IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Voter Suppression = Oppression

On the first day of early voting in some parts of Georgia, voters waited more than five hours to cast their ballots. In some parts.

In predominantly white and upper-class Buckhead, though, voters waited up to 15 minutes to cast their ballots.

Meanwhile in Texas, they’re suppressing votes by limiting counties to one mail-in voting box per county.

While in Virginia… I wonder if “accidentally” is an accurate term here.

Things that make you go hmmm….

One Flew Over The Cabbie’s Nest

(Lloyd, seated behind Nicholson)

Last week we watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest on Netflix. If you have not seen the 1975 film that stars Jack Nicholson, a reminder that it takes place (and was filmed at) in an Oregon mental hospital in which Randall P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) plays a sane criminal who gets himself dropped into a loony bin. His nemesis is Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher) who controls the ward with passive-aggressive domination.

Three notes: 1) This was the first movie since It Happened One Night (1934) to do the five Oscar sweep: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Screenplay.

(Martini [Devito])

2) This was the first of three iconic films that were filmed in Oregon in the 1970s. The other two? Animal House and The Shining (which also starred Nicholson).

3) A savvy viewer of sitcoms will note that Danny Devito and Christopher Lloyd (his first film) play two of the patients in McMurphy’s sphere. And our first thought was, How cool that they would both go on to star in Taxi. And then we thought about it a little more and had the penultimate epiphany: Taxi is One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest!

Think about it: Mean-spirited dispatcher Louie DePalma stands protected behind a cage prodding and provoking the cabbies. His decisions affect their welfare. Alex Rieger (Judd Hirsch) is the sane McMurphy character dropped into the loony bin who spars often with Louie. The rest of the cast sits around and plays cards and some are highly mentally unbalanced: Latka, Reverend Jim (Lloyd) and Tony (Tony Danza), particularly.

Has anyone made this connection before?

Jim Brown Vs. Lester Maddox

We went down a YouTube wormhole late last night and found a 1970 episode of The Dick Cavett Show in which the guests were retired NFL superstar Jim Brown (I think some would now refer to him as a “social justice warrior”) and Georgia governor Lester Maddox. You must watch these clips.

Note how Brown keeps brushing at his pant leg as a way of maintaining his calm. It’s like a post-hypnotic suggestion. Note when Maddox basically originates the “All Lives Matter” rejoinder. Note how often Maddox interrupts both Brown and Cavett. Note how, in the first segment, Cavett recognizes that this is cracklin’ good television and lets the two combatants slug it out themselves, remaining silent for minutes on end.

Slayer Pete

He will be our president some day


If you recall back last winter, Mayor Pete Buttigieg was always our choice as the Democratic nominee. He was the smartest candidate, he had the most impressive resume (Harvard and an actual Rhodes Scholar, Ms. McEnany, plus a stint in the military… he volunteered) and he would have been the most confounding opponent for Donald Trump to debate.

In a profile story today, the Los Angeles Times refers to him as “Slayer Pete” and notes that he “walks softly and carries a sling blade.” Well done.

Last week we noted how Mayor Pete just destroyed Fox News hosts on two separate occasions. Here he is again, destroying the semi-informed on the topic of late-term abortions:

Burr-ning Down The House

I can’t remember the last time, if ever, that a Saturday Night Live host probably would have been better off just leaving 30 Rock after the monologue. There may not be a more palm-of-your-hands audience than the one that an SNL host meets, but somehow comedian Bill Burr managed to alienate most of them in seven short minutes. Wow.

Listen, if something is funny, I don’t care whom it offends. And some of this was funny. The months thing at the end, while not entirely original, is somewhat funny. But man, the verbal assault on white women… Wow. Listen for yourselves if you have not yet heard it.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Bo-Ring

Did the Lakers win the NBA championship, or did LeBron James? I’m sure Susie B. will have plenty to gush about in the comments, but we watched no more than two minutes of all six games of the NBA Finals. When the league’s flashiest franchise pulls in two of its top five players to form an insta-team, yes, we acknowledge their superiority, but it does not much fascinate us.

Two notes worth noting: 1) The Lakers were 57-0 this season when taking a lead into the fourth quarter. That’s more impressive than the championship. 2) Adam Silver pulled it off: the NBA not only got through The Bubble but did so without a single positive coronavirus test. Well done.

