by John Walters

“Omaha!” Remembering the 72nd anniversary of the day the Allies began taking the world back

Above, The Greatest Generation. Below, The Greatest.

Starting Five

1. The Greatest

On a planet of more than 7 billion people, the most common name is Muhammad (I learned that watching Superbad) and yet in most parts of the globe, if you simply said, “Muhammad,” everyone knew you were talking about Ali.

As a child of Ali I worshipped Ali (along with Roger Staubach and the Frazier-era New York Knicks) even though I wasn’t much of a fight fan or an African-American. Ali was like a comic book superhero, so tall and sculpted and handsome, and yet he was playful, mischievous, funny. I remember well waking up on that day in 1974 when my dad told me that Ali had wrested the crown from Joe Frazier, and I always took pride that he had won a bout on the day I was born (9-10-66), beating Karl Mildenberger in Frankfurt as Joe Louis, Ingemar Johansson and Max Schmeling sat in the audience.

Ali and Smoking Joe Frazier in combat, one of three bouts between them (Ali won the final two)

I wrote an obit for Newsweek that’ll be out later, but here is a paragraph from it:

Boxing was his occupation, but Muhammad Ali was a colossus of culture. He was by far the most charismatic athlete of the 20th century: passionate and ebullient; articulate and garrulous; self-absorbed but self-aware. He was undaunted by the stature of his opponents or by the divisive racial years during which he entered his prime. At a time when leaders of the civil rights movement were marching peacefully, locking arms and singing, “We Shall Overcome,” Ali was standing defiantly over the prone figures of boxers he’d dispatched of and unapologetically proclaiming, “I am The Greatest of all time!”

Cheeky

He only finished high school, but Ali was one of the smartest people you’d ever want to meet. He was the original Charles Barkley, just prettier and funnier and far more poetic and better at his sport.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTn9GeHs11I

For me, his greatest moment in the ring was the Rumble in the Jungle. George Foreman was a 6’4″ Mike Tyson at the time, a brooding, grimacing beast who had in the past 18 months put the world’s top two fighters, Frazier and Norton, on their backs within two rounds. Now a 32 year-old Ali, who had lost to both those men, was supposed to challenge him? Watch the video above (“Ali, bumaye! Ali, bumaye!“).

Finally, I love this piece by Dick Schaap, father of Jeremy, for Sport magazine back in 1971. It’s like a Mad Men script come to life. Read it when you have a moment.

Finally, if you want a truly sad and ironic moment for this year (as if he hasn’t supplied enough already), on Friday, hours before Ali died, Donald Trump was speaking at a rally in Redding, Calif., and said, “”Oh, look at my African-American over here. Look at him. Are you the greatest?”

The greatest? No.

2. Unleash The Hound

In which Sandor Clegane gets his Amish on….

So, Game of Thrones took a page out of Witness last night, as a man who knows how to kill, Sandor Clegane, finds himself gaining sanctuary by a Westerosi equivalent of Quakers led by Ian McShane, the man who rescued him from near death. By the end of the episode, though, McShane is strung up and the entire community, minus The Hound, has been slaughtered because, as you know, “the night is dark and full of terrors.”

Lyanna Mormont will grow up, attend Wellesley, then Yale Law,, and one day run for President of the United States

And we are left with the Hound, an axe, and some vengeance that needs exacting.

Has any storyline or episode of GoT ever felt more like one out of The Walking Dead than this? And how come the Hound never heard all the killing going on?
Elsewhere, Arya gets stabbed multiple times in the stomach, but The Waif doesn’t wait around long enough to see if she has drowned (and I guess we’ll have to wait and see how she Jon Snows her way out of a mortal fate); and Sansa and Jon pull the Jake and Elwood Blues act of trying to get the band back together.

Don’t you love how Benioff and Weiss, by the way, are so worried about us? Two weeks ago they killed off Hodor and in the subsequent two episodes have resurrected Uncle Benjen and now the Hound. They’re worried about us, emotionally. Will we be gifted with the return of Sir Pounce next week? Let’s hope.

