At least Dan Campbell, new Detroit Lion head coach, stopped short of saying something like, “We’re going to poison the other team’s Gatorade coolers with tap water from Flint.” At least he stopped short of saying that.
Did Shaq go too far (like, way too far?) in criticizing Donovan Mitchell on national television for being good but not great? Interesting side note: Shaq was a behemoth who could barely dribble or shoot a free throw (“Hack-a-Shaq”) and if it weren’t for his sheer massive size and the fact that officials feared whistling him for charges and offensive fouls would not have played in the NBA.
Anyway, this moment reminded us of one of our favorite scenes from Gilmore Girls. You almost never see this in a non-streaming, non-HBO TV series: the protagonist, someone who has never committed a sinister action, is told straight up by another, lesser character that she’s not all that. There’s no malevolence behind Huntzberger’s actions; he’s just being straight up with her. Disagree with him if you like (he’s right, actually), but this MH just drove a bulldozer through one of the show’s main conceits: that Rory Gilmore is the golden child.
A good week for female athletes at the University of Michigan. Last night Wolverine forward Naz Hillmon scored a school-record 50 points (and had 16 rebounds) in a loss against Ohio State.
And over the weekend anchor leg Ziyah Holman demonstrated the benefits of never, ever giving up.
Yes, another old white guy is the new president. And yet yesterday was wholly remarkable and entirely refreshing. A palate cleanser (as well as a palace cleanser). It’s almost incredible to believe that the inauguration of the 46th president, Joseph Biden, took place on the same site where only two weeks earlier thousands of insurrectionists attempted to overthrow the presidential election.
Daytime emmy to the camera guy that zoomed in on this line to this man šš š š https://t.co/xhfaBAb7Z3
— Angela Rockstar (Kintsugi era) (@Mrs_ARockstar) January 20, 2021
Unbelievable days in which we live.
Two weeks ago, MAGA was breaking glass and beating cops. Yesterday, Lady Gaga was singing the national anthem on that same ground.
The previous president promised to “Make America Great Again.” All most of us hope that his predecessor does is Make America Good Again. Good, as in decent, kind, trustworthy, neighborly. We’ll all settle for that, no?
American Beauty
I didn’t know who Amanda Gorman was when yesterday dawned. I sure do now. If you have not already, give yourself to these 5 1/2 minutes. Again, looking back just two short weeks, a young woman from Colorado inside the U.S. Capitol, in the House chamber, was giving an oration in which she declared, “I call bullcrap!” And then yesterday this young woman from California delivered this creation of her own words.
Here’s her interview with Anderson Cooper from last night…
Feel The Bern
Nothing said “Watching my granddaughter’s soccer game in mid-November” quite like this photo snapped of Senator Bernie Sanders yesterday. It’s the picture that launched a thousand memes…
I’ve been thinking about something for awhile now, but I haven’t made the time to type it up. So I’ll attempt to do so now. The timing of this is ideal as today marks the first anniversary of the first reported coronavirus case in the United States, in Washington.
I’ll attempt to make my argument in the form of a geometry proof. Please bear with me, as it’s been about 39 years since the last time I wrote out a geometry proof.
THEORY: The coronavirus was heaven-sent.
STATEMENT: An overwhelming number of Christians and evangelicals voted for Donald Trump.
STATEMENT: Christians and evangelicals believe in the power of God to directly influence events.
STATEMENT: An overwhelming number of Christians and evangelicals have seen Donald Trump as a savior of sorts, an instrument of the Lord to save the USA.
STATEMENT: Donald Trump wins the presidency if not for the coronavirus (I cannot prove this but I feel very confident in saying it).
STATEMENT: Donald Trump did not need to lose the presidency because of the coronavirus.
STATEMENT: The coronavirus was and remains a crisis (an immensely deadly one), but it also offered President Trump a unique opportunity.
STATEMENT: President Trump failed to seize that opportunity.
STATEMENT: It is not, nor has it ever been in Donald Trump’s nature, to roll up his sleeves and do the work. It is in his nature to make himself a priority, and in the case of the coronavirus a year ago, his priority was that he not be blamed for it.
