The latest installment in the Amazingly Fraudulent and Deceitful Adventures of Donald Trump was dropped by Buzzfeed yesterday. The news site is reporting that Trump directed Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about his involvement with the Russians in 2016 regarding negotiations to build Trump Tower Moscow. Trump allegedly directed Cohen to lie to Congress after the election which, you can ask Richard Nixon’s Ghost, is a big no-no.
But again, we have to ask, Will the Teflon Don skate past on this as well? As long as Mitch McConnell holds the U.S. Senate hostage (and as long as Rudy “When I said ‘No Collusion’ all those times, here’s what I actually mean” Giulani and Trump keep moving the goalposts), will any of this matter?
The first article of impeachment against Nixon was just this: obstruction by directing others to lie. This is not hysteria or hyperventilating. It’s history.
Funny thought here: None of this Cohen testimony, which should ultimately take down this president, comes off without the Stormy Daniels scandal, which the Wall Street Journal uncovered exactly one year ago, taking place (yes, there was a time in America when no one knew who Michael Avenatti was). So, just think: If Trump doesn’t get his schwerve on in Tahoe while Melania is home breast-feeding Barron, maybe Cohen is never investigated and maybe there’s no cause to seize all of Cohen’s records and computers and all of this stuff remains hidden.
Stormy: The blonde bombshell who launched a thousand news bombshells
Right about now you have to think Donald Trump wishes Stormy had just taken Ben Roethlisberger up on his indecent proposal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEEskm25UGA
Would this be a fitting end for Trump, McConnell, the Kushners, Rudy, et al?
2. Avalanche at Taos
As a town and as a ski resort, located in remote northern New Mexico, is a hidden gem. Yesterday it became a danger zone, as an in-bounds avalanche buried two skiers. The snow slide happened right before noon on Kachina Peak’s K-3 chute. At first both men were in critical condition but one is now reported to have died.
3. Deep Blue Something
Divers attracted by tiger sharks feeding from a decomposing sperm whale off the coast of Oahu got a big surprise when what’s estimated to be a 20-foot long great white shark arrived at the party.
Dubbed “Deep Blue” by the divers, she is believed to be more than 20 feet long and as much as 8 feet wide, the largest great white ever encountered. Also, she’s pregnant. Is her boyfriend even bigger?
And…
4. Gym-tastic
When she was 15, UCLA gymnast Katelyn Ohashi defeated Simone Biles in the American Cup. The next few years would see Ohashi’s career derailed by injuries and doubt while Biles went on to win FOUR gold medals in Rio.
Last weekend, however, Ohashi, now a senior at UCLA performed a floor routine that earned her a perfect 10.0 and millions of YouTube views, a product of the artistry of the routine and the unfettered joy the 4’10” Seattle native displayed while performing (keep an eye on how much fun her teammates are having in the background).
The Bruins are defending national champions.
5. Ja Rules
Chances are the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Phoenix Suns will have the first two picks in next June’s NBA draft and chances are they’ll be too afraid to go against the grain not to select Duke’s top two players (R.J. Barrett and Zion Williamson, or reverse the order if you like).
Has Luka Doncic taught us nothing? The most electrifying player in college basketball this season may be Murray State sophomore Ja Morant, who dare I say has a shade of MJ in him. The Racers’ 6’3″ dude leads the nation in assists (10.7) and averages 23.7 ppg while putting on a show. The South Carolina native is the most exciting player in the Bluegrass State this winter, which has to chap Kentucky and Louisville fans.
The Racers are 14-2 on the season, their only losses at Iron Bowl compatriots Alabama and Auburn. Someone is going to pick Morant, whom we see as a De’Aaron Fox type, in the top five picks in June.
Their fans will be giddy. Watch this from last night.
Music 101
Complicated
How dated is Avril Lavigne‘s breakout video? Before the song even begins, she asks “Dude, you wanna crash the mall?” The Canadian songstress, only 15 when her debut smash hit soared to No. 2 in 2002, arrived at the very tail end of MTV/VH1 airing videos that actually mattered. Or maybe we just got old. I dunno.
Remote Patrol
Supersonic
Netflix
Basically, it’s the “Behind The Music” Oasis documentary that was never made by VH1. We watched this and were fascinated. The Gallagher brothers were Manchester hooligans except for the fact that Noel is a genius as a songsmith and Liam has a born-to-be-rock star voice and attitude. They were simply destined to make it because of that alchemy, but were so discordant personally that it was destined to crash. “Noel has a lot of buttons,” says one close observer. “Liam has a lot of fingers.”
