Chernobyl By The Potomac

by Wendell Barnhouse

Less than a minute into the first episode of the HBO mini-series “Chernobyl,” these chilling words were uttered by the actor Jared Harris, playing Valery Legasov:

“What is the cost of lying? … The real danger is that if we hear enough lies, then we no longer recognize the truth at all. What can we do then? What else is left but to abandon even the hope of truth and content ourselves instead with stories.”

Legasov was a leading nuclear scientist who helped build the Soviet Union’s power-generating nuclear reactors. He also knew of the dangers and shoddy designs, the lack of oversight and inadequate preparation for emergencies.

When the Chernobyl disaster occurred in April of 1986, Soviet officials were more concerned about saving face than saving lives. The seriousness of the situation was glossed over with “nothing to see here, citizens, move along.” The State ignored the potential for a core melt down that would have become a Hiroshima/Nagasaki conflagration.

Legasov turned whistle-blower and recorded his version of the events. The cassette tapes were sent to the BBC and thus the Soviet Union’s initial mitigation of the disaster’s consequences were exposed. Miraculously and thankfully, the death toll was “only” in the thousands, not tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands or millions.

HBO’s presentation is, of course, a mini-series “based on actual events.” There are actors, a script, drama and conversations that “represent” what was actually said but are not verbatim. Still, were this a book, it would be non-fiction.

In last Monday night’s premiere, as the Soviet officials lied (even to themselves), the genesis of Legasov’s opening words became obvious. And ominous. What happened over 30 years ago to our top foreign adversary is what is currently happening in the United States.

Your Humble Scribe admits that he spends way too much time with the laptop on his lap and the Twitter function open. That means that YHS observes the daily blathering that goes on regarding our Tweet King. The “president,” the dishonorable Donald J. Trump, can claim in less than 240 characters that his first two years have been the most successful in presidential history while also bitching that the Mueller investigation has “stollen” two years from his four-year term.

With over 10,000 false statements – OK, lies – since his inauguration, Trump has sullied and stained this nation’s highest office. That should be expected from a con man who has cheated, bullied and concealed his entire adult life.

We should all expect politicians to not tell the truth. That’s what being a politician means. What we should demand is that politicians not lie.

There is a massive difference.

There can be debate and difference of opinions on policy. There should be no debate or difference of opinions on facts.

The Mueller Report was clear regarding Russian interference with and influence on the 2016 presidential election. William Barr, the Attorney General (lawyer for America, supposedly), lied and disputed that finding. Lying to Congress – to the elected representatives of the citizens – is no big deal with no consequences.

In the summer of 2016, the FBI and other intelligence agencies became aware of Russian meddling. President Obama met with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and sought a bi-partisan announcement about the threat. McConnell refused. Without McConnell’s support, Obama decided it would appear politically motivated if he made the announcement alone.

https://twitter.com/gregpmiller/status/1125776406577844224

On the Senate floor Tuesday, McConnell blamed Obama. “Maybe stronger leadership would have left the Kremlin less emboldened. Maybe tampering with our democracy wouldn’t have seemed so very tempting.”

While Robert Mueller followed “the rule of law” in declining to indict a sitting president (despite enough evidence to charge with obstruction), the Trump/GOP strategy is now to claim the entire investigation was a Deep State conspiracy. They claim that the FBI investigating Russian influence was actually “spying” on the Trump campaign.

“Well that’s not the term I would use,” FBI Director Christopher Wray said this week. “Lots of people have different colloquial phrases. I believe that the FBI is engaged in investigative activity and part of investigative activity includes surveillance.”

Lying now includes word-parsing. “Surveillance” to uncover criminal behavior is now “spying.” And never mind that to surveil an alleged guilty party also means surveilling the alleged innocent party.

Mueller following the “rule of law” appears quaint and naïve. Now that he has been “totally absolved,” every day the Tweet King edges closer and closer to dictatorship.

https://twitter.com/damianpaletta/status/1125517366920609792

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin broke the law regarding Trump’s tax returns. Barr lied to Congress. Trump is blocking lawful subpoenas to prevent key witnesses from testifying to House committees.

Short of Mueller dropping a bomb when/if he testifies or the House starting impeachment proceedings, there will be no stopping the stonewalling, the tap dancing and the lying.

