STARTING FIVE

“Congratu–….oh, never mind.”

1. Frozen

“Do you believe in soul-crushing losses that will haunt you for the rest of your lives? YES!”

Canada-USA, women’s hockey, gold-medal match. The Canadians entered having won the past three gold medals in this event dating back to Salt Lake City in 2002. But, with less than four minutes to play the U.S. led 2-0. Then it was 2-1 late when the US slapped a 3/4-rink shot at Canada’s empty net that —-oooooohhhh!–jus ricocheted off the left post. But, who cares, the American lasses were still up 2-1 at that point.

Then…uh-oh. Canada scores with :54 left to tie it up. Then, in overtime, the U.S. is late on a substitution, which leads to a Canadian breakaway, which leads to a penalty, which leads to a power play on which the Canucks score the decisive goal.

Jerry Seinfeld’s riff on not wanting to win silver has never been more applicable.

2. “The New York Knicks: A Tragic Misstep in Evolution”

James Dolan: The King in Yellow

This piece from Grantland is satire executed to perfection. I read “True Knicks Detective“, loved it, then spent the next six hours kicking myself for not having thought of it. Well done, Netw3rk. Take a bow.

3. “And You May Contribute a Verse…”

Step away from your cubicle, this video seems to be saying. A wonderful sermon on what it’s all about, with what I believe are the Cliffs of Moher –or somewhere that resembles it– in the background. Your narrator is Mickey Smith. Well worth your time. This video is not as worthy of your time, but the hypnotic beat and quick cuts kept my attention for far longer than I thought it would.

4. “Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks….”

Dr. K? Irving rocked the All-Star Game.

No longer are they the Cadaverliers. On February 6 Cleveland, one day after losing at home to the LOLakers and losers of six straight, fired general manager Chris Grant. The guy who signed Andrew Bynum. The guy who made Anthony Bennett the No. 1 overall pick in last June’s NBA draft.

Honestly, do you ever wonder how people such as Grant land these gigs while you and I do not?

Anyway, since that day, when the Cavs were a moribund 16-33, they are 6-0. Cleveland owns the NBA’s longest win streak and are only three games out of a playoff spot. Also, Cav poin guard Kryie Irving was named MVP of the NBA All-Star Game.

I don’t understand it, either, but it is happening. And I think we are all just hoping the Cavs finish in the 7th or 8th spot and meet Miami in the first round of the playoffs.

5. Farewell (For Now), Matt

This is NOT Matt Taibbi, but rather Carolyn Murphy at the SI Swimsuit Legends shoot. The staff of Medium Happy regrets the error.

America’s hands-down best, most important, pissed-off journalist, Matt Taibbi, is leaving Rolling Stone for his own independent venture. The man who once had the temerity to refer to Goldman Sachs as “great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money”, is flying off from Jann Wenner’s nest to run his own publication focused on financial and political corruption.

I prefer my badass muckraking to sprinkled with some bikini shots of Rihanna in Barbados along with a 5-star review of Bob Dylan’s latest burp, but that’s just me, I’m from Texas.

Reserves

No, that is not Iulia Lipnitskaya in disguise

A goalie for the minor league Allen Americans, Mark Guggenberger, is suspended and fined after tripping the opposing team’s mascot. Or is that referred to as “slew-footing?” Either way, that’s not nice.

***
The Broadway musical “Bronx Bombers” will close after a one-month run. “Bombers Bombs” the New York Post headline should read. So, it’s no Damn Yankees. Gotta love a show about the Yanks whose run is shorter than Derek Jeter’s retirement lap season.

***

In an Alabama girls high school basketball state championship game, top-ranked Glenwood took a 3-1 lead into halftime versus No. 2 Lee-Scott, then ran away in the second half for a 15-2 victory. Tom Green has your story. The game featured just two field goals and none by Lee-Scott, whose coach, Chad Prewett, elected to freeze the ball after having lost thrice earlier in the season to Glenwood.

*****

CORNUTOPIA: A piece on hoops in the heartland this season…

****

Science says that we’ve already had the time of our lives. I bet Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes would agree….