3. Cadavaliers

The Dubs have outscored the Cavs by 49 points in a little more than 5 quarters since Kerr destroyed this clipboard. I hope someone saved it. It’s going go to be quite the collectors’ item should Dubs win series.

Dig: Steph Curry has scored 11 and 18 points (14.5 ppg) in Games 1 and 2 of the NBA Finals. Klay Thompson has dropped 9 and 17 (13 ppg). The Splash Brothers have been the Ripple Brothers but Golden State has won Games 1 and 2 by 15 and 33 points, respectively.

If Cleveland, which now needs to win four of five from a team that has only lost back-to-back games once in their 101 game season, wants to climb back into this series, it’s time for LeBron and Kyrie to take over. They have both been muted for long stretches thus far.

Steph Curry and the Oracle security guards sing this dude’s jingle before every game. There’s nothing like a good rack of smoked ribs and a foot massage.

Finally, I doubt this Golden State team would be championship caliber if Mark Jackson, sitting courtside as he calls the games for ABC, were still coaching it. Two big differences between Dubs and Cavs thus far: 1) Dubs hit their threes and 2) Dubs play terrific help defense, Cavs don’t. The latter factor is an impact from second-year coach Stever Kerr, a selfless, ego-less dude whose personality has wonderfully infected his team.

4. She’s a Barber Who’s a Soldier

A black person from D.C. just won Trump’s former pageant. Life is funny. Let the birthers grit their teeth.

Deshauna Barber, a 26 year-old U.S. Army reserve officer and IT analyst, won Miss USA last night. Three African-American women made the final 10 spots, and I thought Miss Georgia and Miss Virginia were more beautiful (“on the outside,” of course), but Barber had solid answers in the Q&A round and it certainly didn’t hurt to be one of our troops (something she reminded the judges of every other sentence).

Miss Hawaii, a former college volleyball player, had quite the torso, and Miss South Dakota wore a gown that I can see Charlize Theron wearing in a future iteration of The Huntsman. Miss Missouri will be an ESPN sideline reporter some day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZyzh3BY7Q8

The Big Controversy occurred when judge Laura Brown asked Miss Hawaii, Chelsea Hardin, as part of the Q&A, if she’d be voting for Trump or Hillary. Personally, I loved the question simply because so many people hated it. It’s a direct question, and Hawaii was smart enough to not answer it directly. I thought she deserved to win simply for that (and her torso) and thought she would, too. But, alas for a lass….

5. Brock Turner

On a weekend when (a disturbed few) Baylor alums took out a full-page ad to THANK former school president Ken Starr, a former Stanford swimmer who was just sentenced to six months for raping a woman had this note written on his behalf requesting leniency. The author of the note, Dan Turner, did not understand why his son should receive such a harsh punishment for what he described as “20 minutes of action.”

Father’s Day is next Sunday, Dan, and now we all understand why you failed so badly.

A few facts from the case: Turner, then a freshman at Stanford, was caught having sex with an unconscious female behind a dumpster by a pair of Swedish grad students who were cycling past. They stopped, he fled, and they chased him down and caught him. That doesn’t sound like the default reaction for someone who is innocently having a tender moment with a woman he met at a party, does it?

Music 101

Uncontrollable Urge

People were so scared of Devo when they made their debut in 1979-80, but imagine turning the dial on your car radio and going directly from “The Pina Colada Song” to “Whipit.” You know? Devo was “just” a punk band wrapped up in a David Bowie daydream. Fun, energetic band. A lot like the B-52’s their contemporaries, without all the flamboyance.

Remote Patrol

The Maltese Falcon

6:15 p.m TCM

This film spawned at least 2 Bugs Bunny shorts…

In 2007 the American Film Institute (AFI) ranked this 1941 films as the 31st best movie of all time, so ahead of Despicable Me (I know, not fair, DM wasn’t even out yet). This is classic film noir starring Bogie as Detective Sam Spade (not the Alabama defensive back), Peter Lorre (top) and Mary Astor (below). If you haven’t seen it, why not spend 105 minutes improving your film knowledge?

Bogie threatening to give this dame (Astor) a little what-for. It’s 1941, and this still seems manly.

