by John Walters

A Medium Happy 60th to Walter White himself, Bryan Cranston. We’re going to need one more strip of turkey bacon here to make this accurate.

And here’s our favorite Albuquerque-based entrepeneur in character….

I’ll call Saul when I’m good and ready…

Starting Five

Does this mean Peyton’s wife won’t be receiving any more supplements in the mail?

1. Buh Byes

Give him credit. “Omaha” even knew the right time to hang up his helmet. Peyton Manning retires as the NFL’s only five-time MVP and its all-time leader in Passing Yards (71,940) and Passing Touchdowns (539; Brady and Brees are tied in 3rd place at 428).

Medium Happy’s Completely Biased-While-Striving-To-Remain-Objective list of the NFL’s all-time top 10 Quarterbacks (no order of ranking): Manning, Brett Favre, John Elway, Roger Staubach, Fran Tarkenton, Dan Marino, Joe Montana, Tom Brady, Steve Young, Drew Brees.

Just missed cut: Tom Brady, Johnny Unitas, Troy Aikman, Warren Moon, Otto Graham, Ken Stabler, Terry Bradshaw.

Briefly brilliant supernovas: Randall Cunningham, Bert Jones, Joe Namath.

Most Likely To Eventually Break Into Top 10: Aaron Rodgers.

Quick note. When Manning was a high school senior, I traveled to Louisiana to do a piece on a guy that many in Sportsman’s Paradise considered to be the better prep QB in the state that year: Josh Booty. He initially chose baseball over football, then returned. But it just never happened for him.

Also buh-byes to….

Bud Collins, RIP. Or, as CNN.com used as a hed on Saturday, “Flamboyant Sport Reporter Dies.” We salute the leader of the Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants. who passed at 86 on Friday.

Few people seemed to enjoy every day of their lives, and greet every person they met with a smile, than Bud Collins. A genuinely beloved guy.

Nancy Reagan, RIP, at age 94. Credit the Gipper’s bride with introducing “Just Say No” to the lexicon.

Pat Conroy, RIP, at age 70. Author of The Lords of Discipline, The Great Santini and The Prince of Tides. All great books, and The Great Santini is arguably Robert Duvall’s best performance, sports fans.

Bull Meacham: Unforgettable character and a poor loser in father-son driveway hoops games.

Bill Cubit, one year interim coach at Illinois, is shown the door on the new athletic director’s first day on the job. I was hoping Kiffin would replace him (“IlLaneois”) but it looks as if Lovie Smith will return to terrorize the Land of Lincoln with his coaching acumen.

@RayTomlinson, RIP. Who was he? The inventor of email. Really. Tomlinson passed into the “Deleted” file at the age of 74. Tomlinson was an American computer scientist from Amsterdam, N.Y., who graduated from MIT.

2. A Final Four-gone Conclusion?

Not only are the Huskies No. 1 in both Scoring Offense (88 ppg) and Scoring Defense (48 ppg), but they’ve nearly doubled up their opponents.

The top four teams in women’s college basketball—Connecticut, Notre Dame, South Carolina and Baylor—are a combined 125-3. The Huskies are undefeated. The Irish and Gamecocks’ only loss is to UConn. The Lady Bears are the lone outlier, having lost by 7 at Oklahoma State (21-9). If at least three of these teams don’t make it to Indianapolis, I’ll be very, very surprised.

3. Pharoah, American

If you missed this bit by Jay Pharoah on Saturday Night Live, he impersonates Katt Williams, Kevin Hart, Dave Chapelle, Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Tracy Morgan, Chris Tucker, Hannibal Burress and Bernie Mac in about a two-minute span. Virtuoso performance. You gotsta wonder why Jay doesn’t garner more air time on SNL.

4. My Len Bias

Len has double-doubles in each of his last eight games, including a 31 and 15 game on Friday night——and he’s only 22.

I didn’t know what to think when the Phoenix Suns drafted 7’1″ Alex Len three years ago, a Ukrainian who spent one year in college at the University of Maryland (or maybe I thought, “Big white stiff?”). But then I watched a few of his games on TV when I was home in Arizona for Christmas break in 2014, his second season.

What jumped out at me: NBA physique, not too muscular, not too thin; long arms; excellent footwork; steady demeanor; good shot. A Ukrainian Tim Duncan, although not to that level of superiority. But in the same vein.

Late in his third season, Len, who is just 22, is finally putting up the numbers to match that scouting report. He had 31 points and 15 boards in Friday night’s Suns win at Orlando, and 19 and 16 in Sunday night’s win at Memphis. Yes, the Suns of Anarchy won two in a row. Yes, they dd so on the road.