Very, very few bands came along in the Nineties with as much pure talent as Oasis (Nirvana and who else? Pearl Jam? RCHP? Maybe) and they really could’ve been the biggest band in the world even longer if (let’s be honest here) Liam wasn’t such a walking personality crisis.
On the same day that Alabama’s Jalen Hurts announced he was transferring to Oklahoma, Oklahoma at last relented and allowed last year’s backup quarterback, Austin Kendall, to transfer to Big 12 rival West Virginia. Kyler Murray could’ve started at OU next season, but he was headed to play for the Oakland A’s, until he announced that he would put his name in for the NFL draft…although he may still wind up playing for the A’s.
Brandon Wimbush announced that he is transferring from Notre Dame (he already graduated) to UCF. Yesterday, Ohio State’s Tate Martell selected Miami because earlier this month Justin Fields had announced he was transferring to Ohio State.
Are you a football program or a starter wife?
2. White Men Can’t…………Refrain From Behaving Like Jackasses
I’m sorta waiting for Andy Staples to post 2,000 words on this photo
Okay, not ALL white men. Mostly middle-aged and older white men. With money.
Today’s roster: Interim Michigan State president John Engler resigned after he was quoted telling the Detroit Free Press that Dr. Larry Nassar’s sexual assault victims were “enjoying the spotlight”….In Washington, D.C., Vice President Mike Pence told the Global Chiefs of Mission Conference at the State Department,”The caliphate has crumbled, and ISIS has been defeated.” This just a few hours after four U.S. soldiers were killed in a bomb blast in Syria for which ISIS has taken credit…You’re familiar with Steve King…And I’m sure I’ve probably said or done or tweeted something in the past 24 hours to royally piss someone off…
Anyway, it’s not that I’m prejudiced against middle-aged white men, it’s just that they give me so few reasons each day to believe in them. We should be building walls around Home Depots and members-only golf clubs.
I’m beginning to sound like a Gillette commercial, aren’t I?
3. Back Up Against A Wall
One woman, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, tells President Trump that as long as the government shut down exists, the State of the Union (SOTU) cannot take place due to safety concerns.
Another woman, conservative harridan Ann Coulter, appears on a podcast for The Daily Caller (it was taped before Christmas) and says, “(Donald Trump) is dead in the water if he doesn’t build that wall. Dead, dead, dead.”
What a bizarre feeling, to have no cover where you are currently stationed but to face hostility if you attempt to progress. I wonder if any illegal immigrant has ever contended with such a dilemma.
4. Thunder Buddies*
*The judges will also accept “Let’s Stray Together”
I would’ve loved to see Barbaro finish the Preakness and run the Belmont. Would’ve loved to have seen Mary Decker and Zola Budd sprint the final 100 meters at the 1984 Summer Olympics…would’ve loved to see Len Bias team up with Larry Bird and Kevin McHale…to see and Tai and Randy skate in 1980…to see Roberto Clemente‘s 3,001st hit. And I particularly would’ve loved to see Kevin Durant, James Harden and Russell Westbrook spend their entire careers together in Oklahoma City.
Yes, yes, yes. I get that these individuals get to do what’s best for themselves. But what would have been best for the NBA, and maybe even when they get past the age of 50 or 60 they’ll think, perhaps even for themselves, would’ve been if they had stayed together. Russ, the 2017 MVP, leads the league in assists and steals. Durant, the 2018 NBA Finals MVP, is fourth in scoring. And Harden, the reigning MVP, just put up 58 last night, two nights after scoring 57. He’s averaging 42 ppg in January.
These are, by any calculation, three of the six best players in the league. And they all entered with the same franchise within a year or three of one another. What a decade-plus run this would’ve been. Of all the missed moments of greatness listed above, this is the only one that was unable to happen because of, well, greed. The rest were accidents, illnesses or death. This was all about getting paid.
And that’s fine. It’s just that maybe these three missed out on something better than that.
Yes, we are cognizant of the fact that we’ve broached this subject before. We’re sorry if it sounds as if we’re beating a dead horse (no offense, Barbaro), but we’re just not over it. As sports fans, we never will be. And we’re not even OKC fans. It’s just that something this organically perfect should not have been messed with. Serendipitous events like this happen so rarely in sports, particularly for small-market franchises, which depend on serendipity.
Currently there are a few of what the British would refer to as “television presenters” who truly stand out for me. Ben Mankiewicz at TCM. Brian Williams at MSNBC. Ernie Johnson at TNT. At ESPN, Rece Davis and this man, Scott Van Pelt.