Astor changed her name. She’s not related to the Titanic Astors.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 80th to the man who penned “Lonesome Dove,” Larry McMurtry…..

….This is a classic. McMurtry is not to be confused with Cormac McCarthy, who wrote “All The Pretty Horses” and “Blood Meridian”

We’d also like to wish a Medium Happy 35th to McLovin…

Starting Five

Strength In Numbers

Dellavedova went Down Under on Iguodala

1. Ballin’

Golden State trailed briefly in the third quarter and only led 71-68 when Cleveland’s Matthew Dellavedova swiped at one ball on this fast break play and smashed another. The Dubs went on a 25-8 tear against the Cavs after that, mostly without the help of the Splash Brothers.

Game 1 goes to Golden State, 104-89. At one point late in the fourth quarter six Dubs were in double figures and none of them were named Curry or Thompson. That’s a bad omen for the Cavs, but it’s only one game.

2. Military Deaths

Kuss was the 27th Blue Angel pilot to suffer a fatal crash….

In Smyma, Tennessee, during a practice run for this weekend’s Great Tennessee Airshow, Marine captain and pilot Jeff Kuss, a member of the elite Blue Angels stunt team,  died when his plane crashed. According to figures on-line, there have been fewer than 270 Blue Angel pilots since the unit was formed 70 years ago, and now 27 have perished while flying. That’s a better than 10% on-the-job fatality rate.

Kuss, who was one of six pilots in the unit, was the first Blue Angel death in more than a decade (and you may have read that last weekend a Thunderbird pilot, the Air Force’s version of the Blue Angels, had to eject in Colorado after doing a flyover for the USAFA graduation, which he did, but that pilot survived.)

Meanwhile in Fort Hood, Texas, five Army soldiers have died and four are missing when their light tactical vehicle overturned during a training mission in the midst of severe flooding.

What’s up with Texas? I remember visiting five years ago when parts of the state had not had any rain in nearly a year. Houston has already surpassed its monthly rainfall quota for June (5.9 inches) by more than 1 1/2 inches. And it’s only June 3. And more rain is expected.

“Don’t mess with Texas?” Don’t worry, we won’t.

I’ve lived in south Texas in June. It’s horrendous. Worse than Phoenix in June. Throw in all that rain, creating more humidity, and then toss in that all that stagnant water creates more mosquitoes, plus you’ve got your water moccasins and rattlesnakes who have been dislodged from their homes and are even more ornery than usual, and it’s no place you want to be. I’d almost—almost—prefer to attend the Olympics in Rio.

3. Fight Fire With Water

Let’s just have a spelling bee!

Bad move by the Trump protesters in San Jose, Calif., yesterday. They got violent with Trump supporters before he spoke there. One woman was pelted with eggs. Remember in the Garden of Gethsemane when one of Jesus’s pals sliced off a Roman soldier’s ear in an attempt to defend the Messiah and J.C. was all like, “It’s cool, bro. We better than that?”

Well, that’s the lesson for anyone who reviles Trump or what he represents. Don’t behave like him. Meanwhile, what a terrific conspiracy theory if Trump planted those anti-Trump goons in the crowd. That would be genius and I’d have to say, “Well played, Tan Man.”

4. The Battle of 16-13

A few oddities about last night’s Mariners-Padres game, in which Seattle erased a 12-2 deficit in just two innings to win 16-13 at Petco Park: 1) It was the second time in the past three nights that the Mariners put up 16 runs versus the Padres (16-4 on Tuesday), 2) It was the final game of a strange four-game home-and-home series between the two, 3) Each side had an inning in which it sent 13 men to the plate, 4) Jon Jay (“The Federalist!”) of the Padres went 5 for 6 and is now 9 for 12 his past two games, which may explain why he’s their leadoff batter, and  5) during Seattle’s nine-run 7th inning, the Mariners hit SEVEN consecutive two-out singles. I’m sure I’ve never seen that before.

5. Where In The World?

Hint: A man-made passage has cut down the list of sightseers

Last week’s answer: The tiny republic, surrounded on all sides by Italy, of San Marino.