Rookie Devin Booker is a keeper. So is Len (who is only averaging 8.4 ppg and 7 rpg on season, and I haven’t seen the Suns play enough to know why). We’ll see where Eric Bledsoe fits in when he returns next season. Thrilled that Markieff Morris is gone. Oh, and the Suns have THREE first-round picks next June. Owner Robert Sarver still did a horrible job this season with how he managed Morris, but there are bright spots ahead for a team that is named for the brightest spot in the galaxy.

5. The Diceman Cometh*

Carnavale and Clay: Shades of the ‘Sister Christian’ scene from “Boogie Nights”

*The judges will also accept “Buck Rogers in the 1970s” and “My brother is sleeping with my wife. OHHHHH!” 

Finally caught the pilot episode of Vinyl on HBO. Some really nice touches in it: 1) The reason you are hearing “C’mon, Feel The Noize” over the speakers in the offices of American Century records in 1973 (Wasn’t that a 1984 hit for Quiet Riot?) is because it was originally a 1973 hit for the band Slade (mentioned earlier in the scene). 2) The pilot goes out of its way to pay homage to the African-American influence on the genesis of rock (as well as prehistoric days of hip hop) and it also plays a huge role in how our man Pete Finestra got his start. 3) Peter Grant, the manager of Led Zeppelin, was an imposing physical beast. The actor got his temperament down, but they needed someone nearly twice his size. 5) Finally, let’s give a hand to Andrew Dice Clay as sleazy radio station magnate Buck Rogers. He’s only in two scenes but he kills them.  Kills. Honestly, he was the best thing in the entire 2-hour pilot. If you haven’t given it a chance, it’s worth it. Especially the Diceman scenes.

Music 101

Pop Muzik

The year was 1979 and New Wave was no more than a swell. The Cars and Blondie were starting to turn people’s heads, but then a few one-hit wonders crashed on the beach to help us forget disco and arena rock. The band M released this in the latter half of 1979 and it peaked at No. 1 in early November in the U.S. while spending 27 weeks at No. 1 in Canada. That’s Robin Scott on vocals. This and “Video Killed The Radio Star” are early, early era New Wave staples.

Remote Patrol

Better Call Saul

10 p.m. AMC

Santa Fe, the Plaza

As a former resident of Santa Fe, I’m really hoping that Jimmy McGill, Esq., finds a way to settle down and enjoy the posole at Cafe Pasqual’s. Or go hot tubbing with Kim Wexler at 10,000 Waves. A man can dream. Something that occurred to me this week: Will Gus Fring and Los Pollos Hermanos soon be making their way into Jimmy’s world? Remember, it was Jimmy/Saul who introduced Walter White to Gus.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 50th to a favorite Sun, Kevin Johnson. KJ Is now the mayor of Sacramento.

Starting Five

A Medium Happy 26th to Draymond Green. I called him a Top 20 pick in 2011, and a few people told me I was nuts. The Dubs need to go 18-4 the rest of the way to break Chicago’s record. Still have 4 games left vs. OKC and SAS.

1. 55-5

The Dubs’ record is now a classic TV phone number prefix. Golden State won its 44th consecutive home game last night (121-106 over OKC), tying the Chicago Bulls’ (Jordan era, post-baseball career) for the all-time record. They’ll break it on Monday against Orlando.

Time-capsule play came late in the contest: Andrew Bogut deflects a pass in the front court and  Steph Curry chases it down to the sideline, free-throw line extended. Steph runs down the ball, passes it over his head and behind his back to Shaun Livingston, who is running up court. Shaun tries to pass it to his left to Klay Thompson, but the pass is deflected near midcourt. Shaun chases that down, passes to Draymond Green, who himself is racing up court. Green takes pass in full stride, takes two dribbles, passes to an open Klay Thompson for dunk.

Everything I just described transpired in six seconds. You can watch it here (go to 2:55)

2. Jesse’s Girl

Palmer was a solid witness. He may have a future on camera.

Testimony in the Erin Andrews civil suit is expected to conclude today. Yesterday the jury heard testimony from Jesse Palmer, which you can listen to here. Earlier this week Michael Peskind, a dope who is an executive for West End Hotel partners, actually was out to dinner at the Margot Cafe in Nashville with friends and, only one day after he had taken the stand to testify, allegedly pulled out his phone and showed his dinner companions the video.

A bartender at the restaurant ratted out Peskind, whose little stunt might just wind up costing his company $75 million. That’s a pretty expensive download, sir.

