by John Walters

Starting Five

Monumental

So what do you do about Stone Mountain, Ga., which features a trio of Confederate heroes: Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis and Stonewall Jackson? This was the site of the second founding of the Ku Klux Klan in 1915.

To echo the profound words of Susie B. in yesterday’s comments, let’s ask this question: Why did the removal of Confederate monuments suddenly become such a hot-button issue? Who is behind this?

The MH staff, in its divine equanimity, can see both sides of this: erasing history is a dangerous rabbit hole down which to travel. Then again, it’s no coincidence that neo-Nazis, the KKK and white supremacists choose to hold gatherings at Stone Mountain. These are vestigial altars for them.

Monuments are symbols; nothing more. They lose their power if people’s hearts and minds are not bolstered by them. Then again, if this nation were 72% African-American and 12% Caucasian, as opposed to the reverse (which it is), no way in hell those monuments/statues would still be standing. So you can see the point of people who’d like them taken down, no?

We almost forgot: Tina Fey is a University of Virginia alum. So how did we almost forget to post this video from last night about “sheetcaking?”

2. Will The Triple Play?

The lowest percentage hit in baseball, in terms of its likeliness? The triple, of course, which is also arguably baseball’s most exciting play. In the past century only one man, Kiki Cuyler, has hit at least 24 triples in one season. And that was in 1925.

The last man to hit 23 in a year? Curtis Granderson, in 2007. The single-season record of 36 in one year was set in 1912 by John “Chief” Wilson of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

This year’s current leader is Charlie Blackmon of the Colorado Rockies, who has 14 and appears not to be a threat to touching Granderson’s 21st century mark. Blame it on shorter outfield walls, better outfielders, and more sophisticated defense in terms of cut-off throws. The bases certainly haven’t gotten any farther apart nor have the baserunners slowed down.

Blackmon, by the way, has baseball’s third-best batting average (.335) and second-most hits (164, three behind Jose Altuve of the Astros). If you’re as intrigued by triples as we are, do read Roy Blount, Jr’s 2003 piece on the play in Sports Illustrated. He’s one of the handful of best scribblers ever to write for the mag.

By the way, the two hottest teams in baseball are Boston and Los Angeles. Fox (and the MH staff) would love to see that Fall Classic.

 

3. Skunk In The Outfield

Not sure if the story by Sam Miller on ESPN.com needed to be this drawn out, considering it’s two high school baseball teams from Rhode Island, but it’s worth the read for the fascinating thing you’ll learn: a runner’s base path is simply a straight line between wherever the baserunner is and the base he’s going for when a tag is attempted. Keep that in mind as you read this story about the trick play that Portsmouth attempted on East Greenwich, a play that lasted 2 minutes and 32 seconds.

Too bad there’s no video. The play took place in 2006.

4. Emma’s Stone Cold Win

So we’re a week late and perhaps Susie B. track-shamed us into including this item, but Friend of MH Emma Coburn won the 3,000 meter steeplechase in London at the World Championships last week. Not only did Coburn win, she set an American record (9:02.58, taking five seconds off her PR) and became the first Yank to win a steeplechase at the Worlds or Olympics since 1952.

That’s Courtney Frerichs of Missouri finishing second. Americans hadn’t finished 1-2 in a race longer than 400 meters at this level or the Olympics since 1912. That’s 105 years ago for those of us who are math-impaired. “I don’t think it’s family friendly what I said to Courtney,” Coburn said about their post-race embrace. “Holy guacamole is the PG version.”

The best part? Emma switched coaches earlier this year, moving to her fiancee, Joe Bosshard. I guess he deserved the job.

5. Barcelona

Why not lead with this story of 13 killed in a terrorist attack on Las Ramblas? Because that’s the entire point of their exercise. Rogue cars are never going to take down the democratized world; only reactionary responses and panic in the wake of such attacks can do that.

Spanish police shot five suspected terrorists dead in the resort town of Cambrils, but the driver is apparently still at large. A minute of silence (below) was held today in Barcelona for the victims.

Music 101

Black Water

Before it was the bay abutting Kings Landing, it was a Delta blues rock classic by the Doobie Brothers. Patrick Simmons wrote the guitar riff and then, upon a visit to New Orleans, was inspired to pen the lyrics. This was a No. 1 hit for the band from San Jose in 1975.

A Word, Please

luddite (noun)

a person opposed to increased industrialization or new technology*

Etymology (from Wikipedia): The movement is said to be named after Ned Ludd, an apprentice who allegedly smashed two stocking frames in 1779 and whose name had become emblematic of machine destroyers. Ned Ludd, however, was completely fictional and used as a way to shock the government

by John Walters

Starting Five

Yes We Klan?

President Trump:

He’s looked at crowds from BOTH SIDES now/

From inauguration day to Charlottesville/

It’s crowds’ illusions he recalls/

He really don’t know crowds at all.

Why was anyone surprised by Donald Trump‘s contentious press conference inside Trump Tower on Tuesday? His journey/odyssey/phenomenon to the White House was ALWAYS about sewing racial division and appealing to White Power. People try to say that they support him because he’s “going to bring jobs back” or because “he’s not Hillary” but Trumpwas always sending out boo-boo kisses to racists, neo-Nazis, and the KKK. Even in denouncing them on Tuesday, he was just denouncing the terms and not the actors. And they know that.

It always came down to this: For many people, including the MH staff, who Donald Trump IS as a person and what he represents in terms of integrity and race-baiting, well, that trumped any consideration of him occupying the White House. For others it did not. And now we are seeing the fruits of what was sewn last November.

Likewise, for many people, slavery was such an abomination that any discussion of what “southern culture” is and the need to preserve it via statues to Confederate generals or secessionists is a non-starter. For others, those who you saw carrying tiki torches in Charlottesville last Friday night, it is not. For them, preserving southern culture outweighs any problems anyone may have with slavery.

Here’s a FactCheck.org look at the transcript from Tuesday afternoon’s presser, held in the same building where 26 months ago Trump kicked off his presidential campaign by informing people that Mexico was sending us their rapists and drug dealers.

2. Elliott Mess

Teammate Dak Prescott was named NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year in 2016, but seeing as how Ezekiel Elliott rushed for more than 300 yards more than any other back in the NFL, the latter probably deserved it.

