Monthly Archives: May 2021

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Phil, Fifty, Fit, Filthy

At age 50, Phil Mickelson becomes the oldest man ever to win a major: the PGA Championship at the scenic and sublime Ocean Course in Kiawah, S.C. It’s his sixth major championship and his first in nearly eight years, when he won the British Open in 2013.

Jack Nicklaus won the Masters in 1986 at age 46. And while age 46 in ’86 is older than age 50 in ’21 as far as we are concerned—everyone’s Sally O’Malley these days—you could also contend that there’s a lot more young talent on the PGA Tour today than there was in ’86. For the record, Nicklaus was not the previous oldest winner of a major. That distinction belonged to Julius Boros, who was 48 in 1968 when he won the PGA Championship. Surely, you remember.

Extreme Race, Extreme Conditions

This one has Jon Krakauer’s name written all over it.

Twenty-one runners perished when wind, freezing rain and hail swept into a 62-mile ultra-marathon in China over the weekend. The extreme conditions in the Yellow River Stone Forest struck at high altitudes (6,500 feet and runners, clad in light running gear, had little protection against the extreme weather. Another 151 runners survived the race in Gansu Province.

A fatality total of 21 may be the largest for any single road- or trail-running event we know of.

Joke Swap

Cecily Strong’s send-up of Jeanine Pirro was, well, strong. However, this was our favorite moment from the finale “Weekend Update” of Saturday Night Live’s 46th season. When Colin Jost and Michael Che write racially charged jokes that the other must read, without having previously seen them (and we hope that set-up is legit), it leads for some funny stuff. Laughter is a palliative against racism.

Speaking of which, how prescient was this old Chappelle Show sketch?

Women Jocks Rock

Here’s Simone Biles, who people in the know are calling the greatest female gymnast ever, doing something on a vault that no one has ever done before. And, at a lower level, but no less impressive, a memorable catch at a high school state championship softball game in Utah.

The common thread among both feats? Focus.

Star, 80

An 80th birthday today? It ain’t me, babe. It’s Bob Dylan. The troubadour from Hibbing who started out playing West Village coffee houses and became the voice of a generation (while, some say, appropriating Woody Guthrie’s style). Three favorite Dylan tunes?

Visions Of Johanna, Girl From The North Country, Mr. Tambourine Man.

Here’s another opinion.

We own Bob Dylan Live 1966 (The Judas concert) and can listen to it over and over and over again. Like it’s a rolling stone.

Star 80? No, Stars Over 80

For no particular reason (okay, maybe from the above item), we’ve compiled a list of the greatest living movie stars over the age of 80 yeas old. Feel free to quibble with our rankings. A bold-type name means he or she is an Oscar winner. An asterisk means an Oscar nominee. We also include the ages of each.

  1. Jack Nicholson, 84
  2. Clint Eastwood, 90
  3. Sidney Poitier, 94
  4. Sophia Loren, 86
  5. Eva Marie Saint, 96
  6. Gene Hackman, 91
  7. Joanne Woodward, 91
  8. Mel Brooks, 94
  9. Angela Lansbury, 95*
  10. Dick Van Dyke, 95

Also worth noting: Eva Marie Saint is hardly the only Hitchcock blonde still with us. Tippi Hedren (91), Vera Miles (91) and Kim Novak (88) are all still breathing, too. Darth Vader (James Earl Jones, 90) and Harry Belafonte (94) are also still kicking.

UPDATE: A big name, an Oscar-winner, I forgot: Woody Allen, 85.

The Kid

An equalizer in the 87th minute prevented The Kid from a victory on Friday. That’s what you get for scrounging around in the English League One.

He’s moving back to frozen pond today:

VEGAS minus $180 to win $100 over Minnesota

The Kid’s record is not 6-3 and the bank is at $1,220.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Nobody Beats The Wiz (Twice In 3 Days)

Washington seals the 8th playoff spot in the East via a 142-115 beatdown of Indiana. Six different Wizards scored in double figures, from Bradley Beal (25) and Russell Westbrook (18) above to some dude named Daniel Gafford (15). The Wiz will face the Nets, who landed the top seed in the East. If your first-round playoff series contains five surefire Hall of Famers (six?), consult your nearest physician.

Say What?

Two big mistakes here. The first is from Republican congressman Carlos Gimenez of Florida stating, on air, on camera, that he had people in his hotel room at 9 a.m. on January 6th stating they were “going to do something” that afternoon. The second is from Erin Burnett, who is not paying close enough attention to call him on it. Who were these people? Why did you not warn anyone? What specifically did they say they were planning?

Now, the moment has passed. Gimenez will either say he misspoke or that he did not hear anything specifically as to what they were planning or that he has no idea who they were.