Music 101

Summer Breeze

As long as the kids from the Wednesday MH comments section are on the topic, why not post this hypnotic summer tune from Seals and Crofts that owned the airwaves in the summer of ’72? The song, released in August of that year, only climbed to No. 6 on the Billboard charts, but it is the quintessential early ’70s soft-rock harmony tune that plays as you’re driving home from the beach in the wood-paneled station wagon, begging your parents to stop at Carvel.

Remote Patrol

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

7 p.m. Miss USA Pageant, FOX

8 p.m. Game 2 of the NBA Finals, ABC

9 p.m. Game of Thrones, HBO

Last year’s Miss USA, from Oklahoma, Olivia Jordan

Wax your remote controls, cuz you’re gonna be doing some surfing on Sunday night….

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 75th to Charlie Watts….

Starting Five

It’s so Bernie to not have a front-row seat….

1. Bernie Man

I don’t really have much to say here, I just love that Bernie Sanders placed himself amidst the Warriors fans for Game 7 of the Western Conference finals. This s a time-capsule shot. Like the OKC Thurnder, who lost Game 7, it feels as if Bernie’s gonna come in third, but you still have to like his moxie.

2. Pen-demonium

The Pittsburgh Penguins go up 2-0 on the San Jose Sharks after scoring an overtime goal. Pens’ captain Sydney Crosby won a face-off about 2:30 into OT and then his teammates did exactly what he had instructed them to do moments earlier, as Kris Letang passed it to Conor Sheary, who struck the goal winner. The Yinzers are halfway to their second Stanley Cup of the Syd the Kid era, their first since 2009

3. We Are Most Likely Never, Ever, Ever Getting Back Together

I just put my contacts in and realized you’re not Ryan Gosling. Ewww!

Our Taylor has broken up with Calvin Harris, or so say the inter webs. Take the summer off, girlfriend. No reason to jump back in that pool right away.

4. “As Jimmy Fallon Says….”

This prank is terrific because it took some time to develop. The Lonely Island trio—Andy Samberg and his behind-the-camera buddies Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone—decided that for every press tour interview to promote Pop Star, they’d drop in Jimmy Fallon‘s name in ridiculous fashion. Then Samberg, appearing on The Tonight Show last night, played the mashup for him.

5. Of Irons and Irony

Finchem bumps Trump

While there was no animus behind the move, the PGA Tour is moving the World Golf Championships, which had been staged at Doral in Miami for more than 50 years, to Mexico City. Donald Trump owns Doral, though he obviously has not for all 50 years.

PGA commissioner Tim Finchem explained that the move for March of 2017 has nothing to do with presidential politics, but simply that the Tour was unable to secure sponsorships for the event at Doral in time. “From a golf standpoint, we have no issues with Donald Trump,” said Finchem. “From a political standpoint, we are neutral. The PGA Tour has never been involved or cares to be involved in presidential politics. I had an involvement in presidential politics, but that was over 30 years ago, and this is not a political decision.”

So, yes, the PGA Tour is now outsourcing fog tournaments away from Trump-owned properties. That Tim Finchem, he’s a “sleaze.” He has “no talent.”

Music 101

Come Sail Away

As long as Jann Wenner breathes, Styx will never be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And perhaps they don’t deserve to be (“Domi Arigato, Mr. Roboto“). But in the late Seventies, as music was turning to disco and punk, they flourished as arena pr0g-rockers while putting out the kind of songs that kids who owned lava lamps could cozy up to. This is as close as an American song of that time gets to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” For those Phoenicians reading: the closing synthesizer movement on this 1977 song that went to No. 8 on the Billboard charts was Channel 12 “Action News” (Kent Dana and Linda Alvarez)  theme song in the late Seventies

Remote Patrol

NBA Finals: Game 1

ABC 9 p.m.

This is the moment we all remember from the 1980 Finals (even though LA won), but maybe Dr. J’s lone three-pointer was more historic?