Now the former Ohio State back has been suspended for six games due to domestic violence. But it’s not that simple. Elliott was never charged with a crime and his side claims to have texts from the alleged victim in which she appears to be blackmailing him. What’s a commissioner who only three years ago whiffed horribly on the Ray Rice situation to do? And does he really want a protracted battle with both Jerry Jones and America’s Team?

The woman’s name has been made public, but we’ll keep it off this site. The NFL is accusing the NFLPA of spreading “derogatory” information about her. The NFLPA says that is a lie.

3. Two Balls, No Strikes

Red Sox superfan Jordan Leandre‘s ceremonial first pitch was “juuuuuusssst a bit outside” at Fenway Park. And it made the segue from the announcer about former Sawx player Tony Conigliaro being struck in the face by a pitch that much more awkward.

4. Cliff Craven

Matthew Murray, 27, was wearing a Go-Pro when he exhibited an extreme example of “failure to control one’s vehicle” recently. The bike went off the road in the Santa Monica Mountains of southern California but Murray survived.

5. Judge Bomb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q636M_HI1mQ

All we can say about Aaron Judge‘s 37th home run is a a Beavis and Butthead-like, “Whoa.”

One deck. Two decks. Third deck.

Judge also struck out in the 9th to keep his consecutive games striking out streak alive at 33. We were wrong the other day: the record is 36 games. The rookie leads the American League in home runs with 37 and and is second in the majors in strikeouts, behind Minnesota’s Miguel Sano, with 159.

Music 101

Romeo’s Tune

Add Steve Forbert to your One-Hit Wonder bin. The song hit No. 11 in 1979, just prior to the advent of the MTV era. Forbert says that the song is dedicated to a woman from his hometown of Meridian, Mississippi, and that she knows who she is.

Remote Patrol

Vice: Charlottesville: Race and Terror

HBO

If you have the HBO, watch this report from last Friday and Saturday in Charlottesville. I’m pretty sure that Chris Cantwell dude desperately needs a girlfriend.

MH turns 5 on August 16 (sharing birthdays with Madonna and Sports Illustrated, while both Babe Ruth and Elvis died on this date). We may take a staff outing, and so we are presenting this post early: every song that has appeared in “Music 101” (at least we’ve done our best to keep the list updated since we launched this feature in March of 2015).

Here’s the part where you come in: In the Comments section, suggest a song we have yet to include. We’ll take five suggestions and use them one a day next week:

10 CC…………………The Things We Do For Love………..4/20/17

10,000 Maniacs……..Eden……………………………………9/15/16

A

A Flock of Seagulls…..I Ran…………………………………..6/20/16

ABBA…………………The Winner Takes It All……………….11/8/16

AC/DC……………….Sin CIty…………………………………..2/19/16

Aerosmith……………Toys In The Attic……………………….1/27/17

A-Ha………………….The Sun Always Shines On TV………11/22/16

Air Supply…………….Lost In Love…………………………….2/22/17

The Alarm…………….Marching On…………………………..1/22/17

All-American Rejects…..Swing, Swing………………………..4/14/16

                                      It Ends Tonight………………………5/11/17

Ambrosia…………….Biggest Part Of Me……………………..4/17/17

America………………Ventura Highway………………………..9/21/15

                                 Sister Goldenhair……………………….5/5/17

                                 Tin Man…………………………………..7/5/17

And You Will…………The Ghost Within………………………..2/25/16

Annie…………………Tomorrow…………………………………11/3

April Wine……………I Like To Rock…………………………….2/6/17

Apples in Stereo…….Seven Stars………………………………6/5/15

Argent………………..Hold Your Head Up………………………2/10/17

Arlo Guthrie………….Alice’s Restaurant……………………….11/26

Joan Armatrading…..Drop The Pilot……………………………3/28/17

The Association……..Never My Love…………………………..7/16/15

           Windy…………………………………….12/29/15

Fred Astaire………….The Way You Look Tonight…………….10/5

B

B-52’s…………………Private Idaho……………………………….3/27/15

                      Roam………………………………………7/1/16

The Babys…………..Back On My Feet Again…………………3/7/17

BTO……………………Let It Ride……………………………….1/5/16

                                  You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet…………….3/1/17

                                 

Bad Company……….Bad Company……;………………………….11/28/16

Badfinger…………….Baby Blue…………………………………12/

                                 Day After Day…………………………….10/3/16

The Band…………….The Night They Drove Ol’ Dixie Down…..4/6/15

Barabbas…………….Wild Safari………………………………..4/7/16

Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock…..Joy & Pain…………………………2/2/17

