IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right


It’s like if Charlize Theron were a referee AND had a sense of humor…

Starting Five

Boston Massacred

New England’s squad, who happen to be the reigning World Series champs, trekked to merry ol’ England and were trampled once again by the Yanks. The Red Coats Sox lost by scores of 17-13 and 12-8 at London Stadium, allowing individual innings of six, six and, on Sunday, nine runs. Those weren’t base paths, they were roundabouts.

It’s July 1st. The Yankees are 11 games up on the Red Sox, have the American Leagues’s best record, and have been without a pair of their All-Star pitchers, starter Luis Severino and set-up man Dellin Betances, the entire season. But both will return at some point this summer.

As for baseball in London, the Yanks and Red Sox had never played before crowds that largeā€”59,000-plus each day. At one point on Saturday the Yankees led 17-7(6) and I was thinking both sides had taken this American Revolution theme a bit too far.

Strike A Pose

From last Friday, sure, but when we all watched Megan Rapinoe line up to take that free kick early in the match against France, cognizant that the U.S. women had scored in the first 12 minutes of every World Cup match in this tourney thus far, we were all thinking the same thing, no?

It’s one thing to expect it, but it’s quite something else to deliver. The U.S. has scored four goals in its two knockout stage triumphs, which is also the same number of goals the veteran Rapinoe has knocked into the net in those two victories. And this, dear friends, is definitely the sports photo of the first half of 2019.

Rapine turns 34 on Friday, two days before the World Cup final. But first the U.S. must get past England tomorrow.

Straight Into Brooklyn*

*The judges will also accept “KD and the Sunshine Gang” and “New York Nixed”

Brooklyn wins. Manhattan loses. A win for the outer boroughs.

More than an hour before NBA free agency could officially begin, ESPN’s Woj tweeted out that Kevin Durant would be joining the Brooklyn Nets, and then the dominoes of Kyrie Irving and DeAndre Jordan following him fell into place. Sure, KD won’t be back in the lineup before at least midseason and if you saw DeMarcus Cousins attempt to leap during the NBA Finals (coming off the same injury), you gotta seriously wonder how effective Durant will be next season. And beyond.

Still, almost 30 years to the day after Do The Right Thing, a marvelous film that depicted at least one neighborhood of Brooklyn as being a racial powder keg (and in which a dude in a Celtics jersey was told to go back to Boston), was released,, the borough that the Dodgers once abandoned is now the NBA’s hottest locale (I still wonder exactly how NBA teams travel there…do they fly into JFK and just stay at an airport Marriott?….and where exactly do Nets players live??? in Park Slope or the Heights, out on the north shore of Long Island? Someone help me here).

NoKo Loco?

Foolhardy or genius? We’ll see.

President Trump, who’s always been far keener on developing relationships with cruel and murderous dictators (the Saudi prince, Putin and Kim Jong-Un), proposes and lands a photo op of he and North Korea’s supreme leader in the DMZ. Trump even crossed into North Korea, one very, very, very small step for mankind.

This marks the third time Kim and Trump have met in just over a year, and Kim is shrewd enough to know he doesn’t land these meetings, doesn’t get a chance to legitimize himself by having the U.S. acknowledge him, if he does NOT have nuclear weapons. So, if he thinks like Trump, and he does, he’s thinking to himself, If I do the U.S. a solid all I’m doing is weakening myself without any return on the back end. Why would I do that?

This cartoon falsely depicts Trump; he’d never acknowledge that he’d hit a ball near the drink, but rather just have the caddy drop one at the edge of the fairway

Meanwhile, Trump is that suitor who’s now had three dates, which is great, but he still hasn’t gotten to first base. So he’s in danger of entering, with little chance of ever escaping, the friend zone with North Korea. By the way, we doubt Trump ever went on three dates with anyone without getting to first base. So this is uncharted territory for him.