Bombs away! Cleveland is MAKING 14.4 threes per game in the playoffs, while Golden State is draining 12.5. In 1980, the first year of the three-pointer in the NBA, the six-game NBA Finals between the Lakers and Sixers featured a total of 20 three-pointers ATTEMPTED and only one made: by Julius Erving, Dr. J., of the Sixers. L.A .went 0-4, and Philly 1-16. If that’s not a note on tonight’s broadcast, someone at ABC/ESPN isn’t doing their job very well.

by Katie McCollow*

It’s not her birthday, but it is her blog day

*Certified for freshness

“Full Moon, so soon, wishin’ every month of the year could be June…”

That’s Jimmy Buffett, friends, and those lyrics pop into my head (from the song “Clichés”, off the 1976 album Havana Daydreamin’) every June, have since tenth grade when I first became a Parrot Head.

My brother brought this home from college. I never looked back.

Some Parrot Heads spell it Parrothead, but I don’t. You hear me? I DO NOT. And yes, it’s silly to pick fights within the community because internal squabbles are so not what we’re about.

We didn’t come to fight

 Yes, I am a Parrot Head, and if you want to make something of it, go right ahead, I’m having too much fun to care. Is it true that even cosplay geeks think we’re lame? Maybe…but I can’t worry about that, because I’m too busy trying to balance a blow-up shark on my head.

You’re a Parrot Head??  Or  Parrothead…either way O…M…G…

Truthfully, I’m not an active member any more, I mean I haven’t actually been to a Buffett concert in years—mostly because when he comes to my town (which is seldom) he plays an indoor arena and that’s just wrong. And driving to a different state to watch him play outdoors is even wronger, at this point in my life.

I can’t

There was a time when I did that a lot, several times a summer, as a matter of fact. In the early years of our marriage, my husband and I planned our vacations around Buffett shows. Aaaaand, respectable and upstanding Medium Happy readers who care about things like voter fraud and the NBA finals, I did not consider the show a true success if I was not, at some point during the evening, escorted out by security.

Backing up just a smidge, I was a savvy and slippery stage-stormer in my day; if I didn’t actually make it onto the stage, I, at the very least, attempted to claw my way  to the front row and was usually successful.

By the time I was a full-tilt Parrot Head, it had become just as much about the challenge of outsmarting security as it was about getting a better view, for which I had not paid.

For sure I can get past him

I had a rep to protect; it was a matter of pride… strange, since I am now more than a little embarrassed to tell you, the last time I tried it and was intercepted by a beefy guard juuuust before launching myself off the shoulders of a stranger and onto the stage, I was not wearing pants.

Ahhh, life…my idea of a great night now is one where nothing on me hurts enough to need icing and the cat deigns to sit with me, but to quote Mr. Buffett  again, I’m still A Hula Girl at Heart.

Me on the inside…

It’s summer! Yaaaaaayyyyyy summer…and much as I hate to admit it, which is not at all, there are scads and scads of great summer songs.  What exactly makes a song a ‘summer song’?

Well, I don’t know if anyone’s ever come up with a hard and fast definition, but I think we can safely agree it’s a song that doesn’t have the word ‘Christmas’ in it or is about pot roast or sitting in a musty library.

Wait just a sec…what about “Love in the Library”, off Jimmy Buffett’s 1994 album Fruitcakes? 

That’s why he’s a genius, Buffett deniers!

OK—but no pot roast and no Christmas. That’s the criteria, sorry, The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band:

Not a summer song, but I’m feeling like we’ll circle back to it come fall

 Herewith is my list of favorite summer songs from each decade I’ve celebrated the season, and that are not from Jimmy Buffett (because that wouldn’t be a fair fight, and if you were to ask me what my five favorite Buffett songs are, I would just crumple in a heap of frustrated tears).

And don’t ask James Van Der Beek, either…..

And don’t ask James Van Der Beek either!

 The 70’s: “Band on the Run”

Hands down winner, not even close, from Paul McCartney and Wings in 1973.

This song immediately brings me back to being shoved in the way, way back of our family’s Vista Cruiser with my brothers Billy and Andy on what felt like the two-hour ride to the pool, me wearing the Winnie-the-Pooh swimsuit that for three summers, I donned the last day of school and didn’t peel off until September.