I’ve never met SVP in person. A few years back we spoke on the phone for a story. This was during a period when Mr. Softee trucks were engaging in heated competition with a rival on the streets of Manhattan and it had turned violent. This is exactly the sort of bizarre tale of human misadventure that SVP finds fascinating, so we spoke briefly about that. A few minutes after our convo I passed a Mr. Softee truck, so I texted him a photo with a caption like, “Cover me, I’m gonna try to make it across Amsterdam Ave.”
Scott sent back a witty reply. Once a year or so, I’ll see a Mr. Softee truck and send him a pic, trying to amuse him. Again, he’s never met me and I’m a nobody, but he always promptly returns a funny line. He’s one of the good ones. Maybe the best of them.
Music 101
I Got A New Girl Now
It was the mid-Eighties and Hair Metal was flourishing in long, frosted waves. Canadian band Honeymoon Suite had a mild hit with this trudging rocker in 1984. Three years later Guns ‘n Roses would come along and toss the curling irons out of the dressing rooms, putting all of these bands to eternal shame.
Remote Patrol
Lakers-Thunders
9:30 p.m. TNT
Russell Westbrook has cooled down as a scorer (21.7 ppg), but he still leads the league in both assists and steals. As for the Lakers, LeGone is still not back,
Note: How did we miss “House Of Carbs” as the headline for Item No. 1 yesterday? We failed you. We’re sorry.
Starting Five
1. Brexit Strategy*
*The judges also fancy “Come What May”
Poor Theresa May. The British Prime Minister is trying to break up with Europe, but she just cannot find the right words. May’s Brexit proposal, which was ratified in general by 52% of the popular vote in 2016, suffered a most resounding defeat in particular in the House of Commons, 432-202, yesterday. And Parliament didn’t even attempt any three-pointers.
We realize this and William Barr and Steve King is a lot less fun to talk about than Happy Meals in the White House, but it’s all a part of a bigger story: the wave of white nationalism—I’m sorry, I mean “Western Civilization”— that crested with Donald Trump’s election in 2016 but now seems to be on the wane. Could it be that common white folk are just tired of being afraid and hostile all the time? One hopes.
2. Wahoo’s Next?
Jack Salt’s hometown is the Eisenhower Era…
The Who are planning another tour. So are the Wahoos of Virginia, who defeated Virginia Tech in the first-ever matchup of top ten schools from the Commonwealth last night, 81-59. The Cavs are 16-0 and uh-oh, we’ve all seen this play before. No. 4 UVA, one of two unbeatens left in the country (the other is Michigan) hosts No. 1 Duke on Saturday in Charlottesville.
When healthy, Duke starts four freshmen. Virginia starts no freshmen but three nouns: Salt (Jack), Guy (Kyle) and Hunter (De’Andre).
3. Area 51
The Golden State Warriors are like the parents who are about to have their seventh child and are as nonchalant about getting to the hospital on time and the lamaze classes as they’d be about making a trip to CVS. The Dubs, who entered last night with the second-best record in the Western Conference, visited the Denver Nuggets, who had the best record, and promptly hung an NBA-record 51 first-quarter points on them.
Daddy’s home.
The final score was 142-111 as KD, Steph and Klay combined to drain 18 three-pointers. The Dubs woke up with the best record in the West (30-14 to Denver’s 29-14) this morning. Let the season begin.
4. Heis
Wanted to say a few words about recently and reluctantly retired (for now) Notre Dame associate athletic director John Heisler, who just departed after more than four decades on the job. John was a tremendous asset to the Fighting Irish for 41 years and, for a couple of generations of sportswriters, the true ambassador of the school’s athletic programs. He has an army of acolytes in the press box because he is always professional, always honest and, if you got to know him well enough, has a wickedly dry sense of humor.
I never knew Heis (like “Rice”) as an Irish undergrad (I barely wrote for The Observer), but I met him soon after arriving at Sports Illustrated. Like, within the first month. In those years Notre Dame was, with Miami, the top dog in CFB. Heis was the person to whom you spoke about anything ND-related and I was the college football fact-checker at SI. A long and trusting relationship began.
In the past decade, Heis’ and my relationship grew in a wonderful way. As Notre Dame pushed him out from day-to-day projects, John took over (created? I’m not sure) an extraordinary annual project, an anthology book of profiles of Notre Dame sports people called “Strong Of Heart.” John first plucked me to work on these in 2010 and I’ve done two or three for him each year since. It’s my favorite annual project.
Every year Heis and I can go months without speaking or emails. Then September comes and one of us emails about the project. I’ll shoot an idea or two to Heis, he’ll shoot me down, and then he’ll come back with a few suggestions and tell me to pick two (he’s known me long enough not to give me three, if he ever wants the book published on time).
