STARTING FIVE

1. Frozen

The weekend’s box office No. 1, as most of America girded itself for the chilliest temperatures in years, was Disney’s “Frozen” ($20.7 million). Meanwhile, both NFC wildcard games were played in sub-freezing temperatures and decided in identical fashion: the visiting team’s kicker nailed the game-winning field goal as time expired. Never easy to do, but even more difficult when the mercury reads below 20 degrees.

Oddly enough, neither home team, Philadelphia nor Green Bay, called a timeout at the end to freeze the kicker (New Orleans’ Shayne Graham or San Francisco’s Phil Dawson.)

2. Yacht C.K.

Shore Thing: C.K. and Seinfeld riding a 1959 Fiat Jolly to the slip at Chelsea Piers.

Jerry Seinfeld and Louis C.K. go out for what appears to be a three-hour cruise on the latter’s vessel, right past the home offices of Medium Happy, and refrain from making a single Gilligan’s Island (or Love Boat) joke. Odd. It’s the season premiere of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee.

The Acura MDX ads (narrated by Seinfeld) that bookend the episode are worth your price of admission (“I thought they said noon”)…which, is of course, free.

Two more observations: 1) I expected Seinfeld to play up more the fact that his guest writes, produces and stars in his own eponymous sitcom based on his life in Manhattan. Where’d he get that idea? 2) Am I wrong or is the boat that is shown in the Daily News article different than the one in which Louis C.K. and Jerry are sailing? What’s up with that?

3. A-L-_-_-_-_-A

Auburn coach Gus Malzahn: The closest Waffle House to the Rose Bowl is located 357 miles east in Goodyear, Arizona.

A terrific trivia question, courtesy of Mike & Mike this morning. What state or province (<—hint) has won four championships in four consecutive years? The answers, of course, are the state of Alabama (Tide, Tigers, Tide, Tide, 2009-2012) and the province of Alberta (Oilers, Oilers, Flames, Oilers, 1987-1990). If the Tigers win tonight, Alabama would become the first state since New York (Yankees, Giants, Dodgers, 1949-56) to win at least five consecutive championships.

Key quote to remember for tonight’s game:  “I’m going to have say, ‘Guys, where in the rulebook still says we can’t blow out every team that we play?’ In the championship games, Alabama blew out Notre Dame last year.”

That’s Florida State QB Jameis Winston….who’s fantastic. But the only adversity he has faced this season is off the field. It’ll be interesting to see what happens if this contest is close in the fourth quarter.

4. 137?

The Nuggets put up 77 second-half points on The Lame Show.

The Denver Nuggets score 44 fourth-quarter points against the Los Angeles Lakers at the Staples Center last night in a 137-115 victory in what had to be Paul Westhead Appreciation Night. Denver had five players score between 17 and 21 points and shot 12 of 29 from beyond the arc, while the Swaggy P’s shot 3 for 21 from outside the circle.

The Lakers will be without Kobe Bryant at least all month while the Clippers, who found themselves trailing San Antonio at halftime on Saturday night 70-35, will be without Chris Paul for at least six weeks. I’ll be sending my friend Arash Markazi a “Hang In There’ kitty poster later today.

5. Austin Strong

Bevo has no beef with the Longhorns’ new hire.

Texas names Louisville coach Charlie Strong as its successor to Mack Brown. Apparently, the Longhorns feel that adjectives (Royal, Brown and now Strong) make the best football coaches.

A columnist at the Fort Worth-Star Telegram, Gil Lebreton, opines, “It’s as if the Longhorn Network fired Leno and hired Arsenio.”

Then, later in the piece, Lebreton cautions us that “Comparisons with Texas A&M head coach Kevin Sumlin unfortunately may be unavoidable. But please don’t go there — a coach is a coach.”

Oh, okay. We wouldn’t want to race-bait.

FWIW, Mack Brown was 35-12 in his last four seasons at North Carolina before accepting the Texas job. Strong was 37-15 in his four seasons at Louisville, before accepting the Texas job.

Also, Strong becomes the first African-American head coach of a Texas men’s program, though I did not hear Michael Wilbon bullying the university about its dearth of black head coaches all week.

