by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

‘STOP THE BOAT!’ Dramatic video shows a U.S. Coast Guard cutter, the Munro, pursuing a speeding semi-submersible suspected drug-smuggling vessel in the middle of international waters. https://t.co/Ab4Wiy4yHl pic.twitter.com/mlpC6CO6wH

— ABC News (@ABC) July 12, 2019

Starting Five

Thunder Buddies

Eight years ago a trio of future Hall of Famers, all of them 23 years old or below, led the Oklahoma City Thunder to the NBA Finals and were poised to become my favorite team of the decade. Then success split them all up (does this make James Harden the Peter Gabriel of the band, or is he more of a Belinda Carlisle?). Now, thanks to a trade, Russell Westbrook, 30, and James Harden, 29, are Jake and Elwood Blues’ing it in Houston.

They’re on a mission from God. We have just one question: Has Kevin Durant actually signed his contract with the Brooklyn Nets already?

So what the NBA seems to have morphed into is a dual-superstar team elite class: Harden-Westbrook. Durant-Kyrie. Kawhi-George. LeBron-AD. Steph & Klay. At least seven of those 10 are already shoo-in Hall of Famers. Who’s next?

Grizzly Allen

No, this really happened. Grayson Allen was ejected from an NBA Summer League following two flagrant fouls last night in the Grizzlies’ game against the Boston Celtics. Above is Allen’s second and last flagrant foul against Boston’s Grant Williams. You can take the punk out of Durham, but…

In other former Duke player news, Zion Williamson’s new city, New Orleans, may be underwater when the NBA season begins. The Mississippi River is flowing at a depth of 16 feet, twice its normal height this time of year, as N’awlins braces for Tropical Storm Barry this weekend.

Ruminations on ‘Blue’

For no particular reason, we did a word-association for the color blue as we pedaled through Central Park into work yesterday. Here’s the yield: bluetooth, Blue’s Clues, blue streak, Blue Velvet, blue jeans, Blue Oyster Cult, blue laws, Blue Chips, Blue Ivy, Blu-Ray, blue language, Blue Valentine, “Blue Danube,” The Blue Lagoon, Blue Cross (and Blue Shield), “Blue Moon,” Blue Hawaii, and Blue Man Group.

What have we missed?

UPDATE: “Blue Bayou,” “Mr. Blue Sky.”

The Next Coen Brothers Film

A routine traffic stop outside Guthrie, Oklahoma. The vehicle is stolen. The driver, Stephen Jennings, has an expired license. His female passenger, Rachel Rivera, is a convicted felon in unlawful possession of a firearm (massage your own “talk about riding shotgun’ line into the script).

It only gets better from there. The vehicle is impounded, whereupon officers discover Kentucky whiskey, a live rattlesnake, and…uranium! I like to think a pair of famed Jewish sibling filmmakers on New York’s Upper West Side read this story and thought, Here’s our next movie. How many minutes before they phoned Josh Brolin’s agent, we wonder?

Although, on second thought, that other bizarre news story of the morning, about a grass-roots movement to storm Area 51 in search of the aliens, may be an even better movie. Although Steven Spielberg kind of made this film 42 years ago, no?

E-vict E-Bikes Now

There are two types of cycles: man-powered and motorized. And when you live in a major urban area with pedestrians galore, such as New York City or Washington, D.C., or Chicago or San Francisco, you are starkly aware of the difference (and we’ll get to E-scooters later).

E-bikes, which are nothing less than electric motorcycles, have been around New York City for 5-10 years and each summer I see more of them. They started out as modes for delivery men and with the proliferation of Seamless, GrubHub, etc., and more people ordering out from restaurants, they proliferated. Then the common douchebag decided he needed one, too, or an E-scooter.

I ride my bicycle in New York City every day. Every day (weather permitting) and I’m fine with people owning E-bikes or even E-scooters, but they should be ridden where other motorized vehicles operate: in mainline traffic, not in bicycle lanes.