3. Handemonium*

Did Trump win the debate hands down?

*The judges will also accept “Game Of Inches” and “Stump Speech” (Thanks to the tweeps who supplied those)

The last GOP debate was a figurative bleep-swinging contest, and last night’s was a literal one. The Donald: “Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Rubio] referred to my hands — ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

And all I was thinking was, It’s too damn bad that this had to be the night Ben Carson chose to stop appearing in debates. How funny would it have been if he had just cleared his throat at the moment (cue Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles: “It’s twue! It’s twue!”)

New Donald theme song should be borrowed from Bruce: “Trumps like us, baby, we were born to run….

Donald Trump’s d-bag son standing next to the carcass of an elephant. Given the mascot of the GOP, this is, as someone on Twitter noted, an eerily prescient metaphor.

4. You’ll Get Nothing And Like It

If the Academy didn’t always have its head up its arse about comedies, Ted Knight would have gotten an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of Judge Smails

Our friends at The Big Lead put out a Top 10 Comedy Films (of “All Time,” of course; everything in the internet age is ranked on an “all-time” basis, which usually can be translated as “as far back as 1980”) list yesterday.  Here was their “Groupthink” (all the TBL writers submitted 15 films) list of top comedies, ranked here in order: Anchorman, The Big Lebowski, Coming To America, Dumb and Dumber, Animal House, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Blazing Saddles, Old School, Airplane!, Annie Hall.

Caddyshack, Groundhog Day, What About Bob? and Kingpin. Is Bill Murray the King of Comedy?

There are actually four pre-1980 films on the list, which is better than I expected. I don’t think anyone at TBL is over 40 years old, and the age bias here shows (just as my nearly-50 age bias probably shows on the list below). The staff at Medium Happy got together in wake of seeing this and compiled its own list, with the proviso that we did not attempt to rank them. But here’s our Top Ten, some of which overlap: Airplane!, Caddyshack, Blazing Saddles, Animal House, Annie Hall, Duck Soup, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, This Is Spinal Tap, Groundhog Day, The Hangover.

David St. Hubbins and the boys introduced the term “mockumentary.” This is pitch-perfect stuff.

Honorable Mentions: Anchorman, Young Frankenstein, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Dumb and Dumber, The Big Lebowski, Raising Arizona, The Sure Thing, Kingpin, Role Models, What About Bob?, Pitch Perfect.

Most Overrated Comedy: Ghostbusters.

Feel free to flay me in the Comments section.

5. Utter Lunarcy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dmJdixbHCk

So we have this friend. Let’s call him Sorp. He’s a Stanford grad and a quasi-practicing attorney. He has two engineering patents even though he was not an engineering major. He’s kind of intelligent.

Now, I’ll let you decide whether he leans toward genius or insanity, but he has written a book, Moonfraud (also the title of my upcoming book about the Peyton Manning case), declaring that the Apollo 11 lunar landing was a hoax. I’ve posted his YouTube video above, which briefly and perhaps not quite clearly lays out his argument. You’re probably smarter about astrophysics than we are, so if you want to dissect his argument and/or disavow it, please go ahead. We’re all just looking for truth here.

Music 101

Rapper’s Delight

Is that a musical genre I hear being born? In 1979 The Sugarhill Gang out of Englewood, N.J., released this 14-plus minute atomic bomb that changed the entire vector of popular music. Nobody had ever head anything like this before (Blondie’s “Rapture” [rap-ture, get it?] would not be released for another year. If you read up on the history, Blondie actually had a lot to do with this song, and hip-hop, being launched (so did the band Chic and its song “Good Times,” by the way). Anyway, this was the first hip hop single to chart (it peaked at No. 36) and it was the band’s only hit single. According to Wikipedia, this song was recorded in one take.

Remote Patrol

Saturday

Tottenham at Arsenal

7:40 a.m. NBC Sports Net

Harry Kane (above) of Tottenham is the EPL’s third-leading scorer, while Arsenal’s Mesut Ozil leads the Premiership in assists.

You get three points for a win, one for a draw in soccer. Tottenham is in second place in the English Premier League with 54 points, or just three behind surprising upstart Leicester City (57). Arsenal is in third place with 51 points. The Gunners (Arsenal) would love to pull even with Hotspur (Tottenham) in what is known as the North London derby. Both clubs lost on Wednesday.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 34th to Mrs. Timberlake. Ely, Minn., native. Great town.

