IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 5 Comments

by John Walters

Two days ago we were blocked on Twitter by Clay Travis (DBAP, dude!), mainly because when I go after him (and admittedly, I’ve been up his ass for years), his lemmings tweet me back but keep including him in the @’s so he finally got fed up with it. I don’t honestly blame him—Twitter protocol: leave people with more followers out of your Twitter spats with someone else—but I sat there yesterday noticing that LeBron James had dressed up as Pennywise for Halloween and wondered if not Clay had suggested that it was politically incorrect for LBJ to dress up in whiteface…

Starting Five

Act Of Cowardice

On a sunny and warm and cloudless Halloween afternoon in New York, a coward (yes, a Muslim immigrant from Uzbekistan) drove a rented Home Depot truck down the popular Hudson River bike path (we’ve ridden it hundreds of times) and mowed down more than a dozen people, murdering eight.

Call it terror if you want, it’s simply cowardice. Calling it “an act of terror” won’t do anything more to stop the next such act than sending out “thoughts and prayers” will prevent the next incident of a white loner with a semi-automatic weapon mowing down innocents.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Az9fggE74E

So what do we do? Take the example of Whoville, which is what we New Yorkers did last night. In other words, go on living, as thousands of New Yorkers did by taking part in our annual Halloween Parade, which takes place less than a mile from where this heinous act occurred.

And by the way, to give you an idea of exactly what type of losers we’re dealing with, if this nihilist had half a brain he would’ve waited a few hours and been able to mow down exponentially more people. They’re not particularly smart, these people.

Dig: As soon as more (or even a few) Americans are emigrating to Middle Eastern countries than Middle Easterners are yearning to live here, I’ll think we have a problem. Until then, don’t let the bastards get you down.

2. Georgia On Their Minds

The nation’s No. 1 team has a true freshman at quarterback

The Playoff Selection Committee opens with Georgia, Alabama, Notre Dame, Clemson, Oklahoma and Ohio State in their top six. Followed by Penn State, TCU, Wisconsin and Miami.

No beef with that. Remember that the Dawgs beat the Irish by one point on September 9th, and the difference may have been this spectacular fourth-down grab by Terry Godwin. Yes, a dude named “Godwin” is keeping Mary’s team from being No. 1.

Thoughts: 1) The road to the playoff runs through Auburn, which hosts Georgia and Alabama in November (anyone recall 2013, the most magical month in Auburn football history?); if only the Tigers hadn’t blown that 20-0 lead in Baton Rouge 2) Jim Harbaugh REALLY needs a signature win, and Ohio State in Ann Arbor on Nov. 25th would be it, 3) Iowa State may have blown up the Big 12, but I think its best shot is the Sooners beating Oklahoma State and TCU on consecutive weekends, 4) the Pac-12 is out 5) there’s an awful lot of football left to be played, but if the Irish are in the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day for a semi, we’re there.

Meanwhile, hindsight is 20/20, sure, but SI.com‘s Top 100 Players of 2017 list failed to include Bryce Love, Josh Adams or even Will Grier.

Finally, this by Faux Pelini is just exquisite.

3. Bitcoin Is Legitcoin

Yesterday the Chicago Mercantile Exchange (i.e, the CME Group), which operates the world’s largest options and futures exchange, announced that by year’s end it planned to offer bitcoin futures contracts. Basically, because we don’t understand all of it but just enough, CME is legitimizing bitcoin (sorry, Jamie Dimon) for institutional investors.

The lesson for you? Dive in! But how? The easiest way (and what the MH staff did two weeks ago), was to purchase shares of Bitcoin Investment Trust (GBTC), which is available if you operate through Ameritrade or E-Trade or Schwab, etc. Yesterday GBTC was up 14% on the news (from $731 to $828) and since October 11th, when it dipped to $625, is up roughly 30%.

Since New Year’s Day, when GBTC opened at $130, it is up more than 500%. We don’t know all that much about bitcoin except that it is a supranational currency that is able to evade stodgy banks and stuff and that tech geeks use it, and they’re going to run the world if they’re not already, so you might as well climb aboard as the train leaves the station.

