Starting Five

1. The Iggles Go From Vick to Nick

Nick Foles, winner of the NFL’s Dwight Yoakam Look-a-like Contest, just went Peyton on us.

A former Pac-12 quarterback tied an NFL record by tossing seven touchdowns in one game yesterday and his name is not Andrew Luck…or Aaron Rodgers…or Carson Palmer… or Jake Locker…or even Jeff Tuel.

A former Pac-12 quarterback who now plays for the Philadelphia Eagles tied an NFL record by tossing seven touchdowns in one game yesterday and his name is not Matt Barkley!

A former quarterback at Austin (Texas) Westlake High School who now….blah blah blah, blah-blah….and his name is not Drew Brees!

What is going on here? Former University of Arizona quarterback , Nick Foles, a third-round pick by the Iggles last year, tied Peyton Manning’s (all bow) record with seven touchdown passes yesterday in a 49-20 rout of the Oakland Raiders in Oakland. Foles completed 22 of 28 passes for 406 yards and three of this seven TD throws went to Riley Cooper (all hiss).

2. “Don’t You Forget About Us…”

Michigan State’s defense: Demented and sad…but sociable.

College football’s Breakfast Club consists of the following four schools: Auburn, Stanford, Michigan State and Oklahoma. What do they all have in common? Each program has one loss and each is headed for a showdown with an unbeaten that is currently in the top four in the BCS Standings.

No. 9 Auburn hosts No. 1 Alabama on November 30.

No. 5 Stanford, which is currently ahead of unbeaten No. 6 Baylor (which only leads the nation in both points per game and margin of victory) hosts No. 2 Oregon on Thursday night. Also this Thursday night, No. 10 Oklahoma gets its crack at No. 6 Baylor.

No. 17 Michigan State, which is No. 1 in Total Defense and No. 3 in Scoring Defense, should get No. 4 Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship Game.

The only school in the top 10 not yet accounted for? No. 8 Missouri, which would almost certainly get the winner of Auburn-Alabama in the SEC Championship game.

No playoff? Look at the BCS Standings: Every program in the Top 15 will have or has had the chance to play the five teams that are currently unbeaten. It’s a playoff, just not wrapped in a tidy, linear bow. It’s just like “Pulp Fiction” : a compelling narrative, it’s just that the scenes are not presented in chronological order.

What about Fresno State and Northern Illinois, you ask, two schools that are still undefeated and will likely stay that way? I agree, not cool. That’s why I proposed The Lottery Game last week. Let’s admit that the schools in the bottom half of the FBS just aren’t playing the same schedules as those in the top half. Let’s not be disingenuous. Either those schools should create their own subdivision, the bigger schools should not duck them (bad choice of verbiage: Oregon did not Duck Boise State, twice, in recent years), or those schools should be content with a BCS bowl –and the $$ it brings their conference.

3. The Tribe (or Rick) Has Spoken: Carol is Out

Carol: “You said the Waffle House is 8 miles up on the left?”

The Walking Dead: On an excursion to find more food for the group back at the prison –and why haven’t the denizens of this institution given it a cuddly nickname?–Sheriff Rick plays the role of judge and sentences Carol to banishment. Rick, c’mon, what’s a little euthanasia amongst friends? The fact that Carol literally stabbed Karen in the back as she was also figuratively stabbing her in the back was probably not lost on Rick.

(Meanwhile, Herschel has dispatched his daughters to find out where Darryl is going each week to get those $200 haircuts.)

Afterward, on Talking Dead, guest and WWE legend Chris Jericho shows off his massive brain by noting that the theme of last night’s episode was letting go: “Tyreese can’t let go of the zombie; Mel can’t let go of the bottle of whiskey; Rick can’t let go of Sam (the young man with the bum shoulder they’d happened upon) but then he does let go of Carol.”

Jericho: A ‘Talking Dead’ guest who actually put some thought into it.

“You know what I think?” replied host Chris Hardwick, who was both relieved that they hadn’t invited Marilyn Manson back as a guest and impressed by Jericho’s insight. “I think you should be sitting in this chair.”

