by John Walters
A Medium Happy 43rd to Lena Headey, a.k.a. Queen Cersei,
Starting Five
Et Tu, Alec?
If you have not yet seen it, Saturday Night Live opened its 42nd season by distilling last Monday night’s 90-minute presidential debate down to less than 10 minutes. Love the nod to Willy Wonka in Hillary/Kate McKinnon’s entrance.
Here’s what Alec Baldwin, who nailed Trump in this skit, had to say about a Trump presidency to Howard Stern back in July.
2. Another Hobnail Boot
In the space of about, oh, 10 minutes early Saturday evening, North Carolina and Tennessee ruined Florida State’s and Georgia’s seasons, respectively. Oh, it was glorious.
First, in Tallahassee: the Seminoles scored with :23 remaining, as quarterback Deondre Francois ducked under a sack on a blown up play at the seven-yard line, then sprinted and dove into the end zone for the go-ahead score. Seminoles 35 (post-PAT), Tar Heels 34.
But it was not over.
Tar Heel QB Mitch Trubisky, the nation’s leading passer in terms of completion percentage (76%), completed a 23-yard pass, then the Heels got a pass interference flag. Onto the field strides kicker Nick Weiler, who booms a Hail Mary field goal, from 54 yards out, through the uprights, as the Surrender Cobra makes an appearance in Tallahassee. UNC 37, FSU 35. The Heels end the nation’s longest home win streak, 22 games, as Weiler sprints down the field doing the Tomahawk Chop, and give the Seminoles a a second loss while moving to 4-1 themselves. UNC could win the ACC Coastal.
Weiler and the Heels seem pretty excited about a non-playoff game. Weird.
So you flip the channel from ESPN to CBS and Uncle Verne. And as you do, Georgia freshman QB Jacob Eason hits wideout Riley Ridley in stride for a 47-yard touchdown pass along the left sideline with 0:10 remaining. Was it a Hail Mary? Not really. It was just bad coverage.
But it was not over.
Ridley took his helmet off in the end zone (unsportsmanlike conduct, 15 yards), plus UGA was offsides on the kickoff (5 more yards). So that’s 20 yards in penalties before Tennessee even takes a snap. Did Mark Richt ever really leave Athens?
So the Vols snap the ball with ;04 to play from the Georgia 43, after returning the kickoff. Josh Dobbs throws it into the end zone on a Hail Mary and Jauan Jennings retrieves it, fighting off a few Dawgs who defended like puppies. Tennessee 34, UGA 31. And now the Dawgs have two losses while the Vols remain undefeated as they travel to Texas A&M (two road games against ranked teams in as many weeks: always bad).
Vol fans celebrated between the hedges
Meanwhile, this week in college football, it’s all about the Northeast: Clemson travels to Boston College, Meechigan to Piscataway, and Houston to Annapolis.
The Medium Happy Excellent Eight: 1) Ohio State 2) Alabama 3) Clemson 4) Texas A&M 5) Michigan 6) Washington 7) Houston 8) Louisville
3. Sticking Up With the Kardashians
Last week in Paris, this ass-grabber was stopped going after Kim. Tough week in France.
Two masked gunmen wearing police uniforms somehow infiltrated Kim Kardashian’s apartment inside a mansion in Paris and held her up at gunpoint. They stole an estimated $10 million worth of bling. Kim was in Paris with her mom and two of her sisters, Kourtney and Kendall Jenner, for Fashion Week.
Meanwhile at Citi Field, Kanye West canceled his show mid-song, though I believe the auto tune continued for a few minutes. Who’d have thought that the most interesting thing that ever happened to Kim would take place off-camera?
4. He’s With Her
Will Nike now come out with an Air Hillary?
The King has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. You may have read that Ohio is a fairly large battleground state. LeBron James didn’t just answer a reporter’s question and say, “I guess so,” when asked if he would be voting for Clinton, he wrote an op-ed in Business Insider. I wonder how this will sway voters in the Buckeye State, and/or if his mentions will be filled with “Stick to sports.”
Will Nike now come out with an Air Hillary?
Also, pro-Hillary: “I’m With Her.” Pro-Trump: “I’m With Herr!”
Meanwhile, The New York Times posted Donald Trump’s 1995 tax returns (I don’t think that’s legal, is it, Jethro?) over the weekend and strongly intimated that he has not paid personal income taxes in 18 years.
5. Rickie, Don’t Lose That Number
Fowler, on the right, should’ve made a move on Paulina (left) here. Her lips seem unoccupied at the moment
I hear the USA won the Ryder Cup, which fills me with tremendous patriotic pride. I guess. For those of us non-duffers, this picture of the Yanks celebrating with their wives as teammate Rickie Fowler just sort of looks around and waits to download Tinder is pretty special.
Music 101
Day After Day
If you lived in a dorm room equipped with a bong pipe and an eight-track player in the early- to mid-Seventies, you probably owned a Badfinger album. Millennials recognize this band as the one whose song, “Baby Blue,” closed out the final moments of the series finale of Breaking Bad. This song, which was produced by George Harrison (that’s him on the signature slide guitar solos), rose to No. 4 in early 1972. Monetary disputes left the band destitute, however, because of a corrupt manager, which led first to the suicide by hanging of lead singer Peter Ham, in 1975, followed by the suicide of his close friend and the band’s guitarist, Tom Evans, who had discovered Ham’s body, eight years later. Badfinger is the ultimate “Behind the Music” waiting to be made.
We don’t do Editor’s Choice here in Music 101—I guess they all are—but some tunes stand out more than others. This is one of those. It’ll be on “Now That’s What I Call Not Crappy,” the MH compilation album, from K-Tel)
Remote Patrol
Giants at Vikings
8:30 p.m. ESPN
The Purple Peeps keep losing invaluable players in their backfield, and they keep winning. Their QB is now Sam Bradford and their top rusher a dude from Georgia Southern, but they are 3-0. Win tonight and we could be looking at a matchup of unbeatens when they visit Philadelphia (Bradford’s old team) on October 23.