The difference between riding a bicycle and riding an E-bike is simply the difference, in terms of sweat equity, between humility and arrogance. When you have to pedal yourself, not only do you not go as fast but there’s also a certain level of vulnerability as well as exertion needed to get you where you’re going. When you ride an E-bike or E-scooter, you have the same mentality as someone behind the wheel of a car, which is a sort of above-it-all power trip that these a**holes better get out of your way.

There’s nothing more disconcerting when you’re riding your bike, pumping those pedals, to see an E-bike whiz past you at 30-35 m.p.h. in the bike lane. As often as not traveling in the opposite direction. There are a plethora of reasons why Bill DeBlasio would never get my vote for president (or mayor), but his failure to crack down on E-bikes is chief among them.

People are dying/will continue to die because of this. And the worst part is that people who choose cycling over cars for commuting make cities inherently more livable, not to mention less fat and out of shape. And here come E-bikes threatening the territory (Did we even talk about motorized skateboards yet?).

An E-Bike has a motor. And it looks like a cycle. It’s a…wait for it…motorcycle. And you’d look twice if a Harley Davidson was riding in the bike lane. So why not an E-bike? Just because it doesn’t make as much noise doesn’t mean it’s not every bit as dangerous.

And that’s our harrumph! for today.

Reserves

Salte, patrons!

We chuckled at the story of the two elderly female Burger King patrons in Florida who scolded a man to “speak your Mexican at home.” The man, who happened to be the restaurant manager, cited the First Amendment and made the point that freedom of speech extends to speaking whatever language you please, then kicked them out of the restaurant.

We tried to tell you this last week, but we’ll say it again: Spanish is the official language of restaurants in the U.S.A. now (with the possible exception of the Cracker Barrel chain). You can deplore it or not, but you’re not going to change it. If you are going to work in a restaurant, you’d better learn at least some Spanish. And if you don’t, you better realize that your co-workers may be speaking behind your back right in front of you.

Of course, they’ll still speak to you in English if you are a customer. But why, as a customer, it should bother you as to what language they use to converse with one another should be of no interest to you. Only if it interferes with their service. Which it almost never does.

Related: Last night at one of my restaurants our food runner (if you’re English is not very good, you usually work as a runner or busser to begin), informed me that “we have soap.” I looked at her quizzically for a moment or two until I realized that she was Spanglishing “soup,” which in Spanish is “sopa.” All in a day’s work.

You can get mad about this, like those two old ladies, or you can appreciate how evolution and/or change is always taking place and smile. I choose the latter.

Music 101

Twist Of Fate

Olivia Newton-John. A synthesizer track. And John Travolta. That’s about as early Eighties as you get. After the MASSIVE success of Grease in the summer of ’78, someone decided it wouldn’t be the worst idea to pair these two in another film five years later titled Two Of A Kind. Not as big a hit. Although the tune climbed to No. 5 on the Billboard chart in January of 1984.

Remote Patrol

Federer-Nadal

10 a.m. ESPN

We were fortunate enough to be at Wimbledon for their classic, five-set 2008 Wimbledon final—sitting in a TV studio less than 100 yards from Centre Court. Today Roger and Rafa, the two most prolific Grand Slam winners in tennis history (20 and 18, respectively), meet for the 40th time in their careers. Nadal, 33, has won 24 of their previous 39 matches against Federer, 37. This is the Ali-Frazier of our era, and it is easily the greatest rivalry in tennis history, not due to enmity but simply due to iconic greatness starting at each other across the net.

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

https://twitter.com/jdubs88/status/1149302749277884416?s=20

Starting Five

Coast To Coast

The day began in sunny New York City for the USWNT, with a ticker-tape parade, and ended in Los Angeles with the ESPYs. Alex Morgan, meet Tracy Morgan.