You’re welcome.

p.s. MH’s stock pick for 2017, Nvidia (NVDA), is up more than 100% since New Year’s Day…

4. The Daily Harrumph: I Don’t Want Your Civil War

In yesterday’s edition of “Mad Deflection Away From Trump Treason,” America got its knickers in a bunch after White House Chief of Staff John Kelly suggested on Monday night on Fox News that the Civil War came about due to a “lack of ability to compromise.” Geez, these Trump staffers know what they’re doing when it comes to changing the subject, don’t they?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSEGMiNawXA

Kelly’s comment provoked a tweet storm from Ta-Nehisi Coates, a simple tweet from America’s foremost expert on the Civil War (no, not Clay Travis), Ken Burns…

 

…and the above response from Late Night’s Amber.

 

Here are the facts: behind those four stars and that I’m-Your-Stable-CEO facade, John Kelly has twice in the past week made statements to embolden white supremacists (the first was when he said he’d “never” apologize to Frederica Wilson, even though it was clearly demonstrated that he either got his facts wrong or lied about her). The guy we considered a voice of reason is actually a voice of treason.

 

And no matter what Robert E. Lee, whom Lincoln offered command of West Point, was considered in the mid-19th century, the incontrovertible fact is that he surrendered his federal status to serve his state based on the ideal that his state, Virginia, wanted to preserve slavery. As commentator Roland Martin noted yesterday, the idea of giving up your country in order to serve a twisted, inhumane ideology sounds a lot like ISIS.

By the way, we’ve identified Donald Trump’s three favorite Guns ‘n Roses albums:

  1. Use Your Collusion
  2. Appetite For Obstruction
  3. G ‘n R Lies

 

5. Just Not The Dave You Think

This week on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the titular host has the week off so friends are taking a spin in his chair. Last night Dave Grohl hosted and, because it was Halloween, appeared as his hero, David Letterman. You’ll remember that Foo Fighters was the last band to play on Dave’s show and that they have a giant man crush on one another.

Here’s the monologue…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY-aq7G4cI8

…and here’s Grohl’s interview with Kristen Bell/Magnum P.I…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_AOoC4Lswg

Reserves

The Worst Family…

 

Meet Virginia…

 

****

Joc Pederson home run that ends with an E-10….

Music 101

Take Me Home Tonight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnRCk6DN9EE

A mid-Eighties classic that received heavy MTV air play (even if we cannot locate that video on YouTube), this was Eddie Money‘s last major hit (love those crazy eyes). And what a deft touch, adding Ronnie Spector, an all-timer from the doo-wop era, on vocals. This performance does not do the song justice, so here’s a link to a more sterile video featuring the mastered version of this tune that reached No. 4 on the Billboard charts this month 31 years ago.

Remote Patrol

Game 7

Astros at Dodgers

8 p.m. Fox

L.A. survived the Justin Verlander and the rain, Joc Pederson hit another home run (what a home run trot), and Larry King did not die. This series deserved a Game 7, this series deserved November, this stadium (third-oldest in MLB) deserves its first ever Game 7, and this series deserved a Yu Darvish-Yuli Gurriel rematch.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Halloween thought: I’ve always thought of The Exorcist as the Linda Blair Witch Project…

Starting Five


Top Jimmy Struts

As if having to spell Papadopoulos were not tough enough for the MH staff, the Patriots have now dealt up-and-coming QB Jimmy Garoppolo to the 0-8 San Francisco 49ers, who play not far from where Tom Brady grew up. From the Back Bay to San Francisco Bay is not a bad career move.

Apparently Bill Belichick’s deal with the devil was approved and Brady will live forever, or at least until Belichick retires. Garoppolo turns 26 on Thursday. Brady is 40. The Pats got next year’s 2nd-roudn pick in return. Feels as if they got robbed, but BB is way smarter than the rest of us, so it’ll probably work out for the best for them.

2. Clown Show

As The Worst Wing begins to unravel, you’ve got President Trump assuring Americans that there was NO COLLUSION because you know why? Because Paul Manafort’s defense attorney says so.

 

You’ve got Sarah I Heart Huckabees winking at the media, you’ve got Sean Hannity saying “President Clinton” when he refers to Hillary, you’ve got Carter Page appearing on MSNBC and dancing very close to the flame,

and you’ve got John Kelly saying that he does not owe Frederica Wilson an apology after it was proven that he was either misinformed or outright lying about her. But when do white men ever own black women an apology?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP04_TVbW8k

Oh, speaking of black women, watch Joy Reid go master chef with the ginsu knife on this hapless pundit. It’s so much easier to win when you have the facts on your side.

