IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Mooch Ado About Nothing?*

*The judges give props to the NY Post for “Mooch Madness”

I’ll admit, I miss the halcyon days (i.e., less than a week ago) when Anthony Scaramucci’s greatest verbal crime was praising Donald Trump for, as “sinking three-foot putts.”

 

Anyway, this story by Ryan Lizza in The New Yorker is hot! hot! hot! The Mooch phoned Lizza after the writer revealed that Trump would be dining with Mooch, Melania, Sean Hannity and Fox News executive director Bill Shine in the White House. What follows is incredible as an enraged Mooch threatens to fire his entire communications staff as an effort to inveigle Lizza to reveal his source(s):

—“Who leaked that to you? What I’m going to do is, I will eliminate everyone in the comms team and we’ll start over.”

— “I ask these guys not to leak anything and they can’t help themselves. You’re an American citizen, this is a major catastrophe for the American country. So I’m asking you as an American patriot to give me a sense of who leaked it.”

—“Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac. (Channeling Priebus’ thoughts) : ‘Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.’ ”

—“I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock. I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President.”

–“What I want to do is I want to fucking kill all the leakers and I want to get the President’s agenda on track so we can succeed for the American people.”

Then, near the end, he veered into Obnoxious Referencing The Self In Third Person territory:

“O.K., The Mooch showed up a week ago. This is going to get cleaned up very shortly, O.K.? Because I nailed these guys. I’ve got digital fingerprints on everything they’ve done through the F.B.I. and the fucking Department of Justice.”

 

What’s it all mean? Well, this dominated the news cycle last night and this morning as opposed to the fact that the U.S. Senate DEFEATED Trump’s proposal to repeal Obamacare. That kinda matters more.

Meanwhile, Peggy Noonan, who worked in the Reagan White House, referred to Trump as “a drama queen” and as “Woody Allen without the humor” in a Wall Street Journal op-ed this morning.

2. A Tip Jar Guide To Economics

In the past week in NYC, a bartender I know well worked two private parties. One was for a private equity firm, almost all of them (I assume) college educated and Caucasian. The other was for a construction company, where the guests were mostly carpenters and plumbers, mostly immigrants or darker-skinned.

Both parties were open bar.

In three hours the private equity firm bros ordered almost exclusively a brand of beer that is named after a far east Long Island town, an aspirational getaway for Manhattan’s well-heeled. In three hours the blue-collar men ordered almost nothing but Coronas or Red Stripe.

The bartender won’t say exactly what the private equity bros tipped in three hours, only to say that the hard-hat types tipped that total within the first 10 minutes and that by party’s end had tipped more than 10 times as much.

Likely good tippers

It goes without saying, but the hard-hat dudes were fun, happy and generally more convivial. By far. They were on the bartender’s plane. Oh, and yeah, they actually make things (buildings) whereas the former mostly make more money for those who already have a surfeit of it.

Here’s a nickel, squirt. Now get lost.

So what does all this mean in terms of economics? When the wealthiest talk about “trickle-down” economics, you should roll your eyes. Giving those corporate titans more money does not mean they’ll create more jobs or do more for the middle class. They’ll continue to do more for themselves. The only people who truly care about the middle class are other middle class folks.

3. Mr. McCain Goes Back To Washington*

*The judges will also accept “McCain Mutiny”

Despite staying up far past his bedtime, it was Senator John McCain who after midnight cast the deciding vote against the Skinny Repeal. McCain, 80, who was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer, recently, returned to the Capitol to cast his vote against Donald Trump’s Repeal-and-Replace-with-Gimme-Some-Time-To-Think-On-It mandate. The bill was defeated 51-49 thanks to McCain, Susan Collins (Maine)and Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) on the GOP side and 48 Democratic senators on the other.

This was McCain’s maverick moment. Asked why he voted the way he did afterward, McCain simply said, “Because I thought it was the right thing to do.” As opposed to the Right thing to do.

4. The King in the North

Because he’s Canadian? Also, because he’s too dreamy. It’s like here we are in King’s Landing being ruled by the Lannisters (a family whose main claim to power was wealth, even though most of it was a facade, as they were deep in debt to the Iron Bank of Braavos), while there’s a King in the North who’s a man of integrity, has great hair, and is the son of a former king. Wild, no?

5. An NFL Landmark Moment?

Our second consecutive item about a smart and grounded Canadian

Yesterday Baltimore Raven offensive lineman John Urshel, a Canadian and the son of a surgeon and an attorney, announced that he was retiring. Urshel is 26 years old. Urshel was scheduled to earn $690,000 this season.

Urshel graduated from Penn State in three years and with a 4.0 GPA. He is currently pursuing a doctorate in mathematics at MIT. He announced his retirement two days after The New York Times‘ piece about how 110 of 111 brains of former NFL players that were studied had CTE. In short, Urshel, a numbers whiz, did the math.

