IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 6 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Lindor exults after his game-tying double

A Quest Called Tribe

Number 22 did not come without suspense. The Cleveland Indians trailed 2-1 with two outs and two strike to the Kansas City Royals when Francisco Lindor hit a game-tying double off the left field wall. One inning later, Jay Bruce ended it with a walk-off single. It was Cleveland’s first walk-off and first extra-inning victory of the now historic streak.

With the win, Cleveland takes over the ALL-TIME WIN STREAK record in MLB history. The 1916 New York Giants posted a 26-game unbeaten streak, but one of those contests ended in a tie.

2. Rubicon Crossed

followed by…

(Why did he type “untruth” instead of “lie?” Is that a libel issue?)

followed by…

 I briefly worked with Clay Travis. He’s a smart guy and a personable dude in person. Like Donald Trump, he’s big on promoting himself as a straight talker, and also like the president, he diligently avoids speaking bluntly on topics that would alienate a white supremacist audience.

Unlike Trump, Clay is not a liar. He’s just a guy who meticulously picks his battles so that he never has to come out against subjects his legion of followers find dear. That’s convenient and for him it has also proven profitable. But it’s also cowardly. And deep down, or directly on the surface, he knows he’s a sellout; a craven victim to his own naked ambition.

He’s rich (just ask him). But as soon as he’s transparent about racism as he is about, say, antifa, that will be a first. He’s the dude who spends 100 hours mocking or exposing BLM and then justifies it with a throwaway line such as, “I’m the least racist person I know.” Great. But the fact that you have to even say that, well, why did it come up?

Meanwhile, I like what our mutual former editor and bonafide great egg, Barry Werner, tweeted:

 

3. Judge Bombs

Baseball’s most majestic swing

During last night’s 13-5 against the Orioles, Yankee rookie Aaron Judge blasted two bombs, had six RBI, and DID NOT STRIKE OUT. The blasts put Judge’s home run total at 43 with 16 games remaining. Remember when The Ringer posted this edgy headline?

Most home runs in one season by a New York Yankee, age 25 or below:

Babe Ruth, 1920: 54 (age 25)*

Mickey Mantle, 1956: 52 (age 24)*

Lou Gehrig, 1927: 47 (age 24)

Joe DiMaggio, 1937: 46 (age 22)

*led American League

Judge is sitting pretty to tie either the Yankee Clipper or the Iron Horse. It may be time for an iconic nickname.

4. Lalas Land

Lalas, right

Earlier this week former World Cup and American soccer dude Alexi Lalas leaped across the abyss from erstwhile athletic hero to GOML spokesperson by calling the U.S. Men’s National Team “a bunch of soft, underperforming, tattooed millionaires.”

The USA is 2-2-3 (3 losses) in World Cup qualifying after recent losses to the likes of Costa Rica and Honduras. In responding to Lalas’ criticism, Michael Bradley borrowed a line from the Lannisters: “The lion doesn’t care about the opinion of the sheep. But Jozy Altidore had a better comeback:

 

 Altidore’s girlfriend, Sloane Stephens, won the U.S. Open last week, by the way.

5. A Reptile Dysfunction

In Sri Lanka a talented young reporter for The Financial Times, Paul McClean, was apparently killed by a crocodile. An Oxford grad just a month shy of his 25th birthday, McClean sounded like a special young talent, if you read this piece.

McClean was on holiday with friends in a remote part of a remote nation when a croc dragged him into a lagoon.

Reserves

As long as they’re coming to Times Square, there’s only one real choice for celebrity guest picker

Well They’re Coming/To My Ci-TAYYYYYYY!!!!!!

ESPN’s College GameDay, in the “I’ll just have a Bud Light” of on-campus location decisions, opts for Times Square on September 23rd. The nearest FBS campus is Rutgers, and the nearest that anyone in Manhattan truly considers a legitimate college football power is three-plus hours west in State College.

