*25th anniversary of Kirk Gibson’s World Series Game 1 home run AND of Notre Dame 31, Miami 30 (“Catholics Vs. Convicts”, still the most exciting football game I’ve ever watched).

Starting Five

1. It’s Always Something

Los Angeles Dodger rookie Yasiel Puig has not only made baseball interesting for those who think it is sport’s answer to their father’s Buick, he has made right field interesting. Any opposing batter who hits a ball to right field now hustles to first base, cognizant of the fact that the rookie from Cuba will attempt to throw him out at first if at all possible.

Puig seems genuinely bothered when he is unable to stretch a single into a double and it’s my guess that he’ll hit an inside-the-infield home run before his career is over. Last night he celebrated a home run before realizing that it was not going to leave Dodger Stadium, and then legged out a standing triple.

Do his antics bother you? They shouldn’t. Baseball this October is even more fun than usual, thanks to an array of outsized characters that we’ll remember for awhile. Puig is at the head of the class. Four others?

1) Miguel Cabrera, Detroit Tigers: Every beer-league softball team has a guy like this. The dude who causes the other team’s outfielders to back up as he approaches home plate but, if he hits it on the ground, will jog to first base.

2) Dustin Pedroia, Boston Red Sox: If the Sawx second baseman were in a military platoon, he’d be the toughest guy to kill. The former Sun Devil plays baseball as if it’s a war movie. You want him on that wall. You NEED him on that wall.

3) Yadier Molina, St. Louis Cardinals: A catcher, Molina lives to pick off a runner who has strayed too far off first base. You better watch out.

4) Justin Verlander, Detroit Tigers: Detroit hosts Boston today at 4 p.m., and there’s nothing better than weekday October baseball. Nothing. Verlander is a no-hitter waiting to happen every time he pitches. When he has all four pitches working, it’s simply not fair.

p.s. It’s cool that the Dodgers are hosting a postseason game on the 25th anniversary of Kirk Gibson’s homer, by the way. But what’s with all the playing up of the term “Postseason” this year? Wow, MLB’s marketing department is working overtime to justify its existence.

2. There’s No “I” in Chefs

They are 24th in Total Offense.

They are 9th in Total Defense.

Except for Passing Defense, in which they rank 5th, they are not in the Top 5 in any major statistical category in the NFL. Granted, they do lead the league in Sacks, but that’s after burying Terrelle Pryor 10 times in last Sunday’s win.

Ladies and gents, your 6-0 Kansas City Chiefs…who finished 2-14 last season.

K.C. and the Denver Peytonettes are the NFL’s last two undefeated teams, and these AFC West rivals will not meet until more than a month from today (November 17). In the interim K.C. plays three very winnable games –at Arrowhead versus both Houston and Cleveland, followed by a trek to Buffalo and then a bye week before visiting the Mile High Club.

Denver, meanwhile, visits Indianapolis and the Andrew Joy Luck Club this Sunday night on NBC. Then it’s a home game against the Team Soon To Be Formerly Known as Redskins, followed by a visit to the Philip Rivers Cuomo Chargers (he’s obviously bored).

What I’m saying: Excellent chance that Andy Reid’s club will be 9-0 when they hit Denver a month from now.

Three players whom you should know besides quarterback Alex Smith…

1) Running back Jamaal Charles. The former Texas Longhorn lead the Chefs in rushing yardage (475), receptions (33) and touchdowns (7).

2) Linebacker Justin Houston: Former Georgia Bulldog is second in the league in sacks with 9.5.

3) Punt returner Dexter McCluster:  Former Ole Miss dazzler leads the league in punt returns, has cool dreads.

3. “I Was Born In a Small Town…”

New Palestine, Ind., native Angela Ahrendts, who attended Ball State University after David Letterman but shortly before the release of fellow Hoosier John Mellencamp’s “Small Town”, was just hired by Apple to be its Senior VP of Retail and Online Sales. Ahrendts was previously the CEO of Burberry –not Blackberry, but Burberry. Ahrendts, 53, will now wait patiently until Vogue gives her the Marissa Mayer treatment.

4. I Know Who Should Play Their Homecoming Dance

The Washington Redskins name kerfuffle inspired me to search for more curious mascot names at the high school level –and obviously I’m not the first to have happened upon this idea. We should expect people who teach teens –and teens themselves — to conjure more inspired nicknames than NFL corporate muckety-mucks and guess what? They have.

How does one improve upon “Arkansas School for the Deaf….Leopards?” Look what they’ve done to this rock-and-roll crowd.

Meanwhile, in Williamsport, Pa., home of the Little League World Series, the local high school’s athletic squads refer to themselves as the Millionaires. Which is odd, since Williamsport is not even located in Bucks County.

