Monthly Archives: September 2012

AN INCONVENIENT RUTH: CALL MEME, AYBE

by John Walters | 1 Comment

A reintroduction to our friend An Inconvenient Ruth (AIR) who, when not serving as the media flak for Santa Claus (that’s really her job), enjoys providing us with words about words. Our latest breath of fresh AIR…


I threw a wish in the well,

Don’t ask me, I‘ll never tell

I looked to you as it fell,

And now you’re in my way

 

Meme-itation is the sincerest form of flattery. Carly Rae Jepsen recorded “Call Me Maybe” last spring and the tune immediately went viral. While Jepsen’s video has been viewed nearly 250 million times, the inspired mashup done by the Harvard baseball team has been viewed more than 16 million times (more people have seen the Crimson lip-synch in a van than will ever see them on a diamond). Numerous parodies — not of Jepsen’s video, but of Harvard’s interpretation of Jepsen’s video — followed. Even the U.S. Olympic swim team performed one, which has been viewed more than eight million times.

We’ve become a full-fledged nation of memeickers. (A Ruthemism).

 If you’re wondering when and where the word meme came from, it’s only been in play for 36 years, as coined by Richard Dawkins in his book “The Selfish Gene” (1976). Dawkins describes meme as “an evolutionary way to explain the spread of ideas and cultural phenomena.” Yet while Dawkins can take credit for coining the term, the concept of mimicking has truly been around since the beginning of mankind. We prefer to think that the ancient Greeks had a lot to do with it.

Meme was aptly derived from mmema, or “something imitated”, from the ancient Greek.

 The Grecian goddess Mnemosyne was the personification of memory. As legend had it, Mnemosyne slept with Zeus for nine consecutive nights before conceiving the nine Muses. (Editor’s Note: She would never have gotten pregnant if she had just used a mnemonic device). 

To this day, a muse is recognized as someone who inspires others to do their best. Muses inspire art, and art inspires memes.

 Leonardo Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa is possibly the most ubiquitous example. Da Vinci’s nemesis, the vibrant and youthful Michaelangelo, created David, a colossal triumph of sculpture which has since been de-memed. Edvard Munch painted The Scream in 1893, unwittingly unleashing, more than a century later, a Scream meme, a bounty of meme-itations. Or how about Grant Wood’s American Gothic?

Will this appear in a meme museum?

Fast forward to today and the most viral memes have become active verbs. The internet is virtually saturated in Tebowing (see, I just Rickrolled you) and Eastwooding. And if your meme is truly worth its weight in virality, it will demand its own Twitter feed, Facebook presence and YouTube channel. Who knows? It might even become, as former (and deceased) Academy Award host Bob Hope did in the 2011 Oscars, a hologram.

Thanks for the meme-ories.

–AIR 

 

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING! SEPT. 10

by John Walters | Leave a comment

Starting Five

1. Of course the team that scored the fewest points in the NFL preseason scored the most (48) in Week One. J-E-T-S, Jets! Jets! Jets!

2. “AAPL hits all-time high.” Again. Apple has become the Sergey Bubka of record-breaking stocks, no?

3. Wimbledon. Olympic gold medal. U.S. Open. It is the Summer of Serena.

Straight Outta Compton: Sportswoman of the Year, SI?

4. American males, faced with a Sunday evening devoid of Mad Men or Breaking Bad (or alliterative shows of any sort: We couldn’t find The Brady Bunch or Gossip Girl, either), tune in to Sunday Night Football and give it the highest rating for any prime-time NFL contest in 15 years.

5. Chicago’s public school teachers go on strike. Warm weather, 400,000 idle youths and the murder capital of the USA. What could possibly go wrong?

Reserves

Last week Houston lost its season opener and two days later offensive coordinator Mike Nesbitt resigned/was fired. This week? The Cougars still lost, 56-49 to La Tech, but rolled up 693 yards of total offense in a game that set four NCAA records (for two teams in one game): offensive plays (209), first downs (78), completed passes (87) and passes attempted without an interception (129).

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively tied the knot. Or was it Jason Bateman in Ryan Reynolds’ body?

They’re not… Just Friends

In his NFL debut, Cleveland Brown quarterback Brandon Weeden was sacked twice by the Philadelphia Eagles and once by Old Glory.

At about the time Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively were getting married, stories were appearing that Ryan Lochte had a “huge crush” on the bride.

One day shy of eleven years after 9/11, here is a stunning photo of One World Trade Center as it nears completion.

How did Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson get sideline passes for the Purdue-Notre Dame game? They told Fighting Irish SID Brian Hardin that they were the co-owners of an emerging maple syrup conglomerate. Works every time.

“Rule 72: No excuses. Play like a champion (today?)”