What a lazy decision. Or was it about the budget? Or about promoting the Disney Store and ABC’s nearby GMA studios? Or was it just about ego (“We’ve even been to Times Square!”). Pullman, Wash., and Iowa City, Iowa (the Hawkeyes host Penn State in an early Big Ten unbeatens clash) were better options.

Music 101

Son Of A Son Of A Sailor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX9esXzzO7w

As far as Top 40 hits go, Jimmy Buffett has only had a few, and only one higher than 30 (“Margaritaville” went to No. 8 in 1977). Still, the 70 year-old who was born on Christmas day, 1946, has as loyal and as cult-like a fan base as any American artists this side of the Grateful Dead. This tune was the title track of his 1978 album.

Remote Patrol

Vietnam

Sunday 8 p.m.

PBS

America’s foremost documentary filmmaker, Ken Burns, has tackled The Civil War and World War II, so it was only a matter of time before he dipped his lens into this quagmire. The 10-part, 18-hour series will air each night from Sunday through Thursday this week, take Friday and Saturday off, and then the final five episodes air Sunday through Thursday the following week.

You have to wonder if a late edit will include this fan post about Alabama’s freshman quarterback from Hawaii:

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 9 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Capitol/Hill

Nontroversy? Kerfuffle? Another entry for The Daily Harrumph? Also, is conflating Linda Cohn‘s suspension for publicly criticizing her employer and Jemele Hill‘s lack of a suspension for calling the president “an ignorant white supremacist” fair? Answer: No.

Cohn deserved to be suspended because, even though we agree with every last thing that she said, when you publicly slam your own employer, that employer has the right to respond in its own way. As for Hill, she, too, spoke freely about a matter and we largely agree with her thoughts (not that it matters) (he’s more of an opportunist and a white, comma, supremacist, than he is a white supremacist), but she was simply expressing a political opinion. She was not publicly second-guessing her employer.

Hill has since deleted this tweet. In a feature that ran in The Ringer just yesterday, she boasts about how she does not delete tweets.

As for the White House, it has fired so many staffer in the first eight months of the administration, an administration whose top dude constantly sends out inflammatory, duplicitous and malevolent tweets, that hearing Sarah Sanders remark that Hill’s tweets are a “fireable offense” are comical.

 

By the way, Hill sure upped her Q Rating in the past 48 hours, no? If we were more cynical, we’d call this a brilliant career move. It sure got this story much more attention.

2. “Watson, Come Here. I Need You”

After Week 1, in which Houston Texans coach Bill O’Brien started Tom Savage (no relation to Peter Tom Savage, who does not exist but whose name reminds us of former FSU QB Peter Tom Willis, because who can figure out how our minds work?) at quarterback, he has now opted to go the Alexander Graham Bell route and start rookie Deshaun Watson.

Savage, out of Rutgers, went 7 of 13 for 62 yards but was sacked 6 times. Watson, who led Clemson to consecutive national championship games and won it last January, was 12 of 23 but led Houston to its only TD in a 29-7 loss to Jacksonville. Up next, tonight in fact, for Houston, is the Cincinnati Bengals. Mr. Watson, meet Mr. Burf–oh wait, he’s suspended again.

3. Strange Days At Bitcoin

This is Joy Corrigan, who has nothing to do with cryptocurrency, and if you ask us why she’s here, we’ll just claim that The Big Lead hacked our site.

We really do not understand what Bitcoin is, or does, even when we read its Wikipedia page. Best we can acknowledge is that it’s a form of payment between people who only exist for one another digitally. But we think Jacob/Jason Antsey/Anstey* understands it, so perhaps he’ll explain below (ft., it’s “Jacob Anstey”).

What we do see clearly is that Bitcoin stock was at $608 one year ago today and is currently selling at nearly SIX TIMES that price ($3,500), even though this morning it is down nearly 10% on bad news. Something to keep an eye on. Ticker symbol BTC.

4. Buh Bye, Mr. Shkreli

Someone in this pic will soon be someone’s bitch, and perhaps the price of avoiding that fate should rise 5,000% for him.

