STARTING FIVE

Marooned Five….plus Seven

1. Lost, All Is Lost, and MH 370

I’ve never really understood aviation. This giant steel bird defies gravity AND I can get a Scotch and Soda?!? So I’m not about to proffer theories on what happened to that Malaysia Airlines flight and let’s not forget that there’s a good chance 239 people lost their lives.

I’m not about to proffer a theory when this guy will and this site will add two more.

Still, bizarre that we have a television show that’s eerily similar and a film from last autumn about a man hopelessly adrift in the Indian Ocean. Now if we learn that there was a tiger on the flight…

2. Stone Cold Yesterday

Stone is 55 and a front-runner for this year’s Christie Brinkley Award.

That’s Sharon Stone on the cover of Self Shape, where inside she laments the fact that she’s aging (followed by millions of women sending emotional hate daggers in her direction). If you don’t know Sharon Stone, well, the Nineties were a great decade.

You know how Sports Illustrated has SI For Kids to appeal to a younger demo (Do they still have that? I don’t know). Well, if I were Self my youth-demo mag would be Selfie (too easy).

3. The Sick Sirs

MCW: Hope in Philly.

Philly lost its 21st in a row last night to Indiana, though the Sick Sirs have given the East’s best team all it could handle twice in the past four nights. The Cadaverliers lost an NBA-record 26 in a row just three seasons ago, but Philly’s next five include two against the Bulls, one against the surging Knicks, at San Antonio then at Houston. Their best shot of avoiding infamy is either to catch the Knicks napping (not so implausible) or defeating Detroit six games from now, which would leave them tied with those Cadavs.

And yet, Philly (15-52) still has a better record than the Milwaukee Bucks.

Aaaaaand, Philadelphia may set an all-time NBA losing streak record while having the league’s Rookie of the Year. Michael Carter-Williams, out of Syracuse, leads all rookies in points, rebounds, assists and minutes.

4. Dink

An entire profile of Dinklage and not a single mention of “In Bruges?” That was my sole problem with it.

Solid profile in Esquire on Peter Dinklage of “Game of Thrones.” He tells of an incident, not long after he first became a recognizable face (figure?) after The Station Agent was released. Dinklage was walking out of a diner in L.A. when a guy pulling out of the same diner on a motorcycle recognized him.

“And he looked at me,” says Dinklage. “He didn’t wave, but he looked at me, and then he pulled out into traffic and this car, like, boom–killed him instantly.”

5. Would You Go, Go To the Fogo?

Yours from $600 per night.

This is the Fogo Island Inn, located on the northern coast of Newfoundland (even the southern coast of Newfoundland is too far north for most). Outside magazine just named it as the “Best New Hotel”, and says that among the activities for those staying in one of its 29 suites, “you can learn to plane a wooden ship hull.” So there’s that.

The northern tip of Newfoundland as a vacation destination? Talk to us in three months.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Wlie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 

Kid Nichols

1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B

1977

Ernie Banks, SS/1B; 1953-1971, Chicago Cubs

An All-Star in 11 of his 19 seasons, Mr. Cub was and remains as much a face of his franchise as any player ever has with any franchise. Banks finished with 512 career home runs, 407 doubles and 2,583 hits. His best seasons were between 1958-1960, when he twice led the National League in home runs, twice led it in RBI, and was twice named league MVP. Let’s play two.

Mickey Welch, P; 1880-1892, Troy Trojans, New York Giants

“Smiling” Mickey Welch

The third 300-game winner in MLB history, Welch compiled a 307-210 record with a career E.R.A. of 2.71. In 1885 his record was 44-11 and he had a 1.66 ERA for the Giants. On August 28, 1884, he struck out nine consecutive batters to start the game, which 130 years later, is still the MLB record. Welch is also believed to have been the first pinch-hitter in baseball history, striking out on September 10, 1889.

STARTING FIVE

Who wants to spoil every expert’s bracket? “Me!” cries Joe Harris.