What Lies Beneath

As magnificent as BBC’s Planet Earth series are, I still marvel that more people aren’t agog about them. What a wonderful world we live in, and most of us will live our entire lives without truly seeing it. So kudos to Sir David Attenborough for bringing the wonder.

Happy hour at Etosha National Park, not too far from the cave

Anyway, last night we were watching a PE: Africa episode and learned all about Dragon’s Breath Cave, which is located at least 100 meters below the Kalahari Desert in Namibia. Discovered in 1986, it’s the world’s largest known sub-glacial underwater lake, with a surface area of about five acres, and its depths remain unknown (divers have gone down 100 meters without seeing any signs of a bottom, much like the 2008 financial crisis). The irony, as Attenborough points out, is that here is this wealthy storage of water that lies beneath one of the driest places on the continent, where numerous species fight each day for precious drops of H2O. Kind of wild, no?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sm11C8l9Xwk

From this same episode, by the way, a giraffe fight. Who knew? It was literally neck-and-neck.

****

Summer TV pilot idea: He’s a wily cowhand with a taste for whiskey, while she’s a pious sister just out of the convent. Together they solve crimes in their Old West town. Meet Slim and Nun. CBS, Mondays.

Music 101

Travelin’ Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxEy5QX7jHk

It would be interesting to see just how much more acclaim Bob Seger would have receivedly, and deservedly so, if Bruce Springsteen had never existed. Same initials, roughly the same era (Bob’s five years older) and a very similar approach to songwriting. Make no mistake, Seger is also in the Rock & Roll Hall, and I’m guessing he may have had more radio hits in the Seventies, but Bruce has far more Rolling Stone album covers.

As we grow older, though, we appreciate Seger’s sober and often wistful tunes even more. This one, Against The Wind, Night Moves, Main Street, etc. They say rock and roll never forgets, and his music is not to be forgotten.

Remote Patrol

Planet Earth

All Day BBC

A highly underrated early Duran Duran song, but an even better series from the Brits. Truly, my friends, we live in paradise. I ask you (and maybe God does, too), what more would you expect heaven to offer than this planet already does? Open your eyes. It’s a beautiful world, and Sir David Attenborough and scores of intrepid and hard-working camera people are here to show it to you.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five

Two And A Half (x4) Dems (x 2 Nights)

Dem Dem Dem Dem, Demly Dem Dem Dem!

Dem Dem Dem Dem, Demly Dem Dem Dem!

Dem Dem Dem Dem, Demly Dem, oo hoo hoo, hoo hoo, oo

Dem Dem Dem Dem, Demly Dem Dem Dem!

Dem Dem Dem Dem, Demly Dem Dem Dem!

Demmmmmmmmms!

Honestly, I’d take James Holzhauer to beat any of these clowns on Jeopardy!

“Give Me Hillary Or Give Me Death!”

We’re sort of kidding, but then again, no. Is there anyone among those 20 candidates from the previous two nights who’d defeat Hillary Clinton head-on in a debate (okay, Kamala Harris would hold her own)? Hillary’s still arguably the best candidate the Democrats could put forth (some of you have just tossed ripe vegetables at your laptops), she’s the only one who actually tallied more votes than Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election, and when the 2020 election eventually does arrive (after what will seem like decades from this moment), she’ll still be nearly two years younger than Donald Trumpā€”not to mention five years younger than Joe Biden and six years younger than Bernie Sanders, the two purported Democratic frontrunners.

Other than the fact that many Americans don’t want to see her again (for reasons I’m not completely sure of), Hillary Clinton remains the most qualified candidate. Tell me you wouldn’t have loved to see her and the hubby watching these debates the previous two nights, particularly when they both know she’s younger than the top three men involved, currently, for president (Trump, Biden, Sanders).

The Blair Witch Candidate

I don’t know what to make of Marianne Williamson, other than the fact that she’s bizarre and off the grid and that I hope she stays around as long as possible in this presidential odyssey. And there’s a part of me that wanted to type, “She’s tremendously entertaining, but I’d never want her to actually be president,” but then I remember who IS president and I think, Why not??

