IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

What’s The Worst That Could Happen?

That’s the question many people asked, some sincerely and others facetiously, after Donald Trump won the 2016 presidential election.

Yesterday, according to Johns Hopkins University, the U.S. set a new single-day record for deaths (for this country and, by logic, for any country) with more than 2,670. It may be less than one week before we’re up to 3,000 daily and those numbers should remain steady the next few months. On MSNBC last night a doctor told Brian Williams that he expects 700,000 dead by the end of July.

The number of U.S. dead from coronavirus–again, the count officially began on Leap Day but probably extends to before then—at more than 273,000.

Remember, the number of dead Americans on 9/11 registered at 2,977 and this nation went apeshit. We’re now nearly doing this daily and the virus will have claimed ONE HUNDRED TIMES that total by Christmas day, likely.

And yet you and I both know someone who doesn’t want to wear a mask.

What is it about some Americans who take the vague threat of Muslims so seriously as to embrace a WAR ON TERROR and yet when 100 times that many Americans die in just nine months these same people don’t want to have THEIR RIGHTS INFRINGED?

I know people, you probably do, too, who flippantly note that the coronavirus dead register less than 1/10th of 1% of this country’s population. Which is true. But on that same note the 9/11 dead register less than 1/1,000th of 1% of this country’s population and we passed a Patriot Act and created a Dept. of Homeland Security over that.

Why the disparity in reactions when one threat is so much deadlier than the other? Ignorance. Fear. Xenophobia. And the ability to award government contracts to defense companies. But mostly xenophobia.

And maybe the fact that most Americans think that the people who die of COVID-19 somehow have it coming. They’re old. They’re obese. Diabetic. Thinning the herd. It can’t happen to them.

We’ll see.

Rafer

Olympic decathlete gold medalist Rafer Johnson passed away yesterday at the age of 86.

It’s not fair to sum up a gargantuan life in a few sentences, but here’s what you need to know: in 1960 Johnson became the first African-American to carry the U.S. flag into the opening ceremony of an Olympics, in Rome; he would win the gold medal in the decathlon; a UCLA alum, he would later light the torch for the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles; and on the night Bobby Kennedy was assassinated, also in Los Angeles, he was the first on the scene to grab Sirhan Sirhan and subdue him.

This LA Times obituary on one of the city’s favorite adopted sons goes into greater detail. For instance, like something out of a Frank Capra film, Johnson saved his brother Jimmy from drowning when they were both lads. Jimmy Johnson would grow up to play cornerback for the San Francisco 49ers and be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Porter House Stakes

Watching congresswoman Katie Porter (D-Cal) destroy insidious and condescending gasbags is our favorite new spectator sport. Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin was punching way over his weight yesterday when he took on the Yale (undergrad) & Harvard (law school) alum and, of course, being at Trumper, humility and kindness never occurred to him. Only corruption and avarice. He paid the price.

Not A Good Day For Mile 1 of the NYC Marathon

https://twitter.com/FirenzeMike/status/1334164629778477059?s=20

Monday in New York City: wet, cold and blustery. Welcome to the final day of December. A lot I miss about NYC, but not so much the weather.

Juno Who You Are

*The judges will also accept “Turn, The Page”

If you remember actress Ellen Page, the star of Juno (wait, did that really come out 13 years ago?), a film about a quirky and independent teenage girl who gets pregnant, well, she’s now identifying as Elliott Page and is transgender. Certainly there’s a Michael Cera joke in here somewhere but we are not smart enough to unpack it.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters*

*Yesterday’s COVID-19 death total was 2,597, the second-highest single-day death total since the pandemic began. There was a time when if that many Americans died in a single day from a single event we’d declare a “War on Terror.”