1. Final Four Seeds

As tremulous (“that word does not mean what you think it means”) as this college basketball season has been, it’s even more jarring how many experts went chalk on their predictions. Look below at the dudes from ESPN, CBSSports.com, Yahoo! Sports,  SI and Bleacher Report.

Nearly every last one has Michigan State and Florida. Do I think that, right now, Florida, Michigan State, Arizona and Louisville (two 1 seeds, two 4 seeds) are the favorites? Yes, but how often does that wind up meaning anything?

I get that the Spartans are healthy; they’re also 8-7 since January 25.

I get that Louisville is the defending national champ and has Rick Pitino; they’re also capable of engaging in a rock fight at any moment.

Florida has the tourney-tested coach, an outstanding backcourt, a dominant big man and senior experience,  but–oh, that’s right, I actually DO like Florida to go all the way. Of course, if Kansas ever harnesses its talent, that’s going to be an Elite Eight final that could sub as a national championship game.

Dark horses: Virginia (I know where they’re seeded, thank you) because I love Mighty Joe Harris and because they play smart, Baylor, UCLA, Stephen F. Austin (why not?) and Duke.

SLO jams: Cal Poly-SLO is in at 13-19 while SMU is not at 24-6. Yeah, March Madness is a lot more fair than the BCS.

Jay Bilas: Kansas, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Louisville

Digger Phelps: Florida, Michigan State, Oklahoma State, Duke

Jay Williams: Florida, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Louisville

Dick Vitale: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Louisville

Clark Kellogg: Florida, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Wichita State

Seth Davis: Florida, Michigan State, Wisconsin, Wichita State

Doug Gottlieb: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Louisville

Gary Parrish: Kansas, Michigan State, Creighton, Wichita State

Matt Norlander: Kansas, Michigan State, Creighton, Duke

Gregg Doyel: Kansas, Iowa State, Arizona, Ronda Rousey Michigan

Jerry Palm: Kansas, Michigan State, Arizona, Michigan

Jeff Borzello: Florida, Iowa State, Arizona, Louisville

Dennis Dodd: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Louisville

Reid Forgrave: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Wichita State

Brian Hamilton: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Duke

Luke Winn: Florida, Michigan State, Arizona, Wichita State

Pete Thamel: Florida, Virginia, Arizona, Louisville

C.J. Moore: Florida, Michigan State, Baylor, Louisville

The Five Thirty Eight: Florida, Michigan State/Virginia (tie), Arizona, Louisville

Me: Florida, Virginia, Wisconsin, Wichita State

2. American Movie

I would’ve loved to attend a private screening of this film with Martin Scorcese, wouldn’t you?

I had a wonderful movie date on Saturday night: my mom.

Phyllis and I went to see “American Hustle”, a plan that was nearly sabotaged before it began by the potty-mouth trailer for that new Jason Bateman film about a 40 year-old entering a spelling bee. Somehow, we survived that moment and watched all two hours and nine minutes of the David O. Russell film.

Here’s Phyllis’ one-word review: “Contrived.”

I fully concur. It was as if Russell got a “Goodfellas” paint-by-numbers kit for Christmas and couldn’t wait to deploy it. A few specific problems: A) Too many relationships between characters, none of which were given enough time to marinate so that we actually cared about them B) I never bought Jennifer Lawrence as a 30-plus Long Island housewife and I never really bought Bradley Cooper, either C) A lot of attempts at showy scenes that had no ballast behind them: the opening scene with Irving’s comb-over, the dance-as-you-clean scene with Lawrence D) Seriously little chemistry between the actors E) Flat dialogue.

What was good? Jeremy Renner was outstanding. So was Amy Adams. The one scene with Robert DeNiro was the best moment in the entire movie. But did this flick deserve nine Oscar nominations? No, not even close.

