IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

Listen, Ringo, we’re trying to stay on the path of the righteous. We’re trying to go full Lloyd Braun until January 20 and keep repeating our mantra: “Serenity Now.” But Agent Orange is trying our patience. And yours. So we may mention a thing or two about all that. Sorry.

by John Walters

en route to a “Stop The Steal” rally in Alpharetta

The Walking Dread

Georgia. It’s the location for filming of AMC’s The Walking Dead. What’s that, you ask? For those who don’t know, it’s a series that has remained on air about four years beyond it’s jump-the-shark expiration date. It pits a courageous and resourceful band of lucid human survivors against a relentless swarm of brain-dead zombies.

Why do I bring that up today? Oh, I dunno.

Profile In Courage

Because the White House had phoned 18 previous times to the Georgia Secretary of State’s office before Brad Raffensperger took the call, we can assume that he was prepared for Donald Trump’s effluent bullshit when he finally answered. Still, Raffensperger’s (and his attorney’s) restraint during that phone call is admirable.

What is also admirable—and it’s a shame we need to be saying this, but we do—is his integrity. He’s a Republican and he knows what Donnie Brash Co. is asking him to do—TO CHEAT TO HELP HIM WIN—but he opts to do the right thing.

(When even the sound tech dude is dragging you...)

This is an important thing to commend but also an important lesson to keep in mind for the future. The only mistake Trump made was not having enough corrupt sycophants in enough important posts to overturn the will of the people. But 81 million votes in favor of the Biden-Harris ticket were still at the will of a few state election officials and electors…less than, say, 1,000 people. And that’s a little scary.

For now, a salute to Raffensperger and to all the electors who did the jobs they were called on to do.

And a reminder…Trump and his followers are adhering to the First Law of George Costanza: It’s not a lie if you believe it.

Here’s Jamelle Bouie (yes, that sounds like someone black because it is) asking the fundamental question: “Can Only Republicans Legitimately Win Elections?

The Warriors Need To Sign This Kid

To Live And Die In L.A.

From above-the-fold in this morning’s Los Angeles Times:

Ambulance operators are being told not to bring patients who have virtually no chance of survival to hospitals, as officials scramble to ensure they can provide enough lifesaving oxygen for critically ill patients.

That first clause. So ambulance operators are being given authority to decide who should live and who will die? Does that sound a little to you like… death panels?

Thanks, Obama.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not blaming the health-care workers in Los Angeles, ambulance operators, or the public health system. Merely pointing out that the same people who told you that the previous administration’s health-care plan would foster death panels now has their man in office (for 15 more days) and we have actual death panels happening due to his negligence and incompetence.

Above: a Venn diagram showing the overlap of COVID-19 deniers and election result deniers.

If It’s All White, It’s Alright

Here’s Chris Rock in his absolute prime (and I was fortunate enough to see him on this tour) sharing the unspoken Republican mantra.

Election results a fraud, but only those votes that went to Biden but not those that went to Republicans, even though all of those votes can be on one ballot since you don’t just vote for the president on your ballot? Sure. If it’s all white, it’s alright.

Senators and house congressmen (and women) voting to object to the election even though every state election official ratified the results and more than 50 lawsuits have been thrown out on the basis of no supporting evidence? Sure. If it’s all white, it’s alright.

The first Thanksgiving: a white artist’s rendering. Truth is they all would’ve died if the Pequots hadn’t save their asses.

At its core, Trumpism is all about white supremacy.

And so you ask a Trumper, what is it about black or brown people becoming empowered in this country that so terrifies you. And if they’re being honest (at least in their own mind), they’ll tell you something about how this nation was founded by white men from Europe.

And then you remind them that this land was originally settled by brown men, most likely originally from Asia (with a sprinkling of central America). And then they tell you, Yeah, but those people were savages. The European settlers were savages.

What was civil about it?

And then you remind them that while the Native Americans were not complete pacifists, they didn’t go out and kill more than half a million of their own kind over a silly dispute about slavery. Yes, the Civil War remains not only the deadliest war ever to take place on American soil, it cost the most American lives of any war. That includes World War II.

So, savages? Well, who fits that description better? The white man.

So once you prove that point to them, they just give you that “I don’t care” look. There’s only one guiding principle to these people: POWER, and how to keep it. Everything else they say or purport to be about is bullshit.

Remember that.

And do yourself a favor. Read two excellent books by Nathaniel Philbrick: Mayflower and The Last Stand. It’s a wake-up call to the pioneer myth.

You’re Up, Mike

If you’ve paid any attention to Mike Pence, a.k.a. the Vice President, over the past five years, then you should already know the following:

  1. He ain’t stupid
  2. He’s a brilliant political tactician
  3. He’s ambitious
  4. He’d rather not take a stand on anything (other than pro-life, gun rights, leaving NFL games early and visiting chain restaurants in New York City)

Alas, for poor ol’ Mike, Fate has finally called his number and he cannot avoid it. Tomorrow in the U.S. Senate he has to decide whether or not to formally ratify the Electoral College’s vote that gives Joe Biden the victory. It’s supposed to be a mere formality, of course, but everything about the rule of Trump is unprecedented.