Spanish Bull Dozer

Another French Open, another Rafael Nadal grand slam title. This time Rafa defeated Novak Djokovic, making a nice recovery from his early U.S. Open exit, in straight sets.

If you’re snoring at home, Nadal has now won 13 of the past 16 French Open singles titles. He has won seven of the other three Grand Slams, total.

Nadal and Roger Federer are now in a dead heat for the most Grand Slam singles titles with 20. Djokovic, a few years younger, has won 17. Wait them out, Novak. Wait. Them. Out.

Hand Him The Theismann

Dallas Cowboy quarterback Dak Prescott suffers a gruesome ankle injury in the Stars’ defeat of the winless New York Giants. It looked Theismann-esque but Joe’s was even more gruesome as it took place higher up on his leg. And yes, both injuries came against the New York Giants.

Worse for Prescott, he rejected a long-term contract in the summer and took the Cowboys’ franchise tag, essentially a one-year deal. He was betting on himself in free agency next offseason. Now his career may be over. We’ll see.

Fumble-Screwski

In Auburn, Arkansas gets hosed when the referees fail to recognize Tiger quarterback Bo Nix’s backward pass spike, a.k.a. fumble. The Tigers kick a game-winning field goal moments later.

Believing Las Vegas

The Las Vegas Raiders (“YEAH RAIDAS!”) become the first team to defeat the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, 40-32. In K.C.. The Raiders and Chiefs have a long and quite hostile history so this was nice to see. Does this mean Derek Carr gets his own State Farm commercial soon?

Elsewhere, the Bears and the Browns are 4-1. What is this world coming to?

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Pete’s Draggin’ (Fox News)

With his signature student body sergeant-at-arms visage and choirboy face, Mayor Pete Buttigieg calmly trolled Fox News and MAGA not once but twice this week. Will they ever invite him back?

“Now Let’s Introduce Michigan’s Starting Offensive Line. At Right Tackle”

The FBI arrested 13 men, all from Michigan, who were allegedly plotting to kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer. You can read more of the details here. Things to note:

  1. All were men
  2. All were white
  3. I’m guessing most were hirsute

The six original plotters reached out to a group of white supremacist militia who refer to themselves as “Wolverine Watchmen.” This is what happens when the Big Ten football season is delayed and hunting season has yet to begin.

By the way, what if they had succeeded? Who in the federal government (outside of the FBI) would have stepped in to stop this revolt? Would Trump have called in the National Guard?

The Big Fat Metaphor Staring Us All In The Face

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdAEtkjDO3k

Two news items that happened earlier this week that it took us a day or two to connect. Last weekend President Trump was administered steroids and as he has said a few times publicly since, he feels great. “Better than I did 20 years ago.”

Of course, every Sanjay Gupta you know has cautioned that steroid act as an anti-inflammatory. That is, they do nothing to cure the illness but only to mask its symptoms. At some point Donald Trump is going to need to be weaned off his steroid treatments (or, knowing him, not be weaned off and then he’ll develop other steroid-related symptoms that’ll be worse) and that fall will be precipitous.

Meanwhile, as the stock market continued to roar northward it was announced this week that the federal budget deficit reached an all-time high of $3 trillion. But hey, we’re preparing a second stimulus package so the economy must be good, right?

Masking the symptoms of the illness without actually treating the illness. The Trump presidency has been an administration on steroids: doing things that help or mask the fundamental problem in the short-term but really only putting off the inevitable. Chickens always come home to roost (which is yet another metaphor).

Which is why these Trump/steroids and boom economy/federal deficit threads are so perfect. It’s the same exact thing happening.

May The Fours Be With You

Even Tom Brady is not perfect. If you had Brady with the ball and down a point to the Chicago Bears and losing, you’re wiser than we are.

Of course, this sideline public chastising of teammates minutes before his gaffe does not look so good in retrospect:

Star, 80

Today would have been John Lennon’s 80th birthday (and if you saw Yesterday you remember that very poignant scene near the end in which Lennon would have lived out his days by the sea, happy but in obscurity. Imagine…).