First of all, Williamson will turn 67 in less than two weeks and that photo above is from last night. I mean, never mind that she looks too much like Tina Fey for Fey not to heed Lorne Michaels’ entreaties to play her come September, she looks fabulous for her age. Ooh, ooh, witchy woman!

https://twitter.com/jessicashortall/status/1144438017920262144?s=20

Second, she says, “If you want to know what’s happening with our country, watch Avatar,” which, okay, is not inaccurate but most people think of it a that film where strangely sexy blue bird people got to soar among the cliffs.

Third, this. C’mon. This isn’t even the SNL sketch that will be done featuring her. This is real.

https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/1144438702049038337?s=20

Stick around, Marianne. You’re polling very well in Sedona and who knows where this wind chimes-and-crystals campaign will stop? We don’t know where you came from or how you found a hairdresser who’s stuck in 1975 (is it Warren Beatty’s character from Shampoo), but we’re here for all of it.

A-Paul-ing

Just another day of Trump: the president’s former campaign manager, Paul Manafort, does a perp walk as he’s led into a New York courtroom where he pled not guilty to fraud charges.

Meanwhile, halfway across the world at the G-20 summit in Tokyo, President Trump sarcastically said to Vladimir Putin, “Don’t meddle in our elections” in a crowded room.

Capspace Jam

ESPN insists, absolutely insists, on making the Los Angeles Lakers the most important franchise not just in the NBA but in all of sports. The Dallas Cowboys don’t receive this much daily coverage. Nor do the Yankees. Not even the Los Angeles Dodgers, who occupy the same city and have the best record in baseball, a sport that is actually in season.

Yesterday as the sports world was spinning, ESPN and its bloviators (refreshing exception: Scott Van Pelt, who actually had the temerity to lead off his broadcast with baseball highlights) obsessed about LeBron giving Anthony Davis his number (23), about Davis waiving $4 million in trade bonus money so that the Lakers could have space to sign another “max player” (a fool’s term…was Pascal Siakam a max player before last year?) and about Carmelo joining the Lake Show (please, Lord, let this happen!).

It’s funny to us how much oxygen the Lakers consume of ESPN’s available store. The Mavericks have two phenomenal young players: Luka Doncic and Kristaps Porzingis who are 23 or younger. The Warriors have the more intriguing quandary. And the Raptors are the champs. And all ESPN can do is moon over LeBron as if we’re in the midst of a Bye Bye Birdie revival.

LeBron turns 35 next season. He’s going to miss time with one injury or another. Just watch. And then the egos will start to rise like snakes in a den. We’ll sit back and enjoy the implosion.

Music 101

Back In Black

How do you begin your first album following the death of your lead singer, Bon Scott, from the very rock-and-roll-ish death of “alcohol poisoning.” You come out with guitars blaring and a new lead singer, Brian Johnson, who screeches, “Forget the hearse cuz I never die.”

This song/album was released in the summer of 1980 and has sold more than 50 million copies. Not just a back-with-vengeance album, it is one of the essential albums in the rock-and-roll catalog.

Remote Patrol

USA vs. France

3 p.m. Fox

Red, white and bleu? A quarterfinal that will feel like the final. Could be the most-watched women’s soccer game like, what, ever?

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | Leave a comment

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five

“Show of hands, who thinks Bernie’s a whack job?”

Dem-olition Derby*

*The judges will also accept “Miami Nice”

We did not watch. Ten candidates on one stage is hardly a debateā€”though Julian Castro apparently did his best to make it one versus Beto. Our idea, since these two nights of debates will have only four fewer entries (20) than the Women’s World Cup (24) is that these debates should follow the same format.

That is, five groups of four candidates. Each candidate goes one-on-one versus the other three members of his group. Make those debates half an hour long and you could have, NBC, a show that takes us through the entire summer. By October we’ve winnowed the field down to the knockout rounds, with but five candidates left. Which is manageable.