3. David Brenner, R.I.P.

If you are of a certain age, you got home from school in the early to mid-Seventies and tuned in to The Mike Douglas Show. It was a celebrity talk show with two important differences from today’s versions: 1) it originated from Philadelphia and 2) it aired in the afternoons.

One of the most frequent and beloved guests was David Brenner, a comedian who was Jerry Seinfeld before Seinfeld was: East Coast, Jewish, intensely likeable, funny but never cruel or profane.

Brenner, a Philly native and easily the greatest of the feathered-hair comedians, also appeared on Johnny Carson’s show 158 times, which is a record, and guest-hosted it 75 times. He died of cancer this weekend at the age of 78.

Brenner was the Andy Pettitte of comics. Not quite an elite all-timer, but certainly someone whose track record almost everyone would love to emulate.

4. Crimea River

Crimea: geographically, it’s a growth that Putin is trying to remove.

I don’t even have anything insightful to add about Russia’s invasion of this peninsula, but 1) when has that ever stopped me? and 2) I just wanted to use this headline.

5. Media, Darlings

Apropos of nothing, Stana Katic. She’s Canadian and no NYPD detective has ever looked like her.

So, Pete Vecsey tells Jeff Pearlman that he cannot understand why Bill Simmons is successful (um, because he’s so damn entertaining to read?) while Charles Barkley tells Richard Deitsch that some of the CBS college basketball crew are “jerkoffs” without naming names.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Wlie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

Ed Delahanty

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF

1976

Jack Pfiester, P; 1903-1911, Chicago Cubs, Pittsburgh Pirates

Though not a Hall of Famer due to only eight years of service, Pfiester has the third-lowest E.R.A. of all-time (2.02) among pitchers who have tossed at least 1,000 innings. In 1908 Pfiester (71-44), who stood just 5-11, pitched a complete game with a dislocated tendon and afterward had the arm reset by a guy named Bonesetter Reese. Those were far more colorful times.

Johnny Mize

Johnny Mize, 1B; 1936-1953, Cardinals, Giants, Yankees

The Big Cat manned first base for a Yankee team that won five consecutive World Series at the end of his career, but he also had a .312 lifetime batting average and is No. 16 all-time in slugging percentage (.562). A 10-time All-Star who had four seasons in which he batted above .333, Mize lost three years in the prime of his career to World War II service.

STARTING FIVE

John Junker and Charlie Weis, in better days for both.

1. For All The Tostitos

John Junker gets time.

Junker, the erstwhile Grand Poobah of the Fiesta Bowl, was sentenced yesterday to serve eight months in a minimum-security federal prison in Safford, Arizona.

By this time yesterday Doug MacEachern of the Arizona Republic had penned an editorial saying that he hoped Junker would not be sentenced to do any time.

“What he did may have been bad, but he’s not George Soros,” wrote MacEachern. “He’s not David Koch. And he has been punished already. A lot.”

Even if we restrict ourselves solely to the crimes Junker was found guilty of –illegal campaign-finance conspiracy–, you have to understand what was transpiring here. Employees were basically being bullied to contribute to politicians. These employees understood that there are plenty of people who would love to work in sports, would love their jobs. Yes, the employees were reimbursed, but Junker was abusing his power both to corrupt his employees and, of course, to bribe politicians. It’s the most nefarious type of crime, from a man who had everything.

I hope Junker realizes that, in the long run, serving time will actually help him. If he is as truly contrite as he has attempted to portray himself, he will accept this punishment.

2. The Sharper Image

Sharper is a former Pro Bowl-level player.

If you are keeping score –and I admit the scorecard is beginning to look cluttered — former NFL safety (Ha!) Darren Sharper has now been charged with date-raping nine women in five states:

Arizona: two

California: two

Louisiana: two

Nevada: two

Florida: one

Is it just me or has this story been relatively buried in the past month? This is an alleged serial rapist who was working at the NFL Network not long ago.

