Starting Five

1. USC Dons Its “O” Face

The Trojans led by as much as 28-3 in the first half and 38-17 in the second against Arizona before holding on for a 38-31 victory in the debut of interim head coach Animated Ed Orgeron. I could say more, but this quote from Trojan quarterback Cody Kessler that appears in Arash Markazi’s story says it all: “”No disrespect to the coach who was here before and I’m not getting into that, but you want a coach that you will freaking just go to war for every time [like] this man here to my right. I don’t only speak for myself. I speak for the whole team. We would go to war for this guy any day of the week. Any time he needed us we have his back 100 percent.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And we always wondered whether Fire Lane Kiffin was only aloof with the media. Kessler answered that question. Next up for the Trojans: at Notre Dame on October 19. If USC can tackle the Irish, they will peer out at a schedule in which they avoid both Oregon and Washington and get Stanford in the Coliseum on November 16. The future for Orgeron is as bright as the sunlight at Hermosa Beach if his Trojans are able to replicate performances such as last night’s.

One more thing, from listening to Fox Sports 1 coverage: Petros Papadakis is voiced by the same guy (Seth MacFarlane, I believe) who voices Peter Griffin on “Family Guy”, no? I mean, they’re identical.

2. Disney: The Magic Kingdom, But No Longer Magic’s Kingdom

I don’t know Chad Finn, who writes for The Boston Globe, but I concur with a line from the lede of his story on Magic Johnson’s exodus from ESPN: “A stone-cold truth: Magic Johnson’s effortless charisma as the maestro of the 1980s “Showtime” Lakers has never translated to television.”

Actually, I might have written it in Magic-ese: “Listen…Magic Johnson, no question, one of the most charismatic players in the history of the NBA (oh, and he was a player alright [chuckles]. But that man’s basketball opinions make me wonder if the NBA is also a ‘League of Denial.'”

Whether or not Bill Simmons directly played a role in Magic’s departure, there’s no doubt that “NBA Countdown” is about to stage its own “Ewing Theory” experiment. Also, the show adds more of an East Coast bias, as Magic departs and New Jersey native/Providence resident Doris Burke joins the team.

 

Listen, Simmons has practically memorized both The Godfather and The Godfather 2. He knows how this game is played. And he just placed Magic on a rowboat in the middle of Lake Tahoe. Capisce?

So, consider this near-future scenario:

A) Magic announces departure, as Simmons air-high fives Cousin Sal.

B) The Boston Red Sox advance to the World Series to face –don’t even wait for it–the Los Angeles Dodgers, who are partially owned by Magic Johnson.

C) Simmons calls up his ol’ “NBA Countdown” partner for tickets.

C) “Listen, Bill… yeah, we ain’t got no tickets.”

3. Colon Blow, Etc.

It’s easy to second-guess now, of course, but Oakland’s Bartolo Colon had the second-lowest ERA in the American League this season. Colon was rested and ready for Game 5, but manager Bob Melvin went with rookie Sonny Gray. I bet Colon and Craig Kimbrel could have a really interesting conversation right now. In what language, I’m not sure, but it would be interesting.

Justin Verlander pitched 6 and 2/3 innings of no-hit ball in Game 5 in Oakland last night before surrendering a base hit, one of two, in Detroit’s series-clinching victory. Verlander’s line for the series reads 15 innings pitched, 6 hits, no runs. It’s astounding that he got one No Decision and was one swing away from another last night. On the other hand, it’s difficult to beat an opponent when none of your hitters ever reach second base.

In eight of the 18 divisional series games played, or nearly half, the losing side scored one or fewer runs. Dominant pitching performances such as those by Verlander, or rookie Michael Wacha’s Game 4 gem for the Cardinals, in which he pitched no-hit ball into the eighth before surrendering a hit — a solo home run — are what decide series.

The A’s, by the way, may want to work on their plate discipline in the offseason. They whiffed a divisional series-record 57 times, which is the equivalent of two games plus one inning of strikeouts.

I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know, but as in hold-em, a pair of aces –“bullets” — is a great opening hand in the postseason. Rating the best pairs:

Tigers: Max Scherzer and Verlander. Oddly enough, Anibel Sanchez has a lower ERA this season than either of them.

Cardinals: Adam Wainwright and Wacha. Only because I’m not entirely sold on Zach Greinke.

Dodgers: Clayton Kershaw and Greinke.

Red Sox: Clay Bucholz and John Lackey.

I like Boston better than the other three squads to host a parade some time around Halloween, but only because the Sawx have the best shutdown relievers. Still, it’s intriguing. The most potent offense has the least effective one-two starting punch. We’ll see what happens.

4. The In-Laws

Our pal Rick Reilly did not just misquote anybody in his ESPN.com piece on the legitimacy of the “Redskins” name. Riles misquoted his father-in-law, second-wife edition, Bob Burns, who just happens to be Native American. At least that’s what Burns, a member of the Blackfeet (hey, that’s racist!) Tribe, claims in a letter to the Indian Country Today Media Network.

Did Riles massage or deliberately misinterpret a quote? Or did Burns begin to feel some heat from his Native American cronies and reconsider his words?

A message from this former fact-checker of Riles: You do not fact-check quotes. You fact-check the facts within a quote, but you do not fact-check opinions expressed. Why not? Because if every fact-checker asked anyone who ever made a potentially provocative statement if he or she actually said that before publication, what percentage of those comments do you think would ever make print?

All I know is that ESPN needs to televise “A Very Reilly Thanksgiving” next month. Will the Reilly tribe (oops, sorry) circle the wagons (oops, sorry again) or will Rick and Bob smoke ’em peace pipe (I just can’t help myself)?

5. Hold on. Soccer? Really?

Right there inside Sports Illustrated, senior writer Grant Wahl profiles Bob Bradley, the brother of one of my all-time favorite SI alums, Jeff Bradley (Leather Head baseball gloves make a terrific Christmas gift!) , in a piece entitled “American Pharoah.” Meanwhile, in Newsweek’s iPad edition, yours truly argues that the world’s greatest sports rivalry is taking place in the land of tapas and surrealist painters.

Reserves

True story: I’m at a restaurant in Hollywood in 2008 with FOMH Moose (of Moosenoos.com fame). We’re waiting for our table and seated at a small bar that has just four stools. In walks a couple and sits down next to us, the woman seated next to me, the man two stools over.. I nudge Moose and whisper, “That’s Ryan Reynolds!”

“Idiot,” she whispers back, “that’s Scarlett Johansson seated right next to you.”

I cannot be 100% sure that Moose uttered, “Idiot” (I don’t want Moose to go all Bob Burns on me here), but I imagine she was thinking it. Either way, I look forward to our next steak together.

The points being: 1) I often miss what’s right in front of me 2) If Charlize Theron or Jessica Biel sat next to me, I think I’d notice them, and 3) Van Wilder is super dreamy.

*******

The Minnesota Lynx are YOUR WNBA champions. The WNBA Finals mercifully ended in the minimum number of games, as the Lynx swept the Atlanta Dream. It’s been that kind of week in the Peachtree City.

******

Remote Patrol

Walking Dead Marathon

AMC 8 p.m.

Also, tomorrow ABC Noon

 

In honor of tomorrow’s Red River Rivalry, it would be a shame not to remind you about this satirical piece that appeared in Barking Carnival a few weeks ago. 66-17. Sounds about right. If you want to watch another “Walking Dead” marathon, it starts up again this evening at 8 p.m. and runs until 1 a.m. Then it returns Saturday afternoon at 1 p.m. in anticipation of Sunday night’s Season 4 premiere.