Also, I want FIFA to do the rankings before the tournament in terms of what candidates are placed into what groups. Just don’t hold the debates in Qatar.

LeySPN

ESPN’s maiden broadcast took place on Sept. 7, 1979.

Bob Ley began working there two days later.

Ley who, along with Chris Berman, was the face of ESPN in its first dozen years who is most responsible for keeping the lights on until it took off like a rocket ship in the early Nineties, announced his retirement yesterday. Ley had 40 years at the WWL, which is a helluva run.

In November of 1992 Sports Illustrated dispatched me to spend a day in this far-off land called Bristol to work on a piece about SportsCenter. Even then, when Ley was but 37, other anchors who had cubicles close by (Chris Berman, Keith Olbermann, Bill [not Dan] Patrick referred to him with reverence, “our man of letters.” He was the smart guy. Never the dude with the schtick, he was the Edgar R. Murrow of SportsCenter and other shows: even-tempered, well-informed, trustworthy.

And yet Ley has an excellent sense of humor, which fortunately was illuminated when he’d appear on the inaugural “Men In Blazers” segments during the 2014 World Cup in Rio. Bright and funny; he just never had the look-at-me ego of some of his co-workers. For four decades, Bob Ley was ESPN’s on-air conscience.

It’s Only Rock and Roll (But I Like It)

There should be a gaggle of people genuflecting before this at all times

If you find yourself in New York City between now and October, or if you’re looking for a (nother) reason to visit, we’ve found it: “Play It Loud,” the rock-and-roll exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The exhibit tells the story of rock through the instruments it has assembled, and it’s a rock-and-roll Hall of Fame-worthy collection.

Among them, and these are the original pieces: the piano Jerry Lee Lewis had in his home the last 60 years of his life; the guitar Jimi Hendrix used to play “The Star-Spangled Banner” at Woodstock (on loan from Jeff Bezos, who’s only giving it to the exhibit for six weeks); the Fender guitar Bruce Springsteen used through much of the 1970s and that’s featured on the cover of Born To Run; the double-necked guitar that Jimmy Page used to play “Stairway To Heaven” during Led Zeppelin’s hey day; John Lennon’s Rickenbacker; the mellotron the Stones used to record “She’s A Rainbow”; and, as the kids say, much, much more.

There are also some wonderful “It chose me” shorts starring some of the electric guitar’s greatest craftsmen: Jimmy Page, Keith Richards, Tom Morello and Eddie Van Halen. From Keef (and I’m paraphrasing): “The electric guitar operates on electromagnetic waves. We operate on electromagnetic waves. It’s how we’re able to think. So it’s the most natural thing I can imagine.”

Foreground: Jimi Hendrix’s guitar for “All Along The Watchtower.” Background: guitar The Edge used on the original Joshua Tree tour.

A few notable absentees from the exhibit: John Mellencamp, Steve Howe (Yes), arguably the greatest guitarist of his era, and anything from Boston who, like them or not, revolutionized the sound of electric guitar.

One final thing: I was struck by how many parents were there with young children, wanting their kids, who cannot yet possibly appreciate what they’re seeing, to bear witness to the most influential art form of these parents’ lives. Rock and roll is really only about 60 years old, and while it may never die, it’s had its peak moment. These parents wanted their kids to feel this phenomenom, like going to see an endangered species at a zoo.

Another Ann Arbor Almost

It’s truly bad form to troll, and we’re sorry, but then this is Michigan we’re trolling, so it must be done. The Wolverines lost the College World Series last night to ________ (does it matter?) and the game wasn’t even played in Pasadena.

Sure, props to Michigan for even advancing to the finals, but then in true Michigan fashion they take a one-game lead and lose the final two. The Wolverines have now advanced to the CWS finals, the NCAA tournament championship game and the Frozen Four in the past decade and come away empty. But at least they got that far, which is more than the football team can say.

Rad Max

Remember about a week or so ago when Washington Nationals pitcher Max Scherzer broke his nose while working on bunting during batting practice? Well, of course that went viral because there’s nothing social media likes better than to tear down someone who’s done more than we have.