3. Lunardi Eclipse

Her name is Samantha Hoopes and she hails from Doylestown, Pa., which is close enough to Joey Brackets and Drexel Hill, Pa.

Do you know Joe Lunardi? Where he comes from, how he became ESPN’s Mel Kiper of the NCAA tournament?

Neither did I.

Turns out Lunardi is a St. Joseph’s University alumnus (“The Hawk will never die”) who works (worked?) as the school’s assistant VP of Marketing Communications (Joe, you MUST know my old friend and roommate Marty Farrell, no?) and does color commentary on the Hawks broadcasts. In 2008 and last year he correctly predicted every tournament team, while nailing 63 of 65 in 2009 and 64 of 65 in 2010.

4. Chu Get What You Play For

“He was Jeopardy’s real-life version of Sean Connery.” “Who is Arthur Chu?”

When National Public Radio (NPR) devotes time to a Jeopardy! contestant, you know that he has crossed some pop culture boundaries. Arthur Chu, who won nearly $300,000 in eleven straight episodes, finally was deposed earlier this week (the show was taped last November, so Chu was hardly surprised). A polarizing figure who finished No. 3 all-time in winnings ($297,000) on the Trebek-athon, Chu figured out a better mousetrap for how to be successful at the long-running game show: he skipped around categories.

Honestly, I’m barely smart enough to keep up with “Wheel of Fortune” (I’d like to buy a diphthong?), but whatever Chu did worked. Can’t fault him for that.

5. Moose Hunter Bagged

Why would anyone murder this guy? Let ’em live.

So, the moose hunter who happened upon Chris McCandless’ lifeless body all those years ago, Gordon Samel, was shot dead by police in Wasilla, Alaska, yesterday following a high-speed chase. Samel, 52, supposedly suffered from bipolar disorder and was backing his car toward police after they finally had cornered him. It was Samel’s discovery of McCandless that lit the spark for Jonathan Krakauer’s cult-classic book, “Into The Wild.”

Reserves

Heroes of the Cookoutateria

So, the Cookoutateria –not t

o be confused with the Steakateria — is one of the two restaurants that was kind enough to employ me during one of my frequent involuntary sabbaticals from journalism. Just from last summer’s staff we had a second-year medical student at NYU and my friend Chris, who “moonlights” as the managing director of an NYC hedge fund. Here’s Chris’ contribution to the blog (“I’m smaht, Sonny! I’m smaht!”)

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Our good friend and occasional IAH! writer Gene, a.k.a. @okerland, noted that schools with at ” -ut” in their title lost yesterday by 12 (UTEP), 32 (Utah), 34 (Utah State) and 61 (Rutgers).

The actual UT, Texas, won by 17.

***

We’ll come back next week with “The Hall” and “Remote Patrol.” Been sort of a busy week here. Thanks.

STARTING FIVE

He’s come a ways since Scholastic Sports America

1. Chris Almighty

ESPN blinked.

Host Chris Fowler is the patriarch of ESPN College GameDay (born on Nov. 13, 1993, for all intents and purposes, in the second floor foyer of the Joyce Athletic & Convocation Center at Notre Dame; Notre Dame 31, Florida State 24).

Broadcaster Brent Musburger is the most enjoyable listen in sports (at least for me) and he has more years left in the tank than, say, Kobe has with the Lakers.

But Fowler’s contract is up, the SEC Network is launching, and he wanted to deploy his leverage. Can’t blame him for that. So Fowler, 51, wins while Musburger, 75, loses.

I suppose Brent can blame this on Jesse Palmer.

Commemorating the first time GameDay did a remote.

As Jason McIntyre writes, and I second, Fowler is born for the job he does on Saturday mornings. But, as a presence in the booth, he is coolly professional. He’s never going to be Brent or Vin Scully or even Joe Tessitore and if you’ve spent any time around Chris –and, trust me, I have — he’s very polished and prepared but he is also very guarded (you probably didn’t even know that he is married to a former ESPN Body Shaper, do you?). He likes to look good, both physically and image-wise.