Eric Levitz summed things up in a New York Magazine article last month. Here is a key section of that story:

“If there is no bipartisan consensus against allowing Republican presidents to flout the law, then what good is bipartisan consensus? Why should Democrats be compelled to forever and always give the GOP input on making laws when the two parties do not even share a commitment to the rule of law? … Congressional Democrats’ fatalism about impeachment — and their reverence for institutional norms and the ideal of bipartisanship — are irreconcilable.”

Is it worse to lie to the American people? Or lie to themselves?

Chernobyl helped lead to the downfall of the Soviet Union. Mr. Gorbachev tore down that wall. The Red Threat went away. No more domino theories about communism, no more bomb shelters or hiding under desks.

Nature, though, abhors a vacuum. As do former super power countries. The Communist Party was replaced by the Mob. The Godfather (Vladimi Putin) has declared a cyber war that we’re basically ignoring because no blood has been spilled. Putin’s puppet is the Tweet King, who laughs at the rule of law, wipes his ass with the Constitution and thrills his rallies with tales of infanticide and the sun rising in the West.

In the first episode of Chernobyl, Harris as Legasov closes his whistle blowing tape with the cynicism born of decades of watching his superiors lie in the face of obvious truth.

“They’ll deny it of course. They always do.”

Editor’s Note: As always, I’m truly grateful to Wendell for volunteering his talents and time. Also, a good book regarding his “nature abhors a vacuum” line and Russia’s false glasnost is Once Upon A Time In Russia by Ben Mezrich. Finally, we also watched the Chernobyl episode recap and while we concur that it was a good idea to lead with Legasov’s death, the Mad Men fan in us was jarred by the sight of Jared Harris hanging himself yet again.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

There’s no film we wouldn’t watch 24 hours straight if $1 million were waiting for us at the end of the movie marathon. You?

Starting Five

Lucas Moura!

If Tottenham were not dead at halftime of yesterday’s second leg of their Champions League semi at Ajax, then you would have needed a trained health-care professional to detect a pulse. Down 2-0 in the match and 3-0 in aggregate goals, Spurs needed nothing less than 3 unanswered second-half goals on a foreign—literally—pitch to advance to the final in Madrid.

Then, faster than you can say, “Come On You Spurs!” they got it. Off the leg of one man: their 26 year-old right wing Lucas Moura. The brazen Brazilian scored goals in the 55th and 59th minute to tie the match, but Hot Spurs still trailed in aggregate. Then, in stoppage time he squeezed through a brilliant strike, stunning two Ajax defenders and the keeper by not placing the ball but by striking it as it came rolling to him.

(Noted two-time NBA MVP and Spurs supporter Steve Nash had quite the visceral reaction to Moura’s third goal)

Let’s reflect a moment on the May Hem we’ve just witnessed from Champions League the past 48 hours. Barcelona, arguably the best team in the world, squandered a 3-0 aggregate lead after one match to fall 4-0 at Liverpool (and 4-3 aggregate_). Ajax forfeited a 3-0 aggregate advantage after 1 1/2 matches to fall, via Away Goals, 3-3, to Tottenham. The Champions League will have its first All-England final since 2008, and neither club may be this year’s Premier League champion (if Man City holds on this Sunday).

Brilliant!

Ladies And Gentleman, Your 2015 Golden State Warriors!

Four years ago, the Dubs won the first of three NBA championships in four seasons with a starting five of Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson, Harrison Barnes, Draymond Green and Andrew Bogut. Their top two reserves were Andre Iguodala (the MVP of that NBA Finals even though Sweet Pea truly deserved the award) and Shaun Livingston.

Guess what? After last night’s pyrrhic win at Oracle, in which the Dubs likely lost Super Duper Star Kevin Durant to a strained right calf for the remainder of this postseason, that 2015 championship squad (minus Barnes) is going to have to find their old magic. KD was averaging an otherworldly 35 ppg while shooting above the mythical 40/50/90 line this postseason. You don’t just replace that.

https://twitter.com/jdubs88/status/1126480273640697856?s=20

However, as you witnessed last night, Golden State’s core trio of Curry, Klay and Draymond can and must step up their games to take one of the final two from Houston. And yes, this somewhat mirrors last season’s CP3 injury in the fifth game, the difference being that KD is a far superior player. To anyone.

