The Tampa Bay Lightning finished the regular season with the best record in the National Hockey League. In fact, the Lightning became only the second franchise in NHL history (the 1995-96 Detroit Red Wings being the other) to win 62 games.
We don’t have any words and we know you don’t want to hear them.
We understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness. Everything you’re feeling – we get it.
This isn’t the ending we imagined, and certainly not the one we wanted. Thank you for being there the entire way.
Three games later, the Lightning were done. Swept by the Columbus Blue Jackets. If hockey were bigger, fans would properly recognize this as one of the most ignominious upsets in pro sports history. As it is, the Lightning are our favorites to win March Madness next year.
One day after the conflagration sur le Seine, the Cathedral Notre Dame de Paris remains largely intact. Its famed rose windows are undamaged, as is the crucifix. And most importantly, every Catholic priest on the six continents that have parish congregations has his Easter Sunday homily already written. Call it an act of God.
Fire Sale
The Yankees shelled Boston Red Sox co-ace Chris Sale for seven runs in an 8-0 victory in the Bronx last night. It’s only April 17 and Sale has already equaled his loss total from last season: 4. In 2018 the veteran southpaw went 12-4 in 27 starts with a 2.11 ERA. This spring he’s 0-4 in four starts with an 8.50 ERA. Last season Sale’s K’s: BBs ratio was about 7:1. This spring? 2:1.
“I just flat-out stink,” the 6’6″ lefty said after the loss. Can’t argue with that. So do the Sawx thus far. The world champs occupy the A.L. East cellar at 6-12.
Casting A Paul
In Catholicism, Paul was one of the all-time greats (and quite a prolific correspondent). As you may know, Paul was first a Roman centurion who enjoyed persecuting early Christians, then was struck blind “on the road to Damascus” after having a vision of Christ. He then dedicated the remainder of his life to spreading the Good News and is really, in our humble opinion, the most important figure in the New Testament outside of Jesus. And His mom.
The apostle Paul, who greatly appreciated stamps as a Christmas gift
So maybe there’s hope for Notre Dame’s newest visiting professor, former Senator Paul Ryan. But we don’t hold out much hope. Kudos to Drew Lischke, who laid out the argument against Ryan upholding “Catholic principles” in the student newspaper, The Observer.
There are probably more than a few members of Notre Dame’s faculty who may not pass muster when it comes to upholding the Catholic principles the school purports to represent. There are none, however, who have held such a lofty position of leadership and failed so remarkably. This, for the university, is embarrassing. I’d rather learn that Lennay Kekua had been invited to join the faculty.
God does have a sense of humor, though: the three most visible leadership figures in South Bend right now (outside of sports) are named Paul, Peter and John.
Lessons from Vala Afshar
One of our favorite Twitter follows is Vala Afshar, who is the “Chief Digital Evangelist” at Salesforce.com, whatever that means. He’s a philosopher-entrepeneur, and we generally enjoy the life lessons he imparts. Here are some tweets from yesterday to digest:
As I got older, I realized:
7 do not take your health for granted
8 be a better friend and value relationships
9 if you are waiting for a title to lead, you are not ready to lead
10 a sponsor is more important than a mentor
11 a good story is soulful with sprinkling of data
If you find yourself in Hartford’s Bushnell Park, you may happen upon a stature of a 19th-century figure, under which are the words, “Horace Wells, Dentist.” If you are curious why someone would erect a statue to a dentist, read this fascinating book by Fenster. No man in modern history may be responsible for relieving more pain than Wells, though he never profited from it and instead went into a downward spiral because of it. This should be a movie.
Remote Patrol
Tottenham Hotspur at Manchester City
3 p.m. TNT
UEFA Champions League quarters. Spurs lead 1-0 on aggregate. These two are in third and second place, respectively, in the Premier League at the moment and will actually play again three days from now in the same venue for that league. Weird.