Today’s moment of irony is brought to you by the New York Port Authority.

After its overtime loss to Louisiana Monroe Doctrine, Arkansas suffers an historic fall, plummeting from 8th to unranked in the AP poll. When officers arrived on the scene to investigate, the Razorbacks contended that they were riding alone and that they simply lost control of the game.

 

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING! THE WEAKENED EDITION, 9/8-9/9

by John Walters | Leave a comment

Starting Five

1. Earlier this week John L. Smith declared Chapter 7 Bankruptcy (no one ever talks about the first six chapters, do they?). Yesterday Arkansas’ interim coach watched as his No. 8 Hogs squandered a 21-point lead — quarterback Tyler Wilson missed the second half due to an “above the shoulders injury” (psst: concussion) –and lost in overtime to Louisiana-Monroe.

2. Welcome to the O.C. SEC, bitch! Florida and Georgia travel to the SEC’s most recently annexed outposts, College Station, Tex., and Columbia, Mo., respectively, and spoil the SEC debuts of Texas A&M and Mizzou. Old man football? No, Grown Man Football.

3. The Pac-10 (for just for one weekend, Larry Scott prefers you not recall his own annexing) goes 9-1, including UCLA’s 36-30 upset of No. 16 Nebraska and Arizona’s 59-38 lassoin’ of No. 18 Oklahoma State.

4. Tommy Boy! Notre Dame quarterback Tommy Rees enters the game –and the 2012 season — for the first time with 2:12 remaining and leads the Irish on a game-winning drive while also saving Callahan Auto Parts. That’s gonna leave a mark!

Which one of these two should start Notre Dame’s next game at QB?

5. Kris Medlen: all he does is win. The Atlanta Braves win for the 19th consecutive time when Medlen starts, as he beats the New York Mess 11-3 and ups his record to 8-1.

 

The Reserves

Mother Nature smiles on Savannah State, as a 56-minute weather delay persuades officials to call the game at Florida State with the score 55-0 midway through the  third quarter. You might say that God intervened where grown men should have.

Kick a game-winning field goal, earn $3,550 a year! That is essentially what happened to Edgar Castaneda of FCS school Sacramento State. The walk-on kicker, a transfer student in his first season there, booted a game-winning 30-yard field goal to upset Colorado and afterward was awarded a full-ride scholarship.

And we thought the Brooklyn Cyclones were a minor-league baseball team…

Louisiana-Monroe has now beaten both Alabama and Arkansas in the past six seasons, which is something that SEC West member Mississippi cannot say.

Seal accuses soon-to-be ex-wife Heidi Klum of aggravated Schwarzeneggering . Isn’t that crazy? (Crazy!?!)

As Heidi hit the catwalk this week, Seal is said to be vacationing in Hawaii and penning a Dracula musical.

 

Penn State kicker Sam Ficken misses four field goals, including the potential game-winner from 42 yards out as time expired, and the Nittany Lions lose at Virginia, 17-16. Former Penn State three-point specialist Anthony Fera, who transferred to Texas last month because he could, missed three field goals all of last season. You have to feel for Ficken, and for the Penn State defense, which forced four turnovers that led to just three points.

The New York Yankees fell into a first-place tie with the Baltimore Orioles after a blown call — a clearly missed call — cost them the chance to tie the game in the top of the 9th. The Orioles have two words (no, not those two words) in reply: “Jeffrey Maier.” 

One week ago Oklahoma State beat Savannah State, 84-0, and North Carolina ripped Elon, 62-0. The Cowboys and Tar Heels both lost yesterday to unranked teams (Arizona and Wake Forest, respectively). Something tells us Ray Ratto and Jon Wilner (among others) will have neither ranked in their Top 25 in this week’s AP poll.

There are few spy novels as intriguing — not to mention horrific — as this real-life French Alps massacre story.

USC quarterback Matt Barkley, who celebrated his 22nd birthday by tossing six touchdown passes in a 42-29 defeat of Syracuse, will be the first one to tell you that wideouts Marqise Lee and Robert Woods make his job easy. Each one is spectacular. The latter’s Twitter handle is @HeismanWoods and we have absolutely no problem with that.

Woods is the goods

 

CPR was performed on a player, Tulane’s Devon Walker, on the field in the midst of yesterday’s game. Walker suffered a broken neck while making a tackle on the final play of the first half. Injuries, even devastating ones, are part of football, of course. The circumstances of the game, though, are this: Tulsa, facing 4th-and-2, was up 35-3 with :02 remaining in the first half and had the ball on the Green Wave 33. Tulsa called timeout. Then Tulane called timeout. Then the Golden Hurricane threw the pass play on which Walker was injured.