*****

Matt Lauer picks low-hanging fruit at colleague Bob Costas’ expense. On the one hand, you salute Costas for taking the dig as well as he did. On the other, you figure Lauer, whose sleep schedule must’ve been royally screwed by pulling double duty on Today and for NBC primetime last week, earned the right to take a shot.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B; 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

Honus Wagner

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P

1965:

Ralph Kiner, 1B/LF; 1946-1955, Pittsburgh Pirates, 2 others

A genuine slugger, and one of the more well-liked players (and broadcasters) ever to grace a diamond, Kiner led the National League in home runs in each of his first seven seasons. He topped the 50-homer mark twice, the first National Leaguer to do so. A back injury abbreviated his career so that his career total is only 369, or an average of 36.9 per season. Kiner, who died earlier this month at the age of 91, was a U.S. Navy pilot in World War II. He enlisted voluntarily the day after Pearl Harbor.

Robert Moses “Lefty” Grove, P; 1925-1941, Philadelphia A’s, Boston Red Sox

So popular that they named a shopping mall in downtown Los Angeles after him.

One of two pitchers who won exactly 300 games (the other, Early Wynn), Grove’s career record of 300-141 is complemented by his having led the American League in strikeouts in each of his first seven seasons. An eight-time 20-game winner, Grove led the A.L. in ERA in nine different seasons. Between 1928-1931, Grove was absolutely dominant, with a 103-23 record. Among 300-game winners, Grove’s .680 winning percentage is tops.

Remote Patrol

The Tonight Show

NBC 11:30 p.m.

One and only one guest will appear on the first Friday of host Jimmy Fallon’s tenure: BPF –that’s “Best Performing Friend”– Justin Timberlake. History of Rap 5, anyone?

STARTING FIVE

Jan Koum: He feels like a billion (or more like 9 billion) dollars today.

 1. What’s App’ening!

Scores of people in the Bay Area, the nation’s wealthiest region, became wealthy or wealthier yesterday. First, the owner(s) of a single ticket purchased in the town of Milpitas, which sits at the base of San Francisco Bay, will claim the $425 million Powerball lottery prize, the sixth-largest such jackpot in history. A little farther up the 101 in Mountain View, a college dropout named Jan Koum and his partner Brian Acton sold their start-up, What’s App, to Facebook for $19 BILLION.

The company only earned $20 million last year but suddenly, thanks to Mark Zuckerberg’s munificence, it is worth more than 47% of the companies in the S&P 500. Koum, a Ukrainian immigrant, signed the deal with Facebook –a company that once turned him down for the job– on the door of a government building where he once stood on line for food stamps.

You cannot make this stuff up.

2. Syracluse

I doubt we’ll be seeing this uniform combo again.

The orange tops and blue trunks were a bad look for the nation’s No. 1 and undefeated team at home. A worse look? Losing to Boston College, which had already lost twice this month to Notre Dame and had just two conference wins. When Patric Young, the Florida center whose own No.2 team survived a brush with disaster versus Auburn last night, heard who had spoiled Syracuse’s perfect season, he put it succinctly: “Boston College? They suck.”

It was a terrific win for the Eagles, of course, made sweeter after the loss of a family member of sorts: longtime sports information director Dick Kelley, who had been suffering from ALS, died over the weekend. The team attended his wake just two days earlier.

3. The Russian Drill Bit

Lipnitskaya’s influences? Katerina Witt and Gumby.

Iulia Lipnitskaya, the 15 year-old Russian skating prodigy who is Olympic-eligible by only 26 days, bit it on her final jump of the ladies’ short program on Wednesday, putting her in fifth place. She may not medal, but if you have not seen Lipnitskaya skate, it’s a phenomenon of human axis-spinning. Only the Tasmanian Devil spins faster than she does. Watch (near the end of the program).

4. Rice Capades

NFL Concussions: Why should players have all the fun?

Baltimore Raven running back Ray Rice allegedly hits his fiancée with an open hand and knocks her out cold. Video shows Rice dragging her out of an elevator at an Atlantic City casino. But at least he isn’t gay, right?

5. Hashtag You’re It

You do a hashtag bit referencing “Friends” and fail to note there was an actual character named Tag??? HashtagTag.

I’ll stop posting Jimmy Fallon items and videos as soon as he stops doing stuff worth sharing with you. Fallon’s Tonight Show isn’t a talk show and it’s barely a variety show. It’s more of a “Can Celebrities 1-3 Come Over To My House and Play?” Last night Fallon played charades with Oscar nominees Bradley Cooper and Emma Thompson and Taylor Swift’s original candy crush, Tim McGraw, but the better segment was his Hashtag bit (something he’s done before with Justin Timberlake) with yet another Oscar nominee, Jonah Hill.

Not sure whose idea it was to have Cooper give Fallon the Chrysler Building piece as a gift. Anyone who’d watched the first two shows knew it had already been there. Hashtag falling flat.

Reserves

I do hope the text was from Dyan Cannon.

Perfect moment in the Lakers-Rockets game last night. Just as Mike Breen and Jeff Van Gundy were noting that the talent-bereft Lakers still play hard night in and night out, ESPN’s cameras caught Swaggy P, in dress clothes on the bench, checking his smart phone for messages. Thank you.

Oh, and last night ESPN had Rockets-Lakers, a 26-point blowout, instead of Spurs over Trail Blazers by two in Portland. Tomorrow night ESPN has Celtics-Lakers instead of Spurs at Suns.

Someone, anyone at ESPN: We get it, LA is an iconic franchise. But they’re HORRIBLE this season. And it’s not going to get better. Please move on.

****
Kudos to Pablo S. Torre for sitting in and hosting Olbermann (“This is Olbermann…I’m not Olbermann”) and doing a terrific job.

***

Sather Nielsen is a former UCLA volleyball player and current Bruin grad assistant.

That’s Kaitlin Sather-Nielsen on the cover of the current issue of Runner’s World. Sather Nielsen is not a runner per se, but rather a former Honorable Mention All-American volleyball player (and high jumper) at UCLA.

****

Pretty cool Saturday for middle-distance prodigy Mary Cain. On a snowy New York day, Cain won the mile at the Millrose Games, which took place at the intimate New York Armory in Harlem (picture the NBA All-Star Game taking place at Hinkle Fieldhouse and… WAIT A MINUTE, that’s a great idea!), which is situated directly across 167th Street from Columbia Presbyterian, the hospital where her dad works as an anesthesiologist.

Coburn Notice

Personal note: As I was walking from subway to Armory entrance, I came upon three young women in unbelievable shape running past me. They all looked Scandinavian. This is not something you ordinarily see in Harlem. Turns out they were entrants in the mile (Emma Coburn and others) who were warming up. There was nowhere to warm up indoors.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B; 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF

1964:

Jake Beckley, 1B; 1888-1907, 6 teams, Pittsburgh Pirates

Besides a career batting average of .309 with 2,934 hits (34th all-time) and 1,578 RBI (40th all-time), “Eagle Eye” was a cunning fielder. After failing to fool Honus Wagner with the hidden-ball trick, he waited until later in the season and got the better of Wagner. How? By using TWO baseballs! Genius.

Rube Waddell, P; 1897-1910, 6 teams, Philadelphia A’s

Waddell, an alcoholic, died at the age of 37

From 1902-1907, all with the A’s, Waddell led the National League in strikeouts while also being a 20-game winner in four of those seasons. A true character, Waddell wrestled alligators in the off-season and reportedly spent his entire first signing bonus on a drinking binge, leading one publication to refer to him as a “sousepaw.” Still, on the all-time lists, he ranks 10th in ERA (2.16), 18th in WHIP (1.102) and 19th in shutouts (50).

Remote Patrol

Sochi Olympics

NBC 8 p.m.

The finals of the ladies’ figure skating. Our favorite Amy Adams doppelganger, Ashley Wagner (a stage name if I ever heard one), will perform both on ice and in the kiss-and-cry area.

STARTING FIVE

Alex will sit the rest of the Olympics out.

 1. Do You Believe in Gulags? YES!

Russia, your Olympic hosts, were bent on revenge against Team USA in hockey, meeting them on home ice in an Olympics for the first time since the upset in Lake Placid in 1980. Instead, they lost last Saturday in shootout thanks to an unmoored goal –and, perhaps, to an assiduous-to-a-fault referee. And then they lost earlier today to Finland, which means that the Russians, with arguably the world’s greatest current hockey player, Alex Ovechkin, on their side, will not even advance to the medal round.

Russian coach Zinetula Bilyaletdinov, who was a defenseman on that 1980 Russian squad, was understandably out of sorts after Thursday’s defeat. A snippet of his exchange with reporters, per The Wall Street Journal:

Q: What future, if any, do you see for your own work and for your coaching staff? Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics—

A: Well then, eat me alive right now—

Q: No, I mean—

A: Eat me, and I won’t be here anymore.

Q: But we have the world championship coming up!

A: Well then, there will be a different coach because I won’t exist any more, since you will have eaten me.’

Suddenly, I’m not hungry.

2. Schwing! Set

Cheese, Danish: Nina Agdal

For its 50th anniversary Swimsuit Issue, Sports Illustrated invited the winners of the “Second Half, 20th Century Gene Pool Lottery”, i.e., its former cover models, to assemble in one room for an historic shoot. Here’s video (“She was a long, cool woman in a black dress...”). In a roomful of stunners, Carolyn Murphy and Bar Refaeli stand out for me, but…your mileage may vary.

3. Rap-Time Gals

Now let’s move from rap to heavy metal…

It’s a brilliant idea –sing rap and hip-hop songs, often containing sexually explicit lyrics, as a barbershop quartet. Jimmy Fallon had done it before but last night the “Ragtime Gals” made their Tonight Show debut. Here’s the video. Jerry Seinfeld became the first comedian to do stand-up in the Fallon era, and while his bit on cellphones was good, his rant on the couch about coddled children was even better. Seinfeld referenced a “stuffed-animal semi-circle of emotional support” on his children’s beds and wondered why every bedtime had to be a “royal jubilee coronation.”

Seinfeld also had a great term for being the Tonight Show host: “It’s a ‘pope job’. It’s a job you have until you die.”

The most dramatic difference between Fallon and everyone else (Kimmel, Letterman, Leno, Conan, etc.) is that he’s a performer first. Can you imagine Letterman being part of a barbershop quartet? Never. Not even to send up the entire construct. Fallon throws himself into musical bits and he’s actually quite good. Studio 6B is his basement playroom, except the pay is far better.

4. Bode Language

“You’re sad?!? I wasn’t asked to appear in this year’s SI Swimsuit issue.”

By now it’s clear that Christin Cooper’s post-race interview with American skier Bode Miller has overshadowed Miller’s bronze-medal effort itself. Might I suggest that it’s on the Mount Rushmore of Sochi Olympic moments? (Here, I’ve got a vomit bucket right here). Former SI scribe Jeff Pearlman suggests that parts of the interview were staged, though he does not name his source. I’m 98% certain that nothing about Miller’s emotions were disingenuous, but Pearlman does make a fine point about lovely Morgan Miller, Bode’s wife, being allowed into the Mixed Zone. Did she technically become credentialed media after NBC kept mic’ing her up during races?

Then there’s Keith Olbermann, who is media-astute and highly intelligent, but also possessed of the world’s largest blind spot. Olbermann rips Cooper and the media in general for playing up death in Olympic stories, and that’s fair.

“It’s interesting when people die/Give us dirty laundry,” as Don Henley once crooned.

“I’m mad as hell–unless you work for Disney.”

Of course, television’s worst offender of the Overly Maudlin Feature is ESPN’s own Tom Rinaldi, whose frequent descents into death and debilitating illness inspired its own Spencer Hall blog post (that’s when you KNOW you’ve made it). Would or has Olbermann ever criticize Rinaldi or any other ESPN on-air personality on his show? And if he did, would he ever pursue it with the rabid zeal with which he went after Cooper?

That blind spot is what prevents a solid program from being terrific. Olbermann fashions himself as a latter-day Howard Beale for sports media, except that he has cut a deal with the devil (i.e., Norby….Norby is a euphemism for all Bristol suits) that he’ll never bite the WWL that feeds. Which is sort of like fashioning yourself as the world’s leading zoologist but you’re never allowed to visit the Amazon. Or Africa. (I’m not sure which one of those is the ESPN2 of zoology).

So, rant on, Keith. But every time you do, please have a flashing sign, like in one of those old Crazy Eddie ads, that reads “Unable To Criticize ESPN” on the screen as you do.

5. How I Met Your Top Ten List

Also performing on this show: John Legen…wait for it…d.

The cast of HIMYM appears on Letterman and reads a list of “Top 10 Surprises in the Final Episode.” No. 5 is a gem, but it felt as if they missed a real opportunity here by not using some variation of “I marry Rachel just before she moves to Paris.”

Also, “spies” tell us that HIMYM’s entire cast will be taping an episode of “Inside the Actor’s Studio” to discuss “the craft” of sitcommery.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B

1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P

1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P

1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul

1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF

1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P

1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B

1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C

1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B

1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B

1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B

1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P

1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C

1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF

1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF

1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P

1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P

1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF

1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF

1963:

Jackie Robinson, 2B; 1947-1956, Brooklyn Dodgers

Even if he had not broken baseball’s  “color line” on April 15, 1947 at the age of 28, Robinson’s career is Hall-worthy. A lifetime .311 hitter, No. 42 was baseball’s inaugural Rookie of the Year in 1947 and was the National League MVP in 1949. He also stole home 19 times in his career, and none of those came on a double steal.

Zack Wheat, LF; 1909-1927, Brooklyn Superbas/Dodgers/Robins

Missed out on a lucrative endorsement deal for Wheat Thins.

The son of a full-blood Cherokee woman, Wheat had three consecutive seasons of batting .359 or better and retired with a .317 average and 2,884 career hits. While so many other Dodgers (including the one above) are more acclaimed, it is Wheat who still holds the franchise records for hits, doubles, triples and total bases.

STARTING FIVE

The Chysler Building gets big play on the new set. As does, by extension, the borough of Queens.

1. Top Jimmy*

After nearly 45 years in exile in Burbank, The Tonight Show returned to New York City last night with new host Jimmy Fallon. It’s now Jimmy Fallon versus Jimmy Kimmel for the foreseeable future in late-night, as my beloved David Letterman should probably pull a Derek Jeter soon.

I wrote about the premiere episode this morning, but allow me to reemphasize how much work Fallon needs as an interviewer. A suggestion: watch clips of old Carson interviews to learn timing. Johnny never worried about waiting a beat for his guest to respond. An interlude of silence, even for a second or two, never detracted from the moment. In fact, sometimes the silence and Carson’s allowing it to get just a tad uncomfortable for the guest WAS the moment.

The Master

It’s something that Fallon, and Conan O’Brien as well, have never appeared to understand.

Also, interesting how Will Smith noted that Fallon genuinely wants to make people happy, that he is nice, and I agree. But then in the next segment with U2 Fallon, more out of nervousness than wickedness, told Bono that he could give a great speech about anything and asked him to speak about a coffee cup. He didn’t realize it in the moment, but it was patronizing. It was belittling all the causes that Bono feels so passionately about. And, in a brief moment of candor, Bono said, “Well, that’s not nice.”

As @nd_fredo noted, this was Fallon telling Bono to “sell me this pen.”

But, because Bono is Bono and not an ass, he gave it a shot. You could tell that he didn’t want to do it. I don’t think that moment was staged. It was Fallon’s big miss on an otherwise terrific opening night.

*The judges would also accept “Jimmy Thing.”

2. Eye-o-See

Welcome back, Bob!

NBC’s Olympics host Bob Costas’ eyes clear up just as Sochi turns foggy. Coincidence? I think not.

3. Unbroken

Angelina and Louie

My favorite read of the past few years is Laura Hillenbrand’s Unbroken, the true tale of Louis Zamperini. If you don’t already know his story, Zamperini ran in the 1936 Olympics, met Hitler, then had his plane shot down during World War II and survived with a buddy for 43 days in the Pacific Ocean. And then things really got hairy.

Zamperini, a USC alum, is still alive and there’s a great photo of him snuggling with the director of the film that is being released based on the book, Angelina Jolie. So, yes, he really did have something to live for. Fight on!

Here’s a trailer/video that made its debut during NBC’s Olympics coverage on Sunday evening.

4. The Devil and Marty Hart

Let’s get past the obvious pun: Marty Hart and Mardi Gras. Not that “Hart” and “Gras”, which means fat, are related, but I wondered if that’s where Louisiana bayou native Nic Pizzolatto drew the inspiration for the detective’s name. True Detective is a can’t-put-it-down novel played out over eight –really, nine-Sunday evenings. And Pizzolatto enjoys layering his story with clues and potential red herrings. We’re five episodes through and anyone who tells you that they know how this is going to end is fooling themselves.

Consider Hart: He’s the one guy I was sure is innocent (and I still believe he is). But the modern detectives are chasing Cohle. But, as a Twitter follower, @keepsbreakndown, noticed, Marty has twice sabotaged chances Rust had to collect more evidence: first, when he called him to the police car to inform him about Reggie LeDoux, which prevented Cohle from entering the school. And second, when he shot Ledoux in the head, thereby pulling a Jack Ruby.

And you can make a case that Marty hates prostitutes: see how he hands a minor a large bill and tells her, “Do something different.” (or maybe he just bet her that she’d never host The Tonight Show). Also, Marty has twice had the opportunity to hand the case to the task force but he’d rather keep it with him and Rust.

On the other hand, it was Marty who found the church at the end of Episode 2. And even in both moments when he sabotaged Cohle’s chances, we are led to believe that he honestly had no guile about his actions.

Listen, this show is a masterpiece. So much texture here. Every moment develops or reveals character. Like when Rust asks Marty if he has ever hunted. Marty answers affirmatively, and then Rust demeans Marty’s version of hunting (“sitting in a tree blind as your bait lures the deer”) to real hunting, tracking game. And Marty calls him an asshole. Note how far we’ve come: Marty may still not appreciate Rust’s lack of tact, but he has come to accept that he is in the presence of a superior detective, if not person.

And then there’s the cinematography by Adam Arkapaw: the cobalt-blue bayou at night as Marty drives to the rave. The reflection of Cohle in the window as he walks out on Maggie in the diner. The angry gray sky behind Rust as he revisits the scene of the murder seven years later. It’s all brilliant.

My guess, and that’s all it is: Rust’s burnout mode is itself a cover. He thinks he knows how far up these ritual killings go and he’s decided to go rogue. Are he and Marty still in communication? After all, Marty only owes him his career and avoiding a murder charge. If so, then Cohle would have briefed Marty in the five days between their respective interviews.  I noticed the time stamps on those interviews very early. We were always supposed to know that they got to Rust first.

Finally, consider how far Pizzolatto goes to include moments that he finds fun or mysterious. The scene in Episode 3 where Rust borrows the lawn mower? Why would a guy who lives in an apartment complex need a lawn mower? But it allows for the whole “I like mowing MY lawn” scene, which is a call-back o something Woody Harrelson said in “Kingpin”, a movie from 20 years ago. Just something to think about.

5. Sleeve It Alone

Defense? We’d rather watch.

Thanks to @okerland for noticing that the highest-scoring game in NBA All-Star history (163-155, or 318 points)  involved players wearing full shirt sleeves. I do believe we can have a 200-point score from one team next year if they just wear long flannels.

My idea for next year: a 12th-man All-Star Game, pitting the 12 best 12th men from the East versus the West. An even more Darwinian idea: the league’s 12 worst 12th men –all of whom having been with their teams since start of season –versus a D-League All-Star team.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B

1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P

1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P

1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul

1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF

1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P

1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B

1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C

1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B

1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B

1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B

1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P

1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C

1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF

1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF

1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P

1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P

1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF

1962:

Luke Appling, SS; 1930-1943, 1944-1950, Chicago White Sox

When he retired in 1950, “Old Aches and Pains” was baseball’s all-time leader in games played (2,422) and double plays involved in. He hit .388 in 1938, his best season, and for his career struck out less than once every 19 plate appearances.

Jesse Burkett, LF; 1890-1905, five teams, including the Cleveland Spiders

“Crab” was due to the fact that he was baseball’s first exo-skeletal player?

On a very short list of men who have hit .400 or above more than once, Burkett batted .405 in 1895 and .410 in 1896, the latter season in which he had 240 hits. A career .338 hitter, “Crab” collected 2,850 hits and 389 stolen bases and also is the game’s all-time leader in inside-the-park home runs with 55.

STARTING FIVE

He shoots, he scores…again and again and again.

1. Oshie in Soshi

Just the idea of a galvanizing Olympic hockey match airing at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning on the East Coast was awesome. Add what should have been a game-winning goal with four minutes remaining for the hosts, Russia, being disallowed because the goal had com off its mooring (that puck was going in either way). Then sprinkle in a post-overtime shootout in which Team USA’s T.J. Oshie essentially became a one-man team, burying four shootout goals in six attempts. And, finally, NBC announcer Doc Emrick’s masterful job, harkening back to Herb Brooks‘ 1980 pre-game speech to his underdog squad in Lake Placid when he intoned, “Not this game. Not tonight.”

Oshie with fiancee Lauren Cosgrove, who is back home in St. Louis now, eight months pregnant.

2. The Princess of Sunday Night

All that Sharbino (left) needs now is a recurring role on Downton Abbey to pull off the Sunday night hat trick.

If you think you have a dilemma as to whether to watch True Detective at 9 p.m. and DVR The Walking Dead or vice-versa, imagine what it must be like for 12 year-old Brighton Sharbino. She’s been a regular on the latter show as precocious (and ruthless) Lizzy for awhile now and last night she made her debut as the older version of Macie Hart. She made the eighth-grade cheer squad, you know, and there were like 10 girls who tried out and didn’t make it.

