by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Let Love Rule*

*The judges will also accept “Kevin Can Wait (To Play In New York),” “Try The Beal,” “No Travel Ban In The NBA” and, of course, that old stand-by, “Carmelodrama”

 As trade rumors swirl, Kevin Love scores 39 as the Cavs outlast the Wizards in OT, 140-135.

–The Wizards’ 17-game home win streak is snapped.

–LeBron took 4 steps (“The extra step that I took, which was a travel, threw me off of my rhythm“), the refs kept their thumbs in their arses and didn’t blow, but still missed a potential game-tying layup in the final minute. Then, as after the Wizards hit one of two free throws to make it a three point lead, LBJ did this (the best move an LBJ has made in D.C. since the 1964 Civil Rights Act):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWhRtowbmOQ

A reminder that Love’s inbound pass was sick, and that his middle name is “Wesley,” after the king of outlet passes, Wesley “Wes” Unseld, the Hall-of-Famer for the Washington Bullets.

—Bradley Beal put up 41 points for the Wizards.

–LeBron had a career-high 17 assists and, responding to a piece in The Daily News by ATH regular Frank Isola earlier in the day claiming that he was maneuvering the Cavs to trade Love for Melo, said, “”It’s trash. And the guy who wrote it is trash, too, for writing that.”

Then he posted a Winston Churchill quote on his Instagram account. It wasn’t this one, but we repeat it here because we love it so much: Woman: “If I were your wife, I’d put poison in your tea.” WC: “If I were your husband, I’d drink it.” (If only people said, “Sick burn!” in the 1920s).

2. Blah Blah O’Reilly

The Donald Trump-Bill O’Reilly (TAPED) interview before Super Bowl LI is garnering much attention for the president’s refusal to say anything negative about Vladimir Putin and for his, “There are a lot of killers, we got a lot of killers. What, you think our country’s so innocent?” line (7:38 above)

O’Reilly then went on to disputing that assertion (cue scene from The Godfather, below), but what he should have done instead is what the moderator in the opening scene of The Newsroom did to Will McAvoy (“I’m not letting you go back to the airport without answering the question…”). That is, hold Trump’s tiny feet to the fire.

O’Reilly’s best question, shortly before Trump’s “There are a lot of killers” line, was, “Why do you respect [Putin]?” And he should have stayed there. When Trump said, “He’s a leader of a country,” that was O’Reilly’s opportunity to point out that so had been Hitler, or Idi Amin, or Josef Stalin. Did he respect them, too? If so, bigger problem. If not, then what else about Putin makes you respect him? Name one single thing. Instead of moving on to other issues—which other TV interviewers have also done with Trump, e.g. David Muir—O’Reilly should have kept chewing where there was some meat on the bone. You never get anywhere in a Trump interview if you go the buffet route. Find an issue where he will contradict himself, and stay there.

It’s supposed to be a No-Spin Zone, after all, Bill.

3. Robe V. Wade

A story that appeared on The (Failing) New York Times website on Sunday evening alleged the following:

“Usually around 6:30 p.m., or sometimes later, Mr. Trump retires upstairs to the residence to recharge, vent and intermittently use Twitter. With his wife, Melania, and young son, Barron, staying in New York, he is almost always by himself…When Mr. Trump is not watching television in his bathrobe or on his phone reaching out to old campaign hands and advisers, he will sometimes set off to explore the unfamiliar surroundings of his new home.”

The bold phrase seemed to bother the White House more than the rest of the story. But they’re upset for the wrong reason, methinks. They’re claiming the prez doesn’t walk around in a robe. I’m wondering, What’s wrong with that? It’s his house, after all. And it’s after 6:30 p.m. What do you want him to wear? Sweats? Cargo shorts? His favorite flannel boxers (perhaps I’m giving away too much personal info here?)

4. Jersey? Sure

We all know that Putin stole Robert Kraft’s Super Bowl ring (maybe that’s why Donald respects him), but who stole Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey? I mean, c’mon, this should be a solvable crime. Brady doffed it in the locker room and placed it in his bag. Anyone in there had to have a credential or be a player or coach.

The Texas Rangers (the law and order outfit, not the baseball franchise) have offered to assist in its recovery.

A little over two weeks ago I was standing in front of Brady’s locker in New England, late in the “locker room talk” proceedings. He had already left. Other reporters were so focused on talking to LaGarrette Blount, whose locker is next to Brady’s, that I realized I probably could’ve swiped anything I wanted to. Most peculiar item: An elephant-buddha totem about four inches tall.

I didn’t swipe it, but it wouldn’t have been difficult. Anyway, I think the person who took it is a sports media person. I’m not accusing anyone, but would it really surprise anyone if PFTCommenter showed up somewhere holding a “Is Matt Ryan A MVP QB?” sign wearing that white No. 12?

Bigger mystery: What is PFTCommenter’s actual name???

5. Life Goals: Oscar Luncheon

They held the Oscar luncheon on Monday, in which every person nominated in every category is invited to attend. A few years ago a friend of a friend was nominated for his documentary on hospice care inside of prisons (it aired on HBO) and I was so jealous of him for being able to bask in that glow (not as jealous about the six months he spent inside a prison in Illinois). This man, a sweetheart of a guy, actually approached Meryl Streep and told her that she really was very proficient with her accents, and of course Meryl could not have been more gracious with accepting that “compliment.”

Anyway, I hope everyone broke out into “Another Day of Sun” *dance number in the parking lot afterward.

*The real “Best Original Song” from this film

Music 101

Feels So Good

The year was 1978 and a flugelhorn player named Chuck Mangione had the No. 4 hit in the U.S.A., a song entirely without lyrics. Was this our national #Resist movement against disco? I don’t know. Could such a song chart today? Heck, no.

I just remember every time this came on the radio I’d reach up from the back seat (youngest in family of five; I don’t think I sat shotgun until I was at least 13). I don’t have anything personal against Chuck; I just resent him because maybe if he hadn’t come along, we’d never have had to deal with Kenny G.

Remote Patrol

Debate Night In America: Bernie Sanders vs. Ted Cruz

9 p.m. CNN

This is a thing now? Losers debating one another? I thought we already had that show: it’s called First Take (or Undisputed). Will this soon be a tournament format? “The winner will meet Marco Rubio in the semifinals…”