Shirley Bassey……….Goldfinger…………………………………11/10

                                  I Don’t Know How To Love Him…………6/12/17ds

Bastille…………………Pompeii…………………………………..7/14/15

Bay City Rollers……..Saturday Night…………………………..10/14/16

Beach Boys…………..Sloop John B…………………………….4/27/15

Wouldn’t It Be Nice…………………….8/12/16

The Beatles…………..Ticket to Ride……………………………8/19/15

The Long and Winding Road………….3/10/16

Golden Slumbers/The Weight/The End…1/2/17

                                    Hello, Goodbye…………………………6/27/17

The Beautiful South…..Song For Whoever…………………….7/18/16

Natasha Bedingfield….Unwritten……………………………….1/5/17

Bee Gees……………..How Deep Is Your Love……………….5/6/15

Archie Bell & The Drells….Tighten Up………………………….5/9/17

Belly…………………..Feed The Tree…………………………..7/6/16

Tony Bennett………….Rags To Riches…………………………8/3/16

Berlin………………….Sex (I’m A)……………………………………..2/23/17

Chuck Berry………….No Particular Place To Go……………..3/20/17

Big Country…………..In A Big Country…………………………5/5/16

Bjork…………………..It’s Oh So Quiet In Here……………….6/28/16

Blink-182……………..All The Small Things…………………….7/8/15

Blondie………………..Call Me…………………………………..4/14/15

                                  Rapture………………………………….10/13/16

                                  Sunday Girl………………………………8/14/17

Blood, Sweat & Tears…. .And When I Die……………………..4/21/15

Blue Oyster Cult……..Burnin’ For You…………………………7/6/17

Blue Swede………….Hooked On A Feeling…………………..4/4/16

The Blues Image…….Ride Captain Ride……………………..12/16/15

Debby Boone…………You Light Up My Life…………………..9/22/16

Boston………………..Feelin’ Satisfied…………………………7/27/17

The Boswell Sisters….Rock and Roll………………………….5/4/16

David Bowie………….Life On Mars…………………………….4/15/16

                                  Golden Years……………………………1/12/16

                                  Ziggy Stardust………………………….1/8/16

Charles Bradley……..Ain’t a Sin……………………………….6/7/16

James Brown………..Sex Machine…………………………….5/14/15

The Byrds……………Eight Miles High …………………………3/24/17

C

Calexico……………..Falling From The Sky……………………3/30/16

The Call………………I Still Believe…………………………….9/28/16

Candy Skins…………Submarine Song………………………..10/1/15

Laura Cantrelle……..14th Street……………………………….12/2/16

Captain & Tenille…….Muskrat Love……………………………5/19/16

Carpenters…………..We’ve Only Just Begun…………………5/15/15

The Cars……………..Bye Bye Love……………………………3/31/15

Car Seat Headrest….Cosmic Hero…………………………….8/7/17

Johnny Cash…………Sunday Morning Comin’ Down……….1/17/17

Johnny Cash/Dylan….Girl from the North Country……………6/24/15

Chance The Rapper….Same Drugs……………………………3/23/17

Cheap Trick…………..Dream Police……………………………7/28/16

Neneh Cherry………..Buffalo Stance………………………….4/7/17

Chic……………………Le Freak…………………………………10/27/16

Chicago……………….Beginnings………………………………8/11/15

Chordettes……………Lollipop………………………………….4/3/17

Chumbawumba………Tubthumping…………………………….12/15/15

Eric Clapton………….Layla……………………………………..7/15/15

The Clarks……………Shimmy Low……………………………..11/17/15

The Clash…………….Death or Glory………………………….11/14/16

Climax………………..Precious and Few……………………….2/16/17

Roger Clyne………….Maybe We Should Fall In Love……….12/1/16

                                  Switchblade………………………………4/11/17

Cold War Kids……….Hang Me Up To Dry…………………….7/28/17

Coldplay………………Fix You……………………………………8/18/15

Judy Collins………….Both Sides Now………………………….4/15/15

The Connells………….Stone Cold Yesterday………………….4/1/15

Cornelius Brothers…..It’s Too Late To Turn Back Now……….6/30/16

Elvis Costello…………Radio Radio……………………………..6/3/15

Counting Crows………Round Here……………………………..8/1/16

                                   American Girls………………………….6/22/17

Crosby, Stills & Nash….Suite: Judy Blue Eyes………………..3/21/16

                                    Carry On/Questions………………….6/19/17

Sonny Curtis…………..Love Is All Around…………………….1/26/17

D

Damn Yankees………High Enough……………………………..1/18/16

The Darkness………..I Believe in a Thing Called Love………6/4/15

The Dave Clark Five….Bits and Pieces………………………..11/21/16

Debbie Gibson……….Only In My Dreams……………………..6/22/15

Deep Purple………….Smoke on the Water……………………9/21/16

Depeche Mode……….People Are People…………………….10/18/16

Des’ree……………….You Gotta Be…………………………….4/9/15

Devo………………….Uncontrollable Urge…………………….6/6/16

Neil Diamond…………September Morn………………………..9/1/15

1. Diddy……………….Coming Home…………………………..7/20/16

Bo Diddley………….Before You Accuse Me…………………..10/17/16

Dire Straits……………Romeo & Juliet………………………….6/23/15

Doobie Brothers……..What A Fool Believes…………………..4/1/16

                                  Long Train Running…………………….5/14/17

The Doors…………….Light My Fire……………………………5/18/16

Touch Me………………………………..7/5/16

Love Her Madly…………………………7/31/17

Dream Academy…….Life in a Northern Town…………………9/2/15

Duran Duran…………Hold Back The Rain…………………….6/9/17

Bob Dylan……………Baby, Let Me Follow You Down……….1/21/16

Bob Dylan……………Girl From The North Country………….5/24/16

                                 Like A Rolling Stone……………………3/30/17

E

Eagles………………..Lyin’ Eyes………………………………..8/20/15

Steve Earle………….The Devil’s Right Hand………………….9/26/16

Earth, Wind & Fire…..Sing A Song…………………………….2/24/17

Sheena Easton………For Your Eyes Only…………………….11/13

Echo & Bunnymen….The Game………………………………..3/16/17

Edison Lighthouse…..Love Grows……………………………..12/22/15

Walter Egan………….Magnet & Steel…………………………. 3/24/15

Eli Young Band………Even If It Breaks Your Heart…………….7/13/15

Yvonne Elliman……..Fly, Robin, Fly…………………………..11/15/16

ELO…………………..Mr. Blue Sky…………………………….7/30/15

Do Ya…………………………………….4/11/16

Sweet Talkin’ Woman………………….8/10/16

Emerson, Lake & Palmer…….Lucky Man…………………….8/21/15

Eminem………………Lose Yourself……………………………6/8/16

Eminem/Rihanna……Love The Way You Lie…………………6/5/17

England Dan & John Ford Coley…I’d Really Love To CU…..11/23/15

