Starting Five

Netanyahu Serious

1. Netanyahu Neutrality

Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu arrives in Washington, D.C., drops a Game of Thrones reference, and demonstrates that a head of state is able to earn a rousing cheer when speaking to the 114th U.S. Congress.

POTUS did not attend, as Netanyahu is up for election in a few weeks and POTUS did not want it to seem as if the administration was backing one candidate over another.

A few things I never knew as I looked into this: Speaker of the House John Boehner was honorably discharged from military service in 1968 (kind of a bad time to be serving in the U.S. Army) after eight weeks due to a bad back. Second, Boehner took seven years to graduate from Xavier University, partly because he was working his way through college. He is one of 11 children and, according to Wikipedia, his parents slept on a pull-out couch. And Boehner began working at his family’s bar at age eight.

2. 30 Rock and (Heads) Roll

Who knew ’30 Rock’ was a documentary?

My favorite behind-the-scenes TV star, producer Michael Weisman, is going to have to wake up a lot earlier now that he has agreed to play Mr. Wolf to MSNBC’s Morning Joe. Meanwhile, there’s a rumor circulating that the head of NBC’s news division, Deborah “Bitch is the New Black” Turness (that’s a compliment, btw), may be on her way out, apparently for decisively handling the situations of Jamie Horowitz and Brian Williams. Wherefore art thou, Jack Donaghy?

3. Robert Flores: Temecula

Young, Femcee

Who knew he had it in him? SportsCenter anchor Robert Flores is out-swagging Swaggy P. himself, Nick Young. To recap:

Saturday: Flores takes an unprovoked shot at Young’s girlfriend, Iggy Azalea, on SportsCenter, which a few people who care about sports happen to watch. In Flores’ defense, it has been a looooooooooooooooooong winter in New England, and having lived through one central Connecticut winter (barely), I know that it makes people a little mean.

Monday a.m.: Swaggy P. fires back via social media with a veiled threat.

Monday: Flores comes back with an even harder overhead smash, alluding to Swaggy P.’s shooting percentage this season by saying that even if Young did take a shot at him, “there’s a 70% chance he’d miss.” Degree of burn? Sick. (Fact-checker update: more like a 64% chance he’d miss).

Today: Where is the Swaggy P. Army? When will someone invite Flores to settle this in Temecula? And do you think any Bristol-bound anchor would refuse a trip to southern California right about now, even if a beating accompanied it? Or this could be a fitting undercard to the next Ronda Rousey 15 seconds-or-less bout.

4. I Love Brent

“Yes, I do and…no. I don’t.” Brent (R) is a national treasure.

A few years ago I spent an absolutely frigid and wonderful Monday in Lawrence, Kans., with the legendary Brent Musburger. One of the things Brent told me: “Don’t gamble, John.”

One of the things I love about Brent is that he doesn’t take his own advice. It sounds as if Brent, who called last night’s Oklahoma at Iowa State contest, had the Sooners plus-six. The Hawkeyes Cyclones Ames’ed high and won 77-70. “You’re looking live” handled the disappointment well, particularly when you consider that Oklahoma led 48-28 early in the second half.

5. You Know Nothing, John Snow W.

Petty to Postman: “Don’t come around here no more.”

Who knew “Things I Didn’t Know” would be such a bounteous bevy of brass tacks? Only everyone who knows me. In the immortal words of Simon LeBon, “Please. Please. Tell me now. Is there something I should know?”

Two items today, each of them courtesy of my pal Sorp, who informed me last night and BLEW MY MIND!

1) Rocker Tom Petty appeared in the 1997 Kevin Costner film The Postman (WHAT!?!?). Guess I never saw it –and, honestly, back then he could’ve been mistaken for Dwight Yoakam, who did appear in Sling Blade around the same time.

I’m a sergeant. My son, Captain Kirk, outranks me.

2. Actor Chris Pine (Star Trek) is the son of Robert Pine, who played the sergeant (Sgt. Joe Getraer) on CHiPs (that’s how you spell it, kiddos). Moreover, Pine’s mother is actress Gwynne Gilford, who made a few appearances on CHiPs as Sgt. Getraer’s wife. Is your mind BLOWN yet?

Remote Patrol

Kentucky at Georgia

ESPN 9 p.m.

Towns has Calipari’s back in more ways than one

Cats versus Dawgs. Kentucky would move to 30-0 with a victory in Athens, and are the unranked but 19-9 Bulldogs the team to take down the likes of Willie Cauley-Stein, Karl-Anthony Towns and any other three-named assassins on John Calipari’s roster? Probably not. But last month the Felines played a pair of SEC road games versus decent competition, Florida and LSU, in which they trailed after halftime. That’s probably the best any fan of an upset should hope for this evening.

Starting Five 

Seriously, Susie B? “Ya boy” misses both free throws with the Cavs trailing by a point in the dying seconds of overtime??? Let’s pump the brakes on the “LeBron for God’s Replacement” talk for a week or two, okay?

