I’m on the crosstown bus the other day. The M79. Vampire Weekend wrote an entire song about it.

So I’m seated near the front of this double-long bus and the only two people remaining on board, besides myself and the driver, are two elderly ladies. I’d place them in their seventies. They’re seated in front of me. Closer to the driver.

First lady: “Let me ask you a question. How much do they tax you when you sell your stock.”

Second lady: “You mean like capital gains.”

First lady: “Like capital gains.”

Second lady: “I’m not sure but I think it’s more if you sell it quickly. Like in a year.”

First lady: “Because I have some Apple stock. And I don’t know if I want to sell it. I bought it at $100, then it went to $700, then it split by seven, now it’s $300. I don’t know what to do.”

At this point my nostrils flared. This lady bought Apple at least 10 years ago. It’s gone up 22 times since she bought it. If she’s not rich, she’s at least way better off than she was. And yet she sounds so, well, agonized. Like she’s trying to figure out a way to reap the profits of her stock without having to pay any taxes on it.

Of course she’s held it long enough that she won’t pay the 37% rate you pay when you unload a stock in less than a year. But, I mean, she’s held it more than a decade. She’s going to pay the least amount of taxes possible. I said nothing.

First lady: “I think I’ll just hold on to it.”

She’d rather hold the stock and reap no financial reward than have to share any of it with Uncle Sam. At least her grandkids will be happy.

Was reading The Big Goodbye, all about the making of Chinatown and the four men behind it (writer Robert Towne, producer Robert Evans, director Roman Polanski and star Jack Nicholson) last night. By Sam Wasson. Terrific read.

Anyway, got to this passage that gave me chills. What you should know going in is that Polanski grew up in Poland during World War II, in Warsaw. Both his mother and father were taken away by the Nazis. Separately. Polanski, on his parents’ instruction, had run away as the Nazis encroached and hid at the home of a friendly family. Which may have saved his life.

His father, Wanda, survived the camps. His mother, who was pregnant at the time she was abducted, died at Auschwitz.

So if you’re keeping score, Polanski’s father’s pregnant wife (and his mom) was murdered in the 1940s and then Polanski’s pregnant wife (actress Sharon Tate) was murdered some 25-plus years later. Nazis. The Manson family. Potato, potahto.

Anyway, this passage takes place after Tate’s murder but before Towne has completed his Chinatown script. Probably around 1969 or 1970 (that’s important, keep it in the back of your mind). Polanski has gone off to ski in Switzerland for a few months and his father has come to join him. What follows is from the book, verbatim:

When Polanski arrived in his father’s hotel room in Gstaad, Wanda was playing solitaire. Under a soft light, his father was sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes on the floor. He was crying.

“Why are you crying?”

“No, no,” his father insisted. “It’s just the music.” Beside his bed, a radio. A German song. “O Mein Papa.”

Oh, my Papa, to me he was so wonderful,

Oh, my Papa, to me he was so good.

Polanski sat beside him.

No one could be so gentle and so lovable

Oh, my Papa, he always understood.

“After you ran from the ghetto,” his father began, “and just before the final liquidation of the ghetto, they took all the people.”

Oh, my Papa, so funny, so adorable

Always the clown so funny in his way.

“They called all Jews… we were standing there… suddenly trucks arrived and they started loading children on those trucks. As this was happening, most were parents of those children, they started swaying and moaning and screaming and crying and falling on the ground and tearing the mud from the ground… and the Germans were playing this song.”

Oh, my Papa, to me he was so wonderful,

Deep in my heart I miss him so today,

Gone are the days when he would take me on his knee,

And with a smile he’d change my tears to laughter.

Polanski would try to console him. “This can never happen again.”

“Wait fifty years. You’ll see.”

Items we didn’t even get to…

6. Fury > Wilder: In what was purportedly the biggest boxing match in years, Tyson Fury knocks down reigning heavyweight champ Deontay Wilder twice before Wilder’s corner tossed in the towel in the 7th round. Fury is 6’9″ and shares a name with the greatest heavyweight of the past 40 years. He’s also white but I didn’t hear many GWH references.

7. Another Miracle, 40 Years Later: A 42 year-old Zamboni driver named Dave Ayres stepped into the net for the Carolina Hurricanes in a pinch on Saturday night and won. Ayres was seated at the ScotiaBank Arena in Toronto when Carolina’s goaltender went down with an injury in warm-ups. Then their backup net minder was hurt during the second period. Ayres came out of the stands and allowed goals on the first two shots he faced, then stopped the next eight. Carolina defeated the Maple Leafs, 6-3, and Ayres became the oldest goalie in NHL history to win his career debut. Here comes a Disney film.

8. Killer Chairlift: Been meaning to investigate this all week. How does a skier suffocate to death on a chairlift? This happened in Vail. The decedent was Jason Varnish, 46, of New Jersey. According to the Vail coroner Kara Bettis: “According to our initial investigation, the deceased slipped through the seat of the chair lift and his ski coat got caught up in the chair. The chairlift’s folding seat was left in the upright position which created a gap when Varnish went to sit down and his coat got caught around his head and neck area, cutting off his airway.“

A few tweets from the weekend that are worth posting before it all gets lost:

Bron’s chortle at the end of this is the ideal kicker:

LeBron came back home only to see his kids playing basketball in the driveway 🙌

(via @KingJames) pic.twitter.com/vYGVfVeQmO

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) February 22, 2020

Russell Westbrooking, talkin’ trash and then soarin’ to splash. NBA superstars, they’re just not like you and I:

Russ was talking with a fan right before he caught the lob from Harden 😂pic.twitter.com/Dt7Obk92W2

— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) February 23, 2020

Self-explanatory

When a dog knows it's owner too well… 😝 pic.twitter.com/OMVlRYaQUr

— Steve Hawkins (@FETCHDogTrainer) February 23, 2020

Two tweets from Nevada this weekend. One of these men is the president. The other is presidential:

8,500 people watch a 9 year old ask @PeteButtigieg how he can be brave and tell people he’s gay too.

This. Matters.
pic.twitter.com/lAd4WWZb9t

— DJ Koessler (@DJKoessler) February 23, 2020

This is from the Las Vegas Rally. When do Republicans begin to acknowledge that their Chosen One’s brain is broken? pic.twitter.com/242YyXp01m

— Claude Taylor (@TrueFactsStated) February 22, 2020

The Astros can’t get out of their own way…

The Astros are still stealing signs smh https://t.co/PxoMNisHuS

— Andrew Joseph (@AndyJ0seph) February 23, 2020

Coronavirus updates:

—Death took eclipses 2,600 with no signs of slowing.

–Virus has now spread to Europe and the Middle East (and the United States, though that’s being downplayed). Countries that have reported coronavirus deaths: China, South Korea, Iran and Italy.

–Additional countries that have reported at least one case of a coronavirus infection: Afghanistan, Bahrain, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait and the United States.

–World wide cases reported: More than 79,000.

No idea where this parade ends.