When the bald eunuch spoke those words Sunday night, they resonated. But that wisdom was punctuated Monday afternoon in France as much of the Cathedral Notre-Dame de Paris was razed by what appears to have been an accidental fire that started during renovation work.
The spire was lost and much of the roof from the building that is more than 700 years old. But the main structure survived. And that which was lost will be rebuilt.
Image of #NotreDame's interior now. Not lost. I have chills…notice the cross. How can't you?
— Kacie McDonnell Hosmer (@KacieMcDonnell) April 15, 2019
Time has its arsenal: wind, fire and water. But man is ordinarily the greatest threat to all things on this planet, both man-made (the Sphinx lost its nose to bullets; the Acropolis was largely destroyed because it was being used as a munitions depot and suffered a direct hit by shelling; Yankee Stadium fell victim to the Steinbrenners’ avarice) and natural.
It was an awful day for Notre Dames on either side of the Atlantic, as your author’s alma mater announced that former Senator Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) would be coming to campus as a visiting professor. Will “Craven Political Maneuvers” be a 400-level course, one wonders.
Warriors, Worriers
You went to bed. Admit it. If you did, you missed the Western Conference playoffs morphing into Pac-12 After Dark. The defending NBA champions, the Golden State Warriors, puked up a 31-point 3rd-quarter lead and lost to the Lou’s Angeles Clippers, 135-131.
After squandering a 94-63 lead with more than seven minutes remaining in the third quarter, the Dubs went up 131-128 on a vintage Steph Curry three. But then Lou Williams hit a fallaway 2 in the lane, the final bucket of his 36-point night, and then a pair of rookies (Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Landry Shamet) paired up for the dagger three.
It’s the largest playoff deficit ever overcome in NBA playoff history. Evuh. A lot of people had a 30-something from an L.A. franchise giving the Dubs fits in the first round; they just did not have it being Lou Williams.
Shamet and the shot that changed the series
Of course the Dubs have the talent to overcome this hiccup. They have the talent to make a fifth straight trip to the NBA Finals and win their fourth trophy in the past half-decade. But do they have enough happy joo-joo in the locker room to do so?
That’s what my former SI colleague Jon Wertheim (I’m old enough to remember when we called him L. Jon Wertheim, a young law school alum whose dad had been our SI managing editor’s college prof and who wanted to pursue a career in sportswriting over one at a white-shoe firm; turned out to be the right move for him) sought to find out this Sunday on 60 Minutes. You should watch and decide for yourself.
TCM Turns 25
Claude Rains, the unsung hero of this film
On Sunday Turner Classic Movies (TCM), God’s gift to cable television, turned 25. Three reasons we love TCM: 1) no commercials 2) it has the largest catalogue of classic American films available for viewing anywhere, for a small fee along with your cable subscription, 3) hosts Ben Mankiewicz and Eddie Muller.
Some day film historians will look back on this current decade of American cinema, with fans’ preoccupation with comic book heroes and heroines, and properly connect it with a social disease (not sexually transmitted). There’s an illness among us that we constantly flock to films in which mankind must be saved by a being with supernatural powers (like, you know, God-like?). You’re welcome to enjoy Iron Man or whatever. It’s when you go see a dozen consecutive clones of that film that I begin to worry about you.
Anyway, your antidote is TCM. There is simply no greater gift that the United States has given to culture than film, and here are most of the greatest films ever put in reels. That said, not every one will meet your fancy. The other night we, for the first time, watched Gone With The Wind in its entirety and it made us so sad…to think we’ll never get those four hours back.
But we needed to do it, to complete our mission of having watched the top 10 films in the American Film Institute’s“Top 100 Films” list. Having done so, and having now viewed more than 70 of those 100 films (most of the missing were released before 1934), we’re going to enumerate our highly—HIGHLY—subjective list of the TEN American films every one should watch before they expire. The films that make this list have a few things in common: outstanding story, nary a wasted scene, characters you care about, and most often a mix of both drama and humor (you know, the way real life is).