Herbie Unhinged

Want to see the worst moment of Kirk Herbstreit’s career? Here it is:

Herbie goes full “people are saying” on this one. Here are all the ways it was wrong:

  1. Herbie is a former Ohio State team captain and quarterback. He already must fight the “biased against Michigan” narrative daily and now he’s just given that camp nightmare fuel for the remainder of his career.
  2. He correlates the idea that Michigan could opt out of The Game with anonymous hearsay. Have the Wolverines opted out of a game yet? No.
  3. He fails to disclose—though most savvy viewers are aware—that in terms of his second point, what he’s “hearing from coaches,” that he’s basically being a mouth piece for Clemson’s Dabo Swinney… who just happens to coach two of his three sons.
  4. He’s throwing out a serious allegation—that some coaches are cowards—and basing it on hearsay from anonymous “coaches” (how many and how widespread?) who all have their own agendas, too. It’s like talking to the parents of the kids who didn’t make the high school soccer team and asking them to assess the character of the parents of the kids who did make the team.
  5. Bottom line, this is a serious allegation: that teams are using the pandemic to get out of playing games. Unless you have some evidence, might not wanna throw that Molotov cocktail into the discussion.

Herbstreit did take to Twitter to apologize immediately after the broadcast (not that this will change a single Michigan fan’s mind). It’s been, at best, an interesting season for him. It feels as if he may want to opt out for a weekend.

Rage Against The Vaccine

This is simply amazing. That’s charlatan preacher Kenneth Copeland accompanied by some delicious death-metal licks.

Rage Against The Obscene

https://twitter.com/jamesrbuk/status/1333919015174098950?s=20

There are plenty of monument bases in Georgia with no statues atop them due to Civil War and Confederate “statesmen” having been toppled by common sense. So maybe someone might want to sculpt one of this gentleman, Gabriel Sterling, Georgia’s Voting System Implementation Manager.

Sterling, on his Twitter feed, identifies as a conservative, by the way.

Finally, someone with a pair stands up to the Tantrump.

Pardon My Tyke

From this morning’s New York Times:

President Trump has discussed with advisers whether to grant pre-emptive pardons to his children, to his son-in-law and to his personal lawyer Rudolph W. Giuliani, and talked with Mr. Giuliani about pardoning him as recently as last week, according to two people briefed on the matter.

The ol’ pre-emptive pardon! There’s a lot of pre-emptive active in this morning’s MH, no?

Perhaps Tiffany should wear it as a badge of honor that she was not included on the list. Nothing says “I’m Guilty!” quite like President Trump attempting to pardon you.

Beat Your Palau Shares…

With an emphasis on Sustainability, Community and Diversity, Lonely Planet has released its Best In Travel in 2021. Which, alas, is not simply a list of places to (wishful thinking, particularly in a pandemic) to go. A few places it did name, though:

–the islands of Palau

–Gothenburg, Sweden

–Costa Rica

–Youngstown, Ohio (not really but wouldn’t that be funny?)

–Rwanda

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Diary of A Doc

Delay Of Game

The undefeated (10-0) Pittsburgh Steelers were supposed to host the Baltimore Ravens on Thanksgiving. Then it was supposed to be played on Sunday. Then Tuesday (today).

Now it’s on for tomorrow at 3:40 p.m. Why a Wednesday afternoon? Because NBC has the rights to the game and NBC is committed to the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lighting ceremony? Have you seen the tree this year? It’s green and pathetic: all the ornaments should be Jets players.

Say Hi, Heidi.

Tom and Huck and Louie

Happened upon this vintage Louis C.K. bit about the difference between Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, but what makes it unintentionally ironic/funny is the comic’s confession just after the 3-minute mark. Wow.

How do you cope with sh*t in your past that’s bad? How do you try to feel like a good country when you’ve done sh*tty things?

Here’s one way: By not continuing to do them more than 30 years later?

Straight and Narrows

The Narrows, Zion National Park, southern Utah.

Don’t tell anyone, but the southern Utah/northern Arizona/southwestern Colorado/northwestern New Mexico region is the most enchanted area of the country. Other than perhaps Alaska, where we’ve never been. Don’t let the secret out. If you live in Flagstaff or Moab or Durango, you’re lucky. And you’ll be able to sell your home for double in a decade is our guess.

Florida Man

Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.

This is Stuart Bee, 62, who went missing after setting sail last Friday afternoon from Port Canaveral on the east coast of Florida. Bee set off in his 32-foot boat, Stingray, all by himself.

We’re not sure why the boat capsized but the U.S. Coast Guard found him 86 miles off shore and suddenly became Bee keepers. Do they charge for this service because if they rescue you by helicopter here off Camelback Mountain it costs, like, $10,000.