3. Her, Too

This is going to be a daily thing now, isn’t it? We’re not objecting, we’re just noting. Over the weekend it was Annabella Sciorra alleging that Harvey Weinstein raped her, and yesterday WNBA’er Breanna Stewart wrote a first-person piece for the Players Tribune in which she revealed that she was repeatedly molested by a family friend/relative? before puberty.

In related news, Netflix has canceled House of Cads.

4. DeMarcus Where?

It’s still astounding that serial brooder DeMarcus Cousins has never played in a single postseason contest, seven full seasons in. Last Thursday, in a homecoming game in Sacramento, Boogie put up 41 and 23. Two weeks in, he’s second in the league in Scoring (29.4), third in Blocked Shots (2.14) and fourth in Rebounds (13.6) for the 3-4 Pelicans.

Giannis is more popular, but DeMarcus is your October MVP.

5. U2 Debut

Happened upon this on YouTube (shouldn’t there be a U2-ube channel?) and before we forget about it, thought we’d air this gem. The year is 1980: Bono is 20 years old. This was the first song from Side 2 of their first album, Boy.

One year later…

Look how much more confident they are.

Music 101

Mr. Crowley

Before there was Metallica, there was Black Sabbath. And after Black Sabbath, there was simply Ozzy. This tune is dedicated to Aleister Crowley (1875-1947), Great Britain’s notorious occultist and reputed muse for Led Zeppelin, among others.

Remote Patrol

World Series, Game 6

Astros at Dodgers

8 p.m. Fox

Justin Verlander gets the pill on the hill. We want a Game 7 in November, don’t we?

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 7 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Mueller Gets His Manafort

In the People vs. Donald Trump (and Steve Bannon, Stephen Miller, Michael Flynn, Steve Mnuchin, Corey Lewandowski, Roger Stone, Sean Spicer, Paul Manafort, Carter Page, Jared Kushner, Donny, Jr., et al), the first domino falls: this morning special prosecutor Robert Mueller is expected to indict former campaign manager Manafort, a Georgetown law alum whose reputation for honesty and candor is….not impeccable.

See below…

 

Manafort has already surrendered. The fun part will be to see whether Manafort trades testimony for immunity.

It’s just another Mueller Monday

I wish it were Conway

What will Trump say

I-wish-I’d-never-run day….

2. Houston Marathon

Adam Bregman’s two-out single scored pinch-runner Fisher…

Let’s get the numbers out of the way first: 10 innings, 25 runs, 7 home runs (by 7 different players), 14 pitchers, and 5 hours and 17 minutes (more than twice as long as Game 1). Game 5 in Houston was an undeniable classic. Still, there have been 22 home runs (a “new” record, Leigh Torbin!) in this Fall Classic through five games. This entire World Series is corked. Or juiced. Or both.

In a game started by Cy Young winners Clayton Kershaw and Dallas Keuchel, the Astros win 13-12. Houston rebounded from a 4-0 deficit in the fourth, while Los Angeles rebounded from a 12-9 deficit in the 9th.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up08l7w0hBc

But it was the bizarre moments that’ll make Game 5 live on (and admittedly, we missed much of the first half of the game): Joc Pederson‘s pausing to watch what might have been a triple but was instead a double; Charlie Taylor believing his 3rd base coach was saying “No, no” when we viewers could hear him say, “Gotta go!”; George Springer‘s rocket blast of a home run that seemed to literally explode as it landed; and an unidentified fans stealing Yasiel Puig‘s home run from the woman who caught it and tossing it back into left field.

Great stuff. Please let this go seven.

3. The NBA in October Is Drunk

Tim Hardaway, Jr., scored a season-high 24 for NYK

The Cavs are 3-4 after their third straight defeat, all to teams that are .500 or below (Brooklyn, New Orleans and New York). Golden State lost to Detroit last night and the Dubs are just 4-3. The Dubs lost their third game of the season last year on December 1 and lost their third game of the season two years ago on January 13.

By the way, MH NBA experts thought it was a terrible move for Cleveland to trade Kyrie Irving. Even an unhappy Kyrie is going to perform. Now you have a lesser team whose players likely feel strongly that LeBron has one foot out the door and is headed to L.A. Yes, it’s very early but the Cavs do not look special.