Can you see me back there?

I loved that bathing suit; Winnie-the-Pooh was a popular theme in my wardrobe—I also had a smock-style dress (no waist, barely cleared my backside) covered with Ernest Shepard’s illustrations that I wore on the first day of Kindergarten. It had a huge Peter-pan collar and a red bow and it was awesome.

Anyway, on the front of the swimsuit, Winnie-the-Pooh (the Disney Pooh, not Mr. Shepard’s version) was holding a big red balloon, and smaller, multi-colored balloons peppered the rest of it. It was made out of some weird fabric that wasn’t really ‘bathing suit’ material—it was kind of thick and stiff, didn’t have a lot of give.

Whichever version you prefer, neither will help you in the pool

 Maybe that’s just because I never took it off or washed it. By the third summer, the arm, neck and leg holes were so stretched out, it really only touched my body in the middle, plus it was way too small…but what finally spurred me to give it up was, I joined the swim team and showed up wearing it to the first practice.

All the other girls were in Speedos. One of them was quick to loudly point out that I looked like a dope, and I cried, and my mom took me to get a Speedo of my own.  It didn’t make me a better swimmer. Neither did daily practice (maybe because I spent most of them hiding in the locker room?) and I quit the team the next year.

Back to that interminable car ride! If my mom was driving, the windows would be down and a cyclone-like breeze would be tearing through the car, but if it was one of the older boys taking us, the ‘no windows down’ rule would be implemented in order to make that refreshing first dive into the pool all the more delicious.

The more sweaty and light-headed we were as we rolled around on that scratchy carpet back there, sans seat belts, the better…but no matter who was driving, “Band on the Run” came on at least twice on the way out and three times on the way home (or maybe I was just hallucinating).

The 80’s: “Vacation”

This was a tough one, kids, there were so many good songs to choose from, and I alllllmooooost had to go with a song from my angsty teenage years because I felt everything so very, very deeply. But when I looked deep inside myself, and by that I mean I ate a large hunk of cheese, I simply couldn’t justify choosing Don Henley’s “The Boys of Summer” over the Go Go’s classic 1982 call to arms.

Rabble Rousers

OK, maybe not a call to arms, but that’s what came out as I typed and John is an indulgent editor, so it can’t be helped.

SUCH A FUN SONG!!!

It came out when I was in 7^th grade, when the biggest problem I had was whether or not Michelle Manion’s cute older brother would be home if I went over to her house to jump on her trampoline. (Of course there wasn’t a net. Part of the fun was landing hard on the cement!)

The 90’s : “MMM Bop”

Hanson, 1997

Stop acting like you don’t love it. Just stop it or I will have to remind you what happens every time this song comes on during a wedding reception that you are at, or any other time for that matter.

You at that thing that one time when MMMBop came on….

You at that thing that one time when MMMBop came on

The Ought’s: “Sunshine and Summertime”

Faith Hill, 2005

At this point on our list, I’m a full-blown adult who pays taxes, has a bunch of kids of my own and reaches for sunscreen before I leave the house, and the whole idea of a summer song is more about invoking nostalgic feelings than anything else.

This song harkens back to those days when I rocked a pair of bun-hangin’ cut-offs and got thrown out of  Buffett concerts (oh, that’s right, I didn’t even bother with the cut-offs…).

That’s what I’m talmabout!!!

That’s what I’m talmbout!

The 2000Teens, specifically 2016, meaning this summer: “Can’t Stop The Feeling”

What was all that dumb crap I was saying about a summer song being something that made me think about who I used to be?

Uh, yeah, forget that noise because this song makes me dance, baby! I don’t know if you brought sexy back, JT, but you brought something back. I can’t stop the feeling, either.

Agreed, JT

AGREED, JT!

Here’s to summer, kids.

Editor’s Note: Love Katie’s choices. A few others: ’70s: “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty; ’80s: “Walkin’ On Sunshine,” by Katrina and the Waves; ’90’s: “Steal My Sunshine” by Len; ’00’s, “Crazy In Love” by Beyonce; ‘Teens, “Pompeii” by Bastille.