While awaiting sentencing and free on $5 million bail, human slime Martin Shkreli felt the urge to demonstrate that he still doesn’t get it. Shkreli posted on Facebook, ““On HRC’s book tour, try to grab a hair from her. Will pay $5,000 per hair obtained from Hillary Clinton.”

He later said it was satirical, but the judge didn’t care. She ordered Shkreli, 34, jailed until his January 16 sentencing, at which time he could receive 10 years in prison. See ya. Say Hi to Craig Carton, who resigned yesterday from WFAN, if you see him.

5. Your Knot Wrong, Wendell

Not again with Joy Corrigan! We were hacked. No, wait! It was a staffing issue.

Our friend Wendell Barnhouse, an inveterate ink-stained wretch, has made this plea for editing and editors. We wholly support his crusade. To illustrate his point, Wendell has collected an array of editing errors over the past month. One slight clarification, friend: the  biggest role of producers these days, except in situations in which writers produce their own stories (as I did at Newsweek) is to 1) find a photo and 2) slap on an SEO-friendly headline.

By the way, read the second graf (“To err is human…” carefully).

 

Music 101

Sunshine

In 1971 John Denver released “Sunshine On My Shoulders” on an album, and then three years later as a single, and it went to No. 1. Also in 1971, Jonathan Edwards released this tune on his debut album and rose to No. 4 on the charts.

A Word, Please

visceral (adj)

relating to deep inward feelings rather than to intellect

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. 2-0 For 20

Behind a five-hit, complete game shutout from Cy Young hopeful Corey Kluber, the Tribe Moneyball’ed its way to a 20th consecutive win (they’re now 89-56). That tied the 2002 Oakland A’s’ mark and is one behind the 1935 Chicago Cubs, the longest MLB win streak. The Indians go for their 21st in a 12:10 matinee at home this afternoon versus the Tigers (Is ESPN going to televise this?)

Oh, and the Dodgers finally won, breaking an 11-game losing streak, with Clayton Kershaw on the mound. He’s 17-3.

2. Teddy Bare

Believe us, it isn’t easy to find a photo of Cory Chase fully bloused…now where were we?

It’s funny. During his ill-fated presidential run, Republican senator Ted Cruz was quick to note his fondness for The Princess Bride. He even quoted it, ahem, liberally. Turns out that Cruz also likes (or so his Twitter feed tells us) the film Mom Bang Teens 20. The film’s star, Cory Chase, is upset not that Cruz, who once proposed a bill to ban sex toys in the Lone Star State, watched her film but that he apparently pirated it.

Cruz has blamed his curious choice of film preference to a “staffing issue.” Can’t disagree with that.

3. Football Fright In America

You go to a Dallas Cowboys game-watch party in Plano, Texas, and you wind up one of Spencer Hight‘s eight murder victims. Hight, the estranged husband of one of the viewers, Lara Hight, who was hosting the Giants-Cowboys viewing party, mowed down an octet of viewers before being shot and killed by a policeman. Lara was one of the victims. She had filed for divorce earlier this year.  Monday would have been their sixth wedding anniversary.

4. Wily Coyote

Now 48 years old, former USC and Oakland Raider quarterback Todd Marinovich is back slinging it with the SoCal Coyotes and looking eerily like Woody Harrelson. The erstwhile wunderkind threw seven touchdown passes in his debut two weekends ago in a 73-0 win against the California Sharks. Despite a dozen or so drug arrests in his past, he’ll probably still get a nibble from the NFL before Colin Kaepernick.

5. Love Him Do

There are stars, there are superstars, and then there are Beethovens. Count Sir Paul McCartney in that last group. The MH staff took a field trip to Newark to catch McCartney and his band, which is playing NINE shows in New York/New Jersey this month, last night and we were absolutely GOBSMACKED.

The set list was historic: McCartney and his four band mates (the two guitarists, southern California natives Rusty Anderson and Brian Ray, are TOO good-looking) led off with “A Hard Day’s Night,” “Junior’s Farm,” “And I Love Her” and “Jet.” They closed with “Band On The Run,” “Let It Be,” “Live and Let Die” and “Hey Jude.” Imagine (sorry, John) singing along at the end of that tune (“Na, Na, Na, Na-Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na-Na, Hey Jude”) with the actual dude who wrote it. The encore included “Yesterday,” “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” a scorching “Helter Skelter” and, at last, a triumphant and transcendent “Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End.”