USWNT star Megan Rapinoe praises teammates: "We have pink hair and purple hair. We have tattoos and dreadlocks. We got white girls and black girls and everything in between, straight girls and gay girls." https://t.co/xqu7qrDHHX pic.twitter.com/uYGC7CnJjk

— ABC News (@ABC) July 11, 2019

And where were the bomb-sniffing dogs during rehearsals when Tracy did his monologue? Whew, painful. The world’s sports luminaries traveled all the way to L.A. to listen to him talk about life in Alpine, N.J., and his vehicular accident record?

Two California

Sports Illustrated is revealing its “100 Best College Football Players” in three parts this week, with two parts (and 75 players) already named. Here’s the biggest takeaway for us thus far: through players 100-26, only plays in the state of California (Cal linebacker Evan Weaver and Stanford offensive lineman Walker Little). Vanderbilt has as many players (2) on SI’s list thus far as the Golden State, and obviously also two more than either UCLA or USC.

Also, and again the list is not complete: not one player thus far from Florida State, which only six years ago won a natty. That’s one program that fell off a cliff, which is not easy to do since Tallahassee is a rather flat area.

Keep tabs: Notre Dame QB Ian Book did not appear in the 100-26 list. Is he going to be a snub or a Top 25 player?

This is where we are obliged to note that last year Kyler Murray did not make SI’s Top 100 list. Then he went on to win the Heisman Trophy and be drafted No. 1 overall.

“And Take Alex Acosta With You”

As a young woman came forward yesterday and told the story of how a representative of Jeffrey Epstein’s recruited her right out of high school as a 14 year-old girl and that Epstein raped her (told to NBC’s Savannah Guthrie), it became more evident that there are so many more female liars out there now that Donald Trump is president.

I’m sorry. It became more evident that Epstein is a total creep show, a fact that inspired one of our regular readers to cite a scene from True Detective that fits what Epstein should do next.

DB = Devil’s Bank

Within the industry, Deutsche Bank is referred to as “DB” but perhaps those initials stand for something else. In today’s New York Times we learn that Deutsche Bank, which has been the primary creditor to one Donald Trump for two-plus decades, has also been the Shylock for the aforementioned Jeffrey Epstein. One can take a very short bike ride between Trump’s New York City digs (56th-57th & 5th), Epstein’s (71st b/w 5th and Madison) and DB’s (Park Ave. and 52nd). The new axis of evil.

There’s a scene early in Casablanca, the third scene of the film if we’re counting correctly, in which an executive from Deutsche Bank (from Germany, where the bank is headquartered) attempts to enter the casino of Rick’s Cafe Americain. The proprietor, Rick Blaine (Bogey), refuses him entrance and tells him his money is only good at the bar. When the man protests, Rick tells him that he’s lucky his money is good at the bar (implying he should be thrown out). The blueprint was laid bare for us all back in 1942, folks.

Kendrick Norton

Yet another Gary Smith Special teed up, the saga of Kendrick Norton. One week ago, on July 4th, the defensive tackle for the Miami Dolphins, just 22 years old, accidentally drove his Ford F250 pickup truck into a concrete barrier on a state road near Miami. The truck flipped multiple times and while Norton, who attended The U, survived, his left arm had to be amputated.

Imagine that. Just one year into your NFL career and it’s all over. Supposedly there was another vehicle involved and because this is south Florida it may not surprise you to learn that the other driver was behind the wheel of a Maserati. That driver walked away unharmed.

More details will come out. Norton spent most of last season, his first in the NFL, on the Carolina Panthers’ practice squad and was currently in the same position with the Dolphins. The NFL has said it will honor his insurance policy.

Remote Patrol

Into The Wild

8 p.m. TMC (not TCM!)

Was Christopher McCandless courageous or reckless, adventurous or selfish? We think all of the above, but this 2007 film has a great Eddie Vedder soundtrack and it’s an intriguing true story of a kid who graduated from Emory and decided to follow the road not taken, often taking no road at all.

P.S. We still prefer Grizzly Man to this.

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

A journalist went to cover a story about a shelter for abandoned dogs. This good boy clung to the writer upon leaving. Dude adopted him and took him home.

Dogs, bruh…💪🐶😍 https://t.co/05JjQzL2vZ

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) July 8, 2019

Doggies are love.