STATEMENT: The coronavirus, contrary to what Trish Reagan believes, is non-partisan.
STATEMENT: If Donald Trump had only been willing to behave as a true leader should, to be honest with us and ask us to sacrifice (wear masks) for the good of all, he would’ve not only retained his base but even won over those who did not vote for him in 2016.
STATEMENT: Alas, it was never in Donald Trump’s nature to lead. It is only in his nature to analyze something as to how it affects him. In the moment, he ascertained that the coronavirus would derail his campaign.
STATEMENT: It is not in Donald Trump’s nature to be honest. Hence, confronted with the prospect of the pandemic in the election year, he simply lied about its gravity, or refused to listen to the experts, simply hoping that if he told enough lies or ignored it enough, it would vanish like E. Jean Carroll without a friendly New York City-based editor.
STATEMENT: If you believe in God and His ability to directly influence events, then He threw down the coronavirus not as a means to derail Trump, but as a means to test him. WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT? Politically, the coronavirus could have been an incredible triumph for Donald Trump if only, out of character, he had been able to think and behave like a true leader.
STATEMENT: The coronavirus did not derail Donald Trump. It merely exposed him for who he is. And since it is not something borne of man or a Democratic strategist, he had no one to blame but himself.
On inauguration day, 2016, I suggested to my Newsweek editor that he let me watch the ceremony from the bar inside Trump Tower. The day was gray and I remember exiting the place wondering, with anxiety, just where we were headed. Trump’s speech was dark (“carnage” and “law and order”) and everyone inside the bar acted as if they were either judge Smails or related to him.
Turns out that all of our fears were well-founded. No, Mr. Pence, Trump did not get us into a foreign war, but he certainly launched one here at home.
But, we all made it. What’s your overwhelming emotion today? Mine is not euphoria or ecstasy or anything like it. Mine is simply… RELIEF.
President Trump boarding the marine helicopter on the South Lawn for the final, and we mean FINAL, time. Yes, that is a white power symbol he’s flashing.
In this morning’s New York Times, all of Donald Trump’s Twitter insults in one confined space, from 2015 until he was permanently banned on January 8th. You have to wonder how much better shape this country would be in if @Jack had banned him at least two years ago. But what corporate titan has steel balls like that?
Let’s not forget how this all began: Trump promotes the birther lie for four or so years, and it gains followers among the disaffected white wing. And finally Obama produces his birth certificate and shuts him down. And then, in 2011 I believe, Trump attends the White House Correspondents’ Dinner where both Obama and Seth Meyers roast him. I mean, Jeffrey Ross probably even guffawed at the lines. And Trump had to sit there and take it.
And most people, myself included, thought, Well, we put that one to bed. But no: Give Trump credit; he got the last laugh here. And it almost cost us democracy.
I like what Te-Nihisi Coates wrote here (and I’m sure that makes him feel good, knowing I approve) in The Atlantic:
To Trump, whiteness is neither notional nor symbolic but is the very core of his power. In this, Trump is not singular. But whereas his forebears carried whiteness like an ancestral talisman, Trump cracked the glowing amulet open, releasing its eldritch energies. The repercussions are striking: Trump is the first president to have served in no public capacity before ascending to his perch. But more telling, Trump is also the first president to have publicly affirmed that his daughter is a āpiece of ass.ā The mind seizes trying to imagine a black man extolling the virtues of sexual assault on tape (āWhenyouāre a star, they let you do itā), fending off multiple accusations of such assaults, immersed in multiple lawsuits for allegedly fraudulent business dealings, exhorting his followers to violence, and then strolling into the White House. But that is the point of white supremacyāto ensure that that which all others achieve with maximal effort, white people (particularly white men) achieve with minimal qualification. Barack Obama delivered to black people the hoary message that if they work twice as hard as white people, anything is possible. But Trumpās counter is persuasive: Work half as hard as black people, and even more is possible.
It’s Over: The Rainbow
Who better to put all of this into its proper perspective than Donald Trump’s new Florida neighbor, Randy Rainbow?