Also mixed in: “Maybe I’m Amazed,” “Something,” “Eleanor Rigby” and “Lady Madonna,” and we’re sure we’re forgetting a few. McCartney, 75, remains a humble and gracious and humorous master showman, and he sprinkled the set with fascinating and often very funny anecdotes about Jimi Hendrix and Mick and Keith, for starters. He is funny. McCartney noted at one point that Sgt. Pepper’s was released “fifty years ago” then held out his arms as if to say, “WUT?!?” After a beat he quipped, “That was before my time.”

If you’ve never seen this founding member of the Beatles, and perhaps the most fabulous member of the Fab Four, and you have a chance to make one of these shows, do it. Any amount spent under $300 for a ticket, for a true music fan, is an absolute steal.

Music 101

Doctor, My Eyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsM7qCulsRM

We’ll note it again, but if you watched the Eagles documentary, the late Glenn Frey tells an excellent anecdote about the genesis of this tune from a piano and a cup of tea in a small apartment in the MacArthur Park section of Los Angeles. This song, released in 1972 on Jackson Browne‘s eponymous debut album, peaked at No. 8. His signature song, “Running On Empty,” released three years later, peaked at No. 11.

A Word, Please

ephemeral (adj.)

lasting for a very short time

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 2 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Best. Team. Ever? Worst. Team. Ever?

We notice that millennials, when they put down their avocado toast long enough to type, are fond of delineating items with “ever” and “of all time.” Thus a favorite blogger of ours identified Lamar Jackson as the “least respected, least talked-about Heisman Trophy winner ever” (Joe Bellino‘s family would like a word) and a college football writer pal identified Chris Finke—we believe he was joking—as the “grittiest” Notre Dame football player “ever.”

Which brings us to last month’s SI cover, which is fast becoming the greatest example of the SI jinx…dare we say it…OF ALL TIME! The Los Angeles Dodgers have lost 11 straight and are 1-16 over their past 17 games (3-16 since the issue hit newsstands).

Meanwhile, the Cleveland Indians have won 19 in a row and are one game away from tying the 2002 Oakland A’s and just two away from tying the greatest MLB win streak EVER, 21 games, by the 1935 Chicago Cubs (the 1916 NY Giants won 26 in a row, but a tie was part of the streak). Corey Kluber, the Tribe’s ace, takes the mound for them tonight versus Detroit. We smell 20 straight.

2. Mas Sergio Dipp, Por Favor!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjPmybdjdH8

We can only imagine what Lisa Guerrero was thinking…

3. The Southernmost Inhabited Spot On Earth

This is Estancia Harberton, a ranch in the Tierra del Fuego region of Argentina. Founded in 1886 by a British missionary as a working sheep ranch, it is now mostly a tourist spot where visitors come to see penguins. It is located at 54.87 degrees South (and the MH editorial staff once sailed past it).

4. RIP, Don Ohlmeyer

Most American sports fans will remember Don Ohlmeyer, who passed away on Monday at the age of 72, as one of the giants of the golden age of sports television (along with ABC’s Roone Arledge and Chet Forte, and NBC’s Dick Ebersol). We’ll remember his as the most infamous pool-hustler/Notre Dame undergrad since George Gipp. Read here. 

5. Please, Not Another Orange-Haired Clown

This is Pennywise, the central figure in Stephen King’s novel-turned-movie It, which is now officially “box office boffo!” The film raked in $123 million in its opening weekend, crushing the existing record for a September box office opening by more than double. Isn’t it rich? Don’t you agree?

Music 101

The Boys Are Back In Town

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGZqDzb__bw

And when I tell you that she was cool/She was red hot/I mean that chick was steamin’…

U2 is a rock band from Dublin, but perhaps the original ROCK band from Dublin was Thin Lizzy, whose 1976 hit belongs on any soundtrack of the Seventies. That guitar instrumental is turn-it-up-while-driving-your-Camaro essential. Lead singer Phil Lynott, a true black Irishman, died of heroin-related causes at the age of 37 in 1986.