STARTING FIVE

McClendon was not wearing a seat belt

Wreck on the Highway

On Tuesday the U.S. Justice Dept. indicted Chesapeake Energy co-founder and Oklahoma City Thunder part-owner Aubrey McClendon. On Wednesday morning McClendon drove his vehicle into this support wall at full speed. There were no skid marks.

McClendon was 56. He was due to turn himself in at 11 a.m  yesterday morning. He was sort of the godfather of fracking. Here’s The New York Times story...

2. Chesapeake Bay-watch

The company, based in Oklahoma City, was founded in 1989.

The equity analyst department here at Medium Happy has been foolishly avidly watching the stock at McClendon’s company, Chesapeake Energy (CHK) for months now. While the stock has plummeted from a high in the past year of $16.98 to a low last month of $1.50, the wild part that our MH analysts have noted is the consistency of its 10% or more swings in price over the past couple of months. To wit…

Dec. 4-8: $4.85 to $4.05, a 16% drop in just three trading days.

Dec 8-10: $4.05 to $4.67, a 15% jump.

Dec. 10-15: $4.67 to $3.75, a 20% dip.

Dec. 15 to Jan 5: $3.75 to $5.09, a 36% jump.

Jan 5 to Jan. 19: $5.09 to $2.95, a 42% dip.

Jan 19 to Jan. 22: $2.95 to $4.16, a 41% jump.

Jan. 22 to Jan. 25: $4.15 to $2.95, a 29% dip.

Jan. 25 to Feb. 3: $2.95 to $3.65, a 24% jump.

Feb. 3 to Feb. 12: $3.65 to $1.56, a 57% decline.

Feb. 12 to yesterday: $1.56 to $3.75, a 140% jump.

In the best of all possible worlds—and it never is in trading—if you had invested $10,000 in CHK on December 8, buying at the dips and selling at the peaks, that $10K would now be worth….$65,625. That is, again in the best of all possible worlds, more than a 600% return in less than three months.

So the question becomes, is the yo-yo party over at CHK? Or should you keep watching for peaks and valleys (note: due to shortage of time, I omitted at least as many more times when the stock had fluctuated just over 10% over the course of a day or two)?

UPDATE: CHK is up 15% at the open today from yesterday’s close.

3. Gimme Mitt!?!

You kind of get the feeling that Mitt was sitting in a bathtub next to his wife, who was sitting in her own bathtub, and they were both watching a sunset, when he got the itch to do something about the Drumpfication of the GOP race.

Does anyone remember Gilda Radner as punk rocker Candy Slice in the very early years of Saturday Night Live performing her punk anthem “Gimme Mick?” “Gimme Mick, Gimme Mick, baby’s hair, bulging eyes, lips so thick/Are you woman, are you man, I’m your biggest funked-up fan/So rock me, and roll me, ’til I’m sick…”

Mitt Romney, it was thought, might announced today that he’s throwing his gel into the presidential race, but it now appears that he’s going to come out with harsh criticisms of Donald, who has decided to preemptively counterattack. This is a serious WASP battle, kids.

4. Remember the Celtics

The San Antonio Spurs have a 29-0 record at home.

The Golden State Warriors are 25-0 at home.

No NBA team has ever gone 41-0 at home for a season. The closest to do so were the 1985-85 Boston Celtics (a gleam just appeared in Bill Simmons’ eye: the Celtics won their last NBA championship of the Bird-McHale-Parish era and Larry Legend was the league MVP), who went 40-1 in the Boston Garden that season.

Peak Celtics

The only team to defeat them? The Portland Trail Blazers, who won 121-103 on Friday, December 6. Seven Blazers scored in double figures, including 13 points from Mychal Thompson, the father of current Golden State starter Klay Thompson.

Related: I love basketball-reference.com

5. “I Shouted Out, ‘Who Killed the Kennedys?’, When After All, It Was You and Me”

We may deserve even worse than Trump, to be honest.

Very, very few people in the media or in public life with a voice seem in favor of Donald Trump. Almost daily, someone comes out publicly to warn us that we are headed toward Trumpmageddon. And yet he is leading by a large margin in the GOP polls. What’s happening?

Here’s Drew Magary of GQ to discuss.

To take it a step further, I don’t believe that Trump is the disease (if in fact, you are against him) but rather the symptom. This is an American culture that ravenously consumes The Kardashians and The Bachelor and is posting selfies or vines of bros getting sucker-punched. We have become, incrementally and increasingly, a crass and coarse and isolated society. Trump’s “Make America Hate Again” campaign is only working because it actually does appeal to a large cross-section of Americans whose mantra in life is “I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now.”