(No Kevin, but they still have Kevon)

Can Golden State advance? And if so, how do they stop Nikola Jokic with a faded Bogut?

(Kind of a big deal. Nobody, not even TNT, caught it.)

Last thing that needs to be said, and both us and Tim Legler said it last night : Golden State does not win Game 5 without the contributions of Kevon Looney, who could probably tell you all the different ways one is able to serve shrimp as an edible dish.

L.A. Guns*

*The judges note that any allusion to an ’80s hair-metal band in that hed is purely intentional

No, this is not the opening scene from the next Bruce Willis film. In Holmby Hills, the ultra-exclusive neighborhood within Beverly Hills, LAPD and the ATF seized an arsenal of weapons were seized yesterday. Reportedly they were not only being stored there, but also sold and shipped from and perhaps even assembled or manufactured.

The stories we read did not release the name of the person (s) whose property had more than 1,000 weapons, many of them assault-type rifles and Browning machine guns. Nor did the stories note that this is the same extremely wealthy area where you’ll find the Playboy Mansion, or that it’s just a very short bike ride east of the campus of UCLA.

Kind of odd that no suspect’s name has been released yet. Even if it’s not a celebrity, it’s someone with a lot of wealth. And a lot of power, perhaps. Firepower, definitely.

Fail Blazer

You planned on spending next week partying in Ibiza, but your private equity firm has a meeting to restructure (insert name of beloved American brand whose stock price is disappointing its board members, even though the quality of the product has not suffered, here), so you’ll have to do a pass-through in the board room and hence can only make it to Amagansett this weekend. Sucks to be you.

You board the Blade chopper at the 34th Street pier with a copy of Barron’s under your left arm and two bottles of Chateau Minuty in your carry-on (babe magnet). Forget anything?

Yes, my good sir, you have! Nothing says “Jay Gatsby” in the summer of 2019 quite like the Beach Blazer (only $325) from Marko Andrus. To Marko’s credit, he’s not a designer but just a swell (and a web developer) who realized he wanted something to don that dried you off like a towel but that you could wear for a post-beach glass of Aperol Spritz at 75 Main in Southampton. He’s already manufactured 10,000 of these bad boys and has a marketing deal with Dos Equis.

This is an article of clothing that Kramer would’ve eventually gotten around to designing if Seinfeld had remained on a a few seasons more. In fact, he sort of wore one around that entire Hamptons episode, no?

L’Orange

Above, that’s Frenchman Jean Jacques-Savin, 72, who built and skippered this giant orange barrel you see. On December 26, Boxing Day (hey, that’s British, not French), Savin set off from the Canary Islands. Traveling at roughly 2 miles per hour (or 1.7 knots per hour), Savin made it to the Dutch Caribbean island of St. Eustatius last week. That’s a 2,900-mile plus voyage.

Savin traveled solo and fed himself largely off fish he caught, though he did pack some foie gras (really). And a bottle of wine. Naturally.

Music 101

This Is The Time

Billy Joel turns 70 today.

Remote Patrol

Chernobyl

HBO Now/Go

“That’s not supposed to happen, is it?”

Bummed about the fact that one million species are near extinction, our government is more hopelessly corrupt than it has ever been, and Kevin Durant may miss the rest of the playoffs? Cheer up! It could be worse. Watch this 10-part series on HBO, the cable channel’s most apocalyptic show of the season not featuring Euron Greyjoy.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Starting Five


Up The Reds!

With the Premier League’s leading scorer (Mo Salah, above) out with injury and trailing 3-0 after the first leg, few gave Liverpool a chance against Barcelona yesterday afternoon at Anfield. The Reds would need at least a 3-0 shutout just to force the issue into extra time.

But we told you to watch yesterday (Did we not tell you to watch? We did!). And so what happened? The Reds took a 1-0 lead into the half, then scored two quick goals within three minutes early in the second half—both by Georginio Wijnaldum.

Finally, with the aggregate score still tied 3-3 in the 79th minute, Liverpool pulls out soccer’s equivalent of the hidden ball trick on a corner kick (above). Goooooaaaaaaaaal! Up the Reds!

https://twitter.com/brunozra/status/1125902442657386498?s=20

For the second year in a row—last year in the quarters, this year in the semis—Barca blows a 3-goal advantage after the first leg and is knocked out of the Champions League.

