Monthly Archives: October 2020

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

The Covid-19 19

After losing at Texas A&M last weekend in front of a somewhat well-occupied Kyle Field, Florida coach Dan Mullen yearned to “pack the Swamp” for this Saturday’s home game versus LSU. Then 19 Gators tested positive.

Now what? Life comes at you pretty fast. Only two weeks ago Mullen was talking about how he required a good bottle of wine from the Ol’ Ball Coach after putting up 640 offensive yards at Ole Miss. Now? Is the game canceled this Saturday?

From Anchorage To Athens

Here’s the type of tale just made for cable news: the 58 year-old mayor of Anchorage, Alaska, Ethan Berkowitz, has resigned after admitting to an “inappropriate relationship” with local TV reporter Maria Athens.

This is very messy. Athens was arrested for threatening Berkowitz and then she went online and said she was going to out him for posting nude photos on an underage website. Then Athens posted a pic of what is purported to be Berkowitz’s bare backside.

Anchorage is Alaska’s largest city. And Athens is it angriest citizen this week.

Home On Deranged

Our favorite TV personality, Ben Mankiewicz of TCM, launched a hashtag challenge last night of #ShittyWesterns with “The Researchers.” We came back with “The Man Who Shot Liberty Mutual.”

Then we checked out what others had conjured. Here goes: “The In-Law Josey Wales,” “Jeremiah’s Johnson,” “The Skidmark of Zorro,” “The Magnificent 7-11,” “Slap Fight at the O.K. Corral,” “Stagemom,” and “Support Your Local Sharif.”

Mankiewicz, by the way, will make a cameo in this year’s Simpsons Halloween “Treehouse of Horror” episode.

What Ever Happened To Carol Wayne?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT6kzfDCXlw&t=30s

Last night we had occasion to recall the genius of Johnny Carson’s Art Fern character. That’s buxom actress Carol Wayne with him. Wayne was outstanding at playing the ditzy and oblivious sidekick.

So we wondered what ever happened to her. Turns out Wayne, just one year after this 1984 taping, died mysteriously at a beach resort in Mexico. She had had a loud argument with her male companion, Edward Durston, shortly after arrival. Oddly, Wayne’s body was found four days after she disappeared and three days after Durston departed. Funny that he didn’t stick around.

Durston, a used car salesman (really) and B-movie producer, was never charged in the death of Wayne—the coroner ruled it accidental. Nor was he charged in the death of Diane Linkletter (daughter of Art), 20, who fell to her death from the balcony of a 6-story building in L.A. Durston was with her and said he tried to grab her as she fell. Hmmm.

Durston also produced a 1970 horror fest called I Drink Your Blood, which was the first film to receive an X rating for violence.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Voter Suppression = Oppression

On the first day of early voting in some parts of Georgia, voters waited more than five hours to cast their ballots. In some parts.

In predominantly white and upper-class Buckhead, though, voters waited up to 15 minutes to cast their ballots.

Meanwhile in Texas, they’re suppressing votes by limiting counties to one mail-in voting box per county.

While in Virginia… I wonder if “accidentally” is an accurate term here.

Things that make you go hmmm….

One Flew Over The Cabbie’s Nest

(Lloyd, seated behind Nicholson)

Last week we watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest on Netflix. If you have not seen the 1975 film that stars Jack Nicholson, a reminder that it takes place (and was filmed at) in an Oregon mental hospital in which Randall P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) plays a sane criminal who gets himself dropped into a loony bin. His nemesis is Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher) who controls the ward with passive-aggressive domination.

Three notes: 1) This was the first movie since It Happened One Night (1934) to do the five Oscar sweep: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Screenplay.

(Martini [Devito])

2) This was the first of three iconic films that were filmed in Oregon in the 1970s. The other two? Animal House and The Shining (which also starred Nicholson).