You can’t eat three donuts a day and claim to be in top shape. You can’t ingest what we do every day in terms of culture and society and claim to be enlightened. Donald Trump is what we deserve (and to be clear, I don’t much like anyone else in this race, either). It’s just a very short walk from a tramp stamp to a Trump stump (speech).

Music 101

Winning

The band is Santana and the lead guitarist is the legendary Carlos Santana, but the vocalist on this 1981 hit was Alex Ligertwood, a Scot. The tune reached No. 17 on the Billboard charts and was a favorite for network sports producers who had to do into packages for games or the Olympics.

Remote Patrol

GOP Debate 

9 p.m. FOX News Channel

Mitt won’t be on stage….or will he?

Is it too late for Mitt Romney to take Ben Carson’s place? Oprah? Bloomberg? I doubt we’ll drumpf the hysterics and histrionics of last week’s “I Know You Are, But What Am I?” fest, but we may just have to tune in to find out.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 35th to Bryce Dallas Howard, who will remain stunningly lovely for as long as she doesn’t follow her dad’s MPB fate. If you see her start wearing U.S. Navy craft baseball caps, it’s game over.

Starting Five Two

If Donald Drumpf can galvanize a voting base, imagine what Oprah could do….

1. Run, Oprah, Run

Never held public office? Check.

Television star? Check.

Billionaire? Check (No. 569 on this list)

Charismatic? Check.

And unlike the guy who cornered Super Tuesday, Oprah has opened a successful school and a magazine that has not folded. Unlike Donald, she’s an entirely self-made billionaire. Entirely. She even has her own network.

I’m firmly convinced that Oprah Winfrey would make a better president than Donald Drumpf, and I promise you that if she does run, I will vote for her. If she can inspire a flash mob on a Chicago street to work in unison like this…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpPKLz3UZu0

…imagine what she could do as the leader of the free world. Besides, if she wins, you get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car….

2. Daily Harrumph: Is Erin Andrews Erin Brockovich?

What are we actually talking about here?

As Twitter hammers home daily, there are certain topics that people have a difficult time discussing dispassionately. Racism, of course. And sexual harassment. And so, not unlike the situation with Concerned Students 1950, the Erin Andrews liability trial—she is seeking $75 million from her convicted stalker and West End Hotel Partners—brings out the all-or-nothing truthers.

It’s not enough to be outwardly (and inwardly) against racism. The only way you get a pass from the Concerned Students folk is if you accede to every one of their claims and demands, and agree with them on every single point they make, no matter how outrageous or illogical they may be (Poop Swastika Syndrome). They are bullies parading as activists.

Likewise, it’s not enough to condemn the jerk who robbed Andrews of her privacy, not enough to suggest that his 2 1/2 year sentence was too light, not even enough to support her right to take this to trial (even if you think the $75 million figure is a little bonkers). No, you have to believe every last claim Andrews makes because, you know she’s a victim (and if you don’t, you’re a victim shamer) and she cried on the stand, and a pretty girl crying on the stand drumpfs everything.

Wrong.

The issue that I introduced on Twitter on Monday night and the only relevant issue that I am discussing here is whether Andrews’ interpretation of events between her and ESPN is accurate. That’s it. She testified on Monday, and I quote, “My bosses at ESPN told me, ‘Before you go back on-air for college football, we need you to give us a sit-down interview.’ That was the only way I was going to be allowed back.”

The inference that many a person, and a few mouth-watering, ESPN-loathing sports blogs made was that ESPN issued Andrews an ultimatum.  That it forced her against her will to address this incident on television, otherwise she would not be allowed back on the air. Further, there is the implication that Andrews may have not agreed at first to this condition but was issued an either/or demand.

And if that’s the case, then Andrews has every right to publicize ESPN’s callous behavior toward her.

On Tuesday, the WWL fired back, “Developments in the case have been interpreted by some to mean that ESPN was unsupportive of Erin in the aftermath of her ordeal, Nothing could be further from the truth. We have been and continue to be supportive of Erin.”

Further, an ESPN source told AdWeek that there was never an ESPN ultimatum that Andrews either do an interview or not return to air.

Isn’t there a chance that Andrews is not lying—and that ESPN is not lying, either—but that perhaps her interpretation of how things went down seven years ago is not quite accurate? Consider that ESPN, in her words, “highly recommended” that Andrews do the interview on GMA, and why wouldn’t they? It’s a Disney property. Why would they want her to go on CNN or Today? However, when she suggested Oprah instead, they never offered resistance. They were fine with doing what, in a terrible situation and ordeal for her, would make her least uncomfortable.

