by Michael DePaoli

DRUG CATAPULT 

According to The Arizona Republic, a drug catapult was found along the Mexican border that was capable of launching packages of marijuana weighing almost fifty pounds (Ed. Note: Or Mexican ninos y ninas?)

In a related story, my ladder at home was manufactured in Mexico. So, they have ladders in Mexico, in addition to catapults.

In another related story, Reuters is reporting that the current estimated price of the Mexican “wall” is $21.6 billion. It will not even be a complete wall, because there will be fences in certain spots, not walls.

In yet another related story, Pew Research reports that approximately 52% of the recent unauthorized immigrants in the United States are coming from Mexico. The other 48% of the unauthorized immigrants in the USA are coming from other countries (i.e. where it would not be possible to build a border fence/wall) (Ed. Note: Giant sand castle fortress?)

BORDER ADJUSTMENT TAX? 

In a further attempt to isolate the USA from civilized relationships with the rest of the world, some members of the GOP have proposed a border adjustment system of taxation.

According to CNN Money, the Chief Executive Officers of various large retail chains (Target, JC Penney, Best Buy, Gap, Tractor Supply, Joanne) are meeting with Congress to discuss this GOP proposal to create a “border-adjustment” reformation of the tax code. Reportedly, the major retailers are opposed to the border adjustment tax because it would increase their tax burden and force them to increase prices.

The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes, @NBCNews, @ABC, @CBS, @CNN) is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American People!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 17, 2017

It is very complicated (admittedly the last time I took a cost accounting class was in 1987), but I think I am able to explain the bottom line of the hypothetical proposal: All goods sold would be hit with a 20% tax. However, all goods made in the USA and exported would be granted a deduction for the 20% tax, whereas all imported goods would be forced to pay the 20% tax. So, the net effect would be that the border adjustment tax allows you to impose a “tariff” of 20% on all imported goods, but you call it a “tax” and not a tariff.

The border adjustment tax would probably have (or might not have) the following consequences: (1) Trump would violate his “contract with the American voter” because the border adjustment would not be an across-the-board tax rate reduction for businesses to 15% like he promised, (2) The short term results would be a tremendous increase in collected tax revenue, (3) The businesses in the USA would pass on most if not all of the new tax to the consumer by increasing prices, (4) Businesses would adjust to the border adjustment and find ways to avoid the new tax over the long term, thereby decreasing future tax revenue, (5) The dollar would have the tendency to strengthen, which sounds nice until you remember that the USA is trillions of dollars in debt, (6) If the dollar did in fact strengthen, then the long term price of imports might come down because of the higher buying power of the dollar, (7) Inflation would probably return, especially if the dollar did not strengthen significantly as compared to the other currencies, (8) Wages would have to increase to keep up with inflation, which might be great for the worker but would be bad for businesses, (9) There would probably be an avalanche of court cases necessary to interpret and implement the new system of taxation, including a case before the World Trade Organization because the border adjustment tax would be nothing more than a disguised tariff.

President Trump said recently that the border adjustment tax is “too complicated.” Republican Representative Devin Nunes on the House Ways and Means Committee said on CNBC that “there won’t be a tax bill” unless border adjustment tax is included.

It is a scary reality when the two branches of government that create our laws do not even know the correct direction to take on the issue of corporate taxation.

GRAMMY AWARDS

Some people are angry and calling for a boycott of the Grammy Awards because of alleged racism. The primary evidence this year is that Adele won the award for album of the year and Beyonce did not win it.

Are the Grammy Awards really racist? The awards are chosen by The Recording Academy, which is an organization based in the USA, and the USA has had a long and sordid history of outright racism. So, it would probably be safe to assume that at least some of the members of The Recording Academy are racist.

However, when you make an accusation that someone lost a contest because of racism, you are also making the concomitant accusation that someone else won the contest who did not deserve to win. So, once you allege that Beyonce should have won, you are making the argument that Adele should have lost.