Fortnight
Here’s how much things can change in just two weeks:
January 6, 2021
January 20, 2021
“You BLEW It!”
Someone sent me Mitch McConnell’s about-face in the U.S. Senate yesterday in which he says, and I quote, “The mob was fed lies. They were provoked by the president and other powerful people.”
And someone actually thinks Mitch deserves a golf clap for this? After five people were dead and he knew the truth months ago? When I saw this my mind raced to a favorite scene, from Copland, in which Sly Stallone is Mitch and you and I are Bobby De Niro.
His commitment to the conceit has been impressive. Every night that Brian Williams has been on air the past four years, he has opened his program, The 11th Hour, by saying, for example, “Good evening, it is Monday, January 18th, Day 1,460 of the Trump presidency.”
Every night he has noted the day of the Trump presidency, i.e., the Klandemic.
Tonight his count ends.
Now, never mind that Williams’ show actually airs in the day’s 24th hour, he’s been our favorite cable news anchor during the Trump presidency. Understated, wry, extremely gracious with all of his guests without being obsequious, and occasionally, when needed, he provides the stinger. Simply the best.
Pillow Balk*
*The judges will also accept “Not Sleeping With The Enemy”
A number of big-box stores, among them Bed, Bath & Beyond and Kohl’s, have terminated their business relationships with My Pillow. Seems they find that having the founder and CEO, Mike Lindell, being photographed carrying an insurrection playbook into the White House three days after the attempted insurrection is not a good look.
Worth noting that Lindell’s previous wife, Dallas Yocum, divorced him after just a few weeks of betrothal. Maybe there’s a pattern.
Perhaps the stores should donate all of their inventory to the National Guardsmen sleeping in the Capitol?
Mall Of America
Two weeks after the MAGA ghouls and goblins marched the mile from the Washington Monument to the U.S. Capitol, that same space is awash in American flags ahead of tomorrow’s inauguration. Approximately 200,000 flags are festooning the mall to replace spectators who cannot be there due to the pandemic and, of course, safety concerns of Insurrection 2: Boogaloo Boogaloo.
By the way, let’s not forget this photo of Donald Trump rushing into the White House and forgetting all about his wife, while the Obamas see to being kind hosts (notice: His back is already turned to the trio). This after her husband spent four-plus years ladling out the filthy birther lie.
Neither Trump will be on hand at the White House to welcome the new first family. Probably for the best.
A Dagger From Steph
It’s a few years removed from the Warriors-Cavs battles, but we never get tired of seeing Steph Curry put a frown on the face of LeBron James. Last night the Warriors visited Los Angeles and trailed by 11 entering the 4th quarter.
They stormed back, though, taking down the defending champions with a 34-21 blitz in the final quarter. The exclamation point was the above three by Curry with 1:07 left. Kids, if you’re watching at home, this is what a legal step-back three looks like.
In the South, a statue goes up! And it’s another sign of progress. The University of South Carolina erected a statue to former women’s hoops star A’ja Wilson, who led the Gamecocks to their first national championship in 2017.
The following season Wilson swept all the national player of the year awards, was named SEC player of the year for the third consecutive season (a first), and was selected No. 1 overall in the WNBA draft by the Las Vegas Aces. Her speech above is worth your time.
I posted some thoughts yesterday if you’re interested…
A “My Pillow” joke here just seems inappropriate
January Jitters
Have you ever been on a flight where the pilot came on the intercom to announce, “We are heading into some severe turbulence for the next 45 minutes. There’s no way to avoid it?”
I have. Buckle up, America.
It’s about to be, potentially, a perilous week. Two movie scenes came to mind as I thought about the week ahead. The first comes from The Godfather II.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGXG3U_I7r0
You can go right to 2:35 here, through 3:05.
I do wonder, if it comes to it in the coming days or weeks, if National Guardsmen and cops will put their lives on the line in defense of our country… against men who look like them, who also come from this country, and with whom they might even share political views.
You may have heard VP Mike Pence brag that during the Trump administration America did not get involved in any new wars. What a dope. Right now if you are a National Guardsman or cop the greatest threat you face to your life is from an armed American, most probably a white male. Who started that war, Mike?