We narrowed the list to 10, and that’s not easy. Surely there are other films that you can sub in. But we do like these 10:
Casabalanca (1942): For our money, the best film, period. And for those who fear that watching old movies is like eating vegetables, this is hella entertaining. And witty. You’ll miss at least half the jokes your first time through. By the way, note the numerous similarities between Rick Blaine (Bogart) and Rhett Butler (Gable): they state that their only cause is themselves, they take up for lost causes, and they ultimately let the girl get away.
The Best Years Of Our Lives (1946): The best war movie absent a combat scene. No better movie about the best in us as Americans in our daily lives. Released the same year as It’s A Wonderful Life, a film in a similar but hokier vein. This is the movie that won seven Oscars, including Best Picture, that year, and deservedly so.
The Godfather I & II (1972, 1974): We’re cheating a little here, but if Gone With The Wind can run four hours… This is the quintessential American Dream lived out across two generations, and a reminder that “get rich or die tryin'” predates 50-Cent.
The Shawshank Redemption (1994): Was greatly overshadowed the year it was released by two other films you know of, but again, not a wasted scene and a fabulous payoff. Funny, heartbreaking, inspirational. Our favorite final scene in a film with the possible exception of No. 2 on this list.
The Bridge On The River Kwai (1956): You need an epic on this list, and with that a David Lean film. The reason I put this one here ahead of Lawrence Of Arabia is because while the scenery in the latter is magnificent, the story drags some toward the end. The Bridge never wavers, building the suspense until the final moment. Although, yeah, I don’t know why they didn’t simply blow the bridge the night before.
The Sound Of Music (1965): You need a musical, just one, and if you want to sub in Singin’ In The Rain here, go right ahead. Julie Andrews is the queen of this genre and there’s no better filmed musical scene than “Do-Re-Mi.”
Rear Window (1954): You need a Hitchcock film and again, you’re welcome to sub in Vertigo, Psycho, To Catch A Thief, Dial M For Murder, even Strangers On A Train. But this is our favorite.
The Wizard of Oz (1939): Providing the essential message that has been true since Homer’s Odyssey and The Ten Commandments: there’s no place like home.
Rocky (1976): Before it was a franchise, Rocky was simply the most inspirational film for the down-and-outers ever released. For those of us who saw it in the theaters, who were not bogged down by the circus of Clubber Lang and Ivan Drago and “Livin’ In America” and “Eye of the Tiger,” this experience was the most uplifting ever provided in a theater. And that score? “Mom, did Rocky win the fight?!?” Does it matter?
The Searchers (1956): John Ford and John Wayne in what we feel is the one Western not to be missed (and Star Wars is a Western, by the way; even Siskel & Ebert agree about that). Yeah, we wanted to put in a real Jimmy Stewart film (Mr. Smith) and we debated adding Pulp Fiction to this list, but we wanted a Western.
And because we’re not done, here are a few films that failed to make AFI’s Top 100 that would have certainly made ours: The Thin Man, Broadcast News, A Few Good Men, An Affair To Remember, Blazing Saddles, Braveheart, Good Will Hunting, The Exorcist, Frankenstein, Giant, Almost Famous, Judgement at Nuremberg, Local Hero, Animal House, The Big Short, Night of the Hunter, Planet of the Apes, Risky Business, The Breakfast Club, When Harry Met Sally, To Be Or Not To Be and M.
JMIA Is Not MIA
We’re old enough to remember when “Ali Baba is the Amazon of Asia” was a thing, so we’re a little skeptical about Jumia Technologies (ticker symbol: JMIA) being the “Amazon of Africa” (we wonder what the “Amazon of South America” will be; don’t answer that). But you should know that the company, based in Lagos, Nigeria, issued its IPO on Friday at between $12 and $16 per share.
As of this moment, JMIA is trading at $38 per share and is up 19% just today. We’re not in it and that price looks a little frothy for us at the moment. But keep your eye on it.