Often referred to as the true lyrical genius behind the Beatles’ music, Lennon is, and probably so, but I’d say that post-Beatles Paul and even George recorded better songs (at least for these ears). But here’s one we always liked, up above.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

A Bug’s Life

America was watching the vice-presidential debate and suddenly a new incarnation of The Ring broke out. Mr. Pence, please check your fly.

A Blessing From God

A few thoughts here:

  1. Area man owns stock in Regeneron.
  2. We do know someone who does not know the definition of “therapeutic.”
  3. It shouldn’t have taken your contracting Covid-19 to “get it,” but now is there a way you might possibly get pregnant?
  4. All the vaccines/shots are going to be free? Really? How’s that work?

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Eddie Shredder

One of the true legendary guitarists of the rock era, Eddie Van Halen, passes at the age of 65. From lung cancer.

“Panama,” “Eruption,” “Runnin’ With The Devil,” “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love,” “Dreams” and even the guitar riff on Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.” Eddie authored all of them and always with that impish grin. A virtuoso on the ax, sure, but that impish grin always reminded fans that the co-founder of Van Halen was having fun.

From Van Halen’s eponymous debut album, which opens with the band’s greatest song (“Runnin’ With The Devil”), and then leads into the above Eddie guitar solo masterpiece “Eruption,” there was little doubt that Eddie was as gifted a technician as any guitarist of his era. Prince and he were at a different level than everyone else. And then he went ahead and married his twin-from-another-mother, Valerie Bertinelli, and they had a son, Wolfgang.

(Fun, silly, and hard-rockin’: Van Halen)

Eddie and his brother Alex, the band’s drummer, were born in the Netherlands. We saw them play once, in early 1984, during their tour supporting the album of that name.

Donald Chump

Remember that guy who did not pay income taxes in 10 of 15 years since 2000, paid $750 the year he became president, and who just took a helicopter to and from a 3-day stay at a hospital the cost of which (the stay, the helicopter rides, the Secret Service detail, etc.) had to exceed $500K, easy? That guy?

Yeah, well he just told Americans who are desperately seeking a stimulus package to pound sand. President Donad Trump said he won’t even engage in negotiations until after the election. Trump’s reasoning, if you can call it that, is that he does not want to allow Nancy Pelosi and the Dems to waste a single second of Mitch McConnell’s time because he needs Mitch to fast-track Amy Covid Barrett to the Supreme Court so that she can help illegally give him a second term.

Meanwhile, millions of Americans (not this one) will struggle to pay bills and thousands of businesses will fail the next few weeks. The guy who never pays for anything is holding America’s tax dollars hostage and telling everyone, You’ll get it after I’m elected.

In short, he’s black-mailing America the way he did anyone who ever did business with him. And you rubes voted for him.

And Now A Few Words From The Most Inarticulate President of Your Lifetime—And You Were Alive For George W. Bush

We counted the word “dominate” three times in the 86 seconds during which Trump spoke here. It says a lot about his warped life perspective: You either dominate or you are dominated. Harmony? F*** that.

https://twitter.com/mattdanzico/status/1313555589247754240?s=20

Also, there was the usual parade of ignorance and arrogance (“I may be immune, I dunno”) that accompanies any Trump talk of more than 30 seconds that has not been ghost-written for him by someone else. Speaking of which…

Coronavirus Infected With Stephen Miller

Poor coronavirus. Some of it is trapped inside the white supremacist walking corpse that is Stephen Miller. Pray for the coronavirus.

The Nearly Perfect Storm

If you combine their 6-0 postseason run that just ended with a WNBA championship with their regular season record, the Seattle Storm went 24-4 this season.

Now, consider that 24-4 record. In her final three seasons as a UConn Husky, Storm point guard Sue Bird lost four games total. In her four seasons as a Husky, Storm MVP Breanna Stewart lost five games.

This 24-4 season would have been the 2nd-worst season either Bird or Stewart ever suffered in Storrs (UConn went 29-5 Bird’s freshman year, which is slightly worse than 24-4 %-wise). From Storrs to Storm, these two have become legends.

In the first game of the Storm’s three-game sweep of the Las Vegas Aces, Bird had an incredible 16 assists while Stewie poured in 37 points. Two of the best all-time.