A few more things:

–First, can the “As a father…” folks who want to preach to me or anyone else on this please  step to the side? Your ability to have interlocked bodies with a female at some point in your adult life does not give you moral authority here or anywhere else. You are a special person….to your child. Unless you are a bad father, in which case you’re a worse person than if you had never fertilized an egg in the first place. Your paternity has no role in this discussion. Sorry.

–Second, Erin Andrews is no longer a victim here. She is a plaintiff. She was a victim in the criminal trial, and justice prevailed. I’m sure Erin doesn’t want to walk around every day of her life being thought of as a victim, and so you can’t just slap that tag on her every time it works to your or her advantage. She brought this trial to court, and she has every right to do so, but this is a civil trial and she is rightly recognized here as the plaintiff. If you want to accuse me or someone else of “plaintiff shaming,” go ahead.

–Third, let’s remember that her attorney is attempting to win a case and a large, large sum of money. This anecdote with ESPN did not just arise out of the blue. She knew that her lawyer would introduce it; this was part of the strategy. And the anecdote is barely relevant to the evil committed by Andrews’ stalker (yes, I know his name, I’m just choosing not to use it) or the negligence of the Marriott hotel. The anecdote is only introduced to make Andrews appear to be a more sympathetic figure to the jury and to that end making ESPN the bad guy only illustrates further how this ordeal victimized her.

–Fourth, why am I making a big deal out of this? Because this situation illustrates what happens when lazy, one-sided journalism is committed (yet again; Hello, Deadspin) and when readers allow emotions to overwhelm their objectivity. I’m not saying ESPN did not issue the ultimatum. I’m wondering why everyone instantly accepted the idea that they did based on her testimony and Deadspin’s heavily slanted story. Newsflash: Deadspin loathes ESPN.

I bash ESPN a lot, but I try to make it about the issue at hand as opposed to what uniform I’m wearing. Common sense tells me that ESPN probably suggested that going on the air and discussing this story was the best way for Andrews to own it, as opposed to letting the sports blogs and TMZs of the world endlessly blather and speculate about it and make it an even more hyped tale. I could be wrong. But that is where common sense leads me.

–Fifth, why didn’t ESPN just come right out and say that Andrews misled the jury and/or misspoke the other day, if that is what happened? Because there is no upside for ESPN to do so. First of all, they are not the defendants here. Second, to do so would only make them look in the eyes of the “As a father…” crowd as being sexist and/or callous. Why pile on a woman who has suffered enough? So instead they issued this read-between-the-lines statement, which was the equivalent to a southerner saying, “Bless your heart.”

Ubiquitous….until he isn’t.

–Finally, and again it amuses me, The Mouth of the South, Clay Travis, the self-described world’s foremost expert on 1) all things legal 2) all things college football 3) all things PC bro 4) all things involving hot women involved with either 1, 2 or 3, and a man who is unbelievably industrious in discussing hot-button issues either via Twitter, a Periscope show or in his column, AAAAAAAAAND a person who lives in Nashville and attended Vanderbilt Law School, has had absolutely not one word to say about this trial. Not a peep. Even Clay has a sacred cow. Amazing.

(Update: I should add here that I am a fan of Clay’s. I admire his work ethic, his fearlessness in presenting his viewpoint, his connection to his legion of fans, and his entrepreneurial spirit. I probably agree with him more often than most people do. I’m just pointing out here that even he must take a play off once in awhile. If this were any other woman at most any other network, he’d be all in on it.)

p.s. And my friends at The Big Lead have had nothing to say about what I just wrote, because that site is a little cozy with Fox (Andrews’ and Travis’ employer) itself these days. Everyone wants a nationally syndicated radio show, I guess.

Music 101

I Got A Name

Guitarist/songwriter Jim Croce was the Italian-American John Denver (or vice-versa). In the late Sixties and early Seventies he wrote some classic tunes, two of which rose to No. 1 on the Billboard charts. Like Denver, Croce was killed in a plane crash. He died in September of 1973, far too young at the age of 30. This song was released one day later. Considering how his life was cruelly cut short, I couldn’t put “Time In A Bottle” (one of his No. 1’s) or “Photographs and Memories” here without it getting a little dusty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcqauC49Xmc

Remote Patrol

Oregon at UCLA

9 p.m. ESPN2

We know, but isn’t the resemblance uncanny?

The Ducks (23-6) are in first place in the Pac-12, the “conference of champions.” The Bruins (15-14) desperately need a big win, and they’re not going  dancing anyway unless they win the conference tourney next week. Doesn’t matter. I’m just here for the Bill Walton word salad. If you hate him, stay away. I happen to love the free association musings.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 72nd to Roger Daltrey. Goodbye, Sister Disco!