Adele’s album titled “25” is an amazing work of art. In terms of album sales it was a tremendous success. According to Billboard, “25” is the sixth album since 2001 to sell more than eight million copies. The other five albums in this category are Usher’s “Confessions, 50 Cent’s “Get Rich or Die Tryin,’” Norah Jones’s “Come Away With Me,” and Eminem’s “The Eminem Show.”

So, did Adele deserve to lose? In answering this question, I must first admit that no matter how many times I hear the song “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” I still cannot figure out why the Devil lost to Johnny (Ed. Note: Solid point, but I’m not a fiddle expert either)

Adele deserved to win album of the year over Beyonce in 2017, but Beyonce deserved to win album of the year over Beck in 2015, and Rihanna deserved to win album of the year over Adele in 2012, and Lady Gaga deserved to win album of the year over both Taylor Swift and Beyonce in 2010.

The real tragedy of the Grammy Awards this year was that Disturbed’s “Sound of Silence” was perhaps the best and most unique remake of any song of all time, and yet the song was only nominated for a lesser category (Best Rock Performance) and did not win the award. Take a listen:

OVERTIME

This is a good listen….

by John Walters

Starting Five

Donald does not Duck the “opposition party”

1. Spirit of 77 Minutes

Tony Soprano had Dr. Melfi. Donald Trump has the White House press corps.

With very little advance notice, Trump called a midday press conference and owned the air waves for 77 minutes (Why should Jake Tapper have all the fun?)

Donald won a few, lost more (well done, Peter Alexander), and used a lot of superlatives, more superlatives than anyone else in the world, in fact (“Buh-lieve me!”). Still, this was the most fun he’s had since having taken the oath of office.

Why? Because doing the job has never been what motivates him. Winning the job does.. He’s into the chase, with ratings, with money, with women, and even for the White House. Having it, well, what’s the fun of that? Another Donald from New York, a Don Draper once articulated the Trump motive:

2. Bully. Pulpit.

In all the years of doing The Apprentice, Thursday was Trump’s best reality-show performance. And the most illuminating as to who he is. It was fun to watch the dismissive jabs he threw at reporters (“I know you have to stand and ask your question; so important”) and to watch as the press fought back.

(59:39)

“Where are you from?”
“BBC.”
“Here’s another beauty.”
“That’s a good line. Impartial, free and fair.”

It’s during these jousts that we see how impulsive he is. How thin-skinned. How defensive.  As someone noted on Twitter, this was the press conference of a football coach who knows he’s about to be fired.

3. Let’s Make A Deal

Will Vladimir pick what’s behind Silo No. 3?

When Major Garrett of CBS (when will he be promoted to Lt. Colonel??? I”m pulling for you, Major) asked Trump about the Russian spy ship and other recent provocations from  Putin testing him, Trump interjected, “Not good.” Then, in a rambling two-minute answer in which Trump intoned “Nuclear holocaust is like no other” (Look, he just mentioned “holocaust” without referencing Jews again), he used the word “deal” eight times in relation to Russia. What deal? Like, treaty? What? Is everything a deal with this man (yes)?

4. Anti-Semitic or Anti-Semantic?

Asked about an uptick of threats against Jewish people since the election—and granted, we elect a president, not a national hall monitor or poor behavior—Trump replied, “So here’s the story, folks. Number one, I am the least…anti-Semitic person that you’ve ever seen…in your entire life. Number two, the least racist person. In fact we did very well.…”

And then he moved on to how he did at the ballots with certain minorities.

Again, and I apologize for being so repetitious, but it always goes back to being about him. And I haven’t had the time or the will to review the entire presser, but notice how often Trump mentions himself in the superlative degree (“The most” this, “the greatest” that). It’s Demagoguery 101, and I don’t even think he knows or cares how it sounds.

The thing is, he’s just entertaining, charismatic and unpredictable enough that you want to keep watching or listening. It’s all bulls*t, but what great theater.