CFB Game Day: Read Option

by John Walters | Leave a comment

–The most prolific passer in college football — after one week– takes the stage at USC-Syracuse today, and his name is NOT Matt Barkley (it’s Ryan Nassib).

— Frequent Flier Miles Week as Army visits San Diego State, Duke heads out to Stanford, USC hits NYC to play ‘Cuse, and South Florida travels to Reno to play Nevada. That’s four triple-time zone contests.

— As a fan of Blade Runner, how can we not be thrilled to see Rutgers-Howard on the schedule?

— First Syracuse, now Vanderbilt. Northwestern won’t be sated until it plays every school with a solid journalism department in the country.

— Oklahoma State will have played two of its past three games in the state of Arizona after tonight. It’s the games in Iowa that give the Pokes the most trouble.

— Maryland trailed William & Mary — and was being shut out, 6-0 — until the fourth quarter last weekend and now the Terps are playing at Temple.  Does anyone outside SVP like The Edsalls in this one?

— Penn State at Virginia has a nice bucolic, collegial ring to it. The Nittany Lions would be better off playing in a conference more suited to its geographical location, methinks.

— No turnovers, and Savannah State can cover the 70.5 spread. We’ll Tallahas-see.

— Shoelace and Fitz will do fine in the Big House. The question is how well prepared will UM’s defense be for Air Force’s option attack. Wolverines will give Falcons Fitz, while the Falcons will give them fits.

“When Toussaint comes marching in…”

— Eastern Washington versus Washington State for the first time in 104 years. Cool.

— Does the SEC appreciate how much more of a grind it’s added to its plate with the addition of A&M and Mizzou? If not, check in with Mark Richt and Will Muschamp tomorrow.

— Arizona State will roll Illinois.

— South Carolina backup QB Dylan Thompson should see plenty of action today. Fans of CFB and West Village bars, take note: Thompson did not stumble out of the White Horse Tavern, collapse and expire decades ago.

Okay, we’re done here. My family contract limits me to a 350-word count before noon on Saturdays….

“NO PROSE” CFB WEEKEND PREVIEW

by John Walters | Leave a comment

Ten games, broken down as succinctly as possible…with thanks for the idea to our friend Sorp, an attorney who holds a couple of patents but not a patent attorney. Sorp recommends you buy his book, “Why You Should Not Go To Law School.” He also recommends that you not go to law school.

 

Miami (1-0) at No. 21 Kansas State (1-0)

Noon, FX

Tagline: Wildcats strike!

Spread: Wildcats minus-7

Studs: Miami RB Duke Johnson; Kansas State QB Collin Klein

NCAA Rankings: Canes, 99th in Total Defense (542 ypg); Cats, 7th in Rushing Offense (324 ypg)

Pathos: Wildcats won at Miami in third game of last season, 28-24, en route to 7-0 start.

Tailgate Trivia: From a W or L perspective, the Canes’ 2011 season was palindromic.

Air Force (1-0) at No. 19 Michigan (0-1)

3:30 p.m., ABC/ESPN2

Tagline: Go Blue meets Wild Blue Yonder

Spread: Wolverines minus-21

Studs: Air Force RB Cody Getz; UM safety Jordan Kovacs

NCAA Rankings: Falcons, 1st in Rushing Offense (484 ypg); Wolverines, 93rd in Rushing Defense (232 ypg)

Pathos: Appalachian State, Utah and Toledo have all won at the Big House in the past five seasons. Will the Wolverines still be licking their wounds from last weekend’s beating by Bama?

Tailgate Trivia: Air Force has a 19-game losing streak versus opponents ranked in the AP poll; Getz rushed for 218 yards and three TDs in his first start last week.

Purdue (1-0) at No. 22 Notre Dame (1-0)

3:30 p.m., NBC

Tagline: No Suspended Starting QBs

Spread: Fighting Irish minus-14

Studs: Boilermaker DT Kawann Short; Irish MLB Manti Te’o

NCAA Rankings: Purdue, last in turnovers (5); Notre Dame, T-4th in Turnover Margin (+3)

Pathos: Are the Irish really as good as the looked last weekend in Dublin? And just how long a leash does QB Everett Golson have if this game is close?

Tailgate Trivia: The Irish traveled 3,500 miles to play Navy, but will travel a total of 254 miles for their next six games.

Preying Manti

No. 24 Florida (1-0) at Texas A&M (0-0)

3:30 p.m., ESPN

Tagline: Sumlin wild

Spread: Even

Studs: Gators, Offensive bleepin’ coordinator Brent bleepin’ Pease; Aggies, RB Christine Michael

NCAA Rankings: Florida, 93rd in Passing Offense (145 ypg); A&M has yet to play.