Yesterday marked Barcelona’s first defeat in the entire tournament. What a bad time for Messi & Co. to not answer the bell.

Reds fans know: You’ll Never Walk Alone.

Down The Reds!

In Oakland, A’s pitcher Mike Fiers forgot about his 6.81 ERA this spring and tossed—wait for it—a complete game versus the Cincinnati Reds. Okay, yes, if you want to be technical about it all, it was also a no-hitter.

Fiers is now tied for the MLB lead in no-hitters, complete games and shutouts this season with….1.

Fiers, a 34 year-old journeyman hurler with a career 57-58 record in nine seasons, has now tossed two no-hitters. Pret-tee, pret-tee good. The previous one came in 2015.

Fires threw 131 pitches last night, which is the most pitches tossed in a no-hitter since he threw 134 in his 2015 no-no. He also needed two incredible fielding plays in the sixth inning (above) and had to overcome a 98-minute delay due to a lighting issue. Yeah, we spelled that correctly. Lighting delay, not lightning delay.

Blues!

It was a total splash of color on both sides of the Atlantic in sportsball yesterday. In St. Louis, the Dallas Stars and Blues played the 3rd seventh game-overtime tilt of this Stanley Cup postseason. The Blues emerged victorious 2-1 in the second OT after St. Louis native Pat Maroon scored on a rebound off a face-off versus Stars goalie (and fellow St. Louis native) Ben Bishop, who is 6’7″ by the way.

Bishop faced 54 shots in the contest and only allowed two past him. A heroic effort in a losing cause.

In The Red

He really can walk on water

Not that any of his acolytes will care (or accept the truth), but The New York Times dunked on Donald Trump once more yesterday. Using ” printouts from Mr. Trump’s official Internal Revenue Service tax transcripts, with the figures from his federal tax form, the 1040, for the years 1985 to 1994,” the NYT was able to uncover that the president, a man who famously will not allow the public to see his tax returns (the first president in modern history to be so, I dunno, obstructional about these figures), lost more that ONE BILLION DOLLARS through poor business management in that decade.

The story was released on the same date that Secretary of the Treasury and fellow Trophy Wife Aficionado Steve Mnuchin refused to comply with a House Ways and Means Committee request to view Mr. Trump’s tax returns, something that it is legally authorized to do. Now you see why.

Ernie’s Kids

I hope we all realize how lucky we are to have Inside The NBA shepherding us through two full decades of NBA playoff springs. Last night during halftime of the Blazers-Nuggets game we got a time-capsule worthy edition of the program:

–Charles Barkley visibly annoyed that they had to interrupt his viewing of Game 7 Stars-Blues hockey in overtime on another network. The announcers on the hockey game even got wind of this and made mention of it during their broadcast.

–Shaq referring to Nikola Jokic of Denver as a “mini-great player” because he’s only shown his greatness for one season (he’s a second-year player), which prompted Chuck to chide him about living in the present. “It’s the present, that’s why they call it a gift,” said Chuck, getting the aphorism backwards, which caused studio host Ernie Johnson to put a palm over his face.

–Kenny the Jet, not wanting to be left out, noted that Denver’s Jamal Murray had some wonderful moves around the basket and allowed that he had no idea Murray had such maneuvers in his “repertoire of bags,” which caused Ernie to swivel his chair 90 degrees away from The Jet.

Vintage stuff.

Remote Patrol

Champions League

Tottenham at Ajax

3 p.m. TNT

It’s up to you, Harry Kane

An All-England Champions League final is still on the table. To get there, Spurs must overcome a 1-0 aggregate score heading into the second leg versus the Dutch dynamo. A 1-0 win buys extra time and any other win gets them to Madrid versus Liverpool.

Game 5: Rockets at Warriors

10:30 p.m. TNT

What a sports day for TNT, which is also sandwiching Celtics-Bucks between these two contest. By the way, Chuck declared that the Bucks are going to win the NBA Finals in June. Is America ready for a Nuggets-Bucks NBA Finals? Honestly, I kinda am.


IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

https://twitter.com/den_nuhmus/status/1125228045516910595?s=20

and….