5. Stranger Things

Abby (left) and Libby

Let’s turn away from Trump’s presser and nuclear holocaust and move on to something upbeat. What do we have? Oh, here’s something. Two young teenage girls in northwest Indiana went for a hike in the woods on Monday afternoon. They were dropped off at 1 p.m. (their school had no classes that day) but failed to show up to be picked up four hours later.

Both were found dead the following day.

The bodies of Libby German, 14, and Abby Williams, 13, were found near a railroad bridge in the town of Delphi, not too far from Purdue University. Investigators are calling it a double homicide and have a photo of a person of interest, a man, seen walking solo on the trail. This is the first known double homicide in the history of that county.

Person of Interest….

Police have released almost no details, but you wonder how someone was able to detain both girls. And while, yes, this happened along a secluded nature trail, how did no one hear a scream? And finally, how does this happen? Is it premeditated? Is there a bogeyman just waiting for a woman to come by, and why on this day? It’s just pure evil, and it’s a total nightmare.

What a light and bouncy set of items today….

Music 101 

Time For Me To Fly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4uvS9l-FcQ

REO Speedwagon was still a Chicago-area band in 1978 when it released the album (What were you thinking with that title?) You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Fish. At the time America was not into white bread rock as disco, punk and embryonic New Wave ruled. Even though the first two songs on this album are classics (this one and “Roll With The Changes”), they never got the love that later, far cheesier and far inferior REO tunes would This song, for example, peaked at No. 56. REO is the classic example of a band whose best tunes, written earlier, are inversely proportional to how popular the band became, which was later.

Remote Patrol

SUNDAY

NBA All-Star Game

8 p.m. TNT

Mane attraction

I’ll be honest: If I’m watching TV at all on Sunday night, I’ll be watching Tangled on ABC. That’s a solid animated movie (don’t ask how I first happened upon it). But I’m a little excited about watching the Greak Freak, Giannis Antetokounmpo, to watch league MVP Russell Westbrook come off the bench and shoot for a third consecutive All-Star Game MVP, and for the courtesy claps Gordon Hayward will receive (How many times did you vote online, Grant?).

by John Walters

Starting Five

Bay of Pigs

The two men above have been married six times. The man on the left is renowned for just grabbing women by their genitals against their will. He is on tape boasting about it. The man on the right was charged in a domestic violence case against his second wife in 1996 in Santa Monica, but she then mysteriously did not appear for the trial.

This man above just decided, after two months of bad press about his feelings toward people who work for him, about the incredibly sexist ads that run for his fast-food joints, and after news about his having himself hired an illegal immigrant to work in his house, to withdraw his name from consideration for the Secretary of Labor. But all that news had already been out there. So what changed yesterday?

This video, from a 1990 episode of Oprah, was released shortly after midnight. That’s Puzder’s ex-wife, Lisa Henning, appearing to talk about being a high-class battered woman.  Oprah provided senators with access to that footage earlier this week, but the general public had no access to this.,

No one would have ever learned of this, and Puzder would have likely been confirmed, if not for one of the other panelists that day recalling she had an old tape of her appearance on the episode titled “High Class Battered Women.” Important to note: Oprah supplied the tape to the senators, but that did not seem to alter Puzder’s candidacy. Only after the “dishonest media” made it public, due to this woman’s supplying the tape, was his candidacy sunk.

2 Tweeting Yourself Right Out Of The White House

Remember when print media was investigating and attempting to corroborate reports about General Michael Flynn speaking to the Russians about sanctions back in December? Here’s what Donald Trump had to say about that last week.