Thanks to Jason English of MentalFloss.com for doing all of the heavy lifting on this item.

5. The 68,000-Pound Bat

Listen, I’d pay to read Steve Rushin’s grocery list, although there was a stage in his life where that list would simply have been the phone number to Domino’s pizza. Sports Illustrated’s man of letters, wordplay and puns is out with a new book today, “The 34-Ton Bat”, a paean to the pastime.

 Reserves

If y0u missed it, Tom Hanks spent a good hour with David Letterman last week. Hanks’ best role is as himself, a charming, funny, self-deprecating and yet also keenly self-aware persona. Hanks revealed that he has Type 2 diabetes and still found a way to make it humorous (“Well, I’m gonna have Type 2 diabetes!”) He’s the 21st-century Paul Newman.

***

You know who I thought about yesterday? Rena Sofer. I mean, what ever happened to her? From about 1994 to 2001 there was not a television show in existence that did not strive to have her at least play a guest role. She succeeded Tea Leoni in that regard. Apparently Sofer, who got her start on “General Hospital”, has recently joined the cast of “The Bold and the Beautiful.” And if I were a housewife in 1975, surely I’d have known this.

 Remote Patrol

Game 2 ALCS: Red Sox at Tigers

FOX 4 p.m.

 

Three games have passed since anyone has gotten a hit against Tiger pitching before the sixth inning. That trend may continue today as Justin Verlander takes the hill at Comerica Park. Day baseball, before Daylight Savings Time (“Boooo!”) kicks in. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

 

Starting Five

1. BoStunning!

Notes on the Hub’s magnificent Sunday, in which the Patriots turned the ball over twice in the final three minutes and still came back to beat the unbeaten New Orleans Saints, 30-27, and the Red Sox overcame a 5-0 deficit and being no-hit into the sixth inning –for the second night in a row–to topple Detroit in Game 2 of the ALCS, 6-5.

–Torii Hunter: “The one guy you don’t want to beat you, and he beat us…I’m pissed.”

–The Red Sox struck out 32 times in the first two games of the ALCS, which is a record for whiffing.

–In their last three games, played over the last four nights, Detroit pitchers have taken no-hitters into the seventh (Justin Verlander, Game 5, ALDS), ninth (Anibel Sanchez, Game 1, ALCS) and sixth (Max Scherzer, Game 1, ALCS) innings. In five of their seven postseason games thus far, the Tigers have shut out the opposition through the first five innings, yet they are only 3-2 in those contests.

–Big Papi gets all the glory –after all, he hit a first-pitch fastball for a game-tying grand slam, the latest such grand slam in baseball postseason history, with two outs in the eighth inning –but give Dustin Pedroia just as much credit. Pedroia, the ultimate gamer, had a two-out RBI double in the sixth and a two-out inning-extending single in the eighth. Without either hit, the Sox are likely 0-2 this morning.

–Prince Fielder, not much of a fielder. The dropped foul ball wasn’t as big of a deal as his failure to field Jose Iglesias’ errant throw to open the ninth. Iglesias had to roam far out of his range. Fielder had to be prepared for an off-line throw. Yes, it was a poor throw, but it was a one-hopper that Fielder needs to grab. If Johnny Gomes is on first base instead of second, that inning may go down differently.

–Boston has failed to get its leadoff hitter on in 17 of the series’ 18 innings thus far.

–HISTORICAL REFERENCE ALERT: It serves to measure that a guy named Torii would fall in Boston.

–In the final 3:29, Tom Brady was just 6 for 13 passing with one interception in three series, but he still led New England to the game-winning touchdown versus the NFC’s last undefeated team.

–Tom Terrific completed those six passes to five different receivers. Only Austin Collie, who was not even on the Patriot roster one week ago, caught two passes.

—Rule No. 14: NEVER burn a second-half timeout before the final five minutes of the fourth quarter. Bill Belichick believes in that rule, and it saves the Pats. Conversely, if Sean Payton runs it on third down and seven with about 2:30 to play, New England burns its final timeout. Sure, the Pats still get the ball back in front of the two-minute warning, but now there’s no room for error. Debatable decision.

–The Rob Ryan Face.

 “We Are!”

Everything to love about college football was on display in Happy Valley on Saturday afternoon, in what the “Death to the BCS” crowd would call a meaningless game. In terms of the national championship, it was fairly meaningless –particularly for the host Nittany Lions, who cannot play in a bowl–so how come 107,000 fans and countless viewers across the nation were going nuts.