Reserves

The holidays are over. Now, as Tom Hanks put it so well, bring on the “celebrity mule train.”

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Stephon Tuitt has declared for the NFL draft. The first round could see anywhere from one to three members of Notre Dame’s 2011 defensive line (Tuitt, Louis Nix and Aaron Lynch) selected.

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So, “midget” is not a derogatory term, particularly when it is the name of a football play.

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The Colts, who rebounded from being down 38-10 early in the third quarter to winning 45-44 (and you kind of sensed it would happen the entire time) are downright bi-polar. Victories over Seattle, San Francisco, Denver and Kansas City (four of the league’s top six teams, at least) during the season and blowout losses to St. Louis and Arizona. Also, the Andrew Luck Club trailed Houston, the league’s worst team, 21-3 at halftime but recovered to win.

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Pilot Error

Maybe it would have been easier on this dude if he had just crashed.

The Bank

Balance: $910

Friday: Took Clemson plus 3.5 points, for $20, in the Orange Bowl. Won.

Tonight: Four BCS bowls down, four underdogs have won outright. I don’t know if Auburn and Gus Malzahn can pull off the sweep, but I like the Tigers to cover at plus 9.5. Let’s put $40 on War Eagle and take the 9 1/2 points.

Remote Patrol

BCS National Championship Game

No. 2 Auburn vs No. 1 Florida State

ABC 8:30 p.m.

Once upon a midnight dreary/As I pondered Nick O’Leary…. Quoth the Musburger about the BCS NCG, “Nevermore.”

You are by no means perfect, BCS, but I will miss you. And I know that you are better than what lies ahead. Here’s the always entertaining Jason Gay with his thoughts on the subject.

Starting Five

Waterston went on to run “News Night”, while Dern and Redford will be up for Best Actor Oscars.

1. No Country For Old Men

When the Oscar nominations are announced later this month, the two favorites for Best Actor will have at least two things in common: 1) both are 77 year-old men and 2) both had starring roles in “The Great Gatsby.”

Bruce Dern. Robert Redford. “Nebraska.” “All Is Lost.”

Chiwetel Ejiofor? Nope, his film (“12 Years a Slave”) will win Best Picture, and that’s enough. Tom Hanks already has a pair, and he’s not Gumpin’ it or gay in “Captain Phillips.” Matthew McConaughey? Deserving, but neither of these septuagenarians have won an Oscar, so this is the Academy’s chance to reward them.

I’m rooting for Dern, because tiger or no tiger, no one wants to see movies about men stranded in the Indian or Pacific Oceans–well, at least not until “Unbroken” is released. However, I don’t see how Mr. Sundance Film Festival will lose. Too many people in Hollywood owe their careers to that Park City-palooza, so this will be Redford’s reward.

2. Jack Lambert Meets Jack London

How cold was it at Riverfront Stadium that January day in 1982? Beer froze.

As explained in this piece in Newsweek, the forecast for this weekend’s four NFL playoff games Mercury Morose (okay, that was a stretch).

In the NFC, games in Philadelphia and Green Bay will be played almost entirely after sundown and in temperatures ranging from zero to 18 degrees. Lambeau Field has hosted five of the 10 chilliest contests in NFL history, and it’s about to be six of 11.

As for the AFC, while the temperatures won’t be awful, both matchups will recall the second- and third-coldest contests in league history. The Colts beat the Chiefs in Kansas City in January of ’97 with the temperature at about minus-7, while the Bengals defeated the Chargers in Cincy in 1982 with a wind chill of minus-59.

3. If Seth Meyers Could Speak to Roger Goodell…

Happy birthday to Seth, by the way. He turned 40 last Saturday.

News out of Green Bay is that the Packers may not sell out their wild-card playoff game against the San Francisco 49ers that kicks off just before sunset (!) on Sunday, with temperatures hovering just above zero (that’s Fahrenheit, not Celsius). Should that happen the NFL will invoke authority granted to it via the Sports Broadcasting Act of 1961 –an act that overrode a court decision declaring the league was violating anti-trust laws– and black out the 49er-Packer game locally.

(College football does whiteouts, which fans love. Pro football does blackouts, which fans despise. College football wins again.)

Really, Roger Goodell? Really?