Music 101

Hang Me Up To Dry

Believe it or not, this song by American rock band Cold War Kids is already 10 years old. They reign from Long Beach, California, and played this song both on Letterman and Conan.

Remote Patrol

apocryphal (adj.)

being of questionable authenticity

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Kristin Beck did more than a dozen tours of duty with SEAL Team 6 and was deployed in the most dangerous parts of the globe

Trump’s Terrible Trans Action

Why did Donald Trump suddenly, via Twitter, announce a ban on transgenders in the military without advance notice to almost anyone (even his Secretary of Defense, James Mattis, who is on vacation, had all of one day’s notice)? My suspicion is because Steve Bannon, truly the worst person in The Worst Wing, told him to do so.

Why? The art of distraction. With Russia and Jeff Sessions and the venal Jared Kushner exploding around the Oval Office, this took the news off the president’s collusion with Russia for at least one cycle. It also only penalized a minority, something Trump’s base has no problem with him doing (until THEY become the minority; I hope I live to see that).

Above, that’s Kristin Beck, who as Chris Beck served with the Navy SEALs for 20 years, including deployments in Bosnia, Afghanistan and Iraq. She received both a Bronze Star for valor and a Purple Heart. Beck’s reaction to yesterday’s news: “Let’s meet face to face and you tell me I’m not worthy.”

That will never happen. The other side of the coin of being a bully, as all know, is being a coward. Also, the idea that a man who weaseled his way out of military service on four different occasions (painful bone spurs that never kept him from a single day of golf) would have the audacity to tell anyone that they’re not fit to serve is comical. Sad!

 

2. To Hell-sinki and Back

Swamp soccer

Swamp soccer. Wife carrying. Phone throwing. All in the same Nordic nation.

I love this story in The New York Times. Not only because someone identified a trend and reported on it, but because the writer, Andrew Keh, persuaded the editors to send him to Scandinavia to report on it (I’ll assume Keh is based in the USA and that he ventured overseas to report; it’s highly possible he did not; related: When I went to report on The Fogo Island Inn in Newfoundland for Newsweek, the deal was that the mag fronted me $500 and I paid the rest; the story cost me $1,000 out of my own pocket; hooray, journalism!).

Anyway, Keh’s story is fun and the layout is excellent. Great job, NYT.

3. Fireball

The Ohio State Fair (or is it, THE Ohio State Fair) began with a ride malfunction and one death yesterday in Columbus. A ride called The Fireball partially split up, throwing more than a dozen people in the air.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhH_tCzoGMQ

Two other riders are in critical condition.

4. More Rock, Less Talk

After Justin Bieber posted this photo of three Rocks on Instagram a couple days ago, it went viral. No idea when or where (or even if) it actually took place.

5. In Chandler, The Other Cleat Drops

Glory days, oh they’ll pass you by….

We’ve reported on Chandler (Ariz) Hamilton High School in the past: It’s barely 20 years old and has become a sports monolith (Cody Bellinger, among others, is an alum) in that time, with former Notre Dame football player Steve Belles leading the gridders to seven 5A state championships between 2003-2012 and a 53-game win streak as well.

Then, last academic year, a sexual assault scandal involving football players and three student victims (all male; these are hazing incidents). Belles has been reassigned. Now, word emerges that the families of the three victims are seeking a total of $20 million in damages.

Chandler police have recommended criminal charges be brought against Belles and principal Ken James for reportedly knowing of violent hazing incidents and taking no action to report them. Three football players have been charged, one as an adult.

Full disclosure: I have had 4 family members, all female, attend Hamilton. 

Reserves

Norm and Dave. Enjoy at your leisure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaXlQOzPHK8

Music 101

Feelin’ Satisfied

After releasing one of the greatest (and, at 17 million units, best-selling) debut albums of all time in 1976, Boston wisely named their sophomore effort Don’t Look Back. This album, released in 1978, did not quite live up to the overall quality of the first, but it still spawned three top-50 hits that garner radio play to this day. Boston is not in the R&R Hall of Fame; that’s outrageous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHU7EdyAYrg

Cleaner version above.

A Word, Please

agnostic (adj.)

Not only denoting a person who believes that the existence of God cannot be known, claiming neither faith nor disbelief, but also having a noncommittal attitude toward something

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Repeal And Replace Is Rebuked

On Tuesday afternoon the Senate voted narrowly to begin debate on provisions to overhaul the Affordable Care Act, but on Tuesday night the first provision the GOP suggested lost bigly, 43-57. It fell 17 votes shy of the minimum 60 it needed.

Two female Republicans (Susan Collins of Maine; Lisa Murkowski of Alaska) voted against the original proposal to overhaul ACA, making it 50-50, and leading VP Pence to break the tie. Then seven more GOP’ers joined them in the later vote.