                                  Nights Are Forever…………………….6/13/17

English Beat…………Save It For Later……………………….12/9/16

Enigma……………….Return To Innocence………………….11/23/16

Enya………………….Orinoco Flow……………………………9/30/16

Everly Brothers……..Cathy’s Clown………………………….1/18/17

Exile………………….I Wanna Kiss You All Over…………….1/19/17

F

Faces…………………Stay With Me…………………………..10/23

Fastball……………….The Way………………………………..8/26/16

Fifth Dimension……..Up, Up and Away……………………….9/22/15

Wedding Bell Blues…………………….8/14/15

                                  I Didn’t Get To Sleep At All……………2/20/17

Filter………………….Take A Picture…………………………..5/23/17

The First Class……….Beach Baby…………………………….12/21/15

The Five Stairsteps….Ooh, Child………………………………4/23/15

Fleet Foxes…………..White Winter Hymnal………………….5/20/16

Fleetwood Mac………Go Your Own Way……………………..10/4/16

                                  You Make Loving Fun………………….4/13/17

Dan Fogelberg/Tim Weisberg…..The Power of Gold………..8/5/16

Foreigner……………..Feels Like the First Time……………..9/27/16

Fountains of Wayne….Radiation Vibe…………………………8/4/15

The Four Seasons……December, 1963……………………….1/9/17

Foster the People……Pumped Up Kicks……………………….6/11/15

Four Tops…………….Reach Out (I’ll Be There)………………5/25/16

The Fray………………Over My Head………………………….3/31/16

Free…………………..All Right Now……………………………12/23/15

Friend and Lover…….Reach Out of the Darkness…………..10/19/16

Friends of Distinction…. Grazing in the Grass………………..3/9/2016

Fun…………………..Carry On………………………………….2/26/16

Nelly Furtado………..I’m Like a Bird…………………………..12/02/15

G

Peter Gabriel………….In Your Eyes…………………………..2/28/17

Marvin Gaye………….Let’s Get It On………………………….7/7/16

                                   Mercy, Mercy Me……………………….6/7/17

Gloria Gaynor………..I Will Survive…………………………….9/7/16

Generation X………..Kiss Me Deadly………………………….10/26

Genesis………………Turn It On Again…………………………5/28/15

Gerry/Pacemakers……Ferry Cross The Mersey……………….2/17/16

Jimmy Gilmer/Fireballs….Sugar Shack…………………………6/6/17

Go Go’s……………….Beneath the Blue Sky…………………..3/9/15

                                   Head Over Heels……………………….5/27/16

Go! Team…………….Bottle Rocket…………………………….11/19

Goo Goo Dolls………Black Balloon…………………………….10/21

Grand Funk Railroad…..I’m Your Captain……………………..10/12/15

                                    We’re An American Band…………….9/2/16

The Grass Roots…….Let’s Live For Today……………………5/31/16

                                  Midnight Confessions…………………..7/20/17

The Guess Who……..No Sugar Tonight………………………..3/13/15

                                  No Time…………………………………..5/2/17

David Guetta…………Titanium……………………………………8/12/15

Guns ‘n Roses……….November Rain…………………………11/1/16

                                  Used To Love Her……………………….6/26/17

H

Sammy Hagar……….I’ll Fall In Love Again…………………..2/9/17

Emmylou Harris/Knopfler….This Is Us…………………………1/13/17

George Harrison…….Blow Away……………………………….1/13/16

Heart………………….Alone……………………………………..4/5/16

Heatwave…………….Boogie Nights…………………………….10/16/16

Jimi Hendrix………….Star Spangled Banner…………………..7/4/17

Peter Himmelman…..Waning Moon…………………………….4/25/16

The Hives…………….Hate To Say I Told You So……………..5/22/15

Hole…………………..Doll Parts…………………………………1/15/16

Hollies…………………I Can’t Let Go……………………………3/12/15

                                     Carrie Anne……………………………..4/29/16

                                      Carousel………………………………….2/1/17

Rupert Holmes………Escape (Pina Colada)………………………9/23/15

Hoodoo Gurus……….What’s My Scene?………………………….7/13/17

Hot Chocolate……….You Sexy Thing…………………………11/2/16

The Housemartins….Think For A Minute……………………..4/26/16

Hues Corporation…..Rock The Boat…………………………..6/10/16

Human League………Fascination………………………………10/15/15

                                      Mirror Man………………………………..1/3/17

I

Billy Idol……………….White Wedding……………………….5/18/17

Imagine Dragons…….It’s Time…………………………….…..3/22/17

Indigo Girls……………Nashville………………………………..1/12/17

Donnie Iris…………….Ah Leah…………………………………3/15/17

Jason Isbell……………Cover Me Up…………………………..2/18/16

                                    If We Were Vampires…………………5/22/17

J

Janet Jackson……….When I Think of You…………………….10/9

Joe Jackson………….It’s Different For Girls…………………..3/19/15

                                  Slow Song………………………………5/25/17

                                  Is She Really Going Out With Him?….5/3/17

Michael Jackson…….Don’t Stop Til U Get Enough………….4/22/15

The Jam………………That’s Entertainment………………….11/17/16

Tommy James……….Crystal Blue Persuasion………………12/30/15

Jefferson Airplane…..Somebody To Love…………………….3/22/16

Billy Joel………………The Stranger…………………………..2/27/17

Jesus Jones………….Right Here Right Now…………………3/14/17

Elton John…………….Bennie and the Jets…………………..9/17/15

Elton John……………Levon…………………………………….3/27/16

Freedy Johnston…….Bad Reputation…………………………6/16/15

George Jones……….He Stopped Loving Her Today……….6/20/17

Howard Jones……….No One Is To Blame…………………..6/22/16

                                  What Is Love?………………………………7/7/17

Janis Joplin………….Piece Of My Heart………………………6/14/17

Journey……………….Ask The Lonely…………………………6/15/15

Journey………………Still They Ride………………………….5/13/16

Joy Division………….Love Will Tear Us Apart……………….2/16/16

K

Kansas……………….Carry On Wayward Son………………..7/28/15

Keane………………..Somewhere Only We Know……………5/6/16

Nik Kershaw…………Wouldn’t It Be Good……………………3/6/17

The Killers……………Mr. Brightside……………………………8/31/15

Carole King………….So Far Away…………………………….12/5/16

The Kings……………Switchin’ To Glide……………………….1/6/16

The Kinks…………….Father Christmas……………………….12/22/16

The Knack…………..Good Girls Don’t………………………..1/11/16

Lenny Kravitz……….Fly Away………………………………….5/26/16

L

The La’s……………..There She Goes…………………………4/28/15

