By Michael DePaoli

It’s like a coup d’etat inside-job….

1. TRUMP POLICIES TAKING SHAPE

With Donald Trump flip-flopping on just about every issue during the campaign, it has been difficult to know what he would really do as President, but finally his policies are being revealed:

DRAIN THE SWAMP: Yeah, right!

ETHICS: None.

CONFLICTS OF INTEREST: There will be no conflict with a country in which Trump has business interests.

ISIS: Trump’s plan is to allow Russia to solve this problem, because he wants to allow Russia to spread its influence.

MIDDLE EAST PEACE: There will be no peace until Trump’s crusade against the Muslims can run its course.

JOBS: You will be fired from your job at the Justice Department if you might be honest and want to obey the law.

HEALTH CARE: Trump does not care.

PACIFIC TRADE: Trump wants to allow China to control the entire Pacific region.

EUROPEAN UNION: Trump is opposed to something that works well, and therefore he must destroy the Union that has created the longest reign of peace on the European Continent.

CROWD SIZE: Trump is willing to lie about something completely insignificant, like crowd size. This means that he is more than willing to lie about anything, anytime, anywhere.

GOVERNMENT DEBT: Add it up, keep spending,

LOWERING TAXES TO FULFILL HIS CAMPAIGN PROMISES: Not really a top priority right now, especially since we now know that Mexico is not going to pay for that stupid wall.

THE CONSTITUTION: Trump never read it.

MEGALOMANIA: Yes.  (Ed. Note: Melaniamania: No.)

UNITING THE COUNTRY: No.

2. ESTABLISHMENT