4. Hines Does Kona

Like the helmet, Hines.

A little late –like, three weeks late– on this, but last month former Pittsburgh Steeler wide receiver Hines Ward became the first former NFL player to complete the Hawaii Ironman triathlon. Ward swam the 2.4-mile swim in 1:20:01, biked the 112 miles in 6:21:12 and ran the 26.2-mile marathon in 5:12:56. His overall time was 13 hours, 8 minutes and 15 seconds, which put him at 1,680th among the male competitors.

Ward told NFL.com that when he first began training under the guidance of triathlon icon legend Paula Newby-Fraser, it was raining one day and he asked her if he should still go out and run in the rain.

Beadle. “I believe it’s called ‘jogging’ or ‘yogging.’ It might be a soft ‘j’, I’m not sure.”

In other NBC Sports “talent” -thon news, yesterday Michelle Beadle finished (I don’t think “run” is the appropriate verb here) the New York City Marathon in 6:08. Which is, yeah, better than walking, but I don’t know if it merits an article in Runner’s World titled “I’m a Runner.” Momma sounds just a little full of herself from her tweets as of late, bitching about the TSA line at Newark Airport this morning as she makes her way to the Country Music Awards in Nashville. Not the best time to be whining about the TSA.

(Oh, and Pamela Anderson ran a 5:41 in New York City yesterday and, no, it was not Matt Lauer in costume.)

5. Pharoah and Washington Rule…SNL

Kerry Washington as Oprah…seconds after portraying Michelle Obama.

Actress Kerry Washington guest-hosted SNL on Saturday night (what other night would she?), which meant more sketches involving African-American characters, which meant that Jay Pharoah was featured heavily. My favorite sketch involved Pharoah’s hilariously exaggerated impersonation of Shaquille O’Neal, which induced giggles before he even said a word.

“Like Sacramento. Good town. Good sandwiches.”

SNL also took on its own dearth of diversity in the cold open (It’s funny because it’s true; well, of course. That’s why anything’s funny). Of course, if it could afford Kerry Washington, that problem would be solved. She was terrific.

Remote Patrol

Country Music Awards

CBS 8 p.m.

Brad and Carrie…Nashville’s No. 1 couple, and they’re not even dating.

Even if you’re not a country music fan, hosts Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood bring the best monologue this side of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Here’s last year’s open.

Starting Five

Notre Dame 35, Army 13. Birth of an empire.

November 1, 1913.

Notre Dame football coach Jesse Harper, unable to find suitable opponents located in proximity to his school’s South Bend campus (we’re looking at you, Fielding Yost), takes his football team to the shores of the Hudson River, to meet the vaunted United States Military Academy.

The Cadets were 4-0 at the time and had outscored opponents 72-6. A young man named Dwight Eisenhower was on the bench with a season-ending injury. Yale, college football’s juggernaut of the age that had won three national championships since the turn of the century (and 13 the previous century), had backed out of its date. So Army accepted Notre Dame’s request for a date.

A pre-jazz age “body bag” game, the Irish would be paid $1,000 for their efforts at West Point. A party of 20, 18 of them players, took the train out from South Bend and rode the rails for 24 hours (no one blasted “Crazy Train”, as they do now before key defensive downs at Notre Dame Stadium).

Harper brought with him All-American quarterback Gus Dorais, who weighed 145 pounds, end Knute Rockne, and a potent new weapon few had seen, the forward pass. Dorais completed 13 of 17 for 243 yards and five touchdowns.

Notre Dame received a $1,000 check to play Army. The school’s bookstore probably takes in that much revenue per minute on a home Saturday.

Army would not lose again, outscoring its last four opponents 168-16.

Notre Dame’s November crusade would continue with stops (and victories) in State College against Penn State, in St. Louis versus Christian Brothers, and in Austin versus Texas (When did these lads attend class, anyway???).

The Irish would finish 7-0, but Harvard would be crowned national champions. Crimson then, Crimson Tide now. Some things never change.

This game’s significance? It put Notre Dame football –still years away from being dubbed the “Fighting Irish”– on the map.

2. Safety Last

Cameron Wake’s game-winning two-point play.