The best thing about this is that Fowler and Herbie have been partners in crime for more than 15 years. They’re close friends. The rapport will be natural.

The three worst things: 1) the fallout for Rece Davis, as Fowler not only keeps the Saturday a.m. gig but adds Saturday night. I’m one of those who’d rather see Rece get at least one of those gigs. He’s dynamite. 2) What happens if there’s heavy weather and ESPN does Game Day 1,500 miles or so from its prime-time game (or will that practice end)? 3) the interviews with Marshall Mathers will not be as colorful.

2. Do That Again?

John John Florence’s 360 >>> Anderson Cooper 360

I cannot even stand up on a board, so I’m no judge of the magnificence of surfing tricks. But this has all the elements of gnarl. The executor of said trick is John John Florence, 20, of Hawaii, though it was performed in Bali.

3. The Los Angeles Blakers

Griffin: Punched by P.J. Tucker on Tuesday night, confronted outside the locker room by Jermaine O’Neal last night.

The Los Angeles Clippers have won nine in a row. Listening to ESPN Radio in LA this a.m. and the past hour has been devoted exclusively to Kobe’s presser yesterday and what the Lakers should do (lure Melo [Car, not Fab]? Fire D’Antoni? Add more Laker Girls?) for 2014-15. For me, Kobe’s annoyance at the team’s prospects begins and ends with the two-year, $48 million contract he signed earlier this year.

Sure, if Jim Buss wants to go Teddy KGB (“Pay that man his money”) on Kobe, fine. But that certainly limits the Lakers’ chances of building a team around him next season. Oh, and as long as you can only play with one basketball per possession, why would LA want Melo? Dwight Howard was actually a terrific complement; it’s just that he was miserable.

What we love about Kobe –and what makes him great –his alpha doggyness, his insatiable appetite for competition — is what will also prevent him from matching Michael Jordan’s sum of six rings. There’s a team in L.A. that could win the NBA Finals in the next three years–but it’s not the Lakers.

Oops, I just did the same thing: mentioned the Clips and then bloviated on and on about the Lakers. Sorry.

4. Virile Videos

Not a single Grace Kelly film made Esquire’s list. I don’t mind staring at Gene Hackman once in awhile, but a little balance, please.

So, we love lists, you love lists, and Esquire has released its list of “75 Movies Every Man Should See.”

Sure, I’ll watch. Will you run all of them on the Esquire Network marathon?

I’ll label this a “Ridiculist.” Why? Because how can you devise a list of films every man should see and not include these 20 films…

1. Apocalypse Now

2. The Shawshank Redemption.

3. Goodfellas

4. Pulp Fiction

5. Rocky

They did not make Esquire’s list, even if one or two of them have probably made Esquire’s cover.

6. Diner

7. After Hours

8. Saving Private Ryan

9. Fandango

10. Animal House

11. A Few Good Men

12. Nobody’s Fool

13. Almost Famous

14. High Noon

15. Point Break

16. Braveheart

17. Mr. Roberts

18. Groundhog Day

19. Good Will Hunting

20. The Godfather II

Hey, there are some wonderful choices on the list: “Blazing Saddles”, “The Conversation” and “Broadcast News” to name a few. Also, I realize that they often tried to cover multiple bases with one film, so only one James Bond film, only one Godfather, etc. But I’d have put, minimum, six of the above on the list. And I understand that some of the choices are obvious; there’s a reason for that.

Your thoughts….?

5. Leave it to a Stanford Undergrad…

Aude

…To come up with the most plausible theory thus far on why Flight 370 went missing and remains missing. He could be a Hersman Trophy winner for Aviation, or at least an early leading candidate.

Andrew Aude is the Cardinal who proposed the theory, which has gone viral. Aude then turned down an offer of $3 billion from some V.C. sharks simply out of force of habit.