Thanks to Heis, I’ve met a plethora of fascinating Notre Dame folks. Spent an afternoon with the woman who created the “Play Like A Champion Today” sign. Spoken for hours upon hours on the phone with Rudy Ruettiger. Profiled Ryan Shay, which is why I now touch his bench whenever I go on a run in Central Park. Spoke at length to my classmate Nicholas Sparks, whose own success story is better than most Nicholas Sparks novels. And, again thanks to John, spent a wonderful day with former Irish wide receiver Thom Gatewood and his lovely wife Susan and now consider the two of them dear and close friends. Thom is truly as kind and classy a man as I’ve ever met.
I owe John Heisler a great debt for this project, and it’s allowed our friendship to grow deeper. I truly don’t know why Notre Dame let him go so unceremoniously: I’ve looked for a tweet of gratitude from the school’s official athletic site. Nothing. For something on the athletics home page. Again, nothing.
That, I just don’t understand (while admitting I’m not on the ground in South Bend). On the one hand, for anyone to be able to work for the same employer for 41 years, well, good on them for being a fantastic employee but you’re also somewhat blessed. Too many of us, especially in the sports industry, have learned that there is no loyalty in this business no matter how great an employee you are. Still, from afar it seems as if Notre Dame could have handled his exodus more graciously.
John’s a class act. And a good and smart man. Notre Dame will miss him.
Honestly, this is how we feel when we really gotta go but we still know we’ve got to put the key in both downstairs doors in our building, then climb five flights of stairs, then we get into the apartment and into the bathroom, zip down and….ahhhhhh. We feel you, Mr. Whale.
Music 101
Rock Around The Clock
If this wasn’t the birth of rock and roll on television—no, wait, it was. Elvis may have been the baptism, but this appearance by Bill Haley & His Comets on Milton Berle’s Texaco Star Theater on May 31, 1955 was the first communion between rock and roll and television. Six weeks later, on July 9, 1955, this song would become the first rock-and-roll tune to hit No. 1 on the Billboard charts. Almost one month later, on Sunday, August 7, Haley and the Comets became the first of many iconic rock acts to perform on The Ed Sullivan Show.
Remote Patrol
East Of Eden
8 p.m. TCM
Too fast to live/Too young to die/Bye bye. James Dean, the original Brad Pitt, was only 24 when he passed. Before doing so, he had three major roles: In Giant (his last film, 1956 release), in Rebel Without A Cause (his signature film, October ’55 release) and in this, his breakout role (March ’55 release). Of the three, this is the only movie that was in theaters before Dean died in an auto accident not far from this film’s Salinas, Calif., setting, on Sept. 30, 1955. Before landing the role in this movie directed by the legendary Elia Kazan, Dean had to meet and get the approval of this classic novel’s author: John Steinbeck.
He was nominated, but did not win, for a Best Actor Oscar posthumously for this role: the first time the Academy Awards ever did this.
*The judges will also accept “The Dollar Menu Starts Here” and “The Fast Supper”
As someone who in the past may have exhibited a slight disinclination to take the side of Donald J. Trump, I want to make one thing clear: I am not FURIOUS over last night’s White House reception for the Clemson football team, where the best of McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King et al was served. I’m not TRIGGERED. But I do feel it necessary to expound on how what might have been a kitschy idea became a major fail (even Clemson players going through the buffet line were snickering, “I thought this was a joke.”).
1.) If you’re going to serve fast food and make it casual, get a note out to a team official that the players and coaches should dress casual. That Clemson players and staff were all in suits as they snarfed down Whoppers and Big Macs was just plain wrong. If the food is casual, so too should be the dress.
2) For a guy who spends as much time on Twitter as President Trump does, it’s amazing how oblivious he is to fast food trends. Trump basically ordered what Seventies Dad considered cool fast food because Trump’s mind has never really evolved, culturally or intellectually, from the Mid-Eighties. If you’re gonna go fast food for college football players in 2019, you go Chick-fil-A, Chipotle, Popeye’s and Shake Shack (In-n-Out not being on the East Coast).
3) You know what McDonald’s does as soon as it cooks and wraps a burger? It places it under a heating lamp until it is served. I’ve been both part of sports teams who placed massive orders and of a serving staff that’s filled them, and so I appreciate how hard it is to both FILL a big order AND keep the food warm. This never occurred to Donald J. Trump.
Figure how long it took to make all that food for any one restaurant. Some of the burgers were already sitting and waiting as other burgers were being cooked. Then you drive it over to the White House. Then it sits on trays until the team enters. That’s a minimum, MINIMUM, of 20 minutes. Go to your local McD’s or BK today, order a burger, then sit and wait 20 minutes before you take your first bite. Tell me how it tastes. WHY WEREN’T THERE FOOD-WARMER TRAYS, the kind you’d find at any halfway-decent Marriott or Sheraton hosting a buffet lunch for the local State Farm office managers’ meeting?