For Pete’s Sake
You may recall we were all aboard the President Pete Express more than a month ago, and we thought he’d be at least more than a long shot by June. Turns out he’s scaring the hell out of the Bernie bros and he’s all but persuaded those grasp-exceeds-their-reach senators (Gillebrand, Booker, perhaps even Harris and Warren) to just return to the Beltway.
Buttigieg: "The Republicans in the Senate changed the number of justices on the Supreme Court. They changed it to eight. Until they took power, and then they changed it back to nine." pic.twitter.com/EgVXnFshYA
Some years there are champions by default (the 2011 Dallas Mavericks come to mind) and others there are legitimate types (your 1996 Chicago Bulls) whose real is undeniable. Mayor Pete, who declared Sunday, has been the darling of every studio show that’s been able to land him (Real Time, Ellen, Maddow, etc.) but there’s no denying that there’s something there there. And being able to speak Norwegian on the fly is just one of those great drop-in anecdotes halfway down your profile.
Last night just before sleepy time I checked the Twitter Machine and the above two tweets ran back-to-back. For me, this should be a campaign poster. Who, as Americans, do we wish to be?
By the way, before you go too far down the Prez Pete wormhole, we urge you to watch Mr. Smith Goes To Washington (again, if not for the first time). Or read Jake Tapper’s The Hellfire Club. Washington has a way of putting earnest types through the meat grinder and turning them into table scraps. They’ll do their best to find the warts on Mayor Pete. But chances are that none of those pursuing this dirt-digging volunteered for military service and are Rhodes Scholars, much less an “or” in that phrase.
Reserves
The African dude on the left beat the African dude on the right…
The finish of the men’s Boston Marathon race yesterday. We realize 99.9999% of you have no personal connection to either athlete, but still…
Breaking: Less is still more. Thanks for reminding us (by the way, look at the top of yesterday’s MH. Some folks think alike; one just gets paid a lot more for doing so).
Music 101
Never Gonna Give You Up
The last few years of the Eighties and first couple of the Nineties were the darkest days of pop music (before now; we watched BTS on SNL). You had Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice, Right Said Fred and yes, this guy, Rick Astley. This song went to No. 1 in the USA, UK, and a dozen other nations. Props to Iceland, which refused to let it go higher than No. 5.
Remote Patrol
Manchester United at Barcelona
3 p.m. TNT
The second leg in this UEFA Champions League quarterfinal. Barca leads 1-0 on aggregate. Yes, they only played six days ago. Kind of a fast turnaround. You’ll get Messi in this one. We’re a little surprised they’re not airing Ajax-Juventus instead, what with a 1-1 aggregate and Ronaldo in that one. Stay tuned for the halftime and post-match highlights.
For a decade the question loomed: Would Tiger Woods ever overcome his injuries, his scandals, himself, and claim another major? On Sunday at the greatest venue in golf, Augusta National, 43 majors since the last of his 14 previous major championships, Tiger finally answered that question in the affirmative?
It was not an historic comeback in terms of Sunday’s final round. Tiger remained close, watched as the other leaders made fatal errors, and then cemented the win with an amazing tee shot on the par-3 16th (with Michael Phelps, one of the two or three athletes of his generation who stands on the same plateau, just a few yards behind him in the gallery) his victory. No, it was an historic comeback over the arc of a career, a story line more than a decade in the making.
It’s fine if you don’t forgive Tiger his past transgressions. Fine if you think o him more as a prodigal sonofabitch than a prodigal son.
Everyone calibrates par at their own measure when it comes to what sins are beyond the pale. For us, Tiger is a flawed man but far from an evil one. And to live through all the doubts, both from within and from without, for years on end, and yet to still strive to return to the summit on which he had once stood so firmly, for us, that is admirable. And beyond memorable.
