-perfect impersonations of Jack Lemmon (who must be his father, I’m convinced of it) and Johnny Carson. Then last night that’s Lemmon appearing on Carson from the TCM show “Carson”, a retrospective that should have made “Remote Patrol.”

4. Rare Jordan

Jordan’s emergence this season is one reason you shouldn’t be surprised when the Clips make the Western Conference finals.

Only one player in the NBA is in the top five in three different major categories, and it ain’t LeBron or either Kevin.

Before we go there, know that several players are in the top five in TWO major categories: John Wall, Andre Drummond, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, LeBron James and Kevin Love.

Only DeAndre Jordan of the L.A. Clippers, however, makes three lists. Jordan, 25, leads the league in rebounding (14.0), field-goal percentage (.661; not coincidentally, he also leads the Ass. in dunks), and is 4th in blocked shots. Jordan’s swat of Goran Dragic’s lay-up in the final minute of last night’s Clips-Suns contest was the coup de grace of the game. The 6-11 dude out of Texas A&M is more than just a “Top 10 Plays” staple.

5. Future Islands on Manhattan Island

If I’m in the band, this photo gets a prominent place in the den.

The benchmark, IMO, for a musical performance that thrills David Letterman happened a few years ago with The Heavy and “How Do You Like Me Now?” There have been a few others I can think of, such as Beyoncé with “Halo” and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros with “Home.”

On Monday evening, Baltimore-based Future Islands performed their new single “Seasons (Waiting on You)”. Lead singer Samuel T. Herring, who looks like Russell Crowe’s little brother, gave a passionate performance replete with, at moments, a monster voice.

Dave afterward: “Oh, c’mon!…I’ll take all of that you got! Future Islands, that was wonderful!”

Also, if you missed it, here’s Dave’s tribute to Adele Dazeem.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B;1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

Mordecai “Three Finger (and a Thumb)” Brown

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B, Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF

1971

Warren Spahn, P; 1942, 1946-1965, Boston and Milwaukee Braves

Thirteen 20-win seasons. 14 seasons as an All-Star, more than any pitcher in the history of the game. Also, 363 victories, sixth-best all-time, more than any lefty in baseball history and more than any pitcher in the history of the game born after 1900. A true legend, Spahn also served in World War II and saw action at the Battle of the Bulge. Went 23-7 twice, at the age 32 and also at the age of 42.

Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra, C; 1946-1965, New York Yankees

A three-time American League MVP, a 15-time All-Star and a winner of 10 World Series (a record), Berra is amongst the greatest catchers of all time, if not the best. Led the Yankees in RBI seven consecutive seasons, and this on a team that had Joe DiMaggio and/or Mickey Mantle. The only player we know of to have a Hanna-Barbera character named after him.

*In 1965 both Spahn, 44, and Berra, 40, both in their final Major League seasons, played for the New York Mets. “I don’t know if we’re the oldest battery,” Berra said at the time, “but I do know we are the ugliest.”

Remote Patrol

Blade Runner

BBC America 9 p.m.

Oh, you cheeky Brits! Airing this 1982 Ridley Scott classic during the opening week of the Oscar Pistorius trial. Brilliant.