“Supersize Me?” Dexter Lawrence is 6’5″, 340. That horsemeat has already left the barn.
So what, with the government furlough and all, was Donald Trump supposed to do, you ask? Lots of things. First, you might have delayed Clemson’s visit. Smart, and wait for spring when you can do a Rose Garden reception outside. Second, you could have appreciated that you don’t have any expertise/experience in personally hosting large groups of people, and you might have called someone from the hospitality staff at the nearby Trump Hotel in D.C. and put them in charge of this.
I’ll only mention as an aside that Fox News would have destroyed President Obama for disgracing the White House this way and there would’ve been a snide remark or two dozen about how “this is what black people like to eat.” I’m not going there. Like I said, this could have been a cute idea and also highlighted great American companies. But Donald Trump is congenitally incapable of thinking about others and he’s not very good at accepting that he doesn’t know everything. So he just thought, What do I like to eat? and then figured out the simplest way to make that happen times 100 and voila!, this is what you get.
It’s not that the fast food idea sucked. It’s that its execution was one more revelatory incident into how Trump’s mind functions. He doesn’t follow through well. He slots everything into his worldview, which includes an incapability of appreciation that it’s no longer 1985 (he probably thinks everyone on that team knows who Madonna is). And, well, he’s a buffoon.
The denouement of this moment would be the Clemson team managers handing out Chick-fil-A meals to the players as they boarded the plane back to campus. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did that.
2. Taking Their Cuse
Syracuse entered Cameron Indoor and 11-5 and unranked. Duke entered 14-1 and the number one team in the nation. The Blue Devils’ top three players—Zion Williamson, R.J. Barrett and Cam Reddish—are all freshmen and are the top three names you’ll find in many a 2019 NBA mock draft. Also, the Blue Devils were 104-0 at home as the number-one team in the nation against every school except North Carolina.
So what happened? Reddish was sick, point guard Tre Jones separated his shoulder in the first half (he’s out indefinitely; and no one is shedding tears for Coach K) and Duke could not hit from beyond the arc against the Orange’s 2-3 zone. Williamson did pour in a freshman-record 35 points for the Blue Devils, but the Battle-ing Boeheims win in OT, 95-91.
3. SportsBall
Would we do an entire segment on SportsBall as to why this is such an antiquated practice and how we already have the technology to improve upon it? You betcha.
So we had this idea two days ago and we were going to post it on Twitter, but we’re doing our best to tweet less in 2019 (New Year’s resolutions and all) and besides, we’d rather share it just with you. So, here’s our idea for a refreshingly different sports show that might appear on the ESPN or the FS1: SportsBall.
What would it be about? Well, it would be more about the actual games themselves and less about the personalities and the personality-driven drama that you see on most of the ESPN and FS1 daytime programming.
Examples of what we would have: 1) An examination of how Pete Maravich was able to average at least 43.8 points per game for three straight seasons at LSU without benefit of a shot clock or the three-point stripe 2) A “Meet the Sacramento Kings” segment 3) Debate on whether the NBA would work better as a “4-on-4” game (more shifts as players would be gassed sooner), 4) A piece on how college football players put in time beyond their 20-hour mandated weeks, 5) A question as to why no one else has copied the successful Green Bay Packers model (I’m still feeling you, Billings Bighorns).
Examples of what we would not have: 1) Any GOAT conversations, 2) Almost all of the LeBron drama 3) Speculations on what coaches should be fired, 4) Anything remotely related to Lavar Ball.
A segment such as Scott Van Pelt’s “Bad Beats” would be welcome on SportsBall. A debate as to whether or not Russell Westbrook is selfish would be unwelcome.
Whaddaya think? Who wants to throw money at us?
4. Superhero
Yesterday afternoon I read a pice in The Ringer by Sean Fennessey about how “This is the most wide-open Best Picture race in years” and that it may be because “we don’t even know what Best Picture means.”
I know what it means, Sean. It means that film that makes the hairs on your forearms stand at attention as you watch it, at least in certain parts. That movie that may bring you to the brink of tears but if not that, brings out your strongest GENUINE feelings (I ALL CAPS genuine because Three Billboards was outstanding at manipulating its audience with faux feelings and issues, etc.; it was horribly disingenuous and I hated it hated it hated it and I think enough voters felt the same way I did last year, but were afraid to say so, which is why it got all that buzz but then a compromise candidate such as The Shape Of Water, a film no one cares to see again, won).