3) A savvy viewer of sitcoms will note that Danny Devito and Christopher Lloyd (his first film) play two of the patients in McMurphy’s sphere. And our first thought was, How cool that they would both go on to star in Taxi. And then we thought about it a little more and had the penultimate epiphany: Taxi is One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest!

Think about it: Mean-spirited dispatcher Louie DePalma stands protected behind a cage prodding and provoking the cabbies. His decisions affect their welfare. Alex Rieger (Judd Hirsch) is the sane McMurphy character dropped into the loony bin who spars often with Louie. The rest of the cast sits around and plays cards and some are highly mentally unbalanced: Latka, Reverend Jim (Lloyd) and Tony (Tony Danza), particularly.

Has anyone made this connection before?

Jim Brown Vs. Lester Maddox

We went down a YouTube wormhole late last night and found a 1970 episode of The Dick Cavett Show in which the guests were retired NFL superstar Jim Brown (I think some would now refer to him as a “social justice warrior”) and Georgia governor Lester Maddox. You must watch these clips.

Note how Brown keeps brushing at his pant leg as a way of maintaining his calm. It’s like a post-hypnotic suggestion. Note when Maddox basically originates the “All Lives Matter” rejoinder. Note how often Maddox interrupts both Brown and Cavett. Note how, in the first segment, Cavett recognizes that this is cracklin’ good television and lets the two combatants slug it out themselves, remaining silent for minutes on end.

Slayer Pete

He will be our president some day


If you recall back last winter, Mayor Pete Buttigieg was always our choice as the Democratic nominee. He was the smartest candidate, he had the most impressive resume (Harvard and an actual Rhodes Scholar, Ms. McEnany, plus a stint in the military… he volunteered) and he would have been the most confounding opponent for Donald Trump to debate.

In a profile story today, the Los Angeles Times refers to him as “Slayer Pete” and notes that he “walks softly and carries a sling blade.” Well done.

Last week we noted how Mayor Pete just destroyed Fox News hosts on two separate occasions. Here he is again, destroying the semi-informed on the topic of late-term abortions:

Burr-ning Down The House

I can’t remember the last time, if ever, that a Saturday Night Live host probably would have been better off just leaving 30 Rock after the monologue. There may not be a more palm-of-your-hands audience than the one that an SNL host meets, but somehow comedian Bill Burr managed to alienate most of them in seven short minutes. Wow.

Listen, if something is funny, I don’t care whom it offends. And some of this was funny. The months thing at the end, while not entirely original, is somewhat funny. But man, the verbal assault on white women… Wow. Listen for yourselves if you have not yet heard it.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 2 Comments

by John Walters

Bo-Ring

Did the Lakers win the NBA championship, or did LeBron James? I’m sure Susie B. will have plenty to gush about in the comments, but we watched no more than two minutes of all six games of the NBA Finals. When the league’s flashiest franchise pulls in two of its top five players to form an insta-team, yes, we acknowledge their superiority, but it does not much fascinate us.

Two notes worth noting: 1) The Lakers were 57-0 this season when taking a lead into the fourth quarter. That’s more impressive than the championship. 2) Adam Silver pulled it off: the NBA not only got through The Bubble but did so without a single positive coronavirus test. Well done.

Spanish Bull Dozer

Another French Open, another Rafael Nadal grand slam title. This time Rafa defeated Novak Djokovic, making a nice recovery from his early U.S. Open exit, in straight sets.

If you’re snoring at home, Nadal has now won 13 of the past 16 French Open singles titles. He has won seven of the other three Grand Slams, total.

Nadal and Roger Federer are now in a dead heat for the most Grand Slam singles titles with 20. Djokovic, a few years younger, has won 17. Wait them out, Novak. Wait. Them. Out.

Hand Him The Theismann

Dallas Cowboy quarterback Dak Prescott suffers a gruesome ankle injury in the Stars’ defeat of the winless New York Giants. It looked Theismann-esque but Joe’s was even more gruesome as it took place higher up on his leg. And yes, both injuries came against the New York Giants.