But here’s what most of us did not know because it never trended on Twitter: the following night Scherzer did not miss his scheduled start and, pitching with a black eye and some loose proboscis cartilage, he threw seven innings of 4-hit ball, striking out 10 and walking only 2 in a 2-0 Nats win.

In his next start, three days ago, Scherzer struck out 10 and walked zero as the Nats won 5-1. But here’s what you must not forget: in that game he bunted for a base hit and it was the first bunt base hit of his career.

Scherzer, with three Cy Young Awards and two no-hitters, is a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame (even we think so, and we think the membership in Cooperstown should be cut in half). You can argue Clayton Kershaw or Mariano Rivera, but he’s right there with them as the greatest pitcher of this century thus far.

One thing Scherzer has never done: pitch in a Fall Classic. Will that happen this year? Will the Yankees, who have way too much hitting, extend a sumptuous offer to the Nats, for the one thing they really need: an ace? Stay tuned. We won’t be surprised if they do.

Lastly: Rick Sutcliffe on an ESPN broadcast had a great line about Scherzer, who is heterochromatic, the other night: “So now he has a brown eye, a blue eye and a black eye.” Tim Kurkjian, a career-long sportswriter seated next to him in the booth, patted Sutcliffe on the shoulder after he said it as if to say, “Every writer in America wished he or she had thought of that line.”

Music 101

Bad Reputation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie1kkByfE4I

Pretty kick-ass performance coming from a 56 year-old rocker at her R&R HOF induction four years ago. Joan Jett was only 17 years old when she became a founding member of the aptly named all-female punk band, The Runaways, in 1975. She’d go on to commercial success fronting her own band in the 1980s, but she’s always been the indefatigable Punk Rock Girl.

(psst: stick around for “Crimson and Clover” later in the video; worth it!)

Remote Patrol

Dem-olition Derby, Night 2

9 p.m. NBC

This night’s lineup is deeper: Bernie, Joe, Kamala and Mayor Pete. The Prez will still tweet out “Boring.”


IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 4 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Soler power even works at night…

Starting Five

Holland advances

The Western World Cup

Eight nations remain in the 2019 Women’s World Cup. Seven of them hail from the western half of Europe and the eighth, well, This Is U.S.

Italy and Netherlands advanced with wins over China and Japan, respectively, yesterday. They’ll join England, Germany, Sweden, Norway, host nation France and the United States in action that continues tomorrow. We don’t know what this augurs or means other than that NATO is kicking ass on the women’s soccer pitch.

On His Rocker*

*The judges are already sorry about this one

Needing to stave off eliminationā€”because no one ever staves on eliminationā€”at the College World Series, Vanderbilt turned to freshman ace Kumar Rocker versus Michigan. Rocker, whom you may recall tossed a 19-K no-hitter versus Duke in the Super Regional, struck out 11 Skunkbears last night and pitched three-hit ball as the Commodores won 4-1.

Vandy (58-12) plays Michigan tonight in Omaha in the deciding game of the College World Series. And we’re guessing Rocker will not be available.

In case you were wondering, this marks the fourth time in the past six years that both such schools in the finals of the College World Series hailed from east of the Mississippi River. And if Michigan were to win, it would mark the second year in a row that a school from a northern location (last season, Oregon State) wins it all. Climate change be real, yo.

Bitch Is Back

Mark your calendar: July 17. One day and one day only, former special counsel Bob Mueller will testify in separate sessions before two separate House Committees: Intelligence and Judiciary. It’s the hottest ticket for a septuagenarian performer this side of the No Filter Tour.

Look for William Barr to appear on a tree stump on July 18 and publicly misconstrue all of Mueller’s previous testimony, for the record.

Our Hero

Doesn’t take much to make us happy (though Ding Dongs are an excellent start). This video will suffice for today.