Starting Five

We just thought it would be nice for once if John Kasich was the first name mentioned in a GOP discussion.

1. Democrazy

Tonight is Super Tuesday—don’t worry, Coldplay is not performing the halftime show—and Donald Trump will win. Why? Because there is a large segment of the population whose voice is not being expressed in the newspapers, and on the cable news talk shows, or even in universities. Yes, I’m talking about the (wait for it) disenfranchised white middle- and/or lower-class voter.

And then there are even more people, although some of them belong to the class above, who just think that the presidential race is one more reality show, that there is no difference between Trump sending Jeb Bush home and Ben sending Olivia home. Those folks, too, like Trump because, let’s face it, he’s the most entertaining candidate.

Mike Lupica, on CBS This Morning: “Donald Trump has mastered the show. He has figured out that this is one great, big reality show.” Exactly.

Here’s John Oliver’s incredible, brilliant, thoroughly researched 21 minute and 53-second takedown of “Donald Drumpf” the other night. If you are a discerning voter and like Trump, this should seriously make you wonder why you’d vote for the man. But I imagine it will have a negligible effect on your opinion. Because voting for Trump isn’t about what you know, it’s about how you feel.

2. “Whatever Happened to Showmanship?”

Symbolism Alert: That’s the crux of it, Jimmy. You ARE a Lone Star.

First of all, let’s credit Vince Gilligan for slipping in a wonderful pun. As the elder lady descends the staircase on that motorized chair, the camera holds on her as she says, “I’m ready for my closeup, Mr. McGill.” It’s a call back to a classic film line from another dowager, Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard, who intones, “I’m ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille.”

Beautiful. Also, just realizing that “McGill” itself may be an homage to Mr. Gilligan.

Anyway, another solid episode of Better Call Saul. The tectonic plates are shifting, rubbing against one another, and soon the pressure will release. Jimmy has a terrific and respectable job, one that allows him to cuddle and watch submarine films with Kim Wexler, who is one of the good guys and a true soul mate, but we all know this can’t last. He’s Slippin’ Jimmy. His mind is too fertile, his love of the con, be it innocent or illegal, is too sincere (and he’s just too darn good at it) for him to ever be satisfied by playing by the rules of the bar association.

Jimmy’s a free spirit. He has to fly. Start his own blog, perhaps. Who knows? But his days at Davis & Main are numbered. Ironic, this, that a lawyer practicing in Santa Fe, the town that hails itself as “The City Different,” is soon to be banished because he cannot conform.

Sepinwall’s review is here….

3. Clay and Erin

Andrews took the stand in her civil trial yesterday. She is seeking $75 million in damages from her assailant and from the Marriott hotel.

We’ll go at the Erin Andrews civil trial in deeper detail tomorrow ( I appear to have kicked a hornet’s nest last night with my suggestion that just because a female is a victim of sexual harassment, which is of course, heinous, does not mean that I have to unequivocally buy and endorse everything she does and says; I was waiting for one of my antagonists on Twitter to shout, “We need some muscle over here!”).

Anyway, I just wanted to point out that a lurid trial involving an uber babe, college football, sports, nudity and Nashville is taking place in the very hometown of highly oustpoken, anything-goes pundit Clay Travis this week, and yet he has not had one word to say about it.

You’re not having a nightmare. This is Clay on his often entertaining Periscope show. He hasn’t said a peep about the EA trial yet.

Erin Andrews works for FOX Sports. Clay Travis works for FOX Sports. I admire, honestly, Clay’s willingness to be outspoken on a plethora of third-rail topics, and I agree with him sometimes, but for the record: Even he has to bow down to the corporate gig sometimes. No way he’s going to trash EA on his Periscope show or on Outclick The Coverage. We all have to serve a massuh sometimes.

4 Oral History: AOL FanHouse

Mariotti was The Mouth That Roared. Jay took a lot of crap, and brought much of it on himself, but the one time I ever dealt with him in person, he was terrific and without ego.

I don’t want to tell my fellow colleagues how to do their jobs—wait, of course I do. I’m the condescending, pedantic jerk who revels in that type of thing.

Okay, so yesterday a sports site called The Comeback, which was spun off from Awful Announcing, posted an exhaustive, thoroughly researched, five-part “Oral History of AOL FanHouse Sports,” and while it had many informative aspects, as your Journalism 101 prof, allow me to offer a few suggestions:

A) Don’t just go to the people who are your friends. There are far too many quotes in here from Will Leitch and Spencer Hall, one of whom never toiled at the site and the other who left midway through. Yes, both were important figures in the early days of sports blogging (pardon the juxtaposition of the terms “important figures” and “sports blogging”), but they merited no more than one outsider’s perspective quote apiece.

B) Don’t just go to “the winners.” The best part of the piece were Jay Mariotti’s quotes, because he’s a guy (one of many) who saw a few worms in that apple. In short, to wrap up A and B, as a writer/reporter, don’t just go to what’s comfortable. Seek out sources whom you don’t know and seek out people who were either pariahs or lower-rung staffers.

This is Lily Aldridge. She never worked for AOL FanHouse. It seemed like something that needed to be pointed out.

C) Now, I worked at AOL FanHouse and my impression, to use a sports analogy, was that we had a fantastic team and an absolutely horrible and malevolent front office. AOL is a very shady company, human resources-wise. Very. Shady. On the other hand, I think of all the fantastic people I worked with, none of whom were quoted once: Editors Mike Harris (now at SI.com) and Barry Werner (one of my all-time favorite people in the biz, now at FOX Sports), both of whom fall on more grenades for writers weekly than many editors do their entire careers; writers Brett McMurphy, David Whitley, Clay Travis and Lisa Olson. I like them all and better yet, they’re great people to have on your team. Maybe The Comeback tried and was unable to reach all of them, or maybe (wisely) they chose not to speak. I don’t know. But that piece was too heavy on corporate muckety-mucks talking (I admire Scott Ridge; get me off the record on Jeff Price and I can tell you a hair-raising tale or two).

D) Before you publish a piece, actively look for people within your own site who have critiques (this is one of the aspects of Barry’s personality that makes him an invaluable co-worker, although one that can piss off a corporate tool, like the ones who worked above he and I at NBCSports.com) with the piece. There’s nothing factually wrong with this piece, but I think it could have been a less corporate, more “Loose Balls” kind of read. You need to find people within who won’t just cheerlead a story. Maybe if SB Nation had done that two weeks ago, or had or listened to a guy like Barry on its staff, it wouldn’t have made such a monumental, colossal long-form error.

Finally, as a reader (and this goes for all of you feeling the vapors after reading Deadspin’s Erin Andrews’ item, too), please, please, PLEASE, think for yourselves. Think about the potential motives behind every person’s actions, including both the person who is the subject of the story and the person writing/telling it. Keep in mind that the chances are great that the person coming closest to  telling the truth is the one who has the least to gain by his or her version being accepted as the truth. Be a discerning consumer of journalism and information. Please. Or go vote for Trump, you know?

5. “You say ‘Pitino’, I Say ‘Lurid Sex Scandal'”

It was not this type of double-team

Remember that little sex scandal that motivated Louisville to declare its own basketball team ineligible for the 2016 postseason (Dickie V., ESPN’s ever-objective arbiter of virtue, thought that the Cardinals should just pay a fine–To whom, exactly?–and be allowed to be a part of March Madness)? The latest straw on the camel’s back that is Rick Pitino’s after-hours career in the Bluegrass State?

Well, now his son, Richard, is dealing with a sex scandal of his own at the University of Minnesota. Seems that two of his Golden Gophers double-teamed someone, the problem being that it was not an opposing Big Ten player and that no one was wearing undergarments. And then he allegedly posted a photo of the act on social media. College students these days. Pitino suspended the three players involved—Nate Mason, Kevin Dorsey and Dupree McBrayer—for Sunday’s game at Illinois, but they will be back for tomorrow night’s home game against Wisconsin.

Minnesota lost at Wisconsin, 84-71, while suiting up just six scholarship players.

Reserves

Between his deskalogue and now skits such as “Melisandre at a Baby Shower” and the one below, “Reasonable Max,” Seth Meyers, former head writer at Saturday Night Live, has turned Late Show into a a weeknight SNL. Only better. Nothing wrong with that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p04QUDzBEaQ

Music 101

I Confess

In 1982 The English Beat came along and demonstrated that you could play New Wave without a synchronizer. I loved their mild ska beat (or whatever you call it). This song got turned up in the powder-blue Granada with the cigarette burns in the seat (because we bought it used from Hertz or Avis). Anyway, it was a bigger deal on MTV in the early Eighties than it was on the charts, but all the cool kids were watching the MTV and the tail was was wagging the dog back then.

Remote Patrol

Super Tuesday

Multiple Networks 8 p.m.

Come witness a preview of the apocalypse with the rest of your fellow citizens.