Easily the most inspiring moment at Augusta since Jack Nicklaus became the oldest man to win the Masters in 1986 at age 46. Today, Tiger is the second-oldest champion there, and he just won his fifth to Jack’s six, at age 43. That figure of 18 majors held by the Golden Bear no longer looks so insurmountable.
But if Tiger never wins another major, that’s okay. He proved something to himself, to his children, to every sports fan today. And he reminded us all of an essential lesson: Never, ever give up.
Reunion At Winterfell
“You’ve ruined horses for me”
We won’t put in any Game Of Thrones spoilers here, but simply a belated request. Wouldn’t the Season 8 premiere have been improved if during certain scenes Benioff & Weiss (the brains behind the show) had included a graphic reminding the audience the last time those two (or more) characters had been in a scene together?
Some of the reunion moments—especially the final one—were profound, but we found ourselves, especially after more than 18 months without a fresh episode, trying to remember when certain characters had last met.
A minor script quibble: at different points of the episode one character is described as “the cleverest person I’ve ever met,” another as “the smartest person I’ve ever known,” and a third as “the most arrogant man I’ve ever met.” Three different characters describing three other different characters. Hodor! on the superlatives, please.
Florida Bird
In Alachua County, Florida, a 75 year-old man was fatally attacked by a cassowary, a large flightless bird that looks like Stephen Moore’s hairpiece attached to two legs and a short blue neck. The man had two such birds, which are native to Australia and New Guinea, on his property. Some men, particularly in Florida, want to take the claw into their own glands.
Is The Grand Canyon Getting More Dangerous Or Are Tourists Getting More Careless?
Two more people fell to their deaths at the Grand Canyon last week, bringing the number of gravity-related deaths at America’s favorite pit this year to at least four. More than five dozen tourists have fallen to their demise at the northern Arizona erosion theme park since it first opened.
Officials have not considered filling in the canyon with dirt—yet.
Wings Across America B
On Saturday morning in the Mojave Desert, a plane with the largest wingspan ever constructed—385 yards feet—took flight for the first time. From the company Stratolaunch, the plane is designed to carry rockets into the stratosphere, from whence they will be launched.
TAKEOFF: Giant six-engine aircraft with the world's longest wingspan flies for the first time, completing its initial flight over California's Mojave Desert. https://t.co/bvkD87nskzpic.twitter.com/D7NUwBIBHJ
The aircraft, which when fully loaded will weigh more than a million pounds (it’s too early in the day for us to figure out the tonnage, but we’ll guess 500?), had a 2 1/2 hour test flight and ascended to half of its future desired altitude of 35,000 feet. It will not be available for short hops betwixt L.A. and Las Vegas, in case you were wondering.
Music 101
Make It Easy On Yourself
Outside of Lennon & McCartney and Brian Wilson & the demons inside his head, the greatest songwriting team of the 1960s was Burt Bacharach and Hal David. They originally wrote this tune for an unknown Dionne Warwick, then reneged and handed it to Jerry Butler, who took it to No. 20 in 1962.
Three years later, in 1965, a Los Angeles trio named The Walker Brothers (none of whom were born with the surname Walker and none of whom were siblings) recorded it and took it even higher, to No. 16. The trio is proof that osmosis is a universal phenomenon, as at the height of the British Invasion they uprooted themselves from L.A. and moved to London, where they were much more of a smash in the U.K.
Remote Patrol
Nets at Sixers
8 p.m. TNT
Clippers at Warriors
10:30 p.m. TNT
As our organist at church reminds us before mass every Sunday, please put away your cellphones.
What’s better than this? Nothing is better than this…
Starting Five
The Thrill of Phil
Two months shy of his 49th birthday, Phil Mickelson shot an opening round 67 to find himself just one shot back of co-leaders and twenty somethings Bryson DeChambeau and Brooks Koepka.
They’re millennials. He’s a perennial.
We’re totally getting ahead of ourselves, but Lefty is gunning for his fourth Masters and also looking to surpass Jack Nicklaus’ mark as the oldest Masters champion. The Golden Bear took the green jacket in 1986 at the age of 46.