 You’re going to punish the most historically loyal fan base in NFL history? You’re going to penalize a citizenry where babies are put on season-ticket waiting lists before their first diaper is changed? You’re going to sanction a people who, during training camp, provide millionaire players their own bicycles to ride to and from practice? Where the current waiting list for season tickets is about 96,000 names long? Whose fans wear foam cheddar cheese as hats? Whose fans all own shares in the franchise, a franchise that actually pre-dates the NFL?

For what? To demonstrate how selfish it is of them that there are a few thousand unsold seats for a game where the temperatures will threaten fans’ health? Really? Did you know that a fan died in the stands during the Ice Bowl in 1967? (Really? Yes, really.)

And, isn’t television money where the NFL’s bread is buttered anyway? The fans are just a backdrop. You should be paying them to attend.

Which reminds me: You want to win a few points, Roger? Attend the game in person and sit outdoors the entire time. Otherwise, air the game locally and shut up.

4. For Whom the Bell Trolls

ESPN cut to this shot about one second after OU scored off McCarron’s sack-and-fumble. Major props to the producer for that move.

Up 45-31 in the waning seconds of the Sugar Bowl, and on the brink of pulling the upset of this bowl season, Oklahoma had to kick off from its own 10-yard line after a pair of “Having Too Much Fun” penalties. So what does Big Game Bob Stoops do?

Orders an onside kick, and one that caroms off an Alabama player. Sooners recover and run out the clock. Hilarious. The best troll move in a bowl game I can recall since Chris Petersen’s game-winning two-point conversion call against this same Sooner team in 2007. Nice to see that Stoops learned something from that experience.

And yes, three BCS bowls have seen coaches Mark Dantonio, George O’Leary and Bob Stoops winners. So please adjust your paradigm accordingly –and don’t bet againt Dabo Swinney.

5. Don’t Wake Up in a Roadside Ditch…as a Folk Singer

“Outer…Space!”

So, you can go and see “Inside Llewyn Davis.” Some are calling it the best film of 2013. You can go see it. Or, you can watch the DirecTV ad “Don’t Get Caught in a Roadside Ditch”, imagine a cat and a guitar as co-stars, and you pretty much have it. A series of poor choices leading to an ever-worsening downward spiral. Besides, Oscar Isaac resembles the DirecTV dude.

As a New Yorker I loved seeing my subway stops and Caffe Reggio (“The Reg”). I was amazed that the Coen brothers could take over entire city streets in the West Village in broad daylight and put in vintage early ’60s vehicles all over the streets. Outstanding.

Other thoughts:

1) I don’t laugh out loud often, but John Goodman’s 10 minutes on screen had me wheezing. I don’t know if that’s enough time onscreen to merit a Best Supporting Actor nod, but wow, was that phenomenal.

2) Remember Max Casella? Doogie Howser’s best bud? He’s got minor roles this year in both Woody Allen’s film (“Blue Jasmine”) and this Coen brothers film. Prit-tee, prit-tee good.

3) I think I’ve found my favorite Justin Timberlake song. “Please Mr. Kennedy.” Highlight of the film for me.

Reserves

Kluwe, winner of the NFL’s “Most Closely Resembles Roger Clyne” award.

World of Warcraft

Former Minnesota Viking punter Chris Kluwe, a.k.a @ChrisWarcraft on Twitter, with a detailed description of how he fell out of favor with his coaches due to his support of same-sex marriage. When I saw and heard the words of special teams coach Mike Priefer, I could not help but think of Josh Brolin’s Dan White in “Milk.”

League of Denial? Oh, yeah.

We’ll wait to see how the Vikings respond.

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The LSU Mom has a second son commit to an SEC school not named LSU on national television during the Under Armour All-Star game. And she’s just as unhappy about it this time (“LSU No. 1”). I cannot wait until either of her sons, Alabama’s Landon Collins or freshman-to-be Gerald Willis brings home a girlfriend from college. That girl best be festooned in purple and yellow.

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You’re not really surprised by this, are you?

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Favorite tweet, as high school seniors were announcing where they’d be attending college: “For too many of these kids, a college scholarship is like giving a lizard a frozen steak.”