Starting Five

American Anthem

For the seventh straight year, the American League wins the midsummer classic. This time the score was 4-3 as only two bombs left Cleveland’s lovely ballpark while the National League whiffed 16 times. Both the Indians’ Shane Bieber (MVP) and the Yanks’ Aroldis Chapman struck out the side.

We liked the right-arm patch each player wore that denoted the number of All-Star Games in which he has played. Also, we did not hear any chants of “Equal Pay!” break out.

Yeah the Home Run Derby is cool, but nothing is more electric than the Korean bunting contest. pic.twitter.com/h5Acu4o34O

— Jacob Resnick (@Jacob_Resnick) July 9, 2019

As counter programming, MSNBC had an interview between Rachel Maddow and Megan Rapinoe running at the same time in which the host positively, but not literally, gushed over her guest.

The Courage Of Amelia Boone

On Monday night, via Twitter and Instagram, the world’s top female adventure racer, Amelia Boone, revealed that she has been dealing with anorexia for 20 years and is only now receiving treatment.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzrHR6vBJbk/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

I’ve long been a fan of Amelia’s since I first interviewed her in 2013 and we’ve since met in person. She is a hardcore badass in terms of pushing herself to achieve goals—she is a lawyer at Apple’s world headquarters in Cupertino, Calif., and she is also one of the few females who’ve ever taken part in the insane Barkley Marathons in the Tennessee wilderness. She’s as driven as they come. I’m not sure I’ve ever met someone who’s more focused and relentless in terms of achieving goals. Read her longer story here.

I’d also like to say, as a show of solidarity, that I’ve also dealt with an eating disorder. For about two years in college, I dealt with the same things Amelia has and for, I think, similar reasons: the hardcore pursuit of goals and striving to be perfect. It began as trying to make weight to remain on lightweight crew, but between rowing, being a pre-med and working a job 20 hours a week, I became a major stressed person. I doubt any of my college friends knew; if you asked them, they’d probably say my greatest disorder was that I was “a little too gassy.”

However, once I stopped striving to be perfect (and perhaps I’ve gone a little too far in the opposite direction), the eating disorder vanished. I’ve already told Amelia this in a DM on Twitter and I share it only because I want her to know how much company she has. There are so many more like her out there. It’s self-induced anxiety and it can be beaten. So bravo to my brave friend.

R.I.P. Rip

Farewell to one of the great character actors of this or any generation, Rip Torn, who passed last night at the age of 88. You may not know that he was married to an Oscar winner (Geraldine Page) for more than 30 years, but you do know him as Artie from The Larry Sanders Show and Patches O’Houlihan from Dodgeball.

If you think about it, or maybe even if you don’t, now all those roles that Rip Torn was meant to play are being taken by Stephen Root. Who is also a fantastic character actor.

Over And Dunne

The MH staff missed this when it happened, but a racer perished during the annual Pike’s Peak International Hill Climb in Colorado a little more than one week ago. Carlin Dunne, who was leading the motorcycle portion of the climb to the summit, which entails 12.42 miles of ascent and 156 turns and a nearly 10,000-foot gain in elevation to the top (14,110), soared over the side of the road less than a quarter-mile from the finish line.

Dunne, 37, who had won the race four times previously, died at the scene. Yesterday reporter Evan Petzold, who was covering the race, provided a detailed account of how race officials attempted to stifle any reporting once Dunne’s accident occurred.

Epstein’s Mansion

Our daily bicycle commute between restaurant 1 and restaurant 2 takes us past the Manhattan home of Jeffrey Epstein (if we turn one block early) on East 71st, between 5th Avenue and Madison. For the uninitiated, a residence between 5th and Madison anywhere between, say, 60th and 86th Street is some PRIME living.