STARTING FIVE

Golden Tate and Megatron on either side of you. Don’t mess it up, Stafford.

1. Aqib To Leave

Free agent signing day launched yesterday! Golden Tate is now a Lion (so hear him ro-oar!). Jonathan Martin has moved from South Beach to the South Bay. Aqib Talib, last seen being taken out on a pick play in the AFC Championship Game against the Denver Broncos, is joining the Denver Broncos. So is Dallas Cowboy sack-master DeMarcus Ware. The Alicia Sacramones scooped up the Brady Quinns. Oh, and Darren Sharper just got charged for two more felony counts of rape. Is Darren Sharper the Yellow King?

2. New Frontiers

This wasn’t my idea, but I endorse it: Katherine Webb, SEC Network sideline reporter.

So ESPN announces that Brent Musburger is officially out as Mr. Saturday Night in college football and instead will be the lead voice on its fledgling SEC Network. Meanwhile, Rick Reilly announces that he’s going to stop typing for a living (because that’s hard) and just talk on camera (because that’s easy). I’m a huge fan of both men and am pleased that I’ve been able to have a beer or three with both of them.

As for Brent, this ONLY happens because ESPN wants to keep Chris Fowler happy –and, trust me, Chris, besides being very talented, has somewhat of a low boiling point. As for Riles, he has more than earned this sunset. Though, it is funny that the SI writer he has always claimed to revere, the legendary Dan Jenkins, is 84 years old and is about to release his “semi-memoirs.”

Hoping that Riles is only on a sabbatical…

3. Is the SI Cover Racist?

If it’s all white, it’s alright.

So, yes, I love this week’s SI cover, too. But there’s something very convenient about 1) forward on a Midwest team (check) 2) an all-time, top-ten prolific scorer (check) 3) team is having its best season (check) 4) uniform is a shade of blue (check) and 5) dude is a shade of white (Czech?). You’d never have seen this cover for, say, Hersey Hawkins, even though, like Doug McDermott, he scored more career points than Larry Bird and, also like McDermott, he scored almost all of them in the Missouri Valley Conference –the same one in which Bird’s Indiana State plays (yes, I know, Dougie is in the Big East this season).

Anyway, read the story because it’s by Luke Winn and no one is more passionate about covering his sport than Luke is.

4. Sins of the Father

Kustok entering court room on Monday

I’ve never met Sarah Kustok, but she seems like a super person. A former DePaul basketball player, she is now a sideline reporter for the YES Network based in New York City. You may know her older brother, Zak, better. He was the starting quarterback at Northwestern.

Yesterday their father, Allan Kustok, was found guilty of murdering his wife of 34 years and their mother, Jeanie. The jury found Allan guilty of shooting her in the head while she slept in their bedroom in September of 2010. It’s been a difficult week for the children, as Sarah took the stand on Monday in her father’s defense while Zak’s wife, her sister-in-law, took the stand as a witness for the state.

You have to admire Sarah’s loyalty. She took the stand for 45 minutes and testified that she still speaks with her father several times per week, but never about the case. Sarah told the court that only after her mother’s death did she learn of her father’s multiple extra-marital affairs and that “I don’t condone it, I’m not okay with that, no, but it doesn’t change my opinion (that he is innocent.”

Of her deceased mother, to whom she used to also speak or text several times daily, Sarah said, “She was always a mother first, but she was also my very best friend.”

Heartbreaking.

5. An Hour With Bill Murray

Bill Murray talks to Charlie Rose. Does not wear a Peter Pan outfit. I’m in.

Reserves

Kobe Bryant is out for the year, but he hasn’t lost his ability to nail a shot. On the demolition the Lakers suffered at the hands of their co-tenants last week, Kobe said, “Now I know how it must feel to be a Clipper fans for all those years.”

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Molly Lambert at Grantland tells us that you shouldn’t have been disappointed in the “True Detective” finale. I don’t know why she published her email to Andy Greenwald, do you?