                                 I Am The Key…………………………….5/12/17

K.D. Lang……………Constant Craving………………………..3/8/17

Led Zeppelin…………Over The Hills & Far Away…………….4/3/15

                                 Ramble On……………………………….1/30/17

The Lemonheads……The Great Big No……………………….12/17/15

John Lennon…………Nobody Told Me…………………………12/8/16

Adam Levine…………Go Now…………………………………..12/21/16

Huey Lewis & The News…..Do You Believe…………………..7/26/16

Lightning Seeds……..The Life Of Riley………………………..11/25/16

Linkin Park…………..In The End………………………………..7/21/17

Lipps, Inc……………..Funkytown……………………………….3/10/15

Little Anthony…………Going Out of My Head………………….7/9/15

Live…………………..Lightning Crashes……………………….10/12/16

Lisa Loeb……………I Do………………………………………..7/31/17

Looking Glass………Brandy…………………………………….5/11/15

Lovin’ Spoonful………Summer In The City……………………6/21/16

Low vs Diamond…….Heart Attack……………………………..12/12/16

Lulu…………………..To Sir With Love………………………….2/8/17

M

Madonna…………….Borderline……………………………….9/1/16

Mamas & The Papas…Monday, Monday……………………..1/15/17

Chuck Mangione……Feels So Good…………………………..2/7/17

Barry Manilow………Looks Like We Made It…………………3/10/17

Bob Marley………….I Shot The Sheriff……………………….3/24/16

Dave Mason…………We Just Disagree……………………….3/20/15

Massive Attack……..Teardrop…………………………………7/19/17

Don McLean…………American Pie……………………………10/2

Randy Meisner………Achin’ From Desire……………………..4/16/15

Melanie………………Brand New Key………………………….3/3/17

John Mellencamp…..Check It Out……………………………..10/7/15

Sergio Mendes……..The Fool on the Hill……………………..8/4/16

Jo Dee Messina…….Heads California, Tails Carolina……….11/16/15

Metallica……………..Enter Sandman………………………….4/13/16

MGMT………………..Time To Pretend…………………………1/14/16

Midnight Oil………….Blue Sky Mine…………………………..1/7/16

                                 Forgotten Years………………………….1/26/17

Mika…………………..Grace Kelly………………………………4/13/15

Nicki Minaj……………Starships…………………………………6/16/17

Joni Mitchell………….Woodstock……………………………..9/19/16

Modern English……..Hands Across The Sea…………………4/20/15

The Modern Lovers…Roadrunners…………………………….12/27/16

Eddie Money………..Two Tickets to Paradise………………..9/24/15

The Monkees………..Pleasant Valley Sunday………………..8/7/15

                                Daydream Believer………………………10/5/16

The Moody Blues……Go Now………………………………….12/14/16

Alanis Morrissette……..One Hand In My Pocket……………….5/27/15

Van Morrison……….Whenever God Shines His Light………11/24/16

                                    Here Comes The Night………………….6/16/16

                                     So Quiet In Here…………………………11/30/16

Mumford & Sons…….The Cave………………………………..3/29/17

The Murmurs………….You Suck………………………………..7/1/15

Michael Martin Murphy….Wildfire……………………………….2/24/16

My Chemical Romance…The Black Parade…………………..12/29/16

My Morning Jacket……..I’m Amazed…………………………..8/2/16

N

Johnny Nash………….I Can See Clearly Now………………..7/24/17

Naughty by Nature…..Hip Hop Hooray………………………….7/27/15

Nelson……………….After The Rain…………………………..10/25/16

Neon Trees…………..Animal……………………………………10/13?15

New Order……………Temptation……………………………….3/26/15

New Pornographers….The Laws Have Changed…………….12/13/16

New Radicals…………You Get What You Give……………….8/3/17

New York Dolls………Personality Crisis………………………..3/11/16

Night Ranger…………When You Close Your Eyes……………10/19

Nirvana……………….Drain You………………………………..2/21/17

Nitty Gritty Dirt Band…Make A LIttle Magic…………………….3/31/17

O

Oasis………………….Don’t Look Back In Anger……………..5/3/16

Oingo Boingo………..Private Life……………………………….6/17/15

O’Jays……………….Backstabbers…………………………….5/26/17

Oliver…………………Good Morning Starshine……………….9/20/16

OMD………………….Tesla Girls……………………………….4/5/17

The Outfield………….Every Time You Cry…………………….3/30/15

The Osmonds………..One Bad Apple………………………….7/10/15

Ozark Mountain Daredevils….Jackie Blue…………………..12/19/16

P

Dolly Parton………….Here You Come Again…………………1/19/16

Billy Paul……………..Me and Mrs. Jones…………………….3/2/17

Pearl Jam…………….Elderly Woman…………………………12/11/15

                                  Better Man………………………………12/09/15

                                  Glorified G………………………………12/08/15

                                  Release…………………………………12/07/15                                   

The Peddlers…………On A Clear Day………………………..12/28/15

Michael Penn…………No Myth…………………………………7/12/16

Pentatonix…………….White Winter Hymnal………………….5/20/16

Katy Perry…………….Hot ‘n Cold……………………………..9/9/15

                                   Dark Horse…………………………….9/16/16

Tom Petty…………….American Girl……………………………4/8/15

                                    Room at the Top………………………10/20/16

                                  One Story Town………………………..4/18/17

Liz Phair………………Supernova……………………………..4/6/16

Phantom Planet……..California……………………………….7/11/16

Pilot…………………..Magic……………………………………5/29/17

Pink……………………Blow Me (One Last Kiss)……………….9/8/16

Pink Floyd…………….Comfortably Numb…………………….9/12/15

                                  Wish You Were Here………………….9/6/16

Bobby Pickett………..Monster Mash…………………………10/31/16

Rachel Platten……….Fight Song……………………………..3/28/16

The Plimsouls……….A Million Miles Away………………….2/16/17

The Police…………….When The World Is……………………11/11/16

Polyphonic Spree……Light and Day…………………………..8/26/15

                                  It’s The Sun…………………………….6/22/17

Cole Porter……………You’re The Top…………………………11/5/15

Pretenders……………Brass In Pocket…………………………4/12/16

                                  Message Of Love………………………4/24/17

                                  Mystery Achievement………………….6/30/17

Prince…………………When Doves Cry……………………….8/13/15

                                  1999……………………………………..4/21/17

The Proclaimers…….I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)……………….10/11/16