The fake news media is going crazy with their conspiracy theories and blind hatred. @MSNBC & @CNN are unwatchable. @foxandfriends is great!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 15, 2017

But then, on Monday, The Washington Post, using information from unnamed sources, was able to make very specific—and accurate—claims about those reports. And that made it look as if V.P. Mike Pence had lied to the American public or that Pence had been lied to by Flynn. The Trump administration chose Door No. 2 and Flynn was fired the next day. Which led to this tweet:

The real scandal here is that classified information is illegally given out by “intelligence” like candy. Very un-American!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 15, 2017

And that tweet, although Trump lies so often that even he cannot remember what he had denied or what is real, is pretty much an admission of guilt. Coupled with Flynn’s firing, of course. If these were merely conspiracy theories, Trump would never have fired Flynn nor would he have been all that upset by leaks. As Jake Tapper patiently attempted to explain to 45 yesterday:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CkatUOvAWE

Meanwhile, what we are seeing and what you should expect going forward is an Opposite George-ing of America. That is, whatever mantra you’ve had shoved down your gob, I’d bet on the exact opposite to occur:

— “Repeal and Replace Obamacare” will probably lead to Obamacare remaining intact.

–“Lock her up!” will probably lead to locking them up.

–“Fake News” is real news

–“Dishonest media” are the only people you can trust.

— “I love WikiLeaks” has already become “leakers are criminals.”

–And “Make America Great Again!” is well, we’ve already seen what’s happened in just the first month.

3. Picture Perfect

The World Press Photo awards were held last weekend. Now that seems as if it would be a lot more fun than some dumb journalism awards. Anyway, the above shot by Tom Jenkins of The Guardian took first prize in the Sports division. It’s from the Grand National horsey races in Liverpool, England. To see a gallery of all the winners, click here.

4. The Sand Lot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCgLSY-3bYw

Under consideration for a Best Foreign Film Oscar in two Sundays: Danish film Land Of Mine, which is a bad pun considering that the subject matter is the true story of German P.O.W.’s just after World War II being forced to extricate land mines from Danish beaches that their comrades in arms had planted during the war.

It’s based on true events, as of course is another war film soon to be released (in July) that is based on what took place a few hundred miles southwest on the coast of the North Sea, Dunkirk.

According to Land of Mine, original Danish title Under Sandet, approximately 2,000 German soldiers, many of them barely teenagers, either lost their lives or limbs in this grisly duty. This is MH‘s pick to win in this category.

5. “I’m Melting!”

This should concern you. From the National Geographic today:

Sea ice in Antarctica has hit a worrisome milestone, reaching its lowest recorded extent this week, according to data from the U.S. National Snow and Ice Data Center. The daily ice area recorded on Tuesday represents an all-time low: 2.22 million square kilometers (858,691 square miles).

Of course, no one in the White House and some members of CNBC’s “Squawk Box” would prefer not to hear about this because you can’t profit from it. But guess what? This problem isn’t going away….and soon it will literally be at our feet….then our ankles…and knees…

And just so you know they’re not kooks, this story from The Guardian buttresses the data and suggest the climate-change skeptic are going to have a difficult time mansplaining this information away to suit their pro-fossil fuel arguments.

Reserves

The Assassination of King Jong Nam

An airport, a lone traveler, and two hotties who committed the evil deed…..

Music 101

A Million Miles Away

There was a sweet spot in the New Wave era when it was really closer to punk. In 1983 southern Cal band The Plimsouls had a minor hit with this tune after it was included on the soundtrack for Valley Girl (starring a promising young actor named Nicholas Cage).

Remote Patrol

Spotlight 

HBO Now

As the media tightens the screws on Trump, it’s worth it to go back and watch last year’s Best Picture Oscar winner if you’ve only seen it the first time (or not at all). Remember that what needed to happen for the Spotlight team to get their story was 1) hours and hours of meticulous digging, 2) finding a man of means who had a lot to lose if he didn’t level with them and 3) a socially awkward lawyer played by Stanley Tucci (deserved a Best Supporting Actor win for this).

If you don’t have HBO Now, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (“Print the legend”) airs on TCM at 9 p.m.

by John Walters

Starting Five

What if he were the Leaker-in-Chief?

Winning

A funny thought occurred to us as the Trump White House was imploding, primarily due to leaks from within:  What if Barry from the Block was the source for a lot of WaPo’s intel on how Trump officials had spoken to Russian operatives during the campaign? Revenge is a dish best served from your billionaire pal’s jet boat in the Caribbean…

Also, who’s the lucky Secret Service bloke who landed the Obama post-presidency detail? That’s a sweet gig.