Pathos: Welcome to the SEC, Aggies! Welcome to the Union, Gators (Florida has not played a regular-season game west of Baton Rouge or north of Lexington in 21 years).

Tailgate Trivia: Johnny Manziel will become the first freshman to start at quarterback in the season opener for the Aggies in 68 years.

Syracuse (0-1) vs. No. 2 USC (1-0)

3:30 p.m., Met Life Stadium, ABC/ESPN2

Tagline: Trojans take Manhattan (and East Rutherford)!

Spread: Trojans minus-26

Studs: Syracuse, QB Ryan Nassib; Trojans, Everybody (Okay, let’s go with WR Marqise Lee, LB Hayes Pullard, CB Nickell Robey)

NCAA Rankings: Orange, No. 1 in Passing Offense (470 ypg); Trojans, USC, No. 1 in Kickoff Returns (100 yards per…not that they’ll get many opportunities)

Pathos: Trojan QB Matt Barkley, the Heisman favorite, spends his 22nd birthday in the sports media capital of the country in preparation for his December return.

Tailgate Trivia: Syracuse has lost six straight.

Savannah State (0-1) at No. 6 Florida State (1-0)

6 p.m. ESPN3

Tagline: Little Big Horn never had a sequel

Spread: Seminoles minus-70.5 (yes, that’s correct)

Studs: Savannah State, head trainer Clint Brif; FSU WR/KR Rashad Greene, DE Bjoern Werner

NCAA Rankings: Tigers are last (in both FCS and FBS) in Scoring Defense (84 ppg); Noles, No. 1 in Sacks (6 pg)

Pathos: Say a prayer for the Tigers, who lost by 84 at Oklahoma State and for the second consecutive week find themselves on the wrong side of the largest point spread in college football history.

Tailgate Trivia: Savannah State will pocket $475,000 for this game. That may literally be blood money.

 

Washington (1-0) at No. 3 LSU (1-0)

7 p.m., ESPN

Tagline: Live Tigers at practice!

Spread: Tigers minus-24

Studs: U-Dub TE Austin Sefarian-Jenkins; LSU RBs trio of Kenny Hilliard, Alfred Blue and Michael Ford

NCAA Rankings: Huskies, 4th in Sacks ( 4 pg); Tigers, 10th in Rushing Offense (316 ypg).

Pathos: After a miserable opener, heralded Tiger DEs Barkevious Mingo and Sam Montgomery (no tackles last week) will look to put a whuppin’ on a U-Dub offense that  lost its starting running back for the season last week and will start three sophomores on the offensive line.

Tailgate Trivia: LSU is 28-0 in non-conference games under Les Miles.

No. 16 Nebraska (1-0) at UCLA (1-0)

7:30 p.m., Fox

Tagline: Traditions collide

Spread: Huskers minus-6

Studs: Husker QB Taylor Martinez; Bruin RB Johnathan Franklin

NCAA Rankings: Huskers, 3rd in Passing Efficiency (212.49); Bruins, 3rd in Total Offense (646 ypg)

Pathos: Jim Mora makes his home debut as Bruin head coach after an impressive win at Rice (not exactly a “Punting is winning” entrance), while Husker QB Taylor Martinez returns home to his native SoCal.

Tailgate Trivia: Ten different Huskers caught a pass against Southern Miss last Saturday. There have been entire seasons of Husker football without that many players recording a catch.

Different game, but familiar sight: Franklin leaving defenders behind

No. 6 Georgia (1-0) at Missouri (1-0)

7:45 p.m., ESPN2

Tagline: Show Me Old Man Football

Spread: Dawgs minus-2

Studs: Dawg QB Aaron Murray; Tiger WR Dorial Green-Beckham

NCAA Rankings: Georgia, 77th in Rushing Defense (199.0 ypg); Mizzou, No. 2 in Turnover Margin (+ 4 pg)

Pathos: Mizzou makes its SEC debut against the SEC East champion Bulldogs.

Tailgate Trivia: The two schools last met in the 1960 Orange Bowl, with the Dawgs winning 14-0.

Come back, Shayne! “Okay.”

Duke (1-0) at No. 25 Stanford (1-0)

10:30 p.m.

Tagline: The GMAT Bowl

Spread: Cardinal minus-15

Studs: Blue Devil WR Connor Vernon; Cardinal LB Shayne Skov, who returns after a year of injury and a one-game suspension.

NCAA Rankings: Blue Devils, 100th in Pass Defense (348 ypg); Cardinal, 100th in Passing Offense (125 ypg)

Pathos: The Cardinal looked shaky in a three-point win versus San Jose State last Saturday, but luck (if not Luck) was on their side. The return of Skov will provide renewed vigor.

Tailgate Trivia: Duke’s last road win versus a ranked opponent took place 41 years ago… at Stanford.