Psychedelic Furs…….Run and Run……………………………5/24/17

                                   Ghost In You……………………………5/6/17

Gary Puckett………….Young Girl………………………………10/28/15

Q

Quarterflash………..Harden My Heart………………………..9/12/16

Queen………………..Under Pressure…………………………9/10/15

                                  Keep Yourself Alive…………………….4/18/16

                                  Somebody To Love…………………….9/5/16

R

Radiohead……………Black Star……………………………….5/1/15

                                  Bulletproof………………………………2/13/17

Gerry Rafferty………..Home & Dry…………………………….2/22/16

Red Hot Chili Peppers…..By The Way………………………..5/2/16

Relient K………………Must Have Done Something Right…..6/14/16

REM…………………..Perfect Circle…………………………..12/03/15

                                  Pilgrimage………………………………5/4/17

Rent…………………..No Day But Today………………………11/6

REO Speedwagon….Time For Me To Fly…………………….2/17/17

                                  Roll With The Changes……………….8/10/17

Rihanna………………Umbrella…………………………………10/29

Rilo Kiley…………….Portions for Foxes………………………9/29/16

Paul Robeson……….Ol’ Man River…………………………….11/2

Smokey Robinson…..The Tracks of My Tears……………….5/26/15

Kenny Rogers……….Lucille……………………………………10/26/16

Rolling Stones……….Wild Horses…………………………….5/12/15

                                  Little T&A……………………………….12/18/15

                                  Happy…………………………………..11/1016

                                  Heart of Stone………………………….2/3/17

                                  Shattered……………………………….8/11/17

The Romantics………What I Like About You…………………10/27

Linda Ronstadt…….When Will I Be Loved………………….11/29/16

Mark Ronson…………Uptown Funk……………………………11/20

Diana Ross/Wonder…..I’m Gonna Make U Love Me…………3/25/15

Roxy Music…………..Oh Yeah…………………………………5/8/15

Rush………………….Closer To The Heart……………………12/23/16

S

Sam & Dave…………Hold On, I’m Comin’……………………….9/16/15

Boz Scaggs………….Lido Shuffle………………………………9/28/15

Boz Scaggs………….Look What You’ve Done To Me……….6/23/16

Seals & Crofts……….Summer Breeze……………………….6/3/16

John Sebastian……..Summer In The City……………………6/21/16

Neil Sedaka………….Bad Blood……………………………….6/1/17

The Seekers…………Turn, Turn, Turn………………………..5/7/15

Bob Seger……………Ramblin’, Gamblin’ Man………………1/6/17

                                 Travelin’ Man…………………………..11/7/16

Sex Pistols…………..God Save The Queen………………..4/9/17

Shonen Knife………..Top Of The World……………………..6/2/17

Silverchair……………Tomorrow……………………………….4/8/16

Carly Simon………….That’s The Way I Always……………..6/25/15

Carly Simon………….Nobody Does It Better………………..11/9

Paul Simon………….I Know What I Know……………………3/18/15

Frank Sinatra………..Summer Wind………………………….9/8/15

                                  High Hopes…………………………….12/14/15

                                 In the Wee Small Hours………………10/28/16

                                 They Can’t Take That Away…………..4/19/17

Nancy Sinatra……….You Only Live Twice……………………11/12

Sing Street…………..Up………………………………………..3/17/17

Skid Row…………….I Remember You………………………. 9/9/16

Candy Slice………….Gimme Mick…………………………….4/12/17

Jordan Smith………You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch………..12/7/16