Starting Five

The James Gang may take Golden State to a 7th game for the second consecutive year

Harden Home

There’s only one team of the eight remaining in the NBA playoffs that has yet to lose at home this postseason: the Houston Rockets. Last night the Missiles couldn’t miss, as James Harden put on a vintage performance that included 38 points and six threes.

Houston has won 12 in a row at the Toyota Center and 17 of 18 overall and I don’t know why they don’t have that otherwise ubiquitous brunette Toyota pitch woman doing in-game interviews.

Of course, they’re still going to need to defeat Golden State at Oracle at least once if they hope to advance. Clip ‘n save: If Houston forces a Game 7 this weekend, it could be the Dubs’ FINAL game at Oracle as they’ll move across the Bay to the Chase Center come autumn.

In Good Kompany

What were you thinking, Leicester City?!? Vincent Kompany may be an aging (33) Belgian legend, but he’s still a legend. The Manchester City captain was left unguarded from about 27 yards out with the match still scoreless yesterday in the 70th minute. He then delivered a strike that, as announcer Ian Darke aptly put it, was “postage stamp.”

Man City wins 1-0 and takes the Premier League over Liverpool, 95 points to 94, with one match remaining for each side. The Reds, despite losing only one match all season, must win and hope Man City loses or draws this Sunday in order to avoid finishing in second place.

Hero Takes A Fall

As he does in this photo, Riley Howell stood out in real life. And in the final moments of his life. After his funeral on Sunday, his father, a nurse, revealed how the UNC-Charlotte student had been shot three times while tackling the gunman who had invaded their classroom last week. Mr. Howell spoke of how he had personally viewed the body and, being somewhat of an expert on such matters, noted that two bullets must have hit Howell in the torso and body first, and that the final one had struck him in the jaw at such close range that it left a muzzle burn.

Howell and his girlfriend of more than 3 years, Lauren Westmoreland

The shooter, who did not attempt another shot after being body-slammed by Howell, would complain to police that he thought he had internal injuries. Read The New York Times story on Howell. It almost feels as if he was chosen to be at that spot at that moment: to save lives.

Fifth Avenue Camp

The Met Gala, Vogue editor Anna Wintour’s annual shakedown of the fashion industry in order to benefit the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute, was held on a cool, Parisian sky-like night in Manhattan last evening. The theme was “Notes from Camp.” And there’s Janelle Monae once and for all answering the question, “What exactly do you wear on a snipe hunt?”

Lady Gaga’s outfit would not fit in the apartments of most NYC residents her age

The first rule of attending the Met Gala: You ABSOLUTELY must evacuate all bowels and kidneys before donning your evening attire. Because you won’t be doing so for the next six or so hours.

GEMs

This happened to us recently: riding our bike in one of Manhattan’s fabulous designated bike lanes. Suddenly a millennial on a skateboard, a white dude probably in his early 20s, slowly drifts right into our lane, approaching head on. You know the reason this is happening: his face is glued to his smart phone.

So we slow down and say nothing until he is right upon our front tire. He stops abruptly, looks up at us, and you know what he says? Pointing at our bicycle, he says, “Those things do turn, you know.”

BAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAAA!

We actually want to thank him. Why? First, because he inspired in us a new acronym to describe him and his ilk: GEM, which we imagine you’ll guess on your own (we’ll reveal in a moment or two below). Second, because he taught us how to deal with all such future encounters: we will simply continue at our current speed and as we get breathtakingly close to an oblivious-to-his-surroundings smartphone addict, simply unleash the most blood-curdling death scream possible. We’re actually looking forward to it.

GEM: Godawful Entitled Millennial.

Eighty-Six Happiness Update

Yesterday, for the first time in my illustrious serving career, I worked at two restaurants in the same day. Did a lunch shift at a place where I’m the newbie, then a dinner shift at my old stomping grounds where I was actually training two waiters simultaneously. I go through pens a lot faster as a waiter than I ever did as a writer.

Music 101

Song On The Radio

You gotta love the cojones on a guy who writes a song with this title thinking, knowing, that it will end up on the radio. Al Stewart received steady airplay, especially on the Adult Contemporary stations, for a string of hits in the late Seventies. This one hit No. 29 on the charts.