I guess it’s true what they write: the era of the old athlete is over.
Tiger Woods, who is four shots off the lead with an opening round 70, already has four Masters wins (Nicklaus has the record with six).
Liars’ Club
I mean, it’s too easy at this point. Even fish in a barrel require you aim some. Exhibit A, Stephen Moore, who’s currently being recommended for a high-level gig at the Federal Reserve by the Trumpster:
Exhibit B, the Trumpster himself, after WikiLeaks founder and generally creepy looking dude Julian Assange was arrested in London on Thursday:
versus…
Yes. Wow. The President and his cronies are big fat liars. But they’re not the first politicians who skirted the truth. It’s just that Trump is the first in memory who seems to have absolutely no concern that you’ve caught him in a bold-faced contradiction. Only the present is real. Whatever he just said is the only truth. Until he says something absolutely opposite tomorrow.
Keeping It In The Pham*
*The judges will grudgingly accept “Phamtastic!”
On Wednesday Tampa Bay Rays left fielder Tommy Pham homered twice as the Rays completed a three-game sweep of the White Sox in Chicago. But you don’t care about the Rays or White Sox, nor do we. This is newsworthy because Pham, 31, reached base for a 45th consecutive game.
We thought you might be wondering what the Major League record is and who holds it. And we’re here for you: 84 games, Ted Williams. Perhaps you’ve heard of him.
The White Walkers Are Climate Change
“Duh”
The eighth and final season of Game Of Thrones (a.k.a. “How The Westeros Was Won”) begins Sunday night. So here’s a quick cheat sheet/semester review for you, and here is a nerdy comprehensive glossary.
What we’d really like to discuss, though, is whether the show’s creators (or George R.R. Martin, the creator of this mythic world) envisioned the White Walkers to symbolize climate change. See, just like climate change, the White Walkers are thought to be fake news by the generally dishonest and self-interested types in Westeros. And just like climate change, while half the world denies the existence of the White Walkers while they scheme ways to take over the world, maybe none of their worst-laid plans are going to matter once the Night King marches into town.
We can’t all move to Dorn
The ironic twist, of course, is that the Night King and his White Walkers aim to send the world into an eternal winter. Climate change is doing the exact opposite.
Master Degrees
For just $90, Natalie Portman will be your acting coach
You’ve seen those Master Class ads before YouTube videos, but have you ever delved further? We decided to do so last night. Turns out you can pay $180 per year (don’t know how many classes you may take) or $90 per class.
The “faculty” consists of about 5 dozen figures, many of them world famous such as Garry Kasparov (teaching chess) or Jane Goodall (teaching conservation). From whom you’d want to take a class, i.e., watch on a video for an hour so, that’s entirely subjective. Us, we’d like to listen to Daniel Negreanu teach poker, Helen Mirren acting, Aaron Sorkin screenwriting and Werner Herzog film-making.
Truly, the Master Class series is a wonderful idea. We just wonder about the execution. If you can do, after all, that does not necessarily mean you can teach. Has someone rated the faculty yet? And when will Stephen Miller be asked to teach white nationalism/authoritarianism?
Music 101
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
We all, every damn last one of us, had a crush on Pat Benatar in 1981. Oh, are there other people in the band? I hadn’t noticed. Debbie Harry was more glamorous, Chrissie Hynde was riding in the backseat in the bad boys’ car, but Pat Benatar, well, she almost seemed within your reach. And besides, every other girl in sophomore bio had her haircut.
Here she is on the late and somewhat lamented Fridays, which was ABC’s and L.A.’s answer to SNL. It never quite took off, even though it had future superstars Larry David and Michael Richards in the cast.
One more thought: Not enough drummers take advantage of the mid-song gong blast any more.