Penn State recovers from a 10-point fourth quarter deficit versus unbeaten Michigan, punctuated by a no-timeouts-remaining drive in the final minute led by true freshman quarterback Christian Hackenberg. Twitter was agog over Allen Robinson’s 36-yard jump-ball reception that gave Penn State the ball at the UM 1, but it was his catch earlier in the drive, where he displayed Jerry Rice-level body control, that has the scouts salivating.

Brady Hoke plays it safe in the first overtime, and pays dearly. Bill O’Brien goes for it on fourth-and-one in the fourth overtime, when a highly probably field goal would have sent it to OT No. 5, and is rewarded. Middle-aged coaches need to remember that the game is played by college-aged men. Hoke thought like a guy who was leafing through his homebuyer’s agreement, when he should have been thinking like Johnny Football.

3. “It’s Just Ahead” (nudge, nudge)

The Season 4 premiere of “The Walking Dead” features Creepy Clara, who needs to feed her zombie boyfriend, who at this stage is literally little more than a mouth to feed. It also includes the worst expedition to Wal-Mart ever, and a young lad (who happens to be the voice of Phineas on “Phineas and Ferb”) who goes zombie inside the prison in the middle of the night.

I watched “Talking Dead” afterward and was a little surprised that neither host Chris Hardwick nor guest Nathan Fillion made the connection that the lad thanked Daryl for the deer meat at the opening of the episode, then we come across a dead deer carcass festering with flies, then said lad goes zombie –but not before coughing into the wash room basin that is filled with water. Did they fail to see that or are they just under orders not to reveal too much?

Rick’s Country Time Prison and Story Time Haven is about to go Ebola Virus on us all.

One question: How does Daryl come to have a $200 haircut? Is there a prison hair stylist?

Alan Sepinwall’s review.

4. Erin Andrews’ (Latest) “Look at Me!” Moment

Not once have I ever gotten the feeling that Erin Andrews is as invested in a sports event that she covers as she is in herself. That’s what separates her from Holly Rowe, Heahter Cox and Michelle Tafoya. So, while I was surprised to see that EA Sports both hosted Fox’s Saturday morning college football pre-game show (which hits the air at 7 a.m. locally in Los Angeles) and then did sideline work later that night at Fenway Park in Boston –a six-hour flight, at least — I was less surprised after I came across the USA Today piece promoting the stunt on Sunday.

Everyone deserves a wag of the finger here. Andrews looked bored and tired –good friend Joe Erwin suggested that she might have failed to take her probiotic!– while conducting a post-game interview after a near-historic Game 1 on Saturday evening. On Sunday night she interviewed Jarrod Saltalamacchia and asked him about his “game-winning run”. It was actually his “game-winning hit.” Not a huge deal, EA, but you’re on-air for all of a minute and you probably earn in the neighborhood of $1 million annually, so get it right.

Was it Andrews’ idea — or her agent’s idea –to pull this stunt?

If it wasn’t, then a wag of the finger to the Fox exec who thought this would be a good idea to promote Andrews as the face of Fox Sports 1. That’s a lot to ask of anyone. Andrews’ day probably began around 4 a.m. in Los Angeles and was still going on after midnight in Boston.

Finally, and especially, let’s admonish “the nation’s newspaper.” You just wrote the puffiest of puff pieces on Andrews. You never asked, “Why is Fox having her do this? Or why is she doing this?” That’s not journalism. That’s People magazine, guys.

5. I’m Not the Only Middle-Aged Man Who Fails To See the Whole Miley Cyrus Thing

Here’s Eddie Vedder, one year my senior, in the current issue of Rolling Stone:

 

By my count former Notre Dame tight ends accounted for 16 catches and four touchdowns yesterday in the NFL. Joseph Fauria, Kyle Rudolph, John Carlson and Tyler Eifert. Anthony Fasano and the Miami Dolphins had a bye.

Starting Five

1. USC Dons Its “O” Face

The Trojans led by as much as 28-3 in the first half and 38-17 in the second against Arizona before holding on for a 38-31 victory in the debut of interim head coach Animated Ed Orgeron. I could say more, but this quote from Trojan quarterback Cody Kessler that appears in Arash Markazi’s story says it all: “”No disrespect to the coach who was here before and I’m not getting into that, but you want a coach that you will freaking just go to war for every time [like] this man here to my right. I don’t only speak for myself. I speak for the whole team. We would go to war for this guy any day of the week. Any time he needed us we have his back 100 percent.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And we always wondered whether Fire Lane Kiffin was only aloof with the media. Kessler answered that question. Next up for the Trojans: at Notre Dame on October 19. If USC can tackle the Irish, they will peer out at a schedule in which they avoid both Oregon and Washington and get Stanford in the Coliseum on November 16. The future for Orgeron is as bright as the sunlight at Hermosa Beach if his Trojans are able to replicate performances such as last night’s.

One more thing, from listening to Fox Sports 1 coverage: Petros Papadakis is voiced by the same guy (Seth MacFarlane, I believe) who voices Peter Griffin on “Family Guy”, no? I mean, they’re identical.

2. Disney: The Magic Kingdom, But No Longer Magic’s Kingdom

I don’t know Chad Finn, who writes for The Boston Globe, but I concur with a line from the lede of his story on Magic Johnson’s exodus from ESPN: “A stone-cold truth: Magic Johnson’s effortless charisma as the maestro of the 1980s “Showtime” Lakers has never translated to television.”

Actually, I might have written it in Magic-ese: “Listen…Magic Johnson, no question, one of the most charismatic players in the history of the NBA (oh, and he was a player alright [chuckles]. But that man’s basketball opinions make me wonder if the NBA is also a ‘League of Denial.'”

Whether or not Bill Simmons directly played a role in Magic’s departure, there’s no doubt that “NBA Countdown” is about to stage its own “Ewing Theory” experiment. Also, the show adds more of an East Coast bias, as Magic departs and New Jersey native/Providence resident Doris Burke joins the team.

 

Listen, Simmons has practically memorized both The Godfather and The Godfather 2. He knows how this game is played. And he just placed Magic on a rowboat in the middle of Lake Tahoe. Capisce?

So, consider this near-future scenario:

A) Magic announces departure, as Simmons air-high fives Cousin Sal.

B) The Boston Red Sox advance to the World Series to face –don’t even wait for it–the Los Angeles Dodgers, who are partially owned by Magic Johnson.

C) Simmons calls up his ol’ “NBA Countdown” partner for tickets.

C) “Listen, Bill… yeah, we ain’t got no tickets.”

3. Colon Blow, Etc.

It’s easy to second-guess now, of course, but Oakland’s Bartolo Colon had the second-lowest ERA in the American League this season. Colon was rested and ready for Game 5, but manager Bob Melvin went with rookie Sonny Gray. I bet Colon and Craig Kimbrel could have a really interesting conversation right now. In what language, I’m not sure, but it would be interesting.

Justin Verlander pitched 6 and 2/3 innings of no-hit ball in Game 5 in Oakland last night before surrendering a base hit, one of two, in Detroit’s series-clinching victory. Verlander’s line for the series reads 15 innings pitched, 6 hits, no runs. It’s astounding that he got one No Decision and was one swing away from another last night. On the other hand, it’s difficult to beat an opponent when none of your hitters ever reach second base.

In eight of the 18 divisional series games played, or nearly half, the losing side scored one or fewer runs. Dominant pitching performances such as those by Verlander, or rookie Michael Wacha’s Game 4 gem for the Cardinals, in which he pitched no-hit ball into the eighth before surrendering a hit — a solo home run — are what decide series.

The A’s, by the way, may want to work on their plate discipline in the offseason. They whiffed a divisional series-record 57 times, which is the equivalent of two games plus one inning of strikeouts.

I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know, but as in hold-em, a pair of aces –“bullets” — is a great opening hand in the postseason. Rating the best pairs:

Tigers: Max Scherzer and Verlander. Oddly enough, Anibel Sanchez has a lower ERA this season than either of them.

Cardinals: Adam Wainwright and Wacha. Only because I’m not entirely sold on Zach Greinke.

Dodgers: Clayton Kershaw and Greinke.

Red Sox: Clay Bucholz and John Lackey.

I like Boston better than the other three squads to host a parade some time around Halloween, but only because the Sawx have the best shutdown relievers. Still, it’s intriguing. The most potent offense has the least effective one-two starting punch. We’ll see what happens.

4. The In-Laws

Our pal Rick Reilly did not just misquote anybody in his ESPN.com piece on the legitimacy of the “Redskins” name. Riles misquoted his father-in-law, second-wife edition, Bob Burns, who just happens to be Native American. At least that’s what Burns, a member of the Blackfeet (hey, that’s racist!) Tribe, claims in a letter to the Indian Country Today Media Network.

Did Riles massage or deliberately misinterpret a quote? Or did Burns begin to feel some heat from his Native American cronies and reconsider his words?

A message from this former fact-checker of Riles: You do not fact-check quotes. You fact-check the facts within a quote, but you do not fact-check opinions expressed. Why not? Because if every fact-checker asked anyone who ever made a potentially provocative statement if he or she actually said that before publication, what percentage of those comments do you think would ever make print?

All I know is that ESPN needs to televise “A Very Reilly Thanksgiving” next month. Will the Reilly tribe (oops, sorry) circle the wagons (oops, sorry again) or will Rick and Bob smoke ’em peace pipe (I just can’t help myself)?

5. Hold on. Soccer? Really?

Right there inside Sports Illustrated, senior writer Grant Wahl profiles Bob Bradley, the brother of one of my all-time favorite SI alums, Jeff Bradley (Leather Head baseball gloves make a terrific Christmas gift!) , in a piece entitled “American Pharoah.” Meanwhile, in Newsweek’s iPad edition, yours truly argues that the world’s greatest sports rivalry is taking place in the land of tapas and surrealist painters.

Reserves

True story: I’m at a restaurant in Hollywood in 2008 with FOMH Moose (of Moosenoos.com fame). We’re waiting for our table and seated at a small bar that has just four stools. In walks a couple and sits down next to us, the woman seated next to me, the man two stools over.. I nudge Moose and whisper, “That’s Ryan Reynolds!”

“Idiot,” she whispers back, “that’s Scarlett Johansson seated right next to you.”

I cannot be 100% sure that Moose uttered, “Idiot” (I don’t want Moose to go all Bob Burns on me here), but I imagine she was thinking it. Either way, I look forward to our next steak together.

The points being: 1) I often miss what’s right in front of me 2) If Charlize Theron or Jessica Biel sat next to me, I think I’d notice them, and 3) Van Wilder is super dreamy.

*******

The Minnesota Lynx are YOUR WNBA champions. The WNBA Finals mercifully ended in the minimum number of games, as the Lynx swept the Atlanta Dream. It’s been that kind of week in the Peachtree City.

******

Remote Patrol

Walking Dead Marathon

AMC 8 p.m.

Also, tomorrow ABC Noon

 

In honor of tomorrow’s Red River Rivalry, it would be a shame not to remind you about this satirical piece that appeared in Barking Carnival a few weeks ago. 66-17. Sounds about right. If you want to watch another “Walking Dead” marathon, it starts up again this evening at 8 p.m. and runs until 1 a.m. Then it returns Saturday afternoon at 1 p.m. in anticipation of Sunday night’s Season 4 premiere.

 

 

 

Starting Five

1.Blue Bloods

The St. Louis Cardinals ousted the Pittsburgh Pirates in Game 5 of their NLDS last night, which you already know. As it stands this morning the Cardinals will face the Los Angeles Dodgers in the NLCS, while the Boston Red Sox will meet the winner of tonight’s Detroit Tigers-Oakland Athletics Game 5.

In other words, the most successful franchises in baseball history are maintaining the status quo.

The New York Yankees, who scored their most important victory in months yesterday by retaining the services of manager Joe Girardi for four more years –at $16 million…that’s almost as much as Nick Saban earns! — have the most World Series appearances (40) and wins (27).

In terms of appearances, next up are the San Francisco Giants, with 19.

But after the Yanks and Giants, the next five teams with the most World Series appearances are the quintet that remain in this October’s postseason: Cardinals and Dodgers (18), Athletics (14), and Tigers and Red Sox (11).

Curiously enough, the next franchise in line after these seven? The Chicago Cubs, who have been stuck on 10 since 1945.

2. Another Budd Blooms

Remember Zola Budd? Even if you do not, ESPN informed those of you too young to recall the 1984 Olympics with this 30 For 30 Nine for IX film last August entitled “Runner.” As opposed to “Runner Runner”, which is an entirely different film.

Anyway, the South Africa native reproduced. Here, in the United States. And her daughter, Lisa Pieterse of Myrtle Beach’s Carolina Forest High School, is nearly as precociously talented (remember, mom competed in the Olympics at age 19). Last May as a sophomore Pieterse won the state championship in the 3,200-meter run (approx. 2 miles) with a time of 11:17.53.

This autumn, during cross-country season, Pieterse is opening eyes by breaking existing 5-K course records by as much as 90 seconds. While Budd’s daughter is not in Mary Cain’s class –the Bronxville (NY) High senior currently holds FIVE national high school track records– Pieterse still has two more seasons of spring high school track and field ahead of her. How bizarre would it be if Zola Budd’s daughter wound up competing for the U.S. Olympic team in 2020?

3. Tennessee and Virginia Tech To Trade Paint in 2016

 

The Volunteers and Hokies will play a football game at Bristol Motor Speedway in 2016.

From a geographic perspective, it makes tons of sense. Knoxville is 110 miles southwest of the NASCAR short track shrine, while Bristol is 125 miles northeast.

Honestly, this is genius. The South is thumbing its nose at Michigan and its college football record-115,109 attendance that the Wolverines had for last month’s game with Notre Dame. This contest could draw as many as 160,000 fans –it’ll be the gridiron equivalent of Bonnaroo.

The sideline reporter MUST be Dr. Jerry Punch, and I’m all for the NCAA allowing players to settle disputes by tossing helmets at one another. Also, uniforms may be festooned with as many corporate sponsors as possibly can fit.

The game is tentatively scheduled for September 10, 2016 –this dude’s 50th birthday. That’s scary (anyone who knows me will tell you I don’t behave a day older than 12).

I’m not sure how the asphalt track itself will play into seating, etc., but I do hope that if there’s a major collision late in the game –and it’s football, so there probably will be –that the game is not completed under a yellow flag.

4. What’s the Matter, Horn?

This is like no Disney movie you’ve ever seen.

An entire cast and crew spent 25 days shooting a film, guerrilla-style, at both Disney World and Disneyland, without anyone from the Magic Kingdom catching on. The result is a dark indie film, Escape From Tomorrow, about a family of four (it’s always a family of four) in which the dad learns on the first day of the family vacation to Walt’s paradise that he has been laid off.

So far Disney has wisely decided not to attempt to block the film, which will be released tomorrow, but the writer and director, Randy Moore, can no longer get espn.com on his mobile. I kid. I think. Anyway, here is Moore narrating how a scene was shot for the New York Times.

5. Sheryl Crows to Feds

The latest person to come out as a witness against Lance Armstrong-enough-to-be-my-man (well, there’s a hint for you)? Ex-girlfriend and recording star Sheryl Crow, who told federal investigators that she watched the six-time Tour de France champion receive a blood transfusion in 2005. According to secret documents obtained by Medium Happy, the conversation went a little like this:

Lance: “God, I feel like hell tonight…”

Sheryl: “Of course you do. Every day is a winding road.”

Lance: “I’ve got no one to blame for every time I feel lame.”

Sheryl: “You know, hon, it’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.”

Lance: “Such a muddy line between the things you want and the things you have to do.”

(Places IV into arm)

Sheryl: “That’s cool. I like a good beer buzz early in the morning.”

Lance: “If it makes you happy, then it can’t be that bad.”

 

Meanwhile, Outside magazine heralds a new documentary, “The Amstrong Lie”, as “the first and last Lance pic you’ll ever need to see.”

Remote Patrol

Game 5, Detroit Tigers at Oakland Athletics

TBS 8:07 p.m.

***

Rutgers at No. 8 Louisville

ESPN 7:30 p.m.

***

Arizona at Southern California

Fox Sports 1 10:30 p.m.

Let’s go channel-surfing now, everyone is learning how… Begin with Teddy Bridgewater and the Cardinals, who face a 4-1 Rutgers team that took Fresno State to overtime earlier this season. It’s not that we are THAT high on the Scarlet Knights, but we are all willing to manufacture reasons to believe someone on the ‘ville’s schedule is a quality opponent. Then it’s off to Justin Verlander versus Sonny Gray, getting the start for the A’s in Game 5 ahead of the team’s veteran ace, Bartolo Colon. Finally, how will the post-Lane Kiffin Trojans fare against an Arizona squad whose only defeat was on the road at U-Dub? All-American WR Marqise Lee is “very questionable” (is that better or worse than Dan LeBatard?) for the Fighting Fight Ons.

 

Starting Five

1. Head Games 

(The judges will accept no other Foreigner album title tracks as item heds, although we will consider “4” for No. 4…but only if it is, you know… urgent)

Is the editorial staff at Medium Happy prepared to acknowledge that last night’s PBS Frontline documentary, “League of Denial“, sacked the NFL’s integrity for a 12-yard loss? We don’t know. We’re going to need to see more data. The research is not conclusive. That’s why we’ll  keep throwing money at the researchers. We’ll leave it to the scientists…unless they report that it did sack the league’s integrity, in which case we’ll find other scientists.

Most damning: Dr. Ann McKee, a neuropathologist and the head of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) research at Boston University (she has a serious job so she definitely should be a member of the College Football championship selection committee), has examined the brains of 46 former NFL players, and 45 of them showed signs of CTE. That’s in the 98% range.

Also, why didn’t anyone tell me there was a pro wrestler named Chris Harvard, an actual Crimson alum who wore a giant “H” on his scarlet huggy shorts? How did I not know this?

To summarize: Football is bad for your brain. It’s also the most popular sport in America by far. Many of the young men who play it enjoy it, sure, but also come from backgrounds that are averse to wealth, or even stability. Football provides them an opportunity, most often their only (legal) opportunity, to acquire, as Michael Wilbon put it on another program yesterday, “transformative wealth.” So even if they watch “League of Denial” enough times to make their heads hurt, will it really change their minds?

Or, as NFL Hall of Fame linebacker Harry Carson said in discussing the league’s settlement with the former players who sued it, “The NFL gave you 756 million reasons why you should not play football.”