Cameron Wake of the Fish ends last night’s Bengals-Dolphins game in overtime by sacking Andy Dalton for a safety. Just the third time in NFL history that an overtime game has ended due to a sack.

Attendance is announced as 52,388. Sure didn’t look like that many on television. Is Miami now a basketball town?

3. “Even Jon Stewart”

The irascibly funny host of The Daily Show tells everyone else in the media to stop co-opting his message. At one point he plays a clip of a Fox News expert arguing that if “even Jon Stewart and Saturday Night Live are making fun of” Obamacare, then that’s a sure sign that it should be scrapped. Of course, as Stewart counters “if that (his show’s lampooning of something) causes things to end, why is the network you are on still on the air?”

If you don’t think about where the roast beef comes from, Arby’s is yummy.

Stewart then notes that mounds of his jokes never toppled Dubya, Dick, Cramer or even Arby’s (Heyyyy! I like Arby’s) before employing a gospel choir to really get the point across.

(Note: I’m not defending Obamacare here. I’m noting that Stewart’s adversaries never take up his cause unless it aligns with theirs.)

4. Staten Island Ferry-is Wheel

The first Ferris wheel.

Gotta admire your pluck, Staten Island. Let’s face it, Staten Island is New Jersey wearing an “I Love NY” T-shirt. And that’s cool. But ask most New Yorkers the last time they visited and their response is, “When was that year I ran the marathon?”

Well, that may soon change. The New York City Council just approved plans for Staten Island to construct the world’s largest ferris wheel. How will it measure up against the world’s first ferris wheel, the story of whose genesis was wonderfully told in Erik Larson’s book “The Devil in the White City?”

Proposed Staten Island Ferris Wheel, which Mayor Bloomberg assures us will be Sharknado-proof.

First Ferris Wheel: 264 feet tall, made its debut in Chicago in 1893. 36 passenger cars, each able to accommodate up to 60 people, for a total of 2,160 passengers.

Staten Island Ferry-is Wheel: 630 feet tall. 36 capsules, each accommodating up to 40 passengers, for a total of 1,440 passengers.

5. Joe Knows Football and Finance

Moglia has gone from TDAmeritrade to TDs at Coastal Carolina.

The Football Championship Subdivision (FCS), remember that?

There are by my count 126 FCS programs, and about three of them have garnered national attention this season: Eastern Wasthington, for defeating No. 25 Oregon State in the Beavers’ season-opener, 49-46; North Dakota State, the division’s two-time defending champions, which remains undefeated and welcomed College Gameday in September; and winless Grambling State, whose players staged a one-game strike.

You may soon be hearing about a fourth: Coastal Carolina.

The Chanticleers are 8-0, the lone remaining unbeaten in the FCS besides NDSU and Fordham.

You may recall reading a story about the school’s head coach, Joe Moglia. Two years ago Moglia, 64, began at Coastal Carolina after serving one year as an assistant at Nebraska? Before that? Moglia, who played football at Fordham, was the CEO of TDAmeritrade.

Moglia isn’t worth millions. He’s worth hundreds of millions (if not a billion).

The story of the Wall Street CEO adopting his investment principles and business leadership skills to run a football program was endearing two years ago. But you know what? In less than two years on the job, Moglia is 16-4. You know when people advise, “Don’t quit your day job?” That advice does not apply to Moglia.

The Chanticleers have a tough matchup versus Charleston Southern (8-1) remaining, but there’s a good possibility that they’ll be 11-0 heading into their final game… at South Carolina. Joe Moglia versus the Ol’ Ball Coach. That could be fun.

Remote Patrol

Spurs at Lakers

ESPN 10:30 p.m.

Tony Parker versus Steve Nash. At this stage of their careers, it isn’t fair.

Since 1996, the Western Conference has won 10 NBA Finals, and these two franchises represent nine of the 10 titles. The Spurs came within a Ray Allen desperation three last June of making it 10 of 11, but Gregg Popovich and the gang are back for another run. Six Spurs scored between 11 and 14 points in the season opener on Wednesday. As for the Lakers? Gimme more Swaggy P!