 

Per usual, President Trump took the defeat with sanguine wisdom and a unique understanding of statesmanship.

2. Triple Play Todd

Frazier and Jeter in 1998

Yankee fans recall Todd Frazier as the Little Leaguer from Toms River, N.J., who led his team to the LLWS championship and then stood next to Derek Jeter for the national anthem.

Last week the Yankees traded for Frazier as a first base hedge, and last night he at last made his debut in pinstripes (he played a few games for the Bombers in road gray last week). After three straight singles failed to yield a run in the top of the third and with the game still scoreless, Frazier came to bat.

With family and friends in the stands, Frazier hit a sharp one bouncer just to the shortstop side of second base. Jose Peraza fielded it, stepped on second and threw to first for the double play. Matt Holliday scored from third. Didi Gregorius had held up briefly at second, and so he was caught in a pickle between second and third and ruled out.

A run-scoring triple play in Frazier’s maiden at-bat as a Yankee in the Bronx. Such a play last occurred in 2006. The Yanks won 4-2, their 4th win in five games.

By the way, that’s a fielder’s choice so no RBI for Frazier on that play. Also, Gregorius simply should have returned to 2nd ATER Peraza tagged second, since the force was no longer in effect. Finally, Yankee rookie starter Jordan Montgomery took a no-hitter into the sixth. If the Yanks had won 1-0 on a no-hitter with the only run coming off a triple-play, that would have been sick, no?

3. Science Crushes NFL, 110-1

Dr. Ann McKee, chief of neuropathology at the VA Boston Healthcare System and director of the CTE Center at Boston University, studied the brains of 111 NFL players (posthumously, of course) and found that 110 of them, or 99.1%, tested positive or chronic traumatic encephalothapy, or CTE.

Those are pretty poor odds, Mr. Goodell. Great report here by The New York Times.

In case you were wondering, and I was, too, the player who tested negative, his name was not released, in accordance with his family’s wishes.

4. Trump’s Trans “Pacific” Partnership

Basically, Donald Trump does not want The Unsullied to fight for him

Donald Trump’s visit to Youngstown, Ohio, must have revved up his inner red-state mentality, as today the White House announced that transgender people will no longer be allowed to serve in the military (sorry, Hitler, you’re out).

 

 

 

Look on the bright side: As soon as the war with North Korea starts, just begin binge-watching Transparent and dressing androgynously; it’s a lot less trouble than moving to Winnipeg.

 

The always witty Downtown Josh Brown with the best take of the morning….

5. Greyscale’s Anatomy

Finally watched second episode of Game Of Thrones. Thoughts:

–It’s easy to castigate Theon for his cowardice, but he lives to fight another day (assuming he can swim, which I do).

–I hope Samwell Tarly has a good malpractice insurance plan. And that Ser Jorah’s greyscale was not considered a pre-existing condition.

–Littlefinger is going to stop playing nice, isn’t he? You should have killed him in the crypt, Jon Snow.

–Arya could have at least left a tip.

–The Grey Worm sex scene will go down in TV history (I didn’t put quotes there, but you get where I was going).

–Nice to see Melisandre and Lumeria back.

–So you’re telling me a place called Dragonstone has a subterranean reserve of dragon glass?!? Incredible.

–“You’re a dragon. Be a dragon!” will be some D-I coach’s pregame speech come September.

Music 101

Someone To Watch Over Me

There’s a somebody I’m longing to see/I hope that he/Turns out to be/Someone to watch over me. Composition by George Gershwin, lyrics by Ira Gershwin, written in 1926. An American classic. If you were a fan of WKRP in Cincinnati (yes, please!), you’ll remember the episode in which Mother Carlson catches Dr. Johnny Fever smoking weed and exacts, for her silence, his promise to “Play Gershwin” during his a.m. rush hour show. He plays this song.

The two most famous, of many, artists to cover this song are Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra, but Amy Winehouse‘s timeless voice is what MH editors went with.

A Word, Please

Incorrigible (adj.)

Impervious to correction by punishment

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Starting Five

“I Did Not Have Collusion With That Russian”

There’s Jared Kushner, White House adviser and First In-Law, saying, “Let me be very clear: I did not collude with Russia nor do I know of anyone else in the campaign who did so.”

Mmmmmmmm-hmmmmmmm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHKgthu2mkA

Meanwhile, Kushner also released a statement yesterday that, as WaPo illustrates, was a textbook tossing under the bus of his own brother-in-law, Don Jr.

2. La-teen-a Lottery Winners

Meet Daniela Leon Ruz of Orlando, Florida. Earlier this week the 18 year-old won Florida’s   $500 A Week For Life lottery, and Ruz chose not to take the lump sum. That means she will earn an extra $26,000 a year the rest of her (hopefully…as long as she avoids the dreaded “Florida Man”) long life.