Enter Free Solo, a documentary about climber Alex Honnold, who in June of 2017 became the first human being to climb 3,200-foot rock face El Capitan (in Yosemite Park) without any equipment except the limbs and appendages God gave him, a good pair of rubberized soles and a chalk bag.
Let’s get the easy stuff out of the way first: This is a shoo-in for Best Documentary and it should also win Best Cinematography and Best Score (I haven’t been moved by a score that fit its moment this much since James Franco’s “escape” scene in 127 Hours). Is this the Best Picture of 2018, overall? I’ve seen every “worthy” film except Black Panther and Bohemian Rhapsody and for me, excepting those two, it is. Without question.
I saw Free Solo at an IMAX where I sat through four consecutive super hero film previews (Shazam, Alita, Captain Marvel and Hellboy) and increasingly became more and more depressed about what this says about Fascism, authoritarianism (“Save the world!” is a popular tagline), Hollywood’s sensibility about how dumb its audiences are and how desperately in need they are of someone with superhuman power to escape them (cue: hopeless economic and societal times). You can write an entire Phd thesis about what the epidemic of these films (and their box-office-boffo success) says about society at large.
Then Free Solo began. No CGI. No extraordinary powers, excepting will. There was even superhero backstory (a dysfunctional family where our hero never heard the word “love” and never learned to hug), a supportive but distracting and pretty girlfriend and our hero finding a rare moment of self-doubt.
Then comes the climb. It lasts, in film time, about 15 or so minutes (the entire climb took 3 hours and 56 minutes). I looked around at my fellow patrons and if you go I encourage you to do the same at this juncture in the movie. Look at where people put their hands. You’ll see people with a hand over their mouth, or as a visor at their forehead, or near their throat or even heart.
It’s suspense. It’s terror. Deep down we know he’s going to make it (we’d have read about it if he hadn’t) but watching a human being do what Honnold does here, playing with death at every new hold or reach, evokes something so visceral and real. For me, hands down, it’s the Best Picture of the year.
It’s also the Best Documentary I’ve seen since Grizzly Man and who’s to say, between Timothy Treadwell and Alex Honnold, who was more unable and unwilling to cope i modern society or even who had more of a death wish? The difference is that, for now, Honnold has eluded the Grim Reaper.
Stay tuned.
5. Closs Call
It’s only been a few days since Jayme Closs escaped her kidnapper, so we were not quite expecting to read a story that was so incredibly detailed in terms of her parents’ murder, her abduction, her captivity and, ultimately, her escape. But this is what happens when the murderer/kidnapper talks to police—his first words to them were, “I did it”—and when your victim emerges, thankfully, alive.
Read this story. It’s harrowing and horrible. A couple thoughts: there was no way the police were ever going to be able to prevent her parents’ murder, but it’s almost unconscionable that they let him get away in the beginning. As you’ll read, the killer had put Closs in the trunk of his car and was only 20 seconds from pulling out from their driveway when three screeching patrol cars passed him on the way to her house. Three! Racing toward a potential crime scene on a rural highway at 3 a.m., and not one of them thinks to stop the car that is on that road at that hour (a car being driven by a lone white male).
I’m not sure if any reporter asked that question at the press conference, but that should’ve been the first question asked.
Music 101
Walk Like A Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF4KQbiBrKU
Finally watched Jersey Boys the other night (as an Italian-American Jersey boy myself, I felt it was my duty). Don’t know whose idea it was to hand Clint Eastwood the director’s megaphone, but this was less of a musical and more of a “Behind The Music.” That tall, dark and handsome dude on the right is Bob Gaudio, the genius songwriter behind the The Four Seasons’ plethora of hits. As the movie explains, he was introduced to the group by a mutual friend, another young Jersey Eye-talian named Joe Pesci. Of course, who knows how far they ever would’ve gotten without Frankie Valli’s inimitable vocals.
This was the band’s third No. 1 single (March, 1963) in a seven-month span after never having charted before. Also, if you see the film, though it does not explicitly spell it out, you finally know who and what “December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)” is all about.
Remote Patrol
Anchors Aweigh
10:15 p.m. TCM
Dig: We realize there’s a lot of TCM in this space and that may skew older viewer (it definitely skews older viewer), but damn, girl, they don’t make ’em like they used to. Triple-threat Gene Kelly (dancer-singer-leading man) and Frank Sinatra doing his very, very best to keep up in this 1945 Best Picture nominee about two sailors on shore leave in Los Angeles.
Four years later, this duo would team up to make a similar film (sailors on shore leave in New York City), On The Town.
