IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 2 Comments

by John Walters

It’s Not Complicated

In the wake of the Atlanta and Boulder mass shootings—18 murdered if you’re keeping score—I’ve seen earnest Democrats asking versions of this question:

That’s easy. In the 21st century, democracy will kill the Republican party with far more alacrity than guns ever would. Moreover, if Republicans are able to keep citizens (heavily) armed, they’ll continue to be able to inject fear into the system: fear of the occasionally crazed mass murderer, fear of tyranny (never mind that the GOP is the party in quest of tyranny), fear of immigrants, illegal and otherwise.

Gun sales are the product of fear. Voting is the product of hope.

In a changing demographic, voting will mean the end of the Republican party. Guns, on the other hand, allow for the types of militias that could have successfully overrun the Capitol on January 6th if only they had planned it more thoroughly.

Why is the GOP afraid of democracy, as Sen. Chuck Schumer asked on Wednesday? Because democracy and white supremacy no longer go hand in hand.

When The Ship Hits The Sand

Behold the Ever Given (we’ll explain in a moment), which after a fierce sand storm found itself wedged sideways in Egypt’s Suez Canal, arguably the planet’s most vital shipping lane. The The Ever Given, operated by Taiwan-based Evergreen Group and owned by Japan’s Shoei Kisen, had been sailing to Rotterdam from China.

The ship was still stuck as of Wednesday night and we’ve suggested lube, maybe?

McCain Unable

Oh, Meg. No. Not like this.

A person who owes her entire career to her identity as the daughter of a late centrist Republican senator is cryin’ ’bout “identity politics.” Wow.

Coming To The Ocho

I mean, sure, I’d watch. I’m not sure if you need to be a short-skirted Nordic goddess in order to judge such a competition, but hey, I’m a walnut-smashing neophyte. What do I know? Already printing 500 “All Nuts For Walnuts” T-shirts that will go on sale on the MH merchandise site. Coming soon.

Uluru Springs

Australia has rightly been called “a sunburned country,” but not at the moment. This is the world famous Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock, located in the heart of the continent (Australia, much like the USA, is sparsely populated in its geographic center).

Ulure ordinarily looks like this (below), but recent storms have created a very rare occurrence of water falls rushing down its myriad faces.

What will God think of next?

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | Leave a comment

by John Walters

Stop The Bleeding

Is this photo for real? Is that the Boulder shooter and is the official on the right actually applying something to his right thigh/hip to stem the flow of blood? Why isn’t he punching him in that spot?

Madness.

Oh, and by the way: Young (21) male? Check. AR-15? Check. Under-sexed? Most likely, check. Angry at the world for what a failure he is? Will go out on a short limb… check.

By the way, the U.S. hadn’t seen a highly publicized mass shooting ( > 4 people killed) since the start of the pandemic a full year ago. Now we’ve had two in less than a week. Ten people killed at the King Soopers in Boulder. Thanks a lot, Pfizer/Moderna.

Yes, there were more deaths by gun last year ( >40,000) in the USA than ever, but more than 23,000 of those were suicides.

Elgin Baylor

Elgin was just a little before our time, but the Hall of Famer who passed away yesterday at the age of 86 has long been hailed as the forebear to Dr. J and MJ and even Kobe. The 6’5″ D.C. resident averaged 27.4 ppg and 13.5 rpg over a 14-year career. Those figures are, respectively, 3rd-best and 11th-best all-time.

Baylor played all 14 seasons with the Lakers (Minneapolis/Los Angeles), eleven of them in the Hall of Fame. He played alongside two of the game’s all-time greats: Wilt Chamberlain (the GOAT, I’ll hear no arguments) and Jerry West (the logo).

What’s Up With Watson?

Remember when Deshaun Watson, then a rookie with the Houston Texans, was known for doing kindnesses for the team’s clerical staff? The former Heisman Trophy runner-up who’d led Clemson to a national championship had a sterling reputation.

Now, in the span of a month—and it should be mentioned, in the midst of a fractious relationship with Texans management—14 different women have filed lawsuits of sexual predation against him.