Stewart, a Scotsman (his name actually translates into the Scots dialect as “Easy Listening”), played the first-ever Glastonbury Festival in 1970 and actually knew Yoko Ono before John Lennon did. Of course we got that off Wikipedia. Leave us alone.

Remote Patrol

Champions League Semis: Barcelona at Liverpool

3 p.m. TNT

Could Barca, which won 3-0 just six days ago at Camp Nou, possibly be denied a spot in the final later this month? Well, yes. It was only a year ago in the semifinals when Barcelona beat Roma 3-0 in the first leg on the road only to, somehow and quite shockingly, lose 4-1 at home to Roma in the second leg. Roma advanced on Away Goals (since both squads had the same amount of aggregate goals, 4-4, the first tiebreaker).

Sure, it’s highly unlikely that Liverpool, which would need to win 3-0 to force extra time or 4-0 (or 5-1) to win outright, will survive this day. But that’s why it’s worth tuning in, no?

That and the fact that Lionel Messi remains a god walking among mortals.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five

Stay In Your Lane, Bro*

*The judges will not accept “Won’t Get Foaled Again”

On Saturday night the Kentucky Derby rebranded itself as the “most exciting 24 minutes in sports.” First came the 2-minute race in the slop of a downpour. Then, for the first time in 145 editions of the Run for the Roses, the stewards overturned the decision after two jockeys complained that the winner, Maximum Security, had veered out of its lane on the final turn and cut them off.


Just because something has never happened before does not mean that it can’t happen. Or that it should not. The stewards seemed to agree that Maximum Security’s jockey, Luis Saez, had allowed MaxSec to veer three lanes outside of where it should have. What would have been a disastrous chain-reaction of falling horsies was narrowly averted.

On the other hand, just how egregious was this interference as compared to all the other Derbies in which 18 or more horses have entered? Our guess is that you can probably find a similar blocking out of a contender in at least every other Derby that’s been held the past 25 years. So has VAR invaded Churchill Downs, too? Apparently, yes.

So, yes, the ruling meant that 65-1 long shot Country House was declared the winner and also, for the first time in the race’s history, which spans three centuries, the horse that crossed the finish line first did not win. Rubbin’-is-racing may be true when we’re talking 100s of horsepower, but when your ride has just one horsepower, it is not.

And of course Donald Trump is not happy about this outcome. After all, Maximum Security is his 2020 campaign slogan. Maybe he’ll just invite MaxSec to the White House next week.

Re-enter Sandman

Twenty-three years and $4 billion in boffo box office sales later, Adam Sandler returned to the best job from which he was ever terminated: Saturday Night Live. The Sandman hosted SNL this weekend and it is clear that he is something of a legend/hero to the current cast. Who cares if Lorne gives you the thumb down if you can go on to be even wealthier than he? Ballsy cameo by the second person to join the Sandman on the stage for “I Was Fired.” But if experience has taught SNL comics anything (cough, Larry David, cough, Chris Rock, cough, Sandler, etc.), it should be that recklessness is a masterful career move.

Russian Flight Disaster

In Moscow, a Russian Aeroflot passenger plane caught fire while making a bumpy landing at Sheremetyevo Airport. More than half its passengers died.

The flight originated in Moscow and was bound for the northern Russian city of Murmansk with 73 passengers and five crew aboard. Shortly after takeoff it was reportedly struck by lightning and returned to Moscow where it made a bumpy landing and caught fire. Forty-one of the 78 onboard perished.

All 143 human passengers survived this flight, though a few beloved pets perished

It was a weird and tragic weekend in aviation. Besides this disaster, not one but two planes found themselves ditching in the drink of the St. John’s River in Jacksonville. No people died, somewhat miraculously, in the unrelated incidents, but at least four pets, trapped in the cargo hold, did. Sucks.

On the flight pictured above, bad weather was blamed for a rocky landing. The flight was carrying U.S. military personnel from Cuba.

Don’t Want No Scrubs

Above, that’s Jessica Anderson, a nurse who ran the London Marathon in scrubs a week ago and crossed the finish line in 3:08:22. As the Guinness Book of World Records actually has a standard for fastest time running a marathon in a nurse’s uniform, and as that record, set in 2015, was 3:08:54, Anderson assumed she’d etched her name in the legendary almanac of human superlatives.