The real story here is why are there so many illegal leaks coming out of Washington? Will these leaks be happening as I deal on N.Korea etc?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 14, 2017

Yeah that’s not the real story https://t.co/YYGXR7sHZ7

— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) February 14, 2017

p.s. We know there’s so much to unwrap with the Trump/Russia scandal, but let’s just save most of that for tomorrow, shall we? We know how this is going to end.

Joltin’ Joe Trudeau

“Must I?”

Missed this from Monday, but between the wistful pre-Valentine’s Day stares he received from Ivanka, the handshake showdown, and Spicey getting his first name (it’s Pierre  Update: Apparently, it’s Justin) wrong at a later presser, the Canadian prime minister made quite an impression during his White House visit. “It’s another day of Trump/Another day of Trump…”

3. Messi Match in Paris

Di Maria was angelic on the pitch

Well, that went poorly. In their Champions League round of 16 versus Paris-St. Germain in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, Barcelona was skunked 4-0. Barca, which may have the greatest collection of (South American) talent of any one side on the planet, now must win at least 4-0 at Camp Nou in a few weeks to advance to the quarters. No side has overcome such a deficit after the first tie.

The Paris-St. Germain’ians were led by Angel Di Maria, who scored two goals on his 29th birthday. Like Lionel Messi of Barca, he is an Argentine.

Jesus has not risen….

Equally momentous soccer news yesterday: Gabriel Jesus, the 19 year-old wunderkind for Manchester City out of Brazil, fractured his metatarsal bone in his right foot in a 2-0 defeat of (MH’s favorite side) AFC Bournemouth on Monday. Jesus will likely miss the rest of the season. Look at us, giving you soccer injury reports.

(Now please don’t ask us to report on bizarre NHL coaching hires).

4. Rumor Has It

A German Shepherd from Wisconsin named Rumor was awarded Best In Show at the 141st Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show last night. The pooch bested 3,000 other woofers from 202 other breeds and afterward answered questions from the media such as, “Isn’t he a good dog! Isn’t he a good dog!”

Then Rumor took a dump on the Madison Square Garden carpet and was banned for life from returning by James Dolan.

5. LeBron Goes 5-Hole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9zLWo7oLVc

And one….Was that really necessary, LBJ? And against the dude who should’ve been his Cavs teammate. Well, now, that’s embarrassing.

Related: Wiggins dropped 41 on the Cavs.

Also related: Minnesota lost (I’m bummed about the Zach LaVine injury).

Reserves

I mean, I get it, Kate Upton is quite the milk maid, but in terms of sheer pulchritude, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes and Hannah Jeter are at another level. But, you know, canteloupe, cant-AH-loupe.

***

Izzo Goes Off On Dakich

Loved this. Dan Dakich, who calls games on ESPN AND has his own radio show but refuses to be labeled as media (because he’d rather trash us and think of himself as a basketball coach—THEN GO COACH A TEAM, Dan), gets ripped by an actual successful basketball coach and a decent human being, Tom Izzo. It’s been a while in coming, someone needing to call Dakich a schmuck. I bet Norby will defend him, though.

Music 101

Precious & Few

They don’t write them like they used to….this is the band Climax from 1972, with their hit that rose to No. 3 on the Billboard charts and remained there for three weeks. Yes, the songs sounds a lot like something that The Association might have written. Lead singer Sonny Gerard died just 10 days ago.

Remote Patrol

Arsenal at Bayern Munich

2:30 p.m.

He now plays for Man U., but we just like saying, “SCHWEINSTEIGER!”

Champions League Round of 16 play continues as Arsenal, last year’s Premier League runners-up (and 4th currently), visit four-time defending Bundesliga champion Bayern “SCHWEINSTEIGER!” Munich.