3. Sky High

If you’ve ever attempted to pole vault, then you probably have great respect for anyone who can do it. People always talk about how there’s nothing harder in sports than hitting a Major League fastball. You can at least whip out your bat and per chance get lucky. That ain’t happening in pole vault.

Speaking of get lucky, another Frenchman bathed in glory over the weekend as Renaud Lavillenie broke Sergey Bubka’s long-standing  pole vault world record with a vault of 6.16 meters (20 feet, 2 inches). Lavillenie broke Bubka’s record by 1/100th of a meter (or what some people refer to as a centimeter), a mark that had stood for nearly 21 years. Both Bubka’s effort and Lavilenie’s efforts took place at the same venue in Bubka’s hometown of Donestk, Ukraine, and the legendary Bubka was there to witness it.

“A new era in the sport has arrived,” Bubka, 50, graciously told reporters.

As for Lavillenie, the reigning Olympic gold medalist, he never even grazed the bar in his first attempt at that height. “It’s going to take me awhile to come down,” Lavillenie said.

By the laws of gravity, it already, relative to every one before him who ever had pole-vaulted, had.

4. For Goodness’ Snake

Adderall, while a powerful drug, has no therapeutic use in adder bites.

A Kentucky pastor who had been featured on a Natural Geographic reality show because handling venomous serpents is part of his ministry is bitten on the hand by a rattlesnake, refuses treatment, and dies. Pastor Jamie Coots of Jesus Name Church in Middlesboro, Ky., had actually been bitten eight times previously without, of course, such an adder-verse reaction.

“We’re going to go home, he’s going to lay on the couch, he’s going to hurt, he’s going to pray for a while and he’s going to get better,” said Coots’ son, Cod. “That’s what happened every other time, except this time was just so quick and it was crazy, it was really crazy.”

You might say that Coots was praying with fire.

5. BAFTA, The Best Medicine

Host Stephen Fry with that chick who wrote Mary Poppins.

The British are funnier than we are. They’re delightfully more self-deprecating (Ricky Gervais is an impostor). You know this. I know this. We’ve all seen Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill and Love, Actually, after all. Watched the guy who plays House at the Emmys and Golden Globes.

So, of course, their version of the Oscars, the BAFTAs, will be superior to ours. Here’s what host Stephen Fry advised all the winners-to-be at the start of the evening, for example: “When you are given a cup of tea, you don’t thank the kettle, the cup, the milk, the cow, the tea picker… Award winners, I trust I make myself clear. The briefer you are the more we will love, reverence and adore you.”

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.

1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B

1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF

1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B

1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B

1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B

1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B

1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P

1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P

1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul

1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF

1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P

1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B

1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C

1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B

1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B

1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B

1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P

1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C

1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF

1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF

1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P

1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P

1961:

Bob Feller, P; 1936-1941, 1945-1956, Cleveland Indians.

Rapid Robert, king of the wind-up.

“The Heater from Van Meter” surely would have been a 300-game winner had he not given four years of service to his country in World War II. Feller, 266-162 lifetime, settled for six 20-win seasons and seven times leading the American League in strikeouts between 1938 and 1951.

Joe “Ducky” Medwick, LF; 1932-1948, St. Louis Cardinals, three other teams

Medwick’s infamous slide.

Medwick had an offer from Knute Rockne to play football at Notre Dame, but chose the diamond instead. A 10-time All-Star with the Gashouse Gang, Medwick achieved the National League Triple Crown in 1937, a year in which he also named the league MVP. Besides being the last NL player to hit for the Triple Crown, Medwick holds the Major League record for most consecutive seasons with 40 or more doubles (7; 1933-1939). He retired with a .324 batting average.

Final note: Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis tossed Medwick out of Game 7 of the 1934 World Series after he slid hard into third base on a triple and the Detroit Tiger fans began pelting him with garbage. Said Medwick, “I knew why they were throwing the garbage at me. What I don’t understand is why they brought it to the park in the first place.”

Remote Patrol

The Tonight Show

NBC 11:35 p.m.

In the words of Michael Stipe, “Fallon Me.” Jimmy Fallon assumes stewardship of NBC’s most precious franchise and returns it to 30 Rock for the first time since 1969. Well played, Jack Donaghy. Tonight’s guests are Will Smith and U2, which only proves that what Reggie LeDoux said about time being a flat circle since this broadcast probably first occurred in 2001.