Going forward, the most sinister thing the GOP is doing is attempting to normalize the capacity for state legislatures (ruled by Republicans in key states) to overrule the will of the people. To simply say that they don’t care what the popular vote was, they’re going to figure out a way to say that the election was tainted and that they’ll refuse to ratify the vote. They’re attempting to make this the new normal.

This is why we need to eliminate electors and make it a pure popular vote. Even if it’s a popular vote by state, with each state having a certain number of electoral votes. You can’t just rewrite the rules when you don’t like who wins (even if the NBA does it all the time where the Lakers are concerned).

Friends In Their Fifties

A Cup Of Grammar

The Kid

…triumphed again last night as Montreal thwarted Toronto, 2-1.

That pushes his record to 6-2 and his bank to $1,320.

Today The Kid goes arcane, to the third tier of English football, English League One (not to be confused with The English League, I confess). He likes…

BLACKPOOL +125 over Oxford United.

Betting $100 to win $125 should Blackpool prevail.

I’m fairly certain Blackpool was one of the seven kingdoms in Game Of Thrones.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Three-Rim Circus

Moments after taking a hard foul to the face from Draymond Green (and going full Gloria Swanson drama queen), LeBron James hit this :24-clock beater from nearly 30 feet away. There was just under one minute left. The score was tied.

LeBron ripped off a seemingly fresh quote afterward: “I saw three rims and I just shot at the middle one.”

The winners of this play-in game? The Lakers.

The losers? The Phoenix Suns, who finished one game off the NBA’s best record but will draw the Lakers in the first round. Ouch.

It’s Easy

On the House floor yesterday, 35 Republicans had the temerity to vote in favor of a bipartisan commission to investigate the January 6th insurrection. You know, the domestic tour-orists. But a full 175 voted against.

Here’s the three possible reasons for those cravenly 175 voting as they did: 1) they’re afraid of Donald Trump calling them out to “the base” 2) they were in on it or 3) they’re good friends or professionally linked to a Rep who was in on it.

It’s actually helpful to see who the bamboozlers of the Benghazi Boomerang are. Any Republican, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who bluntly comes out against such a commission is basically saying treason over truth. The GOP had its Benghazi moment (eight of them, actually), hounded Hillary for nearly a decade and then made her spend 11 hours in the witness chair. And we didn’t even have Benghazi footage.

So why don’t they want to get to the bottom of January 6th? Why no interest? Because the truth will be illuminating.

75 and Cher

Cher celebrates a 75th birthday today.

Half-breed (her term), singer of a No. 1 song on the Billboard charts (“I Got You, Babe”) back when she was just 19 years old (1965), co-host with husband Sonny Bono of a prime-time variety hour on CBS, Oscar winner, comeback queen, diva, legend. As Greg Kinnear’s character in Stuck On You once quipped, “Boozin’ with Cher.”

Happy Birthday. And yes, we do believe in life after love.

Another No-No

This time it was Corey Kluber of the New York Yankees blanking the Texas Rangers. It’s not even Memorial Day and we’ve had six no-hitters this season. The single-season record is seven. Curiously, only three different teams have been no-hit, each of them twice: the Indians, Mariners and Rangers.

Here, the NYT attempts to explain why…

Crypto Crash (And Rebound?)

Bitcoin plunged some 30% yesterday as more and more Americans shared Bill Maher’s withering rebuke of 10 days past (No? That’s not the reason? Well, the timing sure fits). Five weeks ago, a single Bitcoin was worth $64,000. Yesterday, that same mined cryptocurrency (which, let’s face it, only exists in all of our mutual imaginations or it does not exist at all) was worth $33,000. And yet, it’s currently up to $42,000 so if you bought at the very bottom you’re up about 30% in one day.

I go back to Maher’s “New Rules” essay and to “Weekend Update’s” “What is dogecoin?” bit. Those happened on consecutive nights nearly two weeks ago. And right after crypto began to crater.

It’s Not Complicated

As you may know, I spent the past 13 months working a minimum-wage job as a side job. But for some of my co-workers, it was their main job. This is at a major American corporation, publicly traded, that is successful. There’s no way you could work there 40 hours a week and afford an apartment and a car payment or even gasoline (as well as food). The bare essentials.

And yet that company brags about the tens of billions in profit it made in that year. Companies ought to be successful. But employees ought to earn the bare minimum to live a minimally respectable life (food, shelter, clothing, and maybe Netflix or Amazon Prime, ya know).

I could’ve taken unemployment. I never have and I never will. But for the amount of time I devoted to earning barely more than someone on unemployment did, I was a sucker. Of course, if you eliminate unemployment, there’s no way companies will ever raise their compensation.

There’s an easy solution here: dock executive pay and pay the infantry workers a respectable wage.

The Kid

… was quite pleased with LeBron’s long-range missile.

That earned him $200 and brings his bank to $1,220. Also, he’s now 5-2.