Historical perspective: This film was released on July 19, 1945. It was still in theaters when the Japanese (or “Japs”) surrendered less than one month later. It was like American Sniper with tap dancing.
1. I have known Donald Trump since 1987. Like everyone else who knows him well, before he became a politician, I know he is liar, a narcissist, and eventually I knew he was mentally ill. At that time, he professed to be a democrat. This had nothing to do with politics….
I worked with Kurt at Newsweek. He’s super plugged-in. Read the whole thread on his timeline.
Starting Five
The money’s on the bedside table
1. Agent Orange?
The problem with investigating whether a father is molesting his daughter or a mother beating her children is that once the accusation is leveled it cannot be retracted. And unless there’s sufficient evidence, that potential victim has to return to live with the parent and face even harsher music. At least for awhile. This is why Child Protective Services always try to separate the children from the parents, especially during the investigation.
The problem with the FBI investigating whether the President of the United States is in league with a foreign adversary is somewhat analogous. The Director of the FBI works for the President, hence to launch such an investigation is to betray your boss. Which puts you in sort of a Catch-22 situation: If you’re wrong, you’re done. And if you’re right, you may also be done because he’ll do everything in his power to discredit you and call YOU the traitor as a means of playing the last card in his hand. The….um….Trump card.
What we do know now, via Greg Miller of the Washington Post: “U.S. officials said there is no detailed record, even in classified files, of Trump’s face-to-face interactions with the Russian leader at five locations over the past two years.”
We also know that “President Trump has gone to extraordinary lengths to conceal details of his conversations with Russian President Vladimir Putin, including on at least one occasion taking possession of the notes of his own interpreter and instructing the linguist not to discuss what had transpired with other administration officials.”
Fishy, at best.
Then there’s this. It was a “Yes” or “No” question, and he was unwilling to provide a definitive answer:
JEANINE PIRRO: “Are you now or have you ever worked for Russia?”
TRUMP: [spends two minutes tossing an alphabet salad that doesn’t include the word “no”] pic.twitter.com/KJGVLgYgYk
The New York Times piece about how the FBI initiated its investigation into Trump and a possible Russian compromise ends with these two paragraphs:
F.B.I. officials viewed their decision to move quickly as validated when a comment the president made to visiting Russian officials in the Oval Office shortly after he fired Mr. Comey was revealed days later.
“I just fired the head of the F.B.I. He was crazy, a real nut job,” Mr. Trump said, according to a document summarizing the meeting. “I faced great pressure because of Russia. That’s taken off.”
Donald Trump isn’t as smart, nowhere near, as Richard Nixon was. And he’s even sloppier. As far as we’re concerned, it’s only a matter of time before Robert Mueller’s investigation is released and, given how thoroughly this has likely been done, given how many accomplices of Trump’s have already copped to plea deals, the evidence will be overwhelming. After that it’s just a matter of whether Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham want to do their jobs or if they choose to go out like the warden in The Shawshank Redemption.
But it’s going to happen. And the stain of the Trump name will last for a long, long time. Barron, we suggest changing your name and perhaps moving to Saudi Arabia.
2. Homeland
The Chiefs last hosted an AFC championship game in 1970.
Kansas City. Los Angeles. New England. New Orleans. All four home teams won. The AFC teams won by blowouts, the NFC games were closer. But all were mostly a snooze. Now we get conference championship games that were sequels of two of the better games played all season (Pats 43, Chiefs 40; Saints 45, Rams 35) and a potential KC-LA Super Bowl that would be a leftover from the most exciting game of this or most any season (54-51, Rams).
Bree wears the same colors in his Hall of Fame NFL career as he wore in college at Purdue
The most intriguing potential non-2018 wrinkle would be a New England-New Orleans Super Bowl pitting a pair of legendary 40-something QBs who are among the most prolific passers in NFL history: Tom Brady, 41 and gunning for his sixth Super Bowl ring, is No. 3 all-time in passing touchdowns and No. 4 in passing yards and pass completions. Drew Brees, 40, is No. 2 in passing TDs and No. 1 all-time in passing yards and pass completions.
The Colts lost, but this was the highlight of the divisional round.
Hosts next Sunday: K.C. and New Orleans.
3. Wall War I
This was Donald Trump’s words of advice to the graduates at Wagner in 2004. You don’t say, Donald…
Interesting. Here’s what sort of escapes our understanding. Democrats and Republicans seem to agree that we need to do a better job of border security. An effective president, one who understands that this nation operates under the rule of law, could simply appeal to the electorate by saying, “We need a wall in order to effectively fight the rampant breaking of the law that is illegal immigration.”