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If you want to know how it’s done, Alabama commit Tony Brown was all class. This is how you do it, kids. I cannot find video of the cornerback’s verbal commitment during the Under Armour game, but he thanked everyone (except, thankfully, his agent) before naming Alabama as his choice. Classy.

****

The Knicks beat the Spurs in San Antonio and the Nets beat the Thunder in Oklahoma City, confirming for the final time that there is no such thing in sports as a sure thing. Knicks/Nets are 2-0 in 2014. Watch out, NBA.

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 The Bank

Balance: $890

Yesterday: Took Suns minus-6, lost $55.

Well, either this is not working out well or I’m giving a seminar in why you should not wager. Let’s take a cue from Dantonio, O’Leary and Stoops and go with Dabo Swinney and Clemson, plus-3.5, in tonight’s Orange Bowl. We’ll put $20 on it.

Remote Patrol

Orange Bowl

No. 12 Clemson vs No. 7 Ohio State

ESPN 8:30 p.m.

The Punch Bowl, Clemson-OSU 1978. Woody Hayes was fired the next day. I wonder if Art Schlichter had the under.

Every time someone says, “Charlie Bauman”, drink.

STARTING FIVE

Barry Sanders, Jr., here against Wazzu, was primarily used on kick returns yesterday.

1. The Son Bowl

Barry Sanders, Jr., (Stanford) at the Rose Bowl. Jerry Rice, Jr. (UNLV), who scored a touchdown, at the Heart of Dallas Bowl. Ken Griffey III (Arizona), a.k.a. “Trey”, who caught two touchdown passes in the Advocare V100 Bowl. Austin Collinsworth (Notre Dame), who had an interception on the final play of the Pinstripe Bowl and who is teammates with Corey Robinson (the Admiral’s son) and Torii Hunter, Jr. Jerry Neuheisel (UCLA), the injured backup QB who watched the Sun Bowl from the sidelines.

I’m sure there are many more sons of former pro athletes playing college football right now. Most of whom realize who their fathers are.

Collinsworth, whose dad works for the network that televises his team’s home games.

If you are an unfettered fan of Darwinism, as I am, then you can appreciate that with each succeeding generation the percentage of progeny of pro athletes playing college football (and hoops–the leading scorer in Division I is Antoine Mason, Anthony’s son) will only increase. It’ll never be 100% –outliers will always exist–but there will come a day where an “athlete class”, entirely separate from the rest of society, will exist and collect most of the major scholarships. Although by that time scholarships may be obsolete. Not that these children will need them.

2. Heroin Nerdness

“So this one time when I was doing blow off a hooker’s bottom…” “You, too, Peter?”

Peter King meets Artie Lange on SI Now. How did I miss this when it first aired?

3. Talk Talk

“What’s in MY wallet? A lot more scratch tomorrow than there was yesterday.”

During the Capital One Bowl Brian Griese is asked, I believe by Dan Schulman, what level of concern he’d have if he were an NFL GM about Jadeveon Clowney’s two recent speeding tickets, one of which had the South Carolina defensive end matriculating his vehicle down the filed at 100 mph: “Zero. I have zero concern about his speeding tickets.”

Let’s clip and save that one.

Immediately after the Gamecocks defeated Wisconsin, ESPN’s Tom Luginbill caught up with Clowney on the field and asked him if he had NFL plans. “Yes sir,’ Clowney replied.

Wondering if that was prearranged. Nothing wrong with it, but Luginbill is ESPN’s National Recruiting Director, after all. One assumes he has forged a relationship with Clowney over the years, and this was a good get.

4. The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing of Wall Street

At least Bud Fox learned something…

Excellent letter by Christina McDowell, a victim of Jordan Belfort’s crimes. If you think large-scale Wall Street fiscal crimes don’t ruin –and end — lives, you’re willfully ignorant. Martin Scorcese and Leo DiCaprio might as well have made a film about puppy murderers (that script is probably in turnaround in Burbank right now).

5. Toronto Rapture

This man needs to start sitting courtside at Rapture games.