Where are we here? There’s a lot that’s foggy, including the fact that Watson has yet to be charged with any crime. Stay tuned. All’s we know is that Watson’s chances of appearing in a State Farm commercial with Jake are next to zero.

A Season On The Brink (Of Glory)

This young lady is 6’4″ Stanford freshman Cameron Brink, whose top-seeded Cardinal play later tonight on ESPN2. Besides looking as if she just stepped out of Frozen or a Vogue shoot, Brink is (this is from SLAM online) “…also the goddaughter of Dell and Sonya Curry, who were close college friends of her own parents at Virginia Tech. Her dad, Greg, was a teammate of Dell’s, while mom Michelle was a star hooper who roomed with Sonya, a Hokie volleyball standout.“

Brink considers Steph Curry, who plays up the 101 in the Chase Center for the Warriors, to be like a “big brother” to her. A consensus Top 5 prep player out of Beaverton, Ore., last year, Brink is Stanford’s leading rebounder and averages 10.1 points per contest. I don’t make the rules here, and no one is claiming she’s the next Diana Taurasi, but this is the type of player ESPN will fall madly in love with: she’s got America’s Next Top Model looks and an intriguing back story.

She seems thrilled here (Why can’t I be on Instagram right now?). She’s grown up.

Who Is Nestor?

MAGA congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FLA) recently referenced his “son” Nestor, 19, who is not his biological son nor is he even legally adopted. Nestor, a Cuban refugee, just happens to live with Gaetz. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

This one just doesn’t wash. Sorry. I’m not finding people who are in Gaetz’s demographic to be overly empathetic to the plight of non-whites, particularly to the extent of sharing a home with them…. unless… unless…

I lived in New York City a long time. A long, long time. I recognize this trait in people I’ve known. Am I stereotyping? You betcha. Am I wrong? I don’t think so.

WHAT WOOD YOU DO?

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

This morning Cathie Wood, the founder and CEO of ARK Investment Management, put out a note that she foresees shares of Tesla (TSLA) quadrupling in value to $3,000 by 2025. It’s worth noting that Wood, 65, was named “the best stock picker of 2020” by Bloomberg News.

We’d note the similarities between TSLA now and AMZN five years ago. By 2016 AMZN shares had already had a fabulous run-up, just as TSLA has made a 700% gain in the past year or so. And people were wondering how much higher AMZN, then selling at under $700 per share, might go.

TSLA is selling at just under $700 per share right now. AMZN is selling at about $3,100 per share today.

Who will remember this blog post in four years, besides Jacob Anstey and Susie B.? Who knows? Who knows if Susie B. is even still out there or if she’s burning incense and olive leaves in hopes that Sweet Pea’s ankle will recover in time for the postseason?

Anyway, I dunno. But I’d be very, very surprised if TSLA stock is not selling for at least $2,100 in 2025 and even that would be a 200% gain. In a post-Robinhood world, that’ll look very good in your portfolio.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

A Song Of Ice And Fire

A volcanic eruption in Iceland, as if that nation doesn’t already have a surfeit of natural wonders. Meanwhile, above, a divine marriage of technology and nature. Shot by drone. Not an opening for a new season of Game Of Thrones.

https://twitter.com/WUTangKids/status/1373830744775258119?s=20

These gawkers do realize that slipping into a flow of lava is instant death, don’t they? Have they never watched a James Bond film?

The Jean Genie

The unofficial mascot of 2021 March Madness: 101 year-old Sister Jean of Loyola, whose Ramblers advanced to the Sweet Sixteen. She’s older—by nearly 20 years—than the NCAA tourney itself. Loyola is one of ELEVEN schools that were seeded five or spots below the team they beat this weekend and we’re not even fully to the Sweet 16 (the previous record through two rounds was ten).

Fast forward two years when Betty White, now 100, wins an Oscar for her portrayal of Sister Jean in Rambler Resurrection. It’s the role that White was born (in 1923) to play.

As of this morning, the tourney still has UCLA, whose 11 national championships are the most in the tourney’s history, but the next four biggest winners—Kentucky, North Carolina, Duke and Indiana—did not even make the tourney.