So we snapped a couple photos.

https://twitter.com/jdubs88/status/1148686123901886464?s=20

If you look closely on the bottom left, you can see the “JE” initials next to the door.

https://twitter.com/jdubs88/status/1148686460226330624?s=20

Looks as if the authorities let themselves in Saturday night. As we beheld this wondrous palace in the midst of the most desired area in the greatest city in the world, we thought of the utter stupidity it takes to do anything to sabotage one’s place in it, never mind the evil that allegedly took place within for years. We thought about how Epstein will likely never get this close to his home again for the rest of his life. And we thought about the nature of man, for whom way too much is never enough. And then we pedaled off to our second serving job of the day.

by John Walters

Starting Five

Epstein-Barr (and Acosta) Virus

So Jeffrey Epstein allegedly was raping underage girls, current Secretary of Labor Alex Acosta was helping him wriggle out of his legal crises 11 years ago, and current U.S. Attorney General William Barr was a partner in the law firm that defended him? It’s almost as if there’s a network of sinister and powerful men who occupy important positions and look after one another’s misdeeds.

Though I could be wrong…

Fortunately, we still have the New York Southern District and the power of photographs. We’ll see where this leads, but my guess is that Epstein will forever wish he’d never left France (“zank heavens, for little girls…“) and that only a presidential pardon will allow him to ever spend another day as a free man. And if that happens…

From Dr. To P.R. To RIP

The saga of Dr. Frank Meza, the 70 year-old who was believed to have run a 2:53 at the Los Angeles Marathon, was later disqualified for Rosie Ruiz-ing it, and then who apparently committed suicide last week, would’ve been a Gary Smith special back in my days at SI. That story would’ve come across the wire and before day’s end Smith would be dispatched to spend the next two months piecing together a 12-page bonus about Meza’s inner demons and probably would’ve racked up $5,000 to $10,000 in expenses doing so. Oh, what a time to have been a sports journalist.

Alas, it’s 2019, so the Los Angeles Times had less than two days to put together a compelling story about what led Meza, whose body was found in the Los Angeles River last weekend, to cheat at the marathon and then to take his own life. Certainly, there will be more to come. What’s odd is that Meza was a lifelong runner, and anyone who is knows and respects the toil it takes to become accomplished. There’s no cutting corners in distance running, and Meza would know that. So why would he in a sense blaspheme the very activity that had meant so much to him? For the record, no 70 year-old has ever run a marathon as fast as Meza purported to have done back in March.

Pardon The Eruption

…but I’m Tony Kornheiser….and I’m Michael Wilbon, knuckleheads.

Yellowstone National Park’s Steamboat Geyser is the world’s tallest active geyser, with emissions of more than 300 feet into the sky. This year Steamboat is on track to erupt more times than in any other year in its recorded history.

In June Steamboat erupted seven times—it’s like the Mike Trout of geysers—which brings its total in 2019 to 25. Last year it set a record that had been held since 1964 by erupting 32 times. It’s well ahead of last year’s pace. Is the earth juiced? What type of supplements are the national park rangers feeding Steamboat? Should we move the overlook fences back? All good questions.

Coco, Oh No

It was a fabulous run, but 15 year-old Coco Gauff’s Wimbledon run ends in a straight sets defeat to Simona Halep, 6-3, 6-3. Maybe she can make it back to the States in time to be part of tomorrow’s USWNT parade in New York City.

Gaff becomes the youngest player since Jennifer Capriati in 1991 (13 years, 11 months) to advance to the Round of 16 (but not Sweet Sixteen) at a Grand Slam. By the way, if you are a casual tennis fan at best as I am, you may not know that the current world No. 1 women’s player is…. (Wanna guess?)….

…Ashleigh Barty, 23, of Australia. Barty’s only Grand Slam title happened last month at the French Open.

The Agony of Defeat (Cont.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmOmzbx5b5Q

This is distance runner Hagos Gebhriwet of Ethiopia, who last Friday in Lausanne, Switzerland, was leading the men’s 5000 in a Diamond League meet. The 5,000 is a 12.5-lap race, and certainly Gebhriwet knows that. And even if he did not, he is supposed to know that when you are leading the race and the bell is clanging, that means there’s one more lap. Known as the bell lap.