The wink was a nice touch, Dakota

1. Say What U Wanna Say, SNL

Perhaps the cast at Saturday Night Live, and executive producer Lorne Michaels, took Louis C.K.’s words to heart about how the funnier bits are the taped bits. In their return episode after the 40th anniversary super-vaganza, the two best bits were pre-recorded: this Sara Bareilles-inspired salute to candor and this parody of the Toyota ad in which the dad drops off his daughter, who is joining the army, at the airport.

The tweak here: she’s joining ISIS.

Did anyone else catch the irony of SNL doing a “Say What You Wanna Say” skit and then being excoriated by media the following day for doing just that?

Was the latter sketch funny? If you laughed, it was funny… to you. And that’s all that matters. If you did not, it wasn’t funny. Not to you.

My take: First, the acting by both Taran Killam and Dakota Johnson is terrific. That’s the first reason it works. Second, isn’t the fact that you live in a country where this parody can air on national TV and people can laugh at it what separates us from so many other countries? I mean, it’s not like we gun down dissidents a block away from our capitol.

Sure, The Producers was funny. But ISIS, well THAT is some serious shiznit.

Less than 25 years after the Nazis were stopped from mass-murdering the Jews, Mel Brooks wrote and produced a hit Broadway show that was about a fictitious Broadway musical whose theme was Adolf Hitler and the Nazis. This particular number stands out.

A plethora of news sites or cable channels produced “SNL ISIS Sketch Sparks Controversy” pieces. Good. Take a bow, SNL. You’re doing your job well. And every news anchor who bowed their head in that faux somber and disapproving tone? How many of you laughed when you watched it the first time? But you won’t “say what you wanna say” because you like your salaries far too much. We get it.

2. Curt vs The Cowards

Former MLB pitcher Curt Schilling might have exercised better judgment than to praise (i.e., draw attention to) his teenage daughter on Twitter. That’s what the dinner table is for, after all.

Still, he is correct to wonder aloud why people send out tweets such as those mentioned in Schilling’s blog entry.

Take a bow, Adam Nagel, alias “The Sports Guru” (@Nagels_Bagels) at Brookdale Community College.

And aren’t you proud, “Hollywood” alias @primetime227 , who is a student at Montclair State?

(Why do they always have to be from New Jersey?)

Both Twitter accounts have since been deleted. But the screen grabs that Curt grabbed and put on his blog will live forever. The internet is a two-way information superhighway, after all.

3. These Are Days…

Swift, 25, and Kloss, 22, out-Abercrombie & Fitch-ing every A&F ad campaign ever

…you’ll remember (p.s. That entire 10,000 Maniacs album is wildly underrated).

It’s good to be in your early twenties, as I recall (well, it was so long ago I barely remember, but I believe Rolling Rocks at the Raccoon Lodge were $3 apiece). Anyway…

BFFs Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss grace the cover of this month’s Vogue, an issue that runs 583 pages (ad sales guys will be happy hour’ing heavily). Inside you’ll find a good story on their welationship, and a quote from mutual pal Lena Dunham hailing Swift as “the Betty Crocker of friendships.”

Meanwhile, there may be only one cure for my current malady.

4. Father-Son Fast Break

Tyler’s dad will be working his fourth NCAA tournament this month. Tyler, a red-shirt junior, is still in search of his first.

On Saturday afternoon Tyler Harvey of Eastern Washington scored 27 points to maintain his status as the nation’s leading scorer in Division I at 22.8 points per game. But the game was not televised nationally. In fact, the closest the Eagles have come to big time all season was a two-point victory at Indiana in November in which they appeared on ESPN News and Tyler scored 27.

Frank works games in Tyler’s area, but he will never work one of Tyler’s games…

On Saturday night Tyler’s dad, Frank Harvey, did appear on ESPN2 because he was refereeing the BYU-Gonzaga game in which the Cougars ended the Zags’ 41-game home win streak. The leading scorer in the nation’s dad has gotten more on-court air time this season than he has.

My story on the two of them in Newsweek. Thanks for the kind words.

5. Things I Don’t Know (Cont.)

Andy Spade, David’s bro, and his wife, Kate.

Remember last Friday when I revealed that I had no idea that Pete Campbell had married Rory Gilmore, or that Adam Levine had married a Namibian? Well, here’s what I also learned that night that I never knew…

I bet only 1% of the country knows what a porte-cochere is. And I can tell you which 1%…

The designer Kate Spade is David Spade’s sister-in-law (“Get! Out!”)….what a porte-cochere is….that there are creatures called crane flies that look just like mosquitoes but do not bite.

Definitely, “Things JW Does Not Know” could become a daily feature here.

Remote Patrol

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King

8 p.m. –> 6 a.m.  TCM

“Sneaky little Hobbitses.”

The first film was too expository, the second was phenomenal, and the third was okay up until the 45-minute Care Bears-style denouement. Where would this franchise have been without Andy Serkis’ Smeagol? He was “the Precious.”