Not so fast, my friend. Guinness, for the moment, is not recognizing Anderson’s feets’ feat because they say it has to be “a white or blue dress, pinafore apron and white cap” to qualify as a nurse’s uniform. In other words, what you see on the cover of Blink-182’s Enema Of The State album.

Acceptable nurse’s uniform. Say it ain’t so/I will not go…

Wait until race fan Donald Trump hears about this…

Anyway, Guinness will probably fold under the pressure of all the woke folks. Meanwhile, no one is even sure if the existing record holder, Sarah Dudgeon, is even employed as a nurse. Does that even matter to Guinness?

5. Cersei Don’t F**k Around

We know President Trump does not watch Game Of Thrones because Rupert Murdoch does not own HBO, but we imagine that if he did his favorite character would be Cersei Lannister (SPOILERS COMING). Dig, while Winterfell was celebrating its four-overtime victory over the Night King or Night Ranger (both from north of the border so let’s not quibble here), Cersei was manipulating yet another horny man into helping her cause.

We’re eight seasons in and Cersei remains alive while possessing only two worthwhile attributes: 1) beauty and 2) heartlessness. She warned Eddard Stark in Season 1: “If you play the game of thrones, you either win or you die.” She knows that. She is, if nothing else, a survivor.

Late in the episode Tyrion appeals to his sister over her sense of motherhood, to the three children she has lost (poisoning, poisoning, leap from a balcony) and to the one in her belly. Tyrion goes all Jeff Flake on Cersei and her response, without even batting an eye, is to chop off Missandei’s melon in front of her lover and her queen. Power move.

Even Winterfell has a Starbucks

The show’s creators, Benioff & Weiss, have set up a wonderful and intriguing last half of the final season of their epic series. Beyond just Westeros versus Cersei, we have “THE SECRET” getting out (Sansa, it is implied, told Tyrion who has told Varys) plus we have Sansa, whose face the cameras love even more than panoramic dragons-flying shots, feeling the way most of us do: Dany has done a lot of good, but she’s coaching a little too much like Norman Dale at Hickory High. And she’s down to one dragon.

Yeah, we all thought the Night King and the Wights were the greatest threat to humanity. We forgot about how ruthless Cersei can be. This is the woman who overcame the Sparrows (Her “Shame! Shame!” walk was Trump’s 2012 White House Correspondents Dinner) and lit up half of King’s Landing just to reclaim her throne.

The feeling here is that, and just watch the revised opening credits this season for your clue, the final scene will take place in the proximity of the Iron Throne. We also like the odds of Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer, adding Queenslayer to his list of noms de guerre. But we also think he’ll lose his own life in the process. He is, after all, as he said, “Hateful.”

Redeemed, but still hateful. His sister? Irredeemable. As she demonstrated yet again last night.

Music 101

Planet Earth

Fair to say that the best description for Duran Duran‘s early look was “Cocaine Pirate?” This was the synth-pop-New Wave sensation’s first hit in the U.K., debuting in the spring of 1981. The band wouldn’t really crash on these shores for another year with “Hungry Like The Wolf,” but this early Duran squared is the band at its purest.

Remote Patrol

Premier League: Leicester City at Manchester City

3 p.m. NBC Sports Net

Liverpool fans will become Jamie Vardy fans this afternoon

So this is fun. On Wednesday Liverpool got their hats handed to them at Barcelona in a Champions League semi, then turned around and needed an 86th-minute goal on Saturday at Newcastle to remain within striking distance of Manchester City to win the Premier League. Liverpool has just one loss in 37 matches and 94 total points. Manchester City, the defending champs, have more losses but also fewer draws. After 36 matches MC has 92 points (3 points for a win, 1 for a draw).

With a victory today versus Jamie Vardy and the 2016 Premier League champs, Leicester City, Manchester City would retake the league with one more match remaining for both clubs. With a draw, Liverpool would hold a 1-point lead with one match left for both.

Add to this that Liverpool must host Barcelona on Tuesday for the second leg of its Champions League semi (in which it must either beat Messi & Co. by 4 goals or more or at least 3-0 to force extra time). Even though Liverpool is not playing today, this game is the beginning of an auspicious week for Reds fans, one that may either be crushing or exultant. While Man City has won three Premier League championships this decade, Liverpool has not finished atop the League since 1990.