The tourney has never been set up better for a Gonzaga triumph. The Zags are undefeated and could become the first school since the Hoosiers in 1976 to cut down the nets with an undefeated record.

The Chase

I only caught the last 20 minutes of it, so I’m unable to endorse my channel guide rating of two stars for The Chase, a 1966 film that aired on TCM on Friday. However, if that rating is accurate—when’s the last time you saw a Guide synopsis that read “a disappointment”?—we may have a winner in the “Best Cast, Worst Movie” sweepstakes.

Look at this cast: Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, Robert Redford, Jane Fonda, Angie Dickinson and the immortal Miriam Hopkins (one of Hollywood’s most luminous starlets back in the ’30s). And yet the movie was a pfffft, both critically and commercially. And not even bad enough to be a cult classic.

Although, it is odd (and SPOILER ALERT here) that a film based in Texas a few years after the Kennedy assassination has as its dramatic climax a captured man being gunned down by a stranger who steps out of the crowd as he’s being escorted by a lawman to jail. A little too on the nose and a little too soon, no?

Foooooore!

This kid better make his high school’s golf team this spring.

Just Stay Tuned

Hey, JW, do you just post Rex Chapman tweets in order to avoid having to write more or to avoid posting political stuff about how 21st century Republicans are flat-out garbage?

That’s a very good question. But this is a quality video, no?

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | Leave a comment

Good morning….I said, “GOOD MORNING!” That’s a lady who’s been to church on Sunday all her life.

by John Walters

Stop Your Sobbing?

On the one hand, women’s college basketball stars such as UConn frosh Paige Bueckers sound hopelessly naive when they tweet or IG about the paltry workout facility they are given, particularly relative to the men, during the tournament. After all, the men’s tournament will net the NCAA, in TV revenue alone, approximately $700 million in the next two-plus weeks. The women’s tournament? About $30 million.

Separate AND unequal.

On the other hoop hand, Paige Bueckers is herself at least 20x the attraction that most of her playing brethren are. And yet she gets the same deal—a full scholarship, room and board—that an eight-minutes-a-game reserve on a 16-seed does.

The NFL Cashes In

Yesterday the NFL signed new media rights agreements with CBS, NBC, Fox, ESPN and Amazon collectively worth about $110 billion over 11 years. The deals will begin in 2023 and run through 2033.

The deals are also about a 100% markup from the current NFL deal, which was already exorbitant. What’s happening here? The NFL realizes that traditional networks are making one last stand to stave off obsolescence, so it soaked them for all they’re worth. It’s like knowing, as the head of state, that we’re all moving to electric vehicles, but extracting one last political contribution from Big Oil or Detroit before we make the transition final. Smart.

Uh Oh

https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1372745500101857280?s=20

It feels like this is every Fox just-off-air moment. Right before they put back on their masks of “patriotism” and “Christian values.” And while there is nothing ethically wrong with vaping—other than it makes you look like a douche—it’s wonderful to see Hannity caught being who he actually is.

Coaching

Michigan State is up 44-31 just before halftime versus UCLA when a blown assignment on a switch leads to a Bruin bucket at the buzzer. Do you have a problem with how Tom Izzo handled this? With how Spartan player Gabe Brown reacted to Izzo?

I really don’t myself. Save it for the comments. I’d love to hear what you think.

UCLA rallied from five down in the game’s final 90 seconds to force overtime and then win.

Vanderwaal’s Forces

I did not know about teen sensation Grace Vanderwaal one week ago. Now I do. She is an incredible talent who, still only 17, writes and performs her own songs. This, below, was the Suffern, N.Y., native’s introduction to the world at age 12 in 2016.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNxO9MpQ2vA

Miracles have come true for Grace. But I truly worry about where she’ll be, emotionally and mentally, in a year or two. She’s already dyed her hair pink AND then shaved her head. You’ve seen the VH-1 Legends docs. So have I. We know where this is headed.

“You Don’t Give Awards To Comedians”

There are two Jerry Seinfeld award speeches on YouTube well worth your time. This one and the one where he accepts a Clio. In both Seinfeld simply truth-abuses the very people who are lauding him. It’s hilarious and honest and yet… there he is, accepting the awards.