Toronto opens the calendar year with a 95-82 win against Indiana, who only had the NBA’s best record. The Rapture reach the .500 mark (15-15) and have now won nine of 12 since trading Rudy Gay, with two of the defeats coming to San Antonio (no shame there) and a third by two points in overtime to Charlotte. Demar DeRozan, who scored 26 last night, and Kyle Lowry are becoming a premier backcourt in the East. Yet another team without big contracts that is better than both the Knicks and Nets.

Reserves

Lowdermilk drops the ball on a sure pick-six in the Outback Bowl.

This still happens??? Iowa defensive back John Lowdermilk releases the ball from his grasp a split-second before scoring off an interception against The Hat and LSU in the Outback Bowl. Lowdermilk would have been able to gloat about a 71-yard interception return. Instead, one of his Hawkeye teammates recovered and Iowa scored a few plays later. They still lost, though, because LSU’s Jeremy Hill is a beast.

So, if you’re scoring at home, Times Square ball drop >>>>> Lowdermilk ball drop.

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The Weather Channel’s website, weather.com, put together a pretty good feature on the Yarnell fire in Arizona last summer that killed 19 volunteer firefighters, i.e. the Granite Mountain Hot Shots.

My Dantonio

I love you, man.

The 100th Rose Bowl: School with twentysomething alum who made obscene amounts of cash by winning the World Series of Poker defeats school with twentysomething alum dropout who made obscene amounts of cash by developing SnapChat.

Also, the few remaining college football fans who didn’t already like Mark Dantonio were won over yesterday. Hard to root against the guy. Sure, he comes across as so laconic that he plays “Word With Friends“, but he’s genuine. Which doesn’t mean that you have to hug him the way Tom Rinaldi did after their postgame interview (above), but you can at least feel good for him.

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The Year in Murder

As Bill DeBlasio accepts the baton from Michael Bloomberg yesterday, we can report that New York City had a record-low 333 murders in 2013. That’s, obviously, less than one per day. And then on the first day of 2014 we had two. So, please, no one murder anyone today in the five boroughs. We have an average of < one per day to maintain.

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The most macho movie of the Sixties was based on an actual event.

Fun With Twitter: When the Stanford band took the field yesterday at halftime, I joked about how seeing them in an open field reminded me of that scene in “The Great Escape” where the captured Allied prisoners are allowed out of the trucks to stretch their legs. Of course, in that scene the POWs are all gunned down. For me, that was wishful thinking for the Stanford band and obviously a joke.

Seconds later I receive a reply from an irate follower who informs me that I am an ass (already knew that) and that his father died in that escape. My first thought was, “The Great Escape” was based on a real story? Did not know that.

So, I’m sorry.

My second thought? I have a follower who is at least 70 years old. Besides my mom. That surprises me even more.

The Bank

Eric Bledsoe. The cornerstone in Phoenix.

Yesterday: Took Stanford minus-seven. Lost

Total: $945 ($50 wager plus 10% vigorish)

Tonight’s Wager: $50 on the Phoenix Suns minus-6 at home versus Memphis Grizzlies. Tempting to take either San Antonio at home versus New York Knicks or Oklahoma City at home versus the Brooklynettes, who cannot even be bothered to remain on court for an entire game, but the Suns are an NBA-best 22-7-1 against the spread. And I recall some idiot in late October wondering if it would be brilliant to simply bet against the Suns every game (raises hand).

Remote Patrol

Sugar Bowl

No. 11 Oklahoma vs No. 3 Alabama

ESPN 8:30 p.m.

And, listen, Tide fans, PLEASE stay out of Krystal Burger after the game.

Nick at night. Imagine how many times Nick Saban has been reminded of playing Utah in the Sugar Bowl five years ago. A.J. McCarron’s final college game. The Tide are 17-point favorites, but it’s always fun to watch two programs that are Top Ten all-time in wins and who festoon themselves in the same uniforms they were wearing when Nixon was president.

STARTING FIVE

Thomas is six-foot-six, 260 pounds. Quarterback or no, that’s a Cam Newton-sized load.

1. Myles Jacked

Second quarter of the Sun Bowl. Virginia Tech QB Logan Thomas takes off around right end and UCLA linebacker Myles Jack, the most celebrated freshman in the country and deservedly so, sprints left to meet him. And Thomas pulls a Will Ferrell at last year’s Golden Globes and says, “You get outta here!” The collision sends the six-foot-one Jack ass-over-teakettle and Twitter tumbles over itself in shock.