2. He’s a Clowney, but He Ain’t No Clown

From the Department of Seamless Segues…

…Jadeveon Clowney has at least 20 million reasons not to play another down of college football.

Earlier this week ESPN’s –and Birmingham’s own — Paul Finebaum called Jadeveon Clowney, the precociously talented South Carolina defensive end whose performances this season have either been perfunctory or, like last Saturday, non-existent, “the biggest joke in college football.” Danny Kanell, another ESPN analyst whose father is a doctor and probably never had to worry about who’d be paying the rent, said, “At least give it a try. Are you putting yourself ahead of the team?”

Finebaum expanded, “The last time I checked, this is college football.”

The last time I checked, South Carolina raised its ticket prices $6 per game this season, largely due to the enormous popularity of Clowney, whose Outback Bowl hit on a Michigan running back last New Year’s Day remains arguably 2013’s most YouTube-able sports moment (Jon Gruden: “Clowney IGNITES himself into the backfield!”)

I’m not arguing that South Carolina should pay Clowney. But, after last year’s Outback Bowl hit –and Clowney’s first two stellar seasons — the South Carolina native would likely have been the No. 1 overall pick in last April’s NFL draft (instead of….drumroll, please… Central Michigan’s Eric Fisher).

Clowney is the kid who already aced his MCATs, scored higher than anyone in the nation, and now you want to compel him return for his senior year when all he wants to do is start medical school? Why?

 

Last year Clowney’s Gamecock teammate, running back Marcus Lattimore, was easily the squad’s most highly coveted NFL talent. Then, in a game against Tennessee, Lattimore tore his knee to shreds. It is brutal to watch. Lattimore, a probable first-round talent, fell all the way to the fourth round. He is on the Niners’ “Reserve/Non-Injury” football list. The injury cost him millions.

So here’s Jadeveon Clowney, the most celebrated player in college football who isn’t named Johnny…and he plays a position where he’ll have contact every play…and often be double-teamed by a collective 600 pounds of humanity, half of which may very well be aiming at his knees…and he is looking at a minimum of $10 to $20 million (or more) if he remains healthy versus a mere fraction of that –or nothing at all — if he should suffer a devastating knee injury.

Finebaum said that Clowney’s reluctance to play “sends a bad message” to the rest of college football. False. Clowney is a proven NFL-caliber talent who will, if healthy, fall no lower than fifth in next spring’s draft. Gamecock fans would love to think that Clowney, and many of his brethren, are playing for the love of “Rah Rah U!”, but that’s false.

The rare superstars such as Clowney, or USC wide receiver Marquise Lee, are serving their NFL internships, and that’s how they view it. If the NFL simply rescinded the three-years-past-high school rule, Clowney and his coach, Steve Spurrier, would not have this problem. And “Paawwwwwwwl” wouldn’t look like such a shill for the NCAA and college football and ESPN by referrring to him as “the biggest joke.’ The last time I checked, Mr. Finebaum is paid very handsomely by more than one employer for his “keen insights.”

3. The Chronicle of Reddick

The Oakland Athletics’ Josh Reddick swung– and missed — at ball four last night and that may have made all the difference in the A’s-Tigers ALDS. Detroit’s Max Scherzer was pitching in relief –yes, the A.L.’s likely Cy Young Award winner, with a 21-3 record–and had allowed the Athletics to load the bases with no outs in the eighth inning of a contest that Detroit led by the score of 5-4 at the time.

Scherzer had gotten himself into the jam, walking two batters to jam the bases with Vowels. Then came Reddick, who had doubled in the 4th inning. It’s a 3-2 count with no outs and all you want to do is make contact. After throwing six straight fastballs, two of which Reddick fouled off, Scherzer and catcher Alex Avila decided to toss Reddick a change-up. It was low and inside, virtually in the dirt, but Reddick swung wildly –and missed.

Not that you can blame him.

“He definitely swung at (ball four)l,” Avila told MLB.com. “It’s hard to lay off a pitch there when you’ve seen six fastballs. Reddick had a great at-bat. I’ll say nine guys out of 10 swing at that pitch — and if he takes it, he’s lucky.”

Scherzer, by the way, has now retired all 13 batters this season whom he has faced with the bases loaded. That’s one way to get to 21-3.

Game 5, Thursday in Oakland, and I doubt Jim Leyland is going to pull Justin Verlander early this time.

4. Time Out for Fun (that’s for all you Devo fans)

Okay, kids, here’s a game for all of you who are obsessed with college football. There are, by my count, 22 (correction, 23; thanks to Greg Auman) different mascot names that are at least partly shared by two or more schools. By “partly” I mean that at least one word in a two-word term is identical. Can you guess them? Answer after No. 5

5. Is John Boehner Gary Cooper?

 

You think I’m providing this exchange between ABC’s George Snuffleupagus and House Speaker John Boehner to showcase the latter’s intractable nature and disingenuous side–

Boehner: “Clearly there was a conversation about doing this —

George: “Several conversations.”