Worse for Prescott, he rejected a long-term contract in the summer and took the Cowboys’ franchise tag, essentially a one-year deal. He was betting on himself in free agency next offseason. Now his career may be over. We’ll see.

Fumble-Screwski

In Auburn, Arkansas gets hosed when the referees fail to recognize Tiger quarterback Bo Nix’s backward pass spike, a.k.a. fumble. The Tigers kick a game-winning field goal moments later.

Believing Las Vegas

The Las Vegas Raiders (“YEAH RAIDAS!”) become the first team to defeat the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, 40-32. In K.C.. The Raiders and Chiefs have a long and quite hostile history so this was nice to see. Does this mean Derek Carr gets his own State Farm commercial soon?

Elsewhere, the Bears and the Browns are 4-1. What is this world coming to?

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 2 Comments

by John Walters

Pete’s Draggin’ (Fox News)

With his signature student body sergeant-at-arms visage and choirboy face, Mayor Pete Buttigieg calmly trolled Fox News and MAGA not once but twice this week. Will they ever invite him back?

“Now Let’s Introduce Michigan’s Starting Offensive Line. At Right Tackle”

The FBI arrested 13 men, all from Michigan, who were allegedly plotting to kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer. You can read more of the details here. Things to note:

  1. All were men
  2. All were white
  3. I’m guessing most were hirsute

The six original plotters reached out to a group of white supremacist militia who refer to themselves as “Wolverine Watchmen.” This is what happens when the Big Ten football season is delayed and hunting season has yet to begin.

By the way, what if they had succeeded? Who in the federal government (outside of the FBI) would have stepped in to stop this revolt? Would Trump have called in the National Guard?

The Big Fat Metaphor Staring Us All In The Face

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdAEtkjDO3k

Two news items that happened earlier this week that it took us a day or two to connect. Last weekend President Trump was administered steroids and as he has said a few times publicly since, he feels great. “Better than I did 20 years ago.”

Of course, every Sanjay Gupta you know has cautioned that steroid act as an anti-inflammatory. That is, they do nothing to cure the illness but only to mask its symptoms. At some point Donald Trump is going to need to be weaned off his steroid treatments (or, knowing him, not be weaned off and then he’ll develop other steroid-related symptoms that’ll be worse) and that fall will be precipitous.

Meanwhile, as the stock market continued to roar northward it was announced this week that the federal budget deficit reached an all-time high of $3 trillion. But hey, we’re preparing a second stimulus package so the economy must be good, right?

Masking the symptoms of the illness without actually treating the illness. The Trump presidency has been an administration on steroids: doing things that help or mask the fundamental problem in the short-term but really only putting off the inevitable. Chickens always come home to roost (which is yet another metaphor).

Which is why these Trump/steroids and boom economy/federal deficit threads are so perfect. It’s the same exact thing happening.

May The Fours Be With You

Even Tom Brady is not perfect. If you had Brady with the ball and down a point to the Chicago Bears and losing, you’re wiser than we are.

Of course, this sideline public chastising of teammates minutes before his gaffe does not look so good in retrospect:

Star, 80

Today would have been John Lennon’s 80th birthday (and if you saw Yesterday you remember that very poignant scene near the end in which Lennon would have lived out his days by the sea, happy but in obscurity. Imagine…).

Often referred to as the true lyrical genius behind the Beatles’ music, Lennon is, and probably so, but I’d say that post-Beatles Paul and even George recorded better songs (at least for these ears). But here’s one we always liked, up above.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 2 Comments

by John Walters

A Bug’s Life

America was watching the vice-presidential debate and suddenly a new incarnation of The Ring broke out. Mr. Pence, please check your fly.

A Blessing From God

A few thoughts here:

  1. Area man owns stock in Regeneron.
  2. We do know someone who does not know the definition of “therapeutic.”
  3. It shouldn’t have taken your contracting Covid-19 to “get it,” but now is there a way you might possibly get pregnant?
  4. All the vaccines/shots are going to be free? Really? How’s that work?