Horrors Without Borders

No matter how you feel politically about Mexicans and other Latinos crossing the southern border without authorization and exactly what should be done about it, we’re hoping you’re anti-cruelty to children, particularly infants and toddlers. Is that such a brazen stand to take?

An excerpt from this story in The New York Times describes conditions at a facility in Clint, Texas: “

Children as young as 7 and 8, many of them wearing clothes caked with snot and tears, are caring for infants theyā€™ve just met, the lawyers said. Toddlers without diapers are relieving themselves in their pants. Teenage mothers are wearing clothes stained with breast milk.

Most of the young detainees have not been able to shower or wash their clothes since they arrived at the facility, those who visited said. They have no access to toothbrushes, toothpaste or soap.

Perhaps this piece, published last Friday, was the final straw that persuaded acting Customs and Border Protection Commissioner John Sanders to resign yesterday.

When I was five my parents failed to pick me up from kindergarten. I was all by myself for 90 minutes, a traumatic experience that I recall to this day. And I wasn’t a toddler but five. And just two miles from my house (and also, okay, kind of a wuss). But multiply that trauma/fear exponentially, almost to the nth degree, and you get what it feels like to be one of those children…who, by the way, had no say in this border crossing gambit.

Does anyone in Congress remember what it feels like to be a tiny child and to not know where your parents are or when you’ll see them again and how freaking terrifying that is? Maybe we put aside debates as to whether or not you should call them “concentration camps” and, you know, get to the not insignificant task of not putting small children through misery?

******

GBTC Update: Psst, Susie B. It’s up 11% TUH-DAY. TUH-DAY! There are no cash prizes for being judgmental and skeptical. The bottom line is the bottom line and GBTC is up 300% since early February. I’m here to help.

Paint Misbehavin’

The Dance Class

Edgar Degas, 1874. More than half of the French master’s paintings were of female dancers so, yeah, you could imagine where he’d be hanging out in the 21st century. Degas also painted the odd woman ironing just to throw folks off the scent, but c’mon. He was like the Woody Allen of 19th-century painters. And, sure, okay, a founder of the Impressionist movement.

Remote Patrol

Democratic Debates, Night 1

9 p.m. NBC

Less than 50 miles from Mar-A-Lago, 20 Democratic hopefuls will encamp for two nights while on Fox they’ll just keep blaring a big red “SOCIALISM” alert sign as counter-programming. Tonight’s big kahuna is Elizabeth Warren, but don’t anyone tell Bill DeBlasio that.


IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 15 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

https://twitter.com/SpeedBird_NCL/status/1143264551456202753?s=20

Starting Five

Spanish Fly By

Down goes Spain, bring on the Seine. It wasn’t easy, and the Americans looked nothing like a World Cup-winning squad (where’s Mia Hamm?!?!), but thanks to a pair of Megan Rapinoe penalty kicks, they edged Spain 2-1.

Next up, on Friday: France in Paris. Zhank heaven for little girls…

(Oh my God, what a creepy song; you should be ashamed of yourself, Maurice)

“I Just Wanna Fly”

I mean, who needs or even want a Maserati or McLaren when you can have this? Watch this…

Debt Be Not Proud

Vance “Van” Wilder remained in college at least 7 years and accrued two lifetimes worth of debt

Is Bernie Sanders‘ plan to eliminate all college student debt ($1.56 TRILLION) just a presidential version of your high school student body prez nominee promising Friday ditch days and free pizza, or is it a sensible suggestion? The truth falls somewhere in between.

As our faithful reader Jacob/Jason Anstey points out, the government subsidizes public universities, many of whom have spiked their tuitions to inordinately high levels (compare with how little airfares have risen in the past two decades). So there’s a double whammy when your tax dollars are subsidizing universities AND you’re in deep, in the high five figures, to those same schools.