Boehner: “Several.”

Point, Snuffleupagus.

But, actually, I’m wondering if you’ve ever noticed how much Boehner sounds like (and even physically resembles) the actor who starred in “Pride of the Yankees” and “High Noon?“ Listen.

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Answers to No. 4….

 

Aggies: New Mexico State, Texas A&M, Utah State

Bobcats: Ohio and Texas State

Bears: Baylor and (Golden) California –but not UCLA

Broncos: Boise State and Western Michigan

Bulldogs: Fresno State, Georgia, La. Tech and Mississippi State

Bulls: Buffalo and South Florida

Cardinals: Louisville and Ball State –but not Stanford

Cougars: BYU, Houston and Washington State

Cowboys: Oklahoma State and Wyoming

Devils: (Sun) Arizona State and (Blue) Duke

Eagles: Boston College, (Golden) Southern Miss and Eastern Michigan

Falcons: Air Force Academy and Bowling Green

Hurricanes: Miami and (Golden) Tulsa

Huskies: Connecticut, Northern Illinois and Washington

Owls: Florida Atlantic, Rice and Temple

Panthers: (Golden) Florida International, Georgia State and Pittsburgh

Raiders: (Blue) Middle Tennessee and (Red) Texas Tech

Rebels: Ole Miss and (Runnin’) UNLV

Spartans: San Jose State and Michigan State

Tigers: Auburn, Clemson, LSU, Memphis and Missouri

Trojans: USC and Troy

 

Wildcats: Arizona, Kansas State, Kentucky and Northwestern

Wolfpack: (One word) North Carolina State and (two words) Nevada

So that’s 59 (again, thanks to GA) schools, or nearly half the FBS, who have a mascot that is not unique. And there are like, what, at least three million different species of animals. Not to mention that Irishmen are hardly the only bellicose ethnic group. No school wants to be a shark? A hippo? A crocodile? Even a lion? ” One of those “Tiger” schools should definitely consider changing to “Flesh-Eating Bacteria”, or “FEBs”.

Reserves

The highest-paid player on YOUR N.L. wildcard Pittsburgh Pirates? That would be pitcher A.J. Burnett, who is well-rested for today’s decisive NLDS Game 5 in St. Louis. Except that Burnett will not get the start. Because, you know, he allowed seven runs in just two innings of the series opener, a 9-1 loss, back in Budweiserville. And, well, manager Clint Hurdle is probably aware of Burnett’s history with the Yankees. Burnett has a career ERA of 3.99 but his postseason ERA is 6.37.

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I like Dennis Dodd and I enjoy his writing –and I need to state that so I don’t sound like a COMPLETE jerk for what I am about to write (moderate jerk will do) — but the logic on this column about the rumored members of the College Football Championship Selection Committee appears, unless Dennis was aiming for satire, flawed.

It begins with an anecdote about how Dodd himself was put in his place for joking about “Condi” (apparently, that’s “Dr. Rice” to the rest of us) to a man who would later lead a major college football program to an 0-12 season.

That man, , is Tyrone Willingham, is like Rice also rumored to be headed to the College Football Selection Committee.

Dodd mentions retired Air Force Lt. General Michael Gould, another selection committee member, and asks, “How do you ask… a man who has spent a life training men to go to war, why Boise State didn’t get in?”

Like this: “Lt. General, how did Boise State not get in?”

After reading the roster, Dodd writes, nothing the number of degrees and medals and huzzah-huzzahs that the committee members will have, football just doesn’t seem that important.

IT IS TO ME! And a lot of other people. Honestly, does Ari Fleischer deserve this byline? If the point is that we shouldn’t assail the committee’s credibility to assess which four schools should make a playoff because they are accomplished and renowned in other walks of life, I’ll ask Dennis to go visit any of them if he ever needs a root canal. Because, you know, after someone has guided a cruise missile toward a country that in fact did NOT possess weapons of mass destruction, who are you to wonder aloud if this is going to hurt?

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Jason Gay of the Wall Street Journal on the NFL requiring its teams to participate in HBO’s “Hard Knocks”: “So basically ‘Hard Knocks’ has become the NFL’s version of jury duty.”

 

Remote Patrol

Game 5, NLDS

Pittsburgh Pirates at St. Louis Cardinals

TBS 8:07 p.m.

The Cards are 7-1 the past three years when facing postseason elimination. The Pirates are….1992…. Sid Bream….NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!