The second scene comes from Bridge On The River Kwai, and I thought of it as I read that the FBI is investigating whether has charged a woman for stealing Nancy Pelosi’s lap top during the storming with intent to sell it to Russia. I mean, how deranged have these Trumpers become that they believe it’s in America’s best interests to sell our national security to Russia? And so I thought of the moment of epiphany Sir Alec Guinness experiences moments before he dies. “What have I done?”
NBC News: The FBI has charged Riley Williams with her role in the Capitol riot.
The FBI says she told a former partner that she intended to take a laptop / hard drive stolen from Pelosi's office, ship it to Russia, where a friend would turn it over to the SVR — Russian intel. pic.twitter.com/OFW5LuABr2
If you remember the film, the final scene has the POW doc looking down at the scene below him and simply muttering one word: “Madness.”
That’s where we’re at.
Brady To Brees
As Tom Brady and Drew Brees hug and say goodbye after a long talk on the field, Brady throws a touchdown pass to Breesā son. One walks off to play in the NFC championship, the other stays to play with his kids. pic.twitter.com/wdWDro9YD4
The most memorable moment of the NFL divisional playoffs occurred after the fourth and final game of the weekend. A pair of fortysomethings, two of the most prolific to ever play, meet on the field. One, who is retiring, is with his family. The other, who is not and has a game in Green Bay next weekend, tosses a TD pass to the other’s son.
The NFL could not frame a better ad if it spent a year trying.
Look Out, You Rock ‘n Rollers
Came across this old video of David Bowie discussing Lou Reed last night. You don’t like to go to this well too often, but he was assuredly a prince among men. Good-natured, thoughtful, charming, witty, hyper-intelligent. And that accent is so rich. Love it all (except the smoking). Stick around until the very endāor fast forward to itāas Bowie gets off a very funny line.
And here’s Bowie and Reed performing “Dirty Boulevard” together on the occasion of Bowie’s 50th birthday. Enjoy.
Give me your hungry, your tired your poor I’ll piss on ’em that’s what the Statue of Bigotry says Your poor huddled masses, let’s club ’em to death and get it over with and just dump ’em on the boulevard
Pardon The Insurrection
The most pitiful man in America
The president is reportedly selling pardons and will issue as many as 100 of them tomorrow (my thought: small price to pay for the eviction). I do wonder if he’ll pardon anyone involved in the insurrection and whether that wold later serve as incriminating evidence against him when the event is fully investigated.
MLK: “I have a dream…“
DJT: “I have a scheme…“
Look, we all know Mr. Biden and Mrs. Harris have been preaching unity and healing and getting the vaccine out, and that’s all well and good. But what is also imperative is that every single person involved in the insurrection, from Donald Trump to Ted Cruz to Josh Hawley to Lauren Boebert and others, all must be held accountable. All must stand trial. You don’t just get to get away with this simply because no major figures were killed. Am I nuts here or do you agree?
From Michelle Goldberg in the NYT:
Making Trump face consequences for trying to overturn the election will not, by itself, stop the disorder heās instigated. But it may be a precondition for making the country governable. āThe time to stop tyrants and despots is when you first see them breaking from the demands of law,ā said Raskin. Trump, he said, āhas been indulged and protected for so long by some of his colleagues that he brought us to the brink of hell in the Capitol of the United States.ā
By the way, in the past six months the Trump administration has executed 13 death row inmates. By that we mean federal executions. That’s more than took place in the previous six decades. That seems frightful until you look at the hundreds of thousands of Americans who’ve somewhat needlessly died of COVID-19 in the same time period. Yes, Americans were going to die of COVID-19. But probably 1/10th the number should have.
It got us to thinking about how Alex Azar resigned over the weekend as Secretary of Health and Human Services and pointed to the insurrection as having “tarnished the president’s legacy.” Oh, yes. That. Because the pandemic and the putting kids in cages and the 20,000 or so lies had not tarnished his legacy. His entire legacy is giant smudge.