A Word, Please

propinquity (noun)

An inclination

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Starting Five

Godwin, God Loses

Georgia 20, Notre Dame 19. Put it up on the participation trophy shelf with Florida State 2014, Clemson 2015 and Stanford 2015. All games that the Irish were one play away from winning.

Another thrilling one-possession loss for the Close-But-No-Cigar Irish, which may wind up being Brian Kelly’s legacy. No. 15 Georgia and at least 30,000 Dawg fans descended on South Bend on Saturday night and came away with a 20-19 victory. Justin Yoon, who kicks four field goals on the second Saturday of September in a home night game, alas does not become Reggie Ho (will he still go to medical school?).

Two second-half strip sacks doomed the Irish

Georgia’s two gifted backs did not exactly own the Irish defense, which played about as well as it can, but the Dawgs’ defensive front seven, particularly Lorenzo Carter, were far too much for the Notre Dame. If the Irish are not 5-1 heading into USC weekend (at B.C., at Michigan State, Miami of Ohio, at North Carolina), this season is a disappointment and the Brian Kelly Hotseat will be smoking.

 

Meanwhile, we know it was his second start, but Brandon Wimbush is in his third fall on campus. He needs to play better (and we know his O-line was putrid).

2. Wait—Watt—WUT!

A good week for the Watt brothers. Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt announced that his fundraising campaign for victims of hurricane Harvey had reached $30 million, while rookie Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker T.J. Watt recorded two sacks and an interception in his debut. No rookie outside of a pair of replacement players in 1987 had ever done that in the NFL, at least since sacks became an official stat.

3. Baby Bombers’ Bombast

For the first time in their burgeoning legendary careers, both Aaron Judge and Gary Sanchez went deep twice in the same contest. The Yankees beat the Texas Rangers 16-7, as Judge hit his 40th and 41st home runs and Sanchez his 29th and 30th. All four home runs were solo shots.

Judge joins four other Yankees who have hit 40 homers in a season by the age of 25. Those four men: Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle. So, uh, whoa.

Judge was also walked for the 107th time this season, an MLB rookie record. Who was it, The Ringer I think, who wrote just last week  that his post-All-Star Game drop-off was as dramatic as his pre-All-Star Game peaks? Not quite.

Sanchez has now hit 50 home runs in 161 Major League games, dating back to last summer. Not bad.

4. Beast Mode Is Back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EfyjIkhrSg

East Bay native Marshawn Lynch, who always belonged in the Silver and Black, returned from his one-year hiatus and trucked Jurrell Casey of the Texans yesterday. Beast Mode had 76 yards in 18 carries and apparently has had enough of eating weird animals with Bear Grylls. Dig it: you can’t end your career on a Super Bowl play that should have gone to you but was instead an INT. All aboard for the Beast Mode scorched earth tour!

5. Irmageddon

Hurricane Irma was downgraded to a tropical storm as it travels up the west coast of Florida, and it appears its most destructive effects will be rendered unto the Caribbean.

Below, this is Paraquita Bay on the island of Tortola, just east of Puerto Rico.

This is Florida…

And Biscayne Bay in Miami…

 

Reserves

Sloane Ranger

Sloane Stephens’ reaction upon seeing her check after winning the U.S. Open is priceless.

Music 101

Take It To The Limit

You can spend all your time making money/You can spend all your love making time…If you’ve seen the fantastic doc on The Eagles, you know (at least as Glenn Frey tells the story) that they kicked Randy Meisner out of the band when he refused to sing this song live. No one could hit those high notes like Meisner, who apparently partied a little too hard (which is saying something for the Seventies) and might have had some performance anxiety. One of this band’s best. Few bands outside Liverpool wrote better lyrics.

Remote Patrol

obsequious (adj.)

overly fawning; obedient or attentive to a servile degree