Meanwhile, the New York Knicks of Porzingis and Kanter are a fun and very tall watch. They beat Cleveland by 19 in Cleveland last night. It was their first victory against the Cavs, who look extremely mortal, after 10 straight losses.

Meanwhile, the top 3 scorers in the NBA in its first fortnight are Giannis Antetokounmpo (34.7) DeMarcus Cousins and Kristaps Porzingis.

4. J.T. Was Just Terrific

This was supposed to be Penn State’s official “We’re Back!” game and, after one play, a 97-yard kickoff return, it appeared to be Saquon Barkley’s Heisman showcase. And for three quarters it was.

But then Ohio State, which is simply harder to kill for good than Jon Snow, roared back on the strength of 16 consecutive J.T. Barrett completions and a furious defensive line led by Nick Bosa, who on one play sacked both Barkley and Trace McSorley.

The Big Ten in one photo….

Results: Ohio State wins a 39-38 thriller. Penn State is now on the outside looking in for the playoff. Barkley, who finished with 44 rushing yards, suddenly looks catchable in the Heisman race (Go visit 33trucking.com). And Ohio State, which has made two of the first three CFB Playoffs and would have made all three if Urban Meyer had just handed off the damn ball to Ezekiel Elliott versus Michigan State in 2015, is alive and well. I think you’ll see the Buckeyes in the playoff, a la the 2014 season.

The MH Domin-Eight: Alabama, Georgia, Notre Dame, Ohio State, Clemson, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Oklahoma State.

5. Spacey Balls

Spacey’s come on? “There’s only us/There’s only this/Forget regret/Or life is yours to miss…”

Anthony Rapp (Rent, Dazed and Confused) accuses Kevin Spacey (LA Confidential, Se7en, The Usual Suspects, House of Cards) of attempting to seduce him when Rapp was 14 in 1986. Spacey apologizes, comes out of the closet (sorry, Mr. Weinstein, THAT was the worst-kept secret in Hollywood).

So this was not “off the record, on the QT, and very hush hush.”

Music 101

Walk On Water

Look at what Jordan Catalano became! Andrea Chase, find that boy! This is Jared Leto and his band, 30 Seconds To Mars, performing their 2017 hit at the VMAs last month. Yes, it’s the song you recognize from ESPN’s college football game promos.

Remote Patrol

The Babadook

Netflix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szaLnKNWC-U

Give yourself a baseball break—you deserve one if like us you stayed up until Adam Bregman’s walk-off hit last night—and tune in to this 2014 Aussie horror flick. The acting here by the two leads—the mom, played by Essie Davis, and her son, Samuel, played by Noah Wiseman—is ridiculously sharp and haunting.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 4 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Flaccout

Joe No!

The Miami Dolphins’ Kiko Alonso (yes, it IS a fun name to say) wiped out Baltimore Raven quarterback Joe Flacco late in the first half last night. Is this a good enough reason to eliminate Thursday night NFL games?

The Ravens won 40-0, Flacco suffered a concussion but Alonso was not ejected, and a kitty cat made its way onto the pitch at one one point.

Personally, this was the best NFL highlight since Sunday:

Mourning Joe

Why? Why? WHY? The New York Yankees got rid of manager Joe Girardi yesterday, which makes us wonder if George Steinbrenner is really dead. In 10 seasons the erstwhile pinstriped catcher led the Yanks to one World Series victory and three more ALCS trips and more importantly, no embarrassing missteps or back page-unworthy quotes.

A total class act. Remember in 2009, on the night the Yankees won the World Series, that Girardi stopped on a Westchester-bound parkway (the Hutch? The Cross-County?) to help a stranded motorist? That’s who he is, and he shepherded these Baby Bombers to within one win of the Fall Classic. Don’t get it. Won’t get it.

3. The Battle of 15-14

Stanford: “I’m all out of Love, I’m so lost without you/I know you were right believing for so long.”

What did we learn from Stanford’s improbable comeback win on the road in Corvallis:

1) The Cardinal offense, which could not score a TD until the final :20 versus a 1-6 team, is mundane minus Bryce Love 2)  A very good coach, probably but Cory Hall is certainly gonna be a very entertaining one (would love to know what David Shaw told him postgame when he held the laminated play chart to his mouth to keep us from lip reading it) 3) the Beavers were able to live down  to their “one turnover every five possessions” reputation in the worst of ways 4) Brock Huard continues to be the best game analyst out there 5) David Shaw is one stubborn SOB, refusing to take out Keller Chryst, who waited until the final two minutes to make his two best throws of the night 6) Notre Dame isn’t the only school whose heart Shaw is able to break after being outplayed all night and 7) Dave Flemming, who proposed that by his absence last night Love bolstered his Heisman chances because his value to the team was magnified, may smoke weed while he works (notice how Huard did not utter a word in support of that Bayless-ism?).