She’s not rich, but that will make life a little easier.

Meanwhile, earlier this month 19 year-old Rosa Dominguez was driving from Arizona to her home in California, stopped for gas, and purchased a scratch-off ticket. Dominguez won $555,000. A few days later Dominguez stopped at another gas station, bought another $5 scratch-off ticket, and won $100,000.

3. Rose, To This Occasion

Every NBA MVP between the years 2009-2016 now plays on one of two NBA teams, now that Derrick Rose (2011) has agreed to a one-year deal with the Cleveland Cavaliers. If he’s healthy, how much can Rose help LeBron James (2009, ’10, ’12, ’13) and the Cavs thwart the Golden State Warriors? Rose actually averaged 18 points per game in 64 outings with the Knicks last season and, in case you forgot, he is still only 28 years old. Stephen Curry (’15, ’16) is 29 and his teammate, Kevin Durant (’14) is a few weeks older than Rose as well.

Quick thought: Why does Rose only play for teams who are located near to I-80 exits? How long until Rose toils for the Jazz, for the Kings and ultimately, for the Warriors?

4. Wipe Privilege

In 1857 Joseph Gayetty (above) began marketing the first toilet paper in the United States. For 50 cents the consumer was able to purchase 500 sheets of medicated paper. Gayetty’s product was sorely needed, as during the Civil War, when it still was not in wide use, 8 of every 10 soldiers was afflicted with typhoid fever due to fecal contamination.

Seth Wheeler obtained the first patent for rolled toilet paper in 1871. It wasn’t until the early 20th century that toilet paper was any different, in terms of texture, than newspaper. Some people will tell you it’s still the same in terms of content.

5. How Do I Buy A Daytona Tortugas Jersey?

It takes a slow sports week such as this one (British Open, Tour de France just ended, while NFL camps just starting up) to remind me to peruse the Minor League Baseball standings. The worst baseball team in the minors? The Class A Advanced Daytona Tortugas, a Cubs affiliate, who are 4-26 (.133) this summer.

The most dominant team? El Toros de Tijuana of the AAA Mexican League, who are 67-28 (.705).

Music 101

Kids In America

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_GH6M7cUq4

Few songs are better examples of the advent of New Wave than this 1982 classic from Kim Wilde. For those of us in high school at the time, this was an anthem. The tune was written by Wilde’s brother, Ricky, and her father, Marty, a pre-Beatles British rock star.

A Word, Please

Riven (past participle of “rive,” which no one ever uses)

Split or torn apart violently

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Starting Five

The Jordan Rules

Unplayable Lie. Line of Sight. Temporary Immovable Object.

Jordan Spieth won The (British) Open with a little help from the rule book on the 13th hole on Sunday. It’s nice to know that even a three-time champion of majors occasionally has to strike a ball from the practice range in the midst of a round.

The shot off the tee landed here

For more on exactly what happened, look here.

2. Spice Racked

After six months and a trio of Melissa McCarthy impersonations on Saturday Night Live, White House director of communications Sean Spicer resigns. In his place comes New York finance guy Anthony Scaramucci, who looks like the heavy from every Eighties film based in New York City.

In his opening weekend on the job, Scaramucci, a.k.a. The Mooch, called President Trump “a tremendous athlete” and also gave him up as an anonymous source. Buckle up, kids.

3. Froome For More

Kenyan-born, South African-raised Brit Chris Froome won the Tour de France again. It was his fourth Tour victory, and only four men officially (five, if you count Lance) have now won more Tours than has Froome. Jacques Anquetil, Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault and Miguel Indurain all won five.

Froome, 32, won this year’s Tour without winning a single stage in the race. That has only happened before six times.

Of course, the most (only) popular cyclist in France the past three weeks was the Flying (Downhill) Nun.

4. Bad Cargo

Nine are dead in southern Texas after the refrigeration unit of a rig with humans inside went out. It might have been as many as three dozen dead if the alert Walmart employee who noticed the trailer hadn’t called police. Meanwhile in northern Switzerland, a chainsaw-wielding nut job attacked the citizens of Schaffhausen. So you get a chainsaw massacre and mass deaths in Texas all in one item.

5. Coming in September: The Vietnam War

Filmmaker Ken Burns, whose previous tours de force include The Civil War, Baseball, and The War (WWII), spent nearly 10 years putting together an 18-hour PBS documentary on (and called) The Vietnam War. It promises to be magnificent.

Premieres September 17 on PBS.

Music 101

I Can See Clearly Now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkwJ-g0iJ6w

Johnny Nash wrote, composed and recorded this classic with heavy reggae influences in 1972. It spent four weeks at No. 1 in the later part of that year.

A Word, Please

Sibilant (adj)

Characterized by a hissing sound (so the next time someone asks you to provide an example of onomatopoeia)