But who knows where his mind was? He forgot. And veered off the track to celebrate. And finished in 10th place. Of course, if this were an Iowa high school state track meet, he still would have been declared the winner.

Remote Patrol

All-Star Game

8 p.m. Fox

We’re over the All-Star Game, or became so as soon as it was mandated that at least one player from every team must make it. Pick the best 25 players, stop substituting so much, and play the very best against one another. Of course, sub pitchers. No pitcher should throw more than 2 innings (and they usually don’t). Now we’ll go back to screaming at the clouds.

by John Walters

The Women

Yes, they won. In what seemed to us a foregone conclusion ever since they waxed the floor with Thailand, 13-0, the USWNT won the World Cup in Lyon yesterday with a 2-0 triumph over Holland.

In total, the USWNT outscored its foes 26-3. Players such as Julie Ertz, Tobin Heath, Alex Morgan and, of course, Megan Rapinoe, have crossed the threshold into icon status (Morgan was already there) and, if nothing else (and there is something else), will own and operate successful and highly lucrative soccer camps for as long as they want.

Equal pay? From U.S. Soccer, why not? From clubs, well, that’s still a long way off. Then again, if you watched the Gold Cup last night, it’s not as far off as the prospects of us seeing the U.S. men play in a World Cup finals. Not in this lifetime.

Wendell On Epstein

While we were serving the hungry and thirsty this weekend, Wendell Barnhouse pecked out an essay on the arrest of Jeffrey Epstein and its potential for greater collateral damage. We’re more than happy to run his column and, as we have to sprint off to another shift—that Ferrari ain’t gonna buy itself–we’ll leave you with this today…

By Wendell Barnhouse

This summer of our discontent – which likely foreshadows the summer of 2020 when we’re really pissed off – received an unscheduled and unexpected jolt of hope. Can we all agree we need to keep  hope alive?

Most of us had July 17 circled. That’s when Robert Mueller is scheduled for public hearings in Congress. That should rival any three-ring circus as Democrats will try to avoid sound-byte grandstanding and Republicans like Louie Gohmert and Jim Jordan will no doubt ask questions through frothing mouths.

But those who remember the “Saturday Night Massacre” in 1973 were offered another Saturday Night fever dream. As he stepped off a plane at Teterboro Airport in New Jersey, billionaire Jeffrey Epstein was arrested. It was not the end to a two-week Paris trip he expected. Epstein, a registered sex offender, was charged with sex trafficking of young women and girls.

This is a familiar feeling for Epstein, a hedge fund/financial planner who also might be a money launderer for all kinds of nefarious characters. In 2007, Epstein was given a sweetheart plea deal after being charged with statutory rape of numerous underage high school students. His 13-month work-release sentence allowed him to spend half of each day at his home. And never mind sex offenders are not legally allowed for such “freedom.”

Two of Epstein’s lawyers at the time were Alan Dershowitz and Kenneth Starr, a couple of high-dollar ambulance chasers. They’ve wallowed in the glory of legal and moral slop. Dershowitz helped acquit the most famous double murderer of the 20th century. Starr, the man who helped bring impeachment charges on President Bill Clinton, went on to become president at Baylor University. During his tenure the school was involved in a sickening series of sexual assault accusations, most levied against football players.

The federal prosecutor who signed off on Epstein’s deal was Alexander Acosta. The plea bargain was illegal. It violated the Crime Victims’ Rights Act because Epstein’s victims were not informed of the deal and never had a chance to testify in court. Poof. No trial, no discovery, no evidence. Everybody but the victims live happily – and more than comfortably – ever after.

Karma, as we know, is a bitch. Karma also is undefeated. The news of Epstein’s arrest probably caused some sleepless nights for some VIPs. Doctors on speed dial likely were asked for stronger Xanax scripts.

Julie K. Brown, the lead reporter for the Miami Herald’s three-part investigative series (aptly titled “Perversion of Justice”), cracked open and exposed the illegal deal Epstein received. She said Sunday there are other shoes (names) that could drop.