Patti Smith…………..Because the Night………………………10/14

The Smiths………….Girlfriend In A Coma……………………1/11/17

Soft Cell……………..Tainted Love……………………………12/20/16

Son Volt………………Loose String…………………………….3/17/15

                                 Out Of The Picture……………………..3/8/16

Soul Asylum………….Black Gold………………………………10/30/15

                                  Without a Trace………………………..1/24/17

Soundgarden………..My Wave………………………………..10/20/16

Rick Springfield……..Jessie’s Girl…………………………….8/1/17

Bruce Springsteen…..My City of Ruins……………………….9/11/15

                                       Thunder Road…………………………..8/25/15

                                       I’m Goin Down………………………….9/23/16

                                      Trapped………………………………….10/7/16

                                  Where The Bands Are………………….3/21/17

Billy Squier……………My Kinda Lover………………………….7/24/15

Starland Vocal Band…Afternoon Delight………………………6/9/16

Ringo Starr…………..Photograph……………………………..7/7/15

                                  It Don’t Come Easy……………………7/14/17

Steely Dan…………..Rikki, Don’t Lose That Number……….8/17/15

                                 Reelin’ In The Years……………………5/30/17

Cat Stevens………….Where Do The Children Play………..7/21/16

Al Stewart…………….Time Passages……………………….4/26/17

Rod Stewart………….You’re In My Heart……………………7/12/17

Sting…………………..Why Should I Cry For You……………9/4/15

Stone Temple Pilots…..Sour Girl………………………………10/6

Streisand/Garland…..Happy Days/Get Happy……………….5/25/15

Styx……………………Come Sail Away……………………….6/2/16

Sublime……………….What I Got………………………………9/15/15

Matthew Sweet………I’ve Been Waiting………………………12/30/16

Sweet…………………Fox on The Run…………………………3/11/15

                                  Little Willy………………………………..7/8/16

                                  Love Is Like Oxygen……………………6/15/16

The Stylistics…………Betcha By Golly Wow………………….7/20/15

Sylvers……………….Hotline……………………………………6/29/17

T

Talking Heads……..Once In A Lifetime………………………5/9/16

                                Burning Down The House……………..11/16/16

Tears For Fears…….Head Over Heels……………………….5/27/16

Technotronic………..Pump Up The Jam…………………….2/14/17

Television…………….Venus……………………………………8/8/16

Temple of the Dog….Hunger Strike……………………………12/11/15

Temptations………….Ball of Confusion……………………….3/29/16

Them…………………Here Comes The Night…………………6/6/16

They Might Be Giants….Birdhouse In Your Soul…………….5/10/17

Third Eye Blind………How’s It Gonna Be?………………………..4/2/15

                                 Never Let You Go……………………….5/16/16

Thompson Twins……You Take Me Up…………………………7/29/15

The Three Degrees…When Will I See You Again…………….6/12/15

Three Dog Night…….Shambala……………………………….12/16/16

                                 Joy To The World……………………….10/21/16

The Tokens………….The Lion Sleeps Tonite…………………7/22/15

Toto…………………..Africa…………………………………….8/24/16

Pete Townshend…….Let My Love Open The Door………….5/9/16

T’pau………………….Heart and Soul…………………………8/29/16

Train…………………Hey, Soul Sister………………………….1/31/17

Triumph………………Hold On………………………………….4/24/15

The Tubes……………Talk To Ya Later………………………..6/28/17

The Turtles…………..Happy Together…………………………4/17/15

Twenty One Pilots….Heavydirtysoul………………………….3/27/17

U

Ultravox………………Vienna…………………………………..1/10/17

U2…………………….Gloria…………………………………….7/21/15

                                  New Year’s Day………………………..1/4/15

                                   Staring at the Sun………………………5/10/16

                                 Where The Streets Have No Name…..3/9/17

                                 Pride/City of Blinding Lights……………1/20/17

V

Van Halen……………Dreams…………………………………..10/8

                                 Ice Cream Man………………………….7/10/17

                                 Dance The Night Away…………………8/8/17

Velvet Revolver……..Fall To Pieces……………………………12/04/15

Velvet Underground….Oh! Sweet Nuthin’………………………….5/17/16

W

Wall of Voodoo………Mexican Radio………………………….7/27/16

Wallflowers………….Three Marlenas………………………….5/16/17

Joe Walsh……………Life’s Been Good……………………….4/28/17

Dionne Warwick…….I Say A Little Prayer…………………….7/25/16

Andrew Lloyd Webber….Go Go Joseph………………………11/4/15

Weezer………………Undone, The Sweater Song………….6/13/16

Bob Welch…………..Sentimental Lady………………………7/3/17

Wham!………………….I’m Your Man……………………………12/28/16

White Lion……………Wait………………………………………3/23/16

White Stripes………..Fell In Love With a Girl………………..4/29/16

                                 There’s No Home For You Here……..4/15/17

The Who……………..See Me, Feel Me………………………..8/6/15

                                 Baba O’Riley……………………………4/27/17

                                 You Better You Bet…………………….8/2/17

Wilco………………….Monday…………………………………2/29/16

Kim Wilde……………Kids In America…………………………7/25/17

Lucinda Williams……Drunken Angel…………………………..7/19/16

Amy Winehouse……Someone To Watch Over Me…………..7/26/17

Wings………………..Band On the Run………………………..6/18/15

                                  Live and Let Die…………………………11/11

                                    With a Little Luck…………………………2/15/16

                                   My Love…………………………………10/24/16

Bill Withers…………..Lovely Day……………………………….6/30/15

Stevie Wonder………My Cherie Amour……………………….4/27/16

                                 Sir Duke………………………………….4/6/17

World Party………….Put The Message In The Box………….7/11/17

Gary Wright………….Dream Weaver………………………….1/20/16

X

X………………………Los Angeles……………………………..4/19/16

XTC…………………..Senses Working Overtime…………….5/17/17

Y

Yes…………………..Leave It……………………………………..8/27/15

The Youngbloods….Get Together………………………………..5/19/15

Neil Young………….Down By The River……………………….6/15/17

Z

Zager and Evans…In The Year 2525………………………….12/6/16

Zombies…………..Time of the Season……………………….1/4/17

 

by John Walters

It’s Medium Happy’s FIFTH anniversary week! There’s cake and nachos in the break room.

Starting Five

1. Marvin’s Room

Last night Marvin Bagley III, who experts tout as the No. 1 pick in next summer’s draft, announced on the 11 p.m. LA SportsCenter that he will attend Duke this autumn. Bagley, who grew up in the Phoenix area but spent the last year playing in southern California, graduated high school in three years and reclassified himself as a 2017 grad.

In order to snare Bagley, who also considered UCLA and USC, the Blue Devils unretired Danny Ferry’s No. 35 and will allow Bagley to wear it. Thoughts: 1) Does Ferry get an second retirement ceremony? 2) What if Bagley winds up playing so well for Duke that they hope to retire his number, too? 3) Is the world ready for Grayson Allen and the most hyped freshman of the past few years on the same team?

Fall classes begin August 28.

2. Mooch: “If It Was Up To Me, (Bannon) Would Be Gone”

Props to Anthony Scaramucci (“Mooch!”) for having the stones to appear on Stephen Colbert’s show last night. Mooch opened with a “joke” about killing Colbert’s writing staff, but then settled in and admitted that his former boss should have called out white nationalists on Saturday (this after Colbert quipped: “Two days (to condemn Nazis)? Does the President order his spine on Amazon Prime?”). Mooch also said that if it were up to him, Steve Bannon would be gone from The Worst Wing.

Also, on the same day that Donald Trump disavowed white supremacists (talk about an oxymoron), he RT’ed a white supremacist who was doing that kindergarten move of asking   what about the other guy?

 

Meanwhile: 39 shootings in Chicago this weekend, 9 deaths. No national media outrage. Why is that? https://t.co/9Crutnnrp8

— Jack Posobiec 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) August 14, 2017

David Gergen, who worked for four presidents, appeared on CNN today, and addressed the issue of why Donald Trump has such a difficult time blasting hate groups or Vladimir Putin, but not, say, Meryl Streep or Jim Acosta: “(Trump) cannot address the hatred in this country until he addresses the hatred in his own heart.”

Brilliantly put.

3. Cruise In For A Bruisin’

Mission Impossible? Guess so. Tom Cruise came up…a little short in an attempt to leap between two London buildings during filming of MI 6. The super-duper movie star appeared to have suffered some type of hobbling injury. To Cruise’s credit, he performs his own stunts (granted, he did not fly the F-16 or make out with Kelly McGillis in Top Gun).

This footage of Cruise’s leap will…take your breath away.

4. The 40-40 Club

The New York Yankees, who A) hit a ton of SOLO home runs and B) lose too many games by one run,     beat the Mets last night, 4-2 (on three solo homers). What made the night momentous, to a degree, is that both Aaron Judge and Filthy Sanchez hit their 40th career homers (both solo) in their 140th and 139th games, respectively. The only two men who hit 40 homers sooner in their careers are Mark McGwire (110 games) and Rudy York (129). By the way, if Judge whiffs tonight versus Jacob deGrom (book it), he will have struck out at least once in 32 consecutive games, tying a Major League record (Adam Dunn).

York is a name with which you may not be familiar. A seven-time All-Star with the Detroit Tigers, he played between 1937-1948. York retired with 277 homers and is NOT in the Hall of Fame.

And yes, because you were wondering, Cody Bellinger has hit 34 home runs in just 97 games. So he’s on track to hit 40 quicker than either Yankee.

Speaking of rookies/youngsters and home runs…(put me down as a Rhys Hopkins fan)

 

Rhys Hoskins getting the silent treatment in the Phillies’ dugout after his first career homer. pic.twitter.com/41j35zwB0E

— Todd Zolecki (@ToddZolecki) August 15, 2017

5. Today In Incomprehensibly Large Numbers of Deaths

 

In Sierra Leone (which is not far from Benin in Africa, at least not relatively), more than 300 perish due to landslides. Imagine that.