4. The Blake Show

While ESPN runs around with its head up LaVar Ball’s ass, a very funny thing is happening in the same building in which the Los Angeles Lakers play. To wit, Blake Griffin is absolutely flourishing since the exodus of Chris Paul. He’s like the divorcee who lost 12 pounds, started hitting Soul Cycle, and is absolutely killing it on Match.

Last night Griffin buried a game-winning, buzzer-beating three at Portland. He’s averaging 26.3 points per game and the Clips are 4-0. Oh, and he’s dating Pepsi-for-PO-lice advocate Kendall Jenner.

5. Tech Thursday!

Bezos muscles up…

Amazon, Alphabet (Google), Intel and Microsoft ALL killed it in after-the-bell quarterly earnings reports yesterday. In pre-dawn trading, here’s what you see:

AMZN…. Up $87, or 9% (glad we bought more shares yesterday), to $1,061

GOOGL… Up $45, or 4.5%, to $1,036

MSFT….Up $5.60, or 7.2%, to $84

INTC….Up $2.13, or 5%, to $43.48

The message: Big oil and big manufacturing is no longer where it’s at; data is.

Keep an eye on GOOGL, though, as it owns YouTube, which is headed for much greater heights.

Reserves

This piece, The Reckoning Always Comes, by Deadspin‘s Drew Magary.…

***

I haven’t dived in to the JFK Files yet, but it sounds as if we’re no closer to finding out if Woody Harrelson’s father (or Ted Cruz’s dad) did it…

****

Can’t wait to read this behind-closed-doors piece on the NFL Owners’ meetings. WHO LEAKED????

This has been the Richard Deitsch portion of the broadcast…

Music 101

Tub Thumping

We’ll be singing/When we’re winning

An unabashed anthem for all punters, Chumbawumba‘s infectious 1997 hit was the ultimate Premier League-ready tune. And yet, if you listen closely to the lyrics, this is an ironic a song to be proud of for its subjects as “Born In The U.S.A.” was for pols to be playing at rallies. Has anyone ever sung “Pissing the night away…” with more elegance and grace? The one-hit wonders had a No. 6 hit here with it and it went to No. 1 in five other nations, including Ireland, Australia and Canada.

Remote Patrol

World Series Game 3

Dodgers at Astros

Fox 8ish

Presumptive NL Rookie of the Year has been silent during the Fall Classic, going 0 fer 7 thus far. That’ll change tonight.

No aces tonight, so expect more of a Game 2-style fest of slug.

SATURDAY

3:30 p.m. BONANZA

No. 2 Penn State at No. 6 Ohio State

Fox

No. 4 TCU at No. 25 Iowa State

ABC/ESPN2

No. 14 North Carolina State at No. 9 Notre Dame

NBC

No. 3 Georgia vs. Florida

CBS

Nick and above, cousin Bradley. It’s a two-Chubb window at 3:30 p.m.

We’re not even going to miss you this week, Alabama, not that your games have been any fun to watch this season from a competitive standpoint.

MH Picks: Penn State, TCU, Notre Dame, Georgia (so yes, chalk)

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 5 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Brim Shot

Rule No. 6: Just when you think you’ve seen it all in baseball…you haven’t.

In the top of the third inning, with Astro runners on first and third, Alex Bregman‘s hard liner bounces off the brim of Dodger center fielder Chris Taylor‘s hat and ricochets directly into left fielder Joc Pederson‘s glove, preventing the runner on first from advancing beyond second.

Later, Pederson hit a game-tying home run (“Joc-tober!“), the first of a record-eight home runs in a single World Series contest (See Rule No. 6). This 11-inning classic featured the Astros becoming the first club to score off the Dodger bullpen in 28 innings this month, tying the game in the 9th, then taking a two-run lead in the tenth, then the Dodgers tying it with two outs in the bottom of the tenth, then taking another two-run lead in the 11th, then the Dodgers hitting a home run with two down in the 11th, setting the stage for Yasiel Puig to take the count to 3-2 before finally breaking Mary’s Hart and losing.