Stay tuned…

Tonight he likes the Maple Leafs -200 to win $100 over the Canadiens.

Beauty

…and a beast who is a beauty. I’m constantly impressed with how intelligent elephants are. They have empathy and understanding and anybody who kills one should go straight to hell (This will be a happy video, don’t be afraid to watch):

https://twitter.com/sats45/status/1394866990309789701?s=20

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 5 Comments

by John Walters

(Rep. Andrew Clyde, far left in this pic and far right in his politics, who’d later call the insurrection a “tourist visit”)

Truth, Trump, Treason

It feels as if these three alliterative articles have been dancing around one another for years now, no? Aren’t you dizzy? I am.

The latest: House Republicans want to prevent a bipartisan commission investigating the January 6th insurrection/”tourist visit” because, well, the tricky thing about treason from inside the house is that the very folks perpetrating it are the ones charged to investigate (see: Catholic Church, police internal investigations). So you have that going on while the New York Attorney General announced that the Trump Corporation (“I never met them, I may have taken a few pictures with them, I take pictures with a lot of people”) is now under criminal investigation.

Let us proceed to the finish line: the Republicans are hoping they can forestall any meaningful investigation into who was responsible for January 6th while passing voter repression laws. They’re attempting to stall the game until election day 2022 at the very least. Meanwhile the other side is attempting to bury Trump in legal issues—subpoenas, indictments, even trials—before he ever has a chance to re-run for president in 2024.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden is test-driving electric Ford trucks in Detroit.

Now you’re all caught up.

Spencer Grit(s)

Two years ago Spencer Turnbull led all Major League pitchers in a most dubious statistic: Losses. The Alabama native’s record that season was 3-17.

On Tuesday night Turnbull, in his fourth season with the Detroit Tigers, tossed a no-hitter against the Mariners in Seattle. Turnbull’s 117-pitch gem, also his first career complete game, was baseball’s fifth no-hitter this season (and second against the Mariners in Seattle). The last time baseball saw a quintet of no-hitters before June 1 was in 1917. They were tossed by Eddie Cicotte of the Chicago White Sox, George Mogridge of the New York Yankees, Fred Toney of the Cincinnati Reds, and Ernie Koob and Bob Groom of the St. Louis Browns, on consecutive days, versus the White Sox.

There would be six no-hitters, total, in 1917. The last was started by Babe Ruth, who failed to record an out before being tossed. His reliever, Ernie Shore, recorded 27 outs without a hit.

Last night’s no-no improves Turnbull’s career record to 9-25.

India

The land of Gandhi set a single-day record for Covid-19 deaths for any nation yesterday: 4,529 fatalities. More than 71,000 Indians have perished from the pandemic just this month, which puts the Asian nation on pace to record 100,000 Covid fatalities in May alone. A late comer to the pandemic’s scourge, India now ranks third in reported Covid deaths (283,000) behind only the USA (approx. 600,000) and Brazil (439,000).

Around 1,000 Indian doctors and nurses have also died during the pandemic, in the line of duty, you might say. India is a mess right now. It will get worse before it gets better there.

There Goes Galapagos

Above, that is Darwin’s Arch in the famed and remote Galapagos Islands off the coast of Ecuador. Well, that was Darwin’s Arch.

Today Darwin’s Arch is simply a pair of twin towers. Scientists blame it on erosion, but it sure seems like Joe Biden’s fault to us. Before he was president, we had an arch. Now he’s president and… no arch.

Porter, House, Stakes

There’s no one better at making powerful people of avarice squirm than Rep. Katie Porter (D-Cal.). Here she is demonstrating that Big Pharma’s claim that their prices are so outrageous due to R&D is a lie.

Now we just have to hope that these shaming displays actually lead to some effective policy, otherwise folks will begin to feel somewhat coarse to the effects.

R.I.P. Charles Grodin

Actor Charles Grodin dies at the age of 86. Employing the three D’s of comedy—deadpan, dry and droll—Grodin stole films such as The Heartbreak Kid, Seems Like Old Times and our favorite, Midnight Run. He was also an all-timer of a talk show guest, ranging from mild annoyance to outright provocateur. An outright original. Thank you, sir.

Grodin’s best work, many say, was reserved for his appearances on Letterman.

The mild annoyance and faux rivalry obviously tickled Dave.

THE KID

…returned to the Win column last night with Vegas’ 3-1 win over Minnesota in the Stanley Cups playoffs.

He’s now 4-2 and standing at $1,020, or plus-$20.

Tonight The Kid is putting $400 on the LAKERS to win $200 versus the Warriors. Hate to see anyone bet against Steph, but it’s his money.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

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by John Walters

Here Comes The Sun

Little darlings, it’s been a long, cold, lonely pandemic.

Little darlings, it’s been more than a year since we been here.