However….

On the very next play, Thomas rolls left to pass and Jack’s teammate, linebacker Jordan Zumwalt, a six-foot-four, 235-pound feral nightmare, uncorks on Thomas just as he releases the pass. It’s a train wreck to the previous play’s fender bender. Thomas is knocked out of the game.

UCLA wins 42-12. Jack will wind up scoring a pick-six later on to seal it. And I am left wondering whether Anthony Barr really is the best linebacker on UCLA’s defense.

By the way, Gary Danielson was extra enjoyable yesterday. Loved when he noted that when you’re younger (high school/college age), everyone thinks they’re good at basketball. So true.

2. Inside Llewyn Davis

Off to write another installment of It’s All Happening!

The one film that Grierson and Leitch agree belongs in their top two from 2013 is about a single man in New York City who has a cat. I never even noticed the cameras rolling in my home…

3. Johnny Be Goodone

I imagine the post-game celebration looked something like this.

Down 38-17 at halftime to an inspired Duke squad, Texas A&M roars back thanks to Johnny Manziel’s leadership and the fact that the defense was finally able to stop Duke. An ideal way to exit for JFF, who completes 30 of 38 (78.9%) for 382 yards, four TDs and zero picks. For the game’s first 56 minutes, Duke’s Aaron Boone was right with him — 29 of 45 for 427 yards and three TDs –but a pick-six late gave the Aggies their first lead with less than four minutes to play.

Notice that Manziel’s first post-game tweet was to congratulate Boone and Duke on how well they played. His Twitter game has elevated even more than his football prowess in the past nine months. Manziel’s a total gamer. A winner.  “He’s magic,” Rece Davis declared after that TD play, and what a perfect choice to call Manziel’s final college game.

And every QB in the nation should watch him just to pay attention to how he rocks on his feet when standing in the pocket. There’s a rhythm to it, like watching Muhammad Ali in the ring. You never see JFF throw off his back foot.

My lone fear for Manziel is that, like the Texas-groomed Heisman Trophy winner who preceded him, that he’ll get injured due to his style of play in the NFL. Outside of that –and it’s no minor concern — you want him on your team. Lou Holtz called him the most exciting player he’d seen in college football since Roger Staubach. Don’t know about that, but like Staubach, Manziel improves under pressure.

4. Bruuuuuuce (Not Dern)

The Bruce I always see in my mind. Mid-Seventies, circa “Born To Run” and “Darkness on the Edge of Town.”

So Rolling Stone rolls out “15 Insanely Great Bruce Springsteen Songs You’ve Never Heard.” You just know that decades after Springsteen ascends into The Promised Land that we’ll still be unearthing entire catalogues of his tunes dealing with cars and boardwalks and Crazy Janie and calliopes, right?

Not coincidentally, Springsteen has an album out on January 14, “High Hopes”, which is a blend of songs he’s performed in concert but never put on an album and covers.

5. Michael Schumacher

Schumacher. And no, Tiger Woods did not send his private plane after the accident.

The greatest Formula One driver in history, Michael Schumacher, was in critical condition after a skiing accident three days ago in France. Schumacher, who won seven F-1 world titles and turns 45 on Friday, has been updated to stable condition after suffering severe head injuries. Details of the injury, recounted here, are bizarre. Not a typical high-speed skiing, Sonny Bono-style accident.

The Bank

So, here’s the concept. One wager a day for as long as I  can remember to include this segment. Let’s begin with a fictitious total of $1,000.

Today’s bet: $50 on Stanford minus-7 in the Rose Bowl versus Michigan State.

Remote Patrol

Rose Bowl

No. 5 Stanford vs No. 4 Michigan State

ESPN 5 p.m.

Stanford’s Shayne Skov

The undisputed king of bowl games, a.k.a. The Granddaddy of ’em all. Many have said, and I concur, you could stage the national title game here every single year. Today’s game is all about MSU coach Mark Dantonio: Can he rally the Spartans after suspending the team’s most valuable defensive player, Max Bullough, on a team whose forte is its defense?