Remote Patrol
Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb
8 p.m. TCM
Another classic we’ve never seen! Psyched. The ultimate black comedy, since the topic is thermonuclear global destruction and no one will be saved. One of Stanley Kubrick’s gems, with Peter Sellers in three roles (including the president of the United States). “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here; this is the War Room!”
A golf ball skips across the water on the 16th hole at the Masters. José María Olazábal did what the golf patrons cheered him into doing… try and skip the ball across the water and onto the green during a practice round at the in Augusta, GA. @TheMasters#masters2019pic.twitter.com/ZUWTDyG71L
Is this a black hole located 53 million light years from Earth, or is it what you see when you close your eyes and rub them really hard? Both! Whoa. Macro-universe meets micro-universe.
Mind.
Blown.
This is Katie Bouman, who took the iconic photo and will never have to buy her own beer at a Comic-con convention again.
Congratulations to Katie Bouman to whom we owe the first photograph of a black hole ever. Not seeing her name circulate nearly enough in the press.
Amazing work. And here’s to more women in science (getting their credit and being remembered in history) 💥🔥☄️ pic.twitter.com/wcPhB6E5qK
Last weekend Jennifer Kupcho (above) won the inaugural Augusta National Women’s Amateur tournament at the famed Georgia golf course. Kupcho, a senior at Wake Forest and the reigning NCAA individual champion, shot a minus-10 for the four-round tournament, the first two rounds of which were played on another course in the same town.
This was the first competitive women’s tournament ever played at Augusta (at least the final two rounds, for the 30 babes women who made the cut), a haven of male chauvinism that only begrudgingly began admitting female members seven years ago.
Kupcho’s landmark achievement promoted Yahoo! Sports Dan Wetzel to wonder, “Should Augusta National Hold A Women’s Masters?” But of course it should. I mean, now that they’ve gone through the trouble of installing lady’s tees, might as well, right?
Augusta And Everything After, or “How The Facts Can Get In The Way Of A Sympathetic Narrative”
Read this story by New Jersey Advance Media’s Steve Politi when you get a chance. Politi, a highly regarded columnist (I don’t personally know him), details the “harrowing tale” of Clayton Baker, a dude who was taken on an excursion to The Masters in 2012, attempted to steal some sand from the 10th hole, and was arrested.
I guess my first question is, Why do we need to read about a story that’s seven years old? The second, after reading about how Baker’s “reputation was so ravaged” was, I’ve never heard of him nor have 90% of your readers, I imagine, so why would he consent to be interviewed for this story if he was so worried about his reputation?
As I read the story, two thoughts became clear: 1) Sure, Augusta’s leadership and policies are draconian and out of touch with the modern world, but is there anyone who follows golf who wasn’t already aware of that? and 2) Here’s another well-heeled white guy who’s butt-hurt that the rules actually apply to him, too.
Interesting slant to the story. My summary: some wealthy white guy didn’t think rules applied to him and found out otherwise, resulting in some extra charges on his private jet.
The facts of the tale are interesting, even if seven years is quite a long time to wait before sharing a rather insignificant story. More illuminating to us, though, is the sympathetic slant Politi takes. I don’t feel sorry for Baker one bit. He got what he deserved. And the only reason he “lost $20,000” is because those are the stakes he was already playing with. If you (or your friend) can afford to put up a $4,500 security deposit on a badge just to attend a golf tournament, well, WHITE PEOPLE PROBLEMS.
But then no one documents or agonizes over WPP quite like sportswriters, who often share with us their own harrowing experiences of delayed flights, rental car or hotel room exigencies, or even not getting an ideal seat at a sporting event, all of the above which they are not even paying for. Oh, the travails!
And finally, Clayton, maybe you should be embarrassed about being so bad at vandalism/skulduggery. It’s like that scene from In Bruges where Ralph Fiennes informs the thief that if he let a victim disarm him and shoot his eye out with a blank using the thief’s own gun, you get what you deserve for being just that incompetent. Great scene, by the way.