“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son”

Expanding the problem to prestigious name-brand universities that are charging between $50,000 to $80,000 per year, well, that’s on you, kid. You wanted the Lululemon educational shorts when you could’ve had the Target shorts that may fit just as well. Meanwhile, maybe your high school guidance counselor needs to inform you that an undergraduate degree is really just a starting point these days. Unless your degree is in computer science/coding, you’re gonna need a graduate degree to get anywhere in this world, for the most part.

Finally, as Andrew Ross Sorkin sagely pointed out on CNBC this a.m., eliminating all student debt creates no incentive for universities to lower their tuition costs. At all.

In some ways it would be economically sound to eliminate student debt, or at least to say, offer a 50% reduction of all students’ debt, as it would free up many to purchase their first home, or a car, or more avocado toast with those $5 lattes (!). On the other hand, is it really good policy to forgive people their poor financial decisions and put that burden on people who did not make them? We were never in favor with the TARP bailout, so why would we be in favor of this? I hate to agree with Joe Kernen on most anything, but I do agree with him here.

Greek God (and African Prince)

Remember when NBA commissioner Adam Silver said that he noticed how so many players were “unhappy.” My guess is that the man who won MVP, Giannis Antetokounmpo of Greece, and Pascal Siakam of Cameroon, probably do not belong in that subset. I wonder why…

You can fast forward to 4:45 here to see Pascal’s speech…

It’s wonderful to listen to people who came here from outside nations and have true perspective on how fortunate and blessed they are. Does that mean life is perfect in the NBA? No, but guess what? It isn’t perfect anywhere.

https://twitter.com/HoustonRockets/status/1143358248277499905?s=20

Delete your account.

New Hampshire Carnage (Update)

Yesterday police arrested Volodymyr Zhukovsky, 23, at his West Springfield, Mass., home and charged him with seven counts of negligent homicide. Zhukovsky had been questioned at the scene of the accident that claimed seven lives on Friday but had been allowed to leave (question: with no vehicle of his own to use, how exactly did he return home to Massachusetts?).

Zhukovsky

How is it possible that you can take seven lives and just because you do so with a truck and not a gun that police release you on your own recognizance and tell you to, you know, sit tight until we decide what to do? Zhukovsky, according to a brother-in-law, had not left his room nor eaten since returning home. And sure, he didn’t MEAN to kill anyone. But seven people are dead. And his life is probably over, at least a good portion of it.

The victims

We’ll wait to see exactly what caused the accident. But it was most likely human error (intoxication or distraction) and should be mandatory teaching at every drivers’ ed course in America. This is what one poor decision can lead to.

James Doubles Down

2019 Jeopardy! phenom James Holzhauer finished 454th, or out of the money, at a WSOP No-Limit Hold ‘Em event in Las Vegas yesterday. The buy-in was $1,500 and he finished outside the 281 places that either make money or at least get their buy-in returned. Some 1,800 card players entered.

We’re wondering/hoping/assuming that Holzhauer will enter the Main Event, the one that makes ESPN, in which the buy-in is $10,000. Holzhauer and his wife had announced that he’d donate half his winnings to a Las Vegas nonprofit for the homeless. In case you forgot, Holzhauer won $2.4 million and won 32 consecutive games on Jeopardy! before his run was stopped, $58,000 short of Ken Jennings’ record, by a female Chicago librarian.

So is it more difficult to consistently win at poker than Jeopardy! Yes, if you’re a borderline genius. Why? Because the cards sometimes go against your pot odds. That is, occasionally stupid, or analytically unsound, maneuvers pay off. You can’t fight a perfect game against blind luck.

Music 101

Dirty Work

Early, early Steely Dan. All about being a male side-piece. From 1972. Proof of its sustainability, even though Becker and Fagen didn’t want it on their debut album, is that David Chase used it in Season 3 of The Sopranos.

Remote Patrol

Women’s World Cup Round of 16

Italy-Gyna!

Noon FS1

Netherlands-Japan

3 p.m. FS1

Five of the six nations that have advanced to the quarterfinals hail from western Europe; the sixth is the U.S. Can Italy and the Netherlands keep it a mostly Western World Cup or will Asia get involved?