“So, there are probably quite a few important people, powerful people, who are sweating it out right now,” she said. “We’ll have to wait and see whether Epstein is going to name names.”

It is worth noting is that the Epstein case is being handled by the Public Corruption Unit of the Southern District of New York. That signals that the dragnet will be cast wide. Dum, da dum dum. (Also, last week a Trump Tweet ranted about New York Attorney General Letitia James being so unfair. Think he knew what was coming? … Yeah, he knew.)

Sex trafficking and human trafficking are scourges that have been overshadowed by many other important and troubling issues. The buying and selling of young women is a multi-billion dollar enterprise that involves the rich and the powerful, money laundering and Russian oligarchs (editor’s note: and the owner of the reigning Super Bowl champions).

Epstein’s “black book” allegedly has well-known names. In a related matter, last week 2,000 pages of previously sealed testimony was ordered unsealed. In the next few weeks, that testimony could be released. The 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals decision references allegations of sexual abuse involving “numerous prominent American politicians, powerful business executives, foreign presidents, a well-known Prime Minister, and other world leaders.”

The previously named Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, Les Wexner (77 years old and founder of Victoria’s Secret – that is not a joke) and Dershowitz were among those who allegedly participated in what was called Epstein’s “Lolita Express.” 

And, there’s (pussy grabber) President Donald Trump. Epstein’s Florida estate is just minutes from Mar-a-Lago, the “Southern White House.” Trump and Epstein have palled around for the last 30 years. “Terrific guy,” The Donald said of Epstein, in a 2002 article. “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It’s even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

You may now pause and take a shower.

This is a 30-minute video of a woman who claims when she was 13 that Trump had three sexual encounters with her, including a rape role play. She says Trump knew that she was 13. His daughter Ivanka was also 13. The woman says that Trump asked her to wear a blonde wig and commented about how much she looked like her daughter.

You should now pause and take another shower. If you take the time to watch the video, you might need disinfectant.

Before you start Googling my name and “conspiracy theories,” perhaps it’s fair to say all this is just more thick, black smoke but no fire. However, anyone who has been following Trump News since the day he descended his gold escalator in 2015 understands that he appears to be involved in a lot of illegal shit. Other than bankruptcies, during his adult life he’s cleverly skated away, no matter how thin the ice.

Epstein is 66. After he was arrested, the FBI raided his New York City townhouse. If there’s enough evidence to convict, he could spend the rest of his life in jail. If he doesn’t get a lenient placement at a nice Gray Bar Hotel, his reputation as a pedophile will make for some interesting nights. (Trump, of course, would face no criticism for pardoning a pedophile sex trafficker.)

If found guilty and given the opportunity to reduce his sentence, would Epstein flip and give up the goods on his high-rolling, sex-crazed acquaintances? If he comes clean, how many others get dirty? The juicy possibilities are endless. Will this Epstein case provide the smoking gun? Two interesting notes to consider. And trust me, there are dozens upon dozens of similar interesting notes.

• Bear Stearns employed Epstein in the 2000s. During the financial collapse of 2008, Bear Stearns went out of business. Epstein reportedly lost $57 million and allegedly provided testimony against the financial giant; that testimony might have helped him gain the sweet deal he received. Trump just happened to be a major client of Bear Stearns at a time when he was toxic to most reputable firms. Also, Epstein’s status as a “billionaire” has been questioned.
  
  
• Acosta, who broke the law with his plea deal for Epstein, is the current Secretary of Labor in the Trump Administration. His appointment to that post was curious unless one believes in quid pro quo. And unless one knows that the Labor Department oversees the nation’s human trafficking laws. And unless one knows that two weeks ago the Labor Department declared a moratorium on visas for victims of human trafficking. 

Watergate, as we know, went all the way to the top. We’re as beyond Watergate as Apollo 11 was beyond the Wright Brothers. There’s something about those tangled webs of deception. Once you pull on the correct thread, the untangling can begin.