(Go to the 2-minute mark)
Harmony And Discord
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRO6jZgQ6i4
Last night we stumbled upon this YouTube video detailing the strange four-part saga of David Letterman and bizarre auteur Harmony Korine, the precocious but odd and troubled mind behind Kids, Gummo and Spring Breakers.
Korine may be a near-genius, but he’s also something of a punk. You can tell he’s just having a go at Letterman with this Emo Phillips act through the first two interviews, but Dave is on to him. And quick. By the third interview you can see that he’s got to be strung out and Dave, short of calling him out, says, “I’m going to say something I’ve never said to a guest in 17 years of hosting this show: As soon as this is over go back to the hotel and take a hot shower.”
Korine’s fourth appearance never quite happened, and when Korine’s friend James Franco appears on Late Show to promote Spring Breakers, the two of them finally hash out why Korine was banned from the show for life. The beauty of this to us is that Dave didn’t broach the topic. Franco sort of pushed the issue and shared that Korine is a good friend. At last Dave, prompted to confirm Franco’s version of the story, reveals the truth. If you don’t know the tale, I won’t ruin it for you. But it’s worth waiting for.
Is Bitcoin Back?
Everyone’s favorite 17th century tulip (or Baker Mayfield) appears to be making a comeback. On February 6th the price of Bitcoin was $3,366 and a share of Greyscale Bitcoin Trust (GBTC), the easiest way to purchase Bitcoin as a stock (we own this, since mid-February) was $3.66.
Today? Bitcoin is $5,306, a 58% leap in just a little more than two months, while GBTC closed at $7.32, which is EXACTLY a 100% leap in the same period. Prit-tee, prit-tee good.
By comparison, in the second half of 2017, when Bitcoin mania saw its price soar from $1,055 on January 4 to $16,776 on December 13, ownerhip of this cryptocurrency offered the prospect of life-changing wealth. Particularly if you had been in before 2017 and were living in your parents’ basement.
The traditionalists were mocking Bitcoin by the beginning of 2018 and denouncing Bitcoin as a classic bubble if not an outright fraud. So the choice is yours: As Bitcoin appears to be significantly climbing for the first time since its meteoric rise of 2017, do you jump in? Or do you watch from the sidelines with a scolding glare?
Throw out the fundamentals and the Buffet-like analysis here. It’s a cult stock. It’s black or red at the roulette table. It’s a Journey lyric: Some’ll win/some’ll lose/some are born to sing the blues…
Music 101
Run And Run
Go on, tell Mary/Go on, tell Jane/Go on, tell Superman/Tell Lois Lane. Love ThePsychedelic Furs, the band who epitomize the most exciting and exotic aspects of New Wave for a generation of us who were weaned on it in high school. Richard Butler’s haunting voice hints of rules that we might want to break as long as we don’t break curfew.
Bassist Tim Butler, Richard’s brother, explains the band’s origin: ” “I was about 17 years old and my brother Richard and I were sitting around discussing music one night, and he asked me if I wanted to form a band. I told him I couldn’t play anything. He said ‘what do you want to play?’ I told him, ‘bass,’ to which he replied ‘then, buy a bass and we’ll form a band.’ Needless to say I did, we did, and here I am.”
All epic journeys begin with a first step.
The band never had a Top 25 hit, but John Hughes and more than a few trench coat-clad teens (we even had an invasion of them in my Phoenix high school, where the climate did not make such garments necessary) knew what was up.
Remote Patrol
3:10 To Yuma
8 p.m. TCM
Van Heflin is the undisputed king of the weary rancher who may be in over his head with the gunslingers of the wild, wild west but is not about to sacrifice his integrity. His character in this 1957 film and in the classic Shane is essentially the same dude: a homesteader trying to simply raise his family and survive who gets caught up in the swirling events of outlaws and duels in the sun. He’s got to make a choice between keeping his word or taking the easy way out, but really there’s no choice: there’s never a good reason to travel to Yuma (trust us on this one).