One night after taking a golden sombrero, George Springer hits the game-winning home run in the top 11th

There were FIVE home runs hit in the two extra innings. Nutty.

7-6, Astros. Series tied 1-1. Hope you enjoyed this four-hour plus classic.

2. The Chips Were Down (And Then They Reversed Course)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xiOPyk0AkY

Thoughts and prayers to Denver’s Channel 2 Daybreak anchor Natalie Tysdal, whose on-air regurgitation will live in infamy. She’s a good sport for not backing down from the chip challenge.

3. Vin, Vidi, Vici

 

The winner of Game 2 were Dodger fans, who were treated to a ceremonial first pitch featuring Vin Scully, Steve Yeager and Fernando Valenzuela. The classiest man in baseball if not all sports, Scully deflected the attention due him to Yeager and Fernando. I noticed a little shaking in the left wrist on the 89 year-old (he turns 90 next month), but the voice and sense of humor were pure and true.

 

As our friend Matt Zemek tweeted, “He delivers performance art but conveys warmth and humility more than any other qualities.”

As for Yeager, a youthful 68, he looked like that neighbor who is washing his car on the driveway and blasting the Scorpions.

Also, it’s 2017 so even a timeless Scully moment had to be compromised: Did you notice an inning or two later when Fox was obligated to show, and Buck was obligated to gush about (for YouTube promotional purposes), the five guys from Dude Perfect also having tossed out a ceremonial first pitch.

Finally, Buck said he’d drive to Vin Scully’s house to deliver him to the booth to call a World Series game. Joe, name that tune!

4. London Crawling

This is Chicago’s Home Insurance Building, which in 1884 became the world’s first skyscraper. At the time, the tallest building in London was St. Paul’s Cathedral. In this decade, London’s skyline is due for some dramatic changes.

The above is being called The Scalpel, a 38-story building that will soon be completed.

And this is One Blackfriars, also known as The Vase, a 52-story apartment building that will also soon be completed.

This BBC piece on London’s changing skyline is fantastic and an example of the potential of internet journalism that your rolled-up newspaper just cannot match.

5. Roam (If You Want To)

Chile’s Atacama Desert

The New York Times will release its 13th annual “52 Places To Go” list in January, but this year they are searching for a writer to travel to all those spots. We discussed it with the MH staff, and even our intern, and their response was…

“I wanna go to cool places with you/I wanna take you cool places tonight...”

“I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go, I WANNA GO!”

Here’s last year’s list. It’s real and it’s spectacular.

Reserves

From the MeToo fallout: The latest lecherous male to lose a gig over being an alleged sexual harasser? MSNBC’s Mark Halperin:

 

 

***

The Rockets beat the Sixers last night on this buzzer beater three by Eric Gordon…

***

After four games, Lonzo Ball is shooting 31.6% from the field. That ranks LAST in the NBA of the 131 players listed on ESPN’s stat charts…

****

Donald Trump yesterday: “I went to an Ivy League college. I was a nice student. I did very well. I’m a very intelligent person.”

Fredo Corleone:

****

Shouldn’t the Five Guys hamburger chain make these dudes an offer?

***

The other day two climbers, Brad Gobright and Jim Reynolds, set a speed record of 2 hours and 19 minutes ascending the Nose Route of Yosemite’s El Capitan. As our friend Leigh Torbin reminds us, it is not a “new record,” as that is redundant, and I am telling you that for “the last and final time” as per Jamie Reidy reminds us, “an added bonus.”

Here’s the 90-degree route from afar…

Music 101

Searchin’ So Long

I doubt NBC aired any of it, but Chicago (minus, alas, Peter Cetera) played halftime of last Saturday’s USC-Notre Dame game. Their manager, Peter Schivarelli, is a former Fighting Irish football player (1968-70). This song reached No. 9 on the Billboard chart in early 1974. I’ll reiterate: some day someone will bring a musical to Broadway centered around this band’s songs. I cannot believe it has not already happened.

Remote Patrol

Stanford at Oregon State

ESPN 9 p.m.

Either Bryce Love plays on national TV and this is a must-watch, or he sits (he’s banged up) against the 1-6 Beavers in Corvallis and there’s a load of time to fill.