This is what Mike Pence, as Vice President and thus President of the Senate, is charged with doing tomorrow (from The New York Times):

As president of the Senate, Mr. Pence is expected to preside over the pro forma certification of the Electoral College vote count in front of a joint session of Congress. It is a constitutionally prescribed, televised moment in which Mr. Pence will name the winner of the 2020 presidential election, Joseph R. Biden Jr.

President Trump, just last night, said that he hoped Pence would do the right thing (by him).  “I hope Mike Pence comes through for us, I have to tell you,” Trump said at a Kelly Loeffler rally last night (where he called her “Karen,” which is just the 4,000th thing in this presidency that is simply too delicious to have made up). “”Of course, if he doesn’t come through, I won’t like him as much.”

So this is Mike Pence’s conundrum: Stick with the rule of law and be remembered in history as someone who, in the biggest moment of his life, chose integrity? Or stay loyal to Trump and, at least in the short term, stay cool with 45 and the Proud Boys and your neighbors who’ve replaced their “Trump/Pence” lawn signs with “STOP THE STEAL” lawn signs.

Should be riveting viewing.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING

by John Walters

Donnie Soprano

So Donnie Soprano phoned Georgia’s Republican Sec. of State, Brad Raffensperger, and told him to stop disrespecting the Bing (the Bada Bing, that is). That’s what it comes down to: Forget about integrity, just remember to stay loyal to the family.

“I just need 11,780 votes.” “You’re a Republican.”

Somewhere Richard Nixon is is sweating profusely in his grave and thinking, And I had to resign for what I said on tape?

First of all, you should know that the White House made 18 attempts to phone the Georgia Secretary of State this weekend before the call actually happened. Dude, she’s moved on to someone else. Let it go.

Second, the Georgia Sec. of State wisely recorded the phone call because he knows very well that President Trump has a well-established history of spreading disinformation and not adhering to the truth.

Third, everything about this phone call reveals who Trump is: 1) Heads I win, tails you lose, 2) If he’s accusing the opposite side of doing something untoward or illegal, you can be sure that he’s doing that very thing himself, 3) Come right to the brink of ordering the hit, but never put it in so many words so that you incriminate yourself. Roy Cohn taught him so well.

This you must know: the phone call you heard Trump make is just another day in the life for him. He makes calls, has conversations like this, every single day. This is WHO HE IS. A mob boss. A manipulator. A bully.

Sixteen more days. Sixteen. And then let the comeuppance begin.

I mean, I don’t even have time to discuss the letter from the 10 retired defense secretaries, or the White House’s complete silence on the Nashville bombing, or the pharmacist in Wisconsin who actively destroyed 500 vials of vaccine, etc. It’s just a shit show from top to bottom.

Sixteen more days.

Jake From The Top Rope

Meanwhile, it’s going to be difficult, even though the year is only four days old, for anyone to top this Jake Tapper drag on Trump counsel Jason Miller from yesterday. Not only does he respond to Miller’s accusation that the recorded call was taken out of context by providing the entire call, but he reminds followers that Miller is the scumbag who got two women pregnant while his wife was pregnant, slipped one of them an abortion pill unknowingly, and still has yet to pay a dime of child support for his son, William.

(I mean, does this look like the kind of guy who would fail to pay child support?)

Okay, maybe Jake did not provide all of that info in that tweet. But I just did.

I Love Lucid

If you were watching college football this past weekend—I had to for work—you noticed a couple of ads for a spiffy and futuristic electric vehicle, one I’d never heard of before. The vehicle is called Lucid and it just made its debut two weeks ago.

Lucid, whose vehicle price is a Tesla-esque $69,900 (“from as low as…” which means you’ll pay more), is also a Silicon Valley-based company. This article talks about the fascinating engineer, Peter Rawlinson, who is the CEO of Lucid. He was formerly the Chief Engineer for Tesla’s Model S. So he may know a thing or two about how to take on Elon Musk.

In case you were wondering, Lucid is not a publicly traded company. Yet.

Steph’s Back

Did you see that video last week of Steph Curry burying 105 three-pointers in a row in practice? Maybe, just maybe, practice pays off. Curry scored a career-high 62 points last night in a win against the Trail Blazers in San Francisco (still sounds weird to type that). He had 22 in the first quarter.

Love the last bucket here. He and Draymond communicating telepathically as soon as that defensive rebound happened.

Deaths In Transit

Sort of buried by the other news this weekend:

–a 29-foot boat en route from the Bahamas to Florida carrying at least 20 passengers was lost at sea. Officials have called off the search after 84 hours. The boat disappeared in the infamous Bermuda Triangle at some point of its 140-mile journey. Odd that no story I’ve found has said what country the missing boaters are citizens of or the purpose of their voyage.

–In Fresno, nine people were killed in a head-on collision on New Year’s Day at about 8 p.m. A 28 year-old man driving a Dodge SUV alone was on State Route 33 when his vehicle veered off the road and into the dirt (distracted driving, perhaps?). He over-corrected and crossed the center line, smacking a Ford F-150 pickup truck driven by a woman and with seven children, ages 6 to15, inside. The pick up was engulfed in flames.

All nine people died.

Alabama’s Position Relative To Notre Dame (And Everyone Else?)

That’s Alabama All-American running back Najee Harris, the school’s all-time leading rusher, posterizing 3rd-team All-ACC Notre Dame defensive back Nick McCloud. The game was over right here.