Also good tonight: No. 12 Duke at No. 14 Virginia (9 p.m., ESPN). Luke Kennard will be bald by age 24 but man is he a solid and overlooked player.

by Michael DePaoli

 TRUMP ITCHING FOR WAR?

On Sunday, North Korea fired a ballistic missile that was in violation of resolutions from the United Nations Security Council. On Monday, Donald Trump (with the nuclear football not far away) said that he would deal “very strongly” with North Korea because he sees North Korea as a “big, big problem.”

Trump made this threat against North Korea on the same day that his National Security Advisor, Michael Flynn, resigned from office. Flynn had an unethical (maybe illegal) communication with the Russian ambassador. Flynn lied about the conversation and denied that sanctions were discussed. Then, Flynn caused Vice President Pence to lie about the conversation.

Some people are making excuses for Pence, claiming that Pence did not know the truth about Flynn’s lies. Yeah, whatever. In the court of public opinion, we all should give Pence about as much deference as the Trump administration is giving the immigrant workers who are being rounded up and deported. Plus, the former acting (Ed. Note: Acting? We loved her in Sunset Boulevard) Attorney General Sally Yates warned the White House almost a month prior to the Flynn resignation that Flynn had not been honest. So, the cries of Pence being duped ring hollow, else Flynn would have been fired, immediately.

The trouble here is that Trump made the threat against North Korea on the same day that his National Security Advisor had already been completely compromised. So, who was advising the President to start making threats against a small nation that will never back down from a fight? Indeed, in the First Korean War we bombed North Korea to the Stone Age, and all we ended up with was a ceasefire agreement.

Trump’s terrible decision-making ability has already been amply demonstrated when he gave the command (over dinner) to commence the Yemen Raid, which resulted in the death of one American Navy Seal hero, the deaths of about nine children, and the destruction of an expensive American aircraft. No doubt, all military raids are dangerous and things can go wrong. In this case Trump is so delusional that after nine children were killed he actually labeled the raid a success.

There was a time when we laughed at Kim Jong Un as the leader of North Korea, but now the USA has its own version of Kim Jong Un named Donald Trump and it is not so funny, anymore. I wonder who is the bigger liar, the North Korean leader or our President. When Trump can say that the USA is the moral equivalent of Russia, then I can say that Trump himself is the moral equivalent of Kim Jong Un.

When The Donald finally starts the war he seeks, I humbly request that all the people who donated money to the Trump campaign run straight down to the recruiting office and join the military. When you have sent money to Trump you should own up to your dirty deed and be the first to fight the war that you bought.

 STEPHEN MILLER = THE JOKER

While being interviewed by George Stephanopoulos, Trump’s Senior Adviser Stephen Miller had this to say about Trump’s false claims of voter fraud: “I am prepared to go on any show, anywhere, anytime, and repeat it and say the President of the United States is correct.”

Such is the plan. You just find an evil little racist (like Stephen Miller), you ask him to create headlines, and with any luck the people will forget about all the campaign promises that you have already broken. By raising the non-issue of voter fraud, Trump has successfully taken reporters away from covering (and researching) all of Trump’s ties to Russia.

Hiding behind nasty Stephen Miller, Trump can avoid numerous tough questions that need to be asked, including: Where is your plan to defeat ISIS? Where is your tax cut that you promised? Where are the jobs that you promised? When you met with the Japanese Prime Minister did you negotiate and complete the bilateral replacement deal for the Trans-Pacific Partnership? Have you started paying off the Federal debt? Did you reduce spending, yet? When are you going to drain the swamp?

MING DYNASTY

The Houston Rockets retired Yao Ming’s number 11 jersey last Friday. Although his career was injury-plagued, Yao was an eight-time all-star in the NBA. Other members of the Houston Rockets with their jerseys previously retired: Clyde Drexler (22), Calvin Murphy (23), Moses Malone (24), Hakeem Olajuwon (34), and Rudy Tomjanovich(45).

Yao Ming’s Top 10 Plays of his Career: