IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 5 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

https://twitter.com/JordanUhl/status/1182468483906527232?s=20

Dunk you very much. There’s four moments here where Liz nails it, and notice the comic timing. She waits for the cheering to subside before delivering the coup de grace, “…assuming you can find one.” Probably a set-up question, but still, beautiful.

Also, catching this late but well worth your 2-plus minutes if you have not seen it…

Starting Five

Clean, Beautiful Cole

A few things to know about Houston Astros starter Gerrit Cole, who stuck out 10 last night as the Blastros beat the Rays, 6-1, to advance to the ALCS:

–Since May 22 he is 18–0 in 24 starts.

–He has struck out at least 10 batters in every game for the past 11 games, a Major League record.

–Last night his streak of recording at least one strikeout in an inning reached 73 innings before finally ending. That’s the longest such streak since at least 1961—as far as Elias could trace back—and the next best mark is only 40 innings, by Pedro Martinez.

–Combined with his 15 strikeouts in Game 2 of the ALDS, the 6’4″ right-hander from the mean streets of Newport Beach, Calif., whiffed 25 batters in consecutive playoff games. Only one man has ever struck out more in consecutive postseason games: Bob Gibson (27) of the Cardinals in 1968.

Either Cole (20-5, led the league in strikeouts [326] and ERA [2.50] and was second in WHIP, [0.89]) or teammate Justin Verlander (21-6, led in WHIP [0.80] and was second in striketous [320] and second in ERA [2.58] will win the Cy Young, which is why the ALCS may hinge on the fact that the Rays extended the Astros to five games, meaning neither will pitch Game 1 and even if Verlander does pitch Game 2, on Sunday, it’ll be on short rest.

Wonders: After a win, do the Astros dine at Mastro’s?

Thug Shots

You are looking at Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, Russian-born clients of Rudy Giuliani. Yesterday the pair were arrested at Dulles Airport as they had one-way tickets to Frankfurt. They are accused of breaking several campaign finance laws, including setting up phony companies in which to funnel money to Republican candidates, money that originated from an unknown Russian investor. They also allegedly introduced Giuliani to Ukrainian officials who suggested they push the Biden-corruption angle.

Besides being clients of Giuliani, the pair had their bail agreement ($1 million) negotiated by Paul Manafort’s attorney. President Donald Trump says that he does not know them which, well, of course.

This is paint-by-numbers stuff at this stage. Manafort, now in prison, was the original conduit to the Russian agenda. When he went away, Rudy replaced him. The game all along has been to funnel Russian money to Republican super-PACs and candidates via shell companies or third parties such as the NRA. FOLLOW THE MONEY.

Republicans pols, who consider liberals and/or Democrats the greatest threat to their U.S.A., have no problem accepting cash from Russians if it will keep them in power. And kow-tow’ing to them. And using Putin’s KGB methods to remain in power.

And here’s Don Jr. with the both of them

This is treason. If you want to hang some of these men, it’s not the worst idea.

Trump, yesterday afternoon before heading to a rally in Minneapolis:

Rudy, that bus ahead is the one you’re about to be thrown under.

Shame, Shame For Ol’ Notre Dame

We love our alma mater, tis true, but this is shameful: Attorney General William Barr, who could be going to prison within a year or may be resigning even sooner, is scheduled to speak at the University of Notre Dame Law School today. That’s bad juju, Irish, particularly on the eve of the USC game.

Here’s hoping a “Lock him up!” chant is started by a few spirited 1Ls.

By the way, since Ronald Reagan, every U.S. president has given a commencement speech at least once at Notre Dame. Donald Trump has not yet been invited—Mike Pence delivered it in 2017.

Mystic Achievement

We don’t have much to say about the Washington Mystics winning their first WNBA title after 22 seasons in the league other than Good job. League MVP Elena Delle Donne beats the state of Connecticut again, as the Mystics take down the Sun in five games (Delle Donne famously committed to UConn and then withdrew her first week on campus in the summer, likely costing the Huskies at least two national championships). Delle Donne played the series with three herniated discs in her back. And a broken nose.

It’s the first Washington, D.C., pro sports championship since the Capitals two years ago.

Mercedes Rule

We were strolling past the Mercedes dealership on 11th Avenue the other day when we noticed, in the showroom, this 2020 Mercedes AMG GT C Coupe. Sticker price of just $150,900. As soon as that Bitcoin play comes in, we’re purchasing one of these. We’ll even take you for a spin, Susie B.

Music 101

Alive

The first time we heard Pearl Jam’s breakout tune, in September of 1991, we just knew it. You did too, right? It’s not exactly a toe-tapper, more of a foot-stomper. This is the song, and the opening guitar riff, that started it all.

Remote Patrol

Nationals at Cardinals

8 p.m. TBS

A fine appetizer for tomorrow’s incredible day of sports ball: Oklahoma-Texas, Penn State at Iowa, Alabama at Texas A&M, USC at Notre Dame, Florida at LSU, Yankees-Astros. Crazy.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Who’s Your Yadi?

Rule No. 7 (In any baseball game you have a chance of seeing something you’ve never seen before) was in full effect last night as the Cardinals put up a 10-run first that included one sacrifice bunt and zero home runs. The series was over before the Braves ever got to bat.

St. Louis wins Game 5 13-1 in a contest in which they were out-homered by Atlanta, 1-0.

Defeat of Clay

In a first-ballot Hall of Fame career, Los Angeles Dodger pitcher has never given up back-to-back home runs on consecutive pitches—in the regular season. He’s now done it twice in October as he allowed back-to-back blasts to Washington’s top hitters, Anthony Rendon and Juan Soto. The Nats tied the game 3-3 on those bombs and then used a Howie Kendrick grand slam in the 10th to win 7-3 and advance.

Meanwhile, anyone remember when Bryce Harper’s departure was supposed to leave the Nats mediocre? Also, another Rule No. 7 moment as in the bottom of the first Joc Pederson hit a ball through the outfield fence (an opening in the chain link fence).

By the way, the Nats are now 3-0 this postseason in their navy-blue tops. Manager Davey Martinez: “I’m not superstitious. I’m just a little stitious.”

There’s An App For That

Given a rare prime-time TV appearance, Appalachian State moves to 5-0 with a 17-7 win at Louisiana. The Mountaineers are now 16-2 the past two seasons, the lone defeats being at Georgia Southern and in overtime at Penn State. A note on first-year coach Eli Drinkwitz, 36: he never played college football but was the student body president at Arkansas Tech.

The Mountaineers have a decent shot of being the Group of Five school that plays in a New Year’s Six bowl.

Pence-ive Reply

This is what “I Want Not To Be Here” looks like from a compromised politician whose sole role is to defend his crooked boss.

Give Her The Turnover Chain

Speaking of dumb crooks, check out this amazing turnover in a foiled robbery at a hotel in Kentucky….

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

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by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five

Rays Of Hope*

*The judges will also accept “Trop Of The Heap”

In Saint Petersburg, the Tampa Bay Rays stave off elimination a second consecutive night with a 5-1 defeat of Houston to force Game 5 in the ALDS. The Rays also do the Yankees a favor by forcing the Astros to start Gerrit Cole in Thursday’s game and wasting a Justin Verlander start. Even if he Astros win, chances are Cole and Verlander would be unavailable for Games 1 and 2 in Houston—the Astros swept the Yankees three straight way back in early April the only time the two teams played in Houston this season.

Meanwhile, this defensive relay play from centerfielder Kevin Kiermaier to 2nd baseman Willie Adames to catcher Travis d’Arnaud to nail 2017 AL MVP Jose Altuve is as beautiful a defensive play as you’ll ever see on the diamond.

Heigh Ho, Silver!

Given a day or two to mull its official Sunday statement calling Daryl Morey’s tweet urging solidarity with Hong Kong “regrettable,” the NBA and commissioner Adam Silver game out in favor of truth, justice and the American way.

Before a preseason game between the Houston Rockets and the Toronto Raptors (you may remember them? the NBA champs?) in Tokyo, Silver said, ““Daryl Morey, as general manager of the Houston Rockets, enjoys that right [to free expression] as one of our employees. What I also tried to suggest is that I understand there are consequences from his freedom of speech, and we will have to live with those consequences.”

(Well of course they’d whitewash something in a Communist country using red paint)

Money’s original tweet, since deleted? “Fight for freedom, stand with Hong Kong.”

CCTV, China’s state-run television, has canceled the airing of two NBA preseason games (as a service to its fans? I hate exhibtion games) and the Chinese Basketball Association, run by former Houston Rocket Yao Ming, has severed all ties with the Rockets…who may wind up being the most watchable team in the NBA this season.

China, meanwhile, says that it too believes in freedom of expression unless it threatens the sovereignty of the state, which is like saying you believe in dinner but not after 3 p.m.

Silver: “If those are the consequences of us adhering to our values, I still feel it’s very, very important to adhere to those values.”

This is what a leader looks like. Values over dollars. If only our president or secretary of state had the integrity of Adam Silver.

The Cables Guy

In the Italian Alps, a near-miracle. A small plane was a second or two from crashing into terra firma, which would have killed both occupants. Instead it gets tangled in a chair lift at Prago Valentino ski resort in Teglio and flips upside down. Both the pilot, 62, who was thrown onto the wing, and the passenger, 55, are fine.

This is Bugs Bunny-level stuff. Unbelievable.

Dam Shame

The nation of India, which leads all nations in selfie-assisted suicides (really; India’s Journal of Family Medicine and Primary Care.did a study in 2018, Susie B.), added four more people to the list recently. A newlywed, 20, and three family members aged 15 to 22 drowned when they slipped while attempting to take selfies shots at Pambar Dam (above). The groom and his sister survived.

From October of 2011 to November of 2017 some 259 people died worldwide due to incidents involving attempted selfies. And the editors at MH can only thank them for helping to fill out our final item or two on many a morning.

Here’s The Truth, Ruth

Before this tweet fades into the mist, I wanted to post it and have it here to represent the simplest disconnect between those who still side with Trump and those who side with the U.S.A. and the Constitution.

In case the type is too small, I will post it here in ALL CAPS and bold:

“I THINK WHAT MOST LIBERALS ARE MISSING IS THAT THIS ISN’T ABOUT RIGHT AND WRONG. IT’S ABOUT WINNING AND LOSING. I’VE ATTACHED MY ENTIRE WORLDVIEW TO THIS MAN AND I AM GOING DOWN WITH THE SHIP. NOT ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.”

It’s funny. A New York judge orders the president of the United States to hand over his tax returns; he ignores the order. Congress subpoenas a former ambassador to Ukraine to appear before it and the White House blocks it. And on and on and it may go to federal court, but WHO CARES?

Even if the Supreme Court rules against Donald Trump, does anyone really believe he will comply with it? He will simply keep stonewalling and do the Roy Cohn 101 bit, akin to pulling an Al Pacino in And Justice For All…

I really doubt that he will ever admit defeat, will ever willingly abandon office even if the Senate ratifies the House’s impeachment vote. Resign? Never. It will take a Colonel Jessup moment wherein two giant Marines walk into the Oval Office and haul him out as he threatens Nancy Pelosi, here in the role of Lt. Daniel Kaffee, in the most vile of terms.

In the end, only an overwhelming preponderance of evidence (PUT OUT BY THE MEDIA!!!!) will produce a turning of hearts and minds in precincts that had formerly bought MAGA hats by the thousands, which will eventually stir some Republican legislators who’ve been riding the Trump Train to at last get religion, which may at last stir Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, who is the lynch pin in this entire affair, to pull the plug on his support for Trump.

Meanwhile, Nobody Republicans such as Jim Jordan and Matt Gaetz (below) and Devin Nunes will eventually wind up in jail as well as the scrap heap of history as their political careers are last seen in that mobile-dumpster-on-fire GIF.

https://twitter.com/jdubs88/status/1181761346863599616?s=20

In the interim, the U.S. abandons its allies in Ukraine and the Kurdish, most likely for the personal enrichment of the Trump family. Last night I was talking to a friend (who took me out to dinner…sweet!) and likened the U.S. foreign policy situation, and our image among the global community, to a house party when the parents away. The sane part of the country is the Lisa Simpson type, and Donald Trump is like a teenaged Bart, who has decided to throw the greatest bash ever while Homer and Marge are out of town.

Someone vomited in Marge’s underwear drawer. Someone else broke a vase. There’s pizza on the ceiling. The cat is in the dryer (at least it’s not running). The place is a mess and here we are, Lisa, helpless to do anything really until Hurricane Bart and his friends play themselves out and/or pass out. Then we’ll get to the task of cleaning up after them for the gigantic mess they’ve made. We just hope they don’t burn the house down before we can get to work.

Reserves

Rageaholics Autonomous

In Philadelphia—of course—Wells Fargo Arena introduces a “Rage Room” where fans of the Sixers and Flyers are welcome to take out their frustrations. I don’t see that counter lasting very long. How was this not ever a plot angle on It’s Always Sunny….? It’s pure genius.

Music 101

Only Love Can Break Your Heart

We’ve finally begun watching Fleabag and there’s a terrific line in the first or second episode. You know the one: “Don’t make me hate you; loving you is painful enough.”

This was Canadian native Neil Young‘s first single to chart, in 1970, and is reportedly about the breakup between his ex-bandmate Graham Nash and yet another influential Canadian musician, Joni Mitchell (No. 2 on the Most Influential Canadians list?). Young’s music has an inimitable, and often searingly heartbreaking, sound. I love it.

Remote Patrol

GAMES 5!!!!!

Cardinals at Braves

5 p.m. TBS

Nationals at Dodgers

8:30 p.m. TBS

Heat Miser doppelganger Justin Turner has been the hottest bat in the N.L. this postseason

I’m SO down for all of this. October. Baseball. Do or die doubleheader!

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | Leave a comment

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Presidential.

Starting Five

Minnesota Tloses

Certainly the Yankees are Savages, but the Minnesota Twins just lost their 16th consecutive playoff game. And their 13th in a row to the Bombers, a team that only won two more games (103 to 101) than they did this season.

The Yanks become the only team to sweep their divisional series. Gleyber Torres, 22, had a home run and two doubles while making an incredible defensive play in short right from his second-base spot. Gleyber, Judge, D.J. LeMahieu and Didi Greglorious (!) all made fantastic defensive plays.

The Twins may want to petition to move to the National League.

Big D Visits Big D (Arlington, Actually)

On Sunday TV host and Extremely Wealthy Woman Ellen DeGeneres and her partner, Portia de Rossi, were guests of Jerry Jones in the owners’ box at the Packers-Cowboys game. Well, they were more closely guests of Jones’ daughter, Charlotte. Ellen, who sat next to the 43rd president of the United States, had a few wise things to say about her pilgrimage to Jerry World on Monday.

Another Flag Incident In San Francisco

In the midst of the 49ers’ 28-3 pasting of Baker Mayfield and the Browns, Niner rookie Nick Bosa sacked Baker Mayfield and celebrated by figuratively planting a flag in the turf.

Bosa played at Ohio State in 2016 and ’17 (he mostly sat out last season) and while there only lost one game at the Horseshoe: to Mayfield and the Oklahoma Sooners—a game after which Mayfield planted a flag in the Ohio State turf.

I’m not sure if MNF payback really counts—but the Niners are 4-0.

Follow You, Follow Me

We caught Phil Collins’ “Not Dead Yet” show at Madison Square Garden last night.

Now, before you say that you’re more of a Peter Gabriel guy/gal than a Phil Collins guy/gal, hey, so are we. But do you know the other artists who sold more than a 100 million records both as a member of a band and as a solo artist? It’s a short list: Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson and Phil Collins.

Collins, who must be seated for most of the show due to complications from back surgery, played plenty of hits both from his solo career and Genesis (we wanted to hear “Turn It On Again” but alas, no), but the true highlight of the show was the band’s 18 year-old drummer, Nicholas Collins.

Besides holding his own at dad’s drum kit, Nicholas also played piano for a duet with his proud pop. Can you imagine being 18 years old and not only touring with a world-class artist but also your father? And holding your own? Good-looking kid, too.

The Last Point After

Almost, if not every, former Sports Illustrated staffer grew up a fan of the magazine (had my first subscription at age seven or so and only dropped it when I was hired) and most have given eulogies-in-kind in the past week. I worked there for 15 years in two stints: 1989-2001 and 2003-2006. I actually started on July 20th both times.

Anyway, today I want to talk about SI for two reasons. The first is this Point After piece by Rick Reilly buried deep in Peter King’s “Football Morning In America” column this week. It’s worth the scroll down as it’s vintage Reilly.

When I was in college Reilly was the guy my Notre Dame buddy Marty Burns and I would read religiously, and it’s a wonderful gift of fate that Mister Burns and I were both able to work at SI for more than a decade. When I was in my post-collegiate existential crisis between attending grad school, making lots of money and marrying far above my station or pursuing my childhood dream of working for SI, I wrote to Reilly. Like, a letter. In an envelope. With a stamp.

He wrote back to this nobody. A letter. In an envelope. With a stamp. When we finally met in person he was gracious and funny and humble and just incredibly kind to all the twenty something fact-checkers at SI whom he knew aspired to be him. I read a lot of cheap shots taken at Reilly these days on Twitter, blogs; those folks can go suck eggs. In his prime, Reilly was the absolute best at his craft and when he’d visit the office (he lived in Denver at the time), he was a charismatic presence who brought laughter to every office he visited.

The second thing I’d like to talk about today is something I’ve not heard anyone mention. To work at SI or even to be a sportswriter is, hopefully, to eventually be brought into spheres of people who tell you that they don’t follow sports. This happens to me a lot and at first glance I find plenty of folk, particularly here in Manhattan, think of us as Oscar Madison. Or worse.

To me the appeal of sport, the longer I’ve had to think of it, is that unlike ballet or Broadway or a recital (and those things all have their appeal), there is genuine excitement because Darwinism is involved. Somebody wins, somebody loses, just as has been taking place for millennia out on the Serengeti Plain or the Kalahari.

Sport is the surrogate for survival for our subconscious and instinctive self, a 21st-century being that no longer has to worry about maintaining the hearth or fending off saber-tooth tigers (although, ironically, Nazis remain a threat). When I’ve posited my theory at dinner parties, etc, I’ve seen people genuinely look at me differently. They’d never thought of sport that way. But to me that is why it has such passionate and universal appeal; it is providing that same anxiety/thrill our ancestors felt when riding a stagecoach across Apache lands or going to war against the Visigoths.

Now, I bring that all up because what are layoffs than just another example of Darwinism (and I’ve been on the wrong side of a layoff or two, so I have empathy for these jettisoned SI staffers, I do)? Yes, Maven is a corporate vampire that will use up SI’s last remaining drops of integrity the way a pimp uses a pretty 18 year-old girl’s virtue and charms, no doubt. But this is also a story of natural selection: half the staff was selected to survive and the other half was sent out into the wilderness.

As a sportswriter or jettisoned SI staffer, maybe (not now) you will one day appreciate the irony of it all (right now you will grieve, perhaps publicly and on various podcasts). Sports are all about one side making the cut and the other not. And that’s what happened at SI last week. Although, honestly, I believe that those who did not make the cut will ultimately be better off.

I’ve written this before, but when SI laid me off in June of 2001—on the morning of the wedding of my SI buddy Steve Cannella, where I was headed; Cannella is now the co-editor in chief of the mag— I received plenty of nice notes and calls of conciliation from co-workers. The one call I will never forget came from my close friend, then and now, Austin Murphy. “John, Austin,” the driest sense of humor in journalism began. “Better you than me.”

Life isn’t fair, as every pro athlete knows. You don’t deserve anything. I learned that lesson and good when SI laid me off. It’s a lesson you need to experience but once you do, everything gets better. It’s a lesson plenty of ex-SI staffers are feeling, perhaps truly for the first time, this week.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Hong Kong Phooey

On Sunday Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey tweeted out an image that read, “Fight For Freedom. Stand With Hong Kong.”

Quickly, Rockets owner Tilman Fertitta said that Morey does not speak for the team.

Then Yao Ming—remember him?—who is the president of the Chinese Basketball Association, said that the CBA is suspending its relationship with the Rockets.

Then the NBA itself called the tweet “regrettable.”

https://twitter.com/SportsbyBrooks/status/1181180514788499456?s=20

Then the Rockets’ two future Hall of Famers had to take one for the team.

And sure, because you cannot just have colonies breaking away from their repressive nation and forming an independent country of their own. That would be chaos, right?

RIP, Rip

Long before people in Hollywood—or elsewhere—were publicly allowed to be gay, actor/comedian Rip Taylor was heralded as being “flamboyant.” Taylor, who died this weekend at age 84, was someone whom I did not recall seeing in anything other than a flowery scarf and a bright leisure suit.

Folks of my age know him from his frequent and outlandish appearances on The Merv Griffin Show, often accompanied by Phyllis Diller. What a pair.

Also a RIP to former Cream drummer Ginger Baker, who by that name you may have thought was an old black jazz singer. Baker, who passed away at age 80 this weekend, was a primal force of rock drumming although he always insisted that he was “a jazz drummer” (see?). I’m also informed by my sister, whose late husband was a rock-and-roll drummer, that Baker and I slept on the same couch (though not on the same night). Baker, by his own admission, “quit heroin 29 times” and was as much a character off stage as he was a virtuoso behind the kit. An ex-wife once said of him that if Baker were a passenger in a plane that went down he’d be the only survivor “because the Devil takes care of his own.”

Standing Pats

A little more than one month into the NFL season, the New England Patriots are the league’s only undefeated franchise (5-0). The Pats, who strangled the Washington Redskins 33-7 yesterday, a team whose coach, Jay Gruden, was fired shortly afterward, have outscored their five opponents by a combined 121 points.

The next-best point differential in the NFL thus far is +42, by the 3-0 San Francisco 49ers, whose quarterback, Jimmy Garoppolo, learned at the foot of Tom Brady. Who is probably the only Patriot I can name off-hand.

So, unless Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs can take care of business this time, it’s not too early to book the Pats to the Super Bowl for the sixth time in the last nine seasons. While you’re waiting, though, read this revealing story in Vanity Fair about owner Robert Kraft’s visit to a sex spa.

Second Whistleblower, First-Hand Knowledge

A second intelligence official, reportedly with first-hand information about President Trump’s dealings with Ukraine, and with grave misgivings about them, has come forward but has yet to file a formal complaint. Meanwhile, all that 45 and his supporters such as Senator Lindsey Graham are able to do is to beg for the whistleblowers to be outed so that they can show that these people are “partisan hacks.”

Not only is this witness intimidation, of course, but it’s also the last Hail Mary pass of a president and his cronies who know that the facts are not on their side. It’s the Roy Cohn School of Self-Defense: attack the integrity of your accuser when the facts clearly show that you are guilty.

Brown testifying

Meanwhile, on the topic of witness intimidation, the neighbor of Dallas murder victim Botham Jean, a young black man (and former college football player) named Joshua Brown who had testified at the murder trial of Amber Guyger, was himself murdered on Friday night. Guyger received a soft (in our opinion) 10-year sentence for murdering Jean in his own apartment. On Friday night Brown was shot once in the mouth and once in the chest outside an apartment complex. There was no known motive. Uh huh.

The Sudafed Syndrome

https://twitter.com/JRehling/status/1180505950613958658?s=20

Remember this photo from Cinco de Mayo, 2016? Your Republican presidential nominee tweeting out his support of Mexicans because he enjoys the Taco Bowl from the Trump restaurant inside Trump Tower? If you look closely at that open drawer behind the future president, you’ll notice not one but a few boxes of Sedated (if you blow up the photo, it’s easier to spot of course).

https://twitter.com/JRehling/status/1180508066988449800?s=20

We would advise you to visit the Twitter feed of @JRehling to learn about all of the possible effects of abusing this well-known decongestant, but it’s important to note that there is a limit to the frequency an individual may purchase Sudafed and that these limits were clearly being circumvented. Of course, President Trump does sniffle a lot.