Now, some of us may not agree with him that a wall is a necessary strategy, but it’s impossible to dispute that the border is porous and that a large number of people illegally cross it each month. You or I may not consider that unethical or even harmful in any way (or you may), but the facts show that there are laws and they are broken daily. And liberals supposedly love the whole “rule of law” deal, so to deny this is to be a hypocrite.
The problem with Trump, and the Republican Party, is that it cannot stop there. He and, by its complicit silence, the GOP, needs to make these people your bogeyman. Rapists. Cold-blooded killers. Drug dealers. Those types are by far the aberration.
Trump defends border wall: “Human trafficking is a horrible thing…They just make a left into the U.S. & they come in & they have women tied up. They have tape over their mouths. Electrical tape. Usually blue tape, as they call it. It is powerful stuff.” https://t.co/QW6OHwq4v8pic.twitter.com/XOWNpjdOHw
Consider: Using this logic we should be eradicating Catholic priests and Christian pastors because a good number of them are pedophiles or child molesters or perverts or adulterers. Now, you may argue, but those are the aberrations. Bingo. So is the MS-13 gang member.
The wall is not an effective weapon, it is a large waste of money, and the reason Trump is using to trumpet it–NATIONAL SECURITY—is a canard. The worst thing you can say about 90% of illegal immigrants, if not greater, is that they are technically breaking a law.
What the wall represents, for most of its supporters, is a stopgap between white, Christian chauvinist America and the future (if not the present). There’s no wall big enough to prevent the inevitable. Get over it.
4. Travel 2019
Zadar
Tahiti and Wyoming, Costalegre and the Paparoa Track, Gambia and Uzbekistan…
Every year we look forward to the New York Times telling us where we should travel across the globe, even if we haven’t had the opportunity to use our passport since 2010. True. Sad. That changes this year, hopefully.
Here are the paper’s 52 Places To Go in 2019 and we’re already ahead of the game because we live in one of them (31). One down, 51 to go. Can’t wait to see ya, Gambia. We have you on our radar, Zadar.
Eilat, Israel. Good diving at the top of the Gulf of Aqaba.
Two more things: You could take a good three months, if not an entire year, just to visit places west of the Texas-Oklahoma-Kansas-Nebraska-Dakotas western borders here in these United States, plus Alaska and Hawaii, British Columbia and Saskatchewan. I could easily come up with a “52 Places To Go” in just that admittedly large region.
Two, here’s the lucky schlub whom the Times is giving the gig to travel to all these places this year. As we happen to be a straight white middle-aged male with a senatorial-type name and no disturbing back story or religious cult affiliation, we highly doubt we will ever be selected for this duty. Alas…
5. Laine-y!
Did you have Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the Seinfeld cast member who would graduate to the most successful post-Seinfeld comedy career (with maybe Bryan Cranston going on to the most overall success)? We missed this when it happened, but here JLD, who is not a stand-up comic per se, delivers an address both heartfelt and hilarious. The dig she gets in on Veep co-star Tony Hale may be our favorite moment.
Second favorite? When she points out just how hard Jerry Seinfeld, and Larry David, worked on his eponymous show as her voice cracks a little. I don’t think people ever appreciated just how much effort went into that. Half, if not most, of being a genius is just putting in the overtime.
Reserves
Believeland > La La Land
We’ll admit we’re mostly bored with the NBA (blame us, that’s fine) but it was a bizarre weekend: On Friday or Saturday—we forget—the Phoenix Suns, the worst team in the West and missing their top player, Devin Booker, beat the Denver Nuggets, the top team (by record) in the West. On Sunday the Cleveland Cavs, the worst team in the NBA, abetted by all five starters scoring between 15-20 points, beat the Los Angeles Lakers (minus LeBron) at Staples.
Music 101
Jump
In high school there were bands we loved, we liked, we didn’t think twice about and then, a couple that we actively despised. Put Calgary-based Loverboy in that final group (the headband, the scarf, the 2-sizes-too-tight red pants: What were you thinking, or hiding, Mike Reno?). This was their most redeeming effort, even if it was the second-best tune with this title released during our those years.
Remote Patrol
Syracuse at No. 1 Duke
8 p.m. ESPN
Cam Reddish’s last-second three-pointer in Tallahassee on Saturday preserved Duke’s No. 1 ranking (not that it means much of anything) (especially in mid-January) (no, we’re not cynical) (no, you shut up!)
Okay, the Cuse isn’t all that good this season, but here are the numbers combined for coaches Jim Boeheim and Mike Krzyzewski: 80-plus seasons, three schools, 1,978 victories and six national championships. This will almost certainly be their last meeting at Cameron Indoor.