Meanwhile, gunmen, believed to be Islamist extremists  killed 18 at a restaurant in Burkina Faso, which actually borders Benin. Does it even matter why?

Lest we forget, more than 240 people in India, Nepal and Bangladesh have also died due to landslides this week:

 

Music 101

Take A Chance On Me

Is this the greatest a cappella song of the Seventies? Sure, it’s not purely a cappella, but ABBA‘s 1978 smash hit may as well be. The No. 1 hit in the UK (and No. 3 in the U.S.) originated from male member Bjorn Ulvaeus being a runner. During runs he’d sing a little rhythm to himself (“tick-a-ch”) that evolved into the title of the tune. How does anyone with a heartbeat not like this song?

A Word, Please

acrimonious (adj)

angry and bitter, usually pertaining to debate or speech

by John Walters

It’s Medium Happy’s fifth anniversary week! It’s not easy to maintain something this mediocre at the same level for this long, but we’re still here. In lieu of flowers, send a comment and thank Susie B. for her consistent World Championships of Track and Field coverage (I’m leaving that to you, S.B.)

Starting Five

White Walkers*

*The judges will also accept “If At First You Don’t Secede…”

It’s not that we agree with the idea of taking down statues of Confederate generals as much as we realize how the extreme response to doing so by white nationalists justifies the action in the first place. The reaction, at least by many extremists in Charlottesville, was so much less about historical preservation than it was about white supremacy. And it left one young woman, Heather Heyer, dead when a car (below) plowed into a crowd of counter-protesters.

Say what you want about the movement to take down Confederate statues. When your side has to chant “Heil Trump!” to make its point, maybe you need to reassess. The New York Times has “A Guide To the Violence” if, like us, you were too  busy enjoying your weekend.

 

Condolences to the family of the young woman killed today, and best regards to all of those injured, in Charlottesville, Virginia. So sad!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 12, 2017

Sometimes it’s hard to find just the wrong words to say during a difficult time, but this man seemed to be able to do so.

2. Cersei’s Preggers!*

*Oh, the judges wonder, should we have typed “Spoiler Alert!” first?

Of course Jamie Lannister survived his first encounter with Drogon (Bronn is also a certified lifeguard) and now word is out that he again is going to be a father. This is his sister’s/queen’s last desperate attempt to maintain both the Lannister legacy and her twin’s unswerving allegiance.

Meanwhile, Jon Snow and Daenerys (his sister) seem to have eyes for one another (once again, you know nothing, Jon Snow), Ser Davos rescues Bastard Baratheon (the TRUE heir to the throne) from Fleabotttom, and now he and Snow have teamed up to head north of the Wall along with Tormund, the Hound and Ser Davos (this is DEFINITELY the coolest posse in the history of Westeros) to capture, alive, one White Walker (or they could head to Charlottesville).

Meanwhile, Petyr Baelish is going to teach Arya a little lesson about cunning while likely attempting to pit her and Sansa against one another. Do NOT trifle with the former mayor of Baltimore, Arya.

And yes, Samwell lost a father and a brother to a barbecue, but he never really missed them anyway.

Finally, you didn’t think Gilly’s asking what the word “annulment” means was just a throwaway line, did you? Here’s the key to understand what it portends.

3. Huddersfield Town!

After one weekend of play in the Premier League, Manchester United is in first place after a 4-0 win. Man U. owns a record-13 Premier League titles. In second place, at least via goal differential, is Huddersfield Town, recently promoted from Championship League, after the Terriers’ 3-0 win at Crystal Palace. Huddersfield Town was playing its first match at the top tier level in 45 years.

The Terriers took the lead 23 minutes in on a Crystal Palace (we still think this is an Atlanta-area strip club) own goal, then Steve Mounie scored two more for the upstarts. Mounie hails from Benin, which is the actual name of an African country (neither had we).

Huddersfield, of Yorkshire, hosts fellow recently promoted club Newcastle next Sunday in a battle of two of the three most northern clubs in Premier League.

4. Out Goes Frazier*

*The judges will also accept “Merck vs. ‘murica”

In breaking news, Merck CEO Ken Frazier resigns from the President’s American Manufacturing Council in protest to Donald Trump’s tepid reaction to the racist violence in Charlottesville.

Here is Frazier’s announcement, via Twitter:

 

pic.twitter.com/a1PNQZism5

— Merck (@Merck) August 14, 2017

And here is the President’s response, also via Twitter:

 

Now that Ken Frazier of Merck Pharma has resigned from President’s Manufacturing Council,he will have more time to LOWER RIPOFF DRUG PRICES!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 14, 2017

5.  A Big Log and A High School Football Death

At Sachem East High School on Long Island, a 16 year-old football player was killed during a training exercise that required five players to carry a 400-pound, 10-foot long log. The log dropped on to Joshua Mileto, 16, and he was killed.

The Navy SEALs do a similar training exercise, except that their trainees are five to ten years older and the logs they use are HALF the weight.

Reserves

Is The American League Rookie of the Year Award Still Up For Grabs?

At the All-Star break, certain starry-eyed bloggers (ahem) were considering Yankee right fielder Aaron Judge not just a shoo-in for ROY (he was at or near the top of all three Triple Crown categories) but as a strong possibility for MVP. Judge has slumped ever since hitting 47 home runs in one night in Miami (related: bad idea to participate in HR derby), while Red Sox rookie Andrew Benitendi, a Cincinnati native, spent the past weekend in the Bronx looking like the second coming of Fred Lynn.

As the BoSox took two of three from the Yankees, Benintendi went 5-of-13 with three home runs and nine RBI. He’s still far behind Judge in the stats dept. (Benintendi: .279, 16 HR, 66 RBI; Judge: .289, 35 HR, 78 RBI) but the 5’10” rookie has greatly narrowed the gap in the past month.

Music 101

Sunday Girl

In 1978, as disco was peaking and punk was peaking its head above the covers, Blondie released the album Parallel Lines. American kids knew the hits “Heart of Glass” and “One Way or Another,” but this song was never released as a single in the U.S. It did chart at No. 1 in the U.K., though.

A Word, Please

promulgate (verb)

promote or make widely known