This week’s issue of The New Yorker poignantly captures the spirit of renewal, reawakening and reopening that is happening in Gotham and elsewhere as businesses and restaurants return to 100% capacity and mask-free. The illustration is titled “Venturing Out” and the artist is Istanbul-baed Gurbuz Dogan Eksioglu.

Only 600,000 deaths later, with at least two-thirds of them unnecessary. The lives sacrificed to, in effect, rid this nation of Donald Trump.

Electric Luxe Orchestra

Yesterday we were out moseying on our bike and noticed, parked amidst the BMWs and Mercedes and Lexuses at a somewhat tony retirement village, a car we’d never seen before. It looked like a Ferrari or even a Maserati, but we knew it was not. Nor a McLaren. We pedaled for a closer look and the tag read…

FISKER.

Now we’d never heard of the Fisker (the above model is a Fisker Karma with a sticker price of $130,000) but apparently the SoCal automotive company has been around since 2011. The vehicles are electric-based and the company is publicly traded (FSR). There’s also a Fisker Ocean, which looks as if some giant stomped on the roof of your Volvo sub-SUV.

The company name comes from founder and Danish auto designer Henrik Fisker, who knows how to build a sexy car. He previously worked on Aston-Martin and BMW designs.

The Shohei Kid

https://twitter.com/WUTangKids/status/1394485984826380289?s=20

Look at this home run that Angels hybrid superstar Shohei Ohtani launched last night. That’s a high fastball that he pulled and took over the fence. It’s also his 13th home run of the season, which leads all big leaguers. Ohtani also pitches, as you know.

In five starts this season he has a 2.10 ERA, a 1.20 WHIP, and has struck out 40 and walked 20 in 25 2/3 innings.

The Japanese native is 6’4″, 25 years old and not very quotable. Nor is White Sox catcher Vermin Mercedes, baseball’s batting average leader who is from the Dominican Republic.

Oh, Burry Me Now

Remember Michael Burry, the off-kilter, flip-flop wearing genius played by Christian Bale in The Big Short? Recent public filings show that his company, Scion Asset Management, has puts (sort of a managed short position) against 800,000 shares of Tesla. A put gives him the option to sell TSLA shares at a given price by a certain date no matter what the actual price (hence, if the price goes down you look like a smarty pants).

I’d not bet against Burry. Then again, Tesla rose 700% last year and has dropped more than 30% in stock value since its all-time high of $832 in February. It has been due, overdue, for a dip. What to do next? That’s up to you and Susie B.

Exhuming McCarthy

1950: The term “McCarthyism” is coined, a reference to Sen. Joe McCarthy (R-Wis.) who would smear anyone he believed too liberal as being “un-American” or “communist.” He would accuse them of either subversion or treason simply for not showing overt loyalty to conservative ideals. It should be noted that the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC) had been around since the mid-1930s to investigate alleged disloyal and subversive activities of private citizens.

In 1946, HUAC considered opening an investigation into the Ku Klux Klan, but ultimately decided against it. That prompted one white conservative senator (John Rankin, D-Miss) to comment, “After all, the KKK is an old American institution.”

1987: Athens, Ga., -based band REM releases “Exhuming McCarthy,” a song that warns of the new McCarthyism sweeping the USA in the midst of the Reagan era. Everyone thinks it quaint and clever, if not overly ominous.

“Vested interest united ties, landed gentry rationalize,

Look who bought the myth, by jingo, buy America…“

2021: House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (there’s that name again), a California Republican, announces that he opposes a bipartisan commission to investigate the events of January 6th. Almost from the git-go Republicans have attempted to downplay what Americans saw with their own eyes, for hours, that afternoon. Moreover, even if a commission is created, McCarthy would be a relevant material witness, as he had heated conversations with Trump in the midst of the attack. However, both sides would likely have to sign off on that and the chance of Republicans ever permitting McCarthy to be forced to testify is zero.

It’s funny: Benghazi was not even then Sec. of State Hillary Clinton’s fault and yet Republicans kept that tragedy (in which fewer Americans perished than on Jan. 6) alive for years. Clinton even submitted to 11 hours of committee hearings on the event.

And yet Republicans, once again, refuse to play by the same rules that they once set (see: confirmation of Supreme Court justices). The Republicans’ game is to win at all costs and to never fight fair if there is even the slightest chance of losing. Some people consider this a savvy strategy. But it’s no way to operate within a democracy.

Justice is never the goal for them. Power is.

The Kid

…took a fastball to the face, like that Mets dude, as the Rangers, owners of a six-game losing streak, beat one of the top pitchers in baseball, Gerrit Cole. That -280 puts him under water at $920.

Tonight’s pick: LAS VEGAS -170 over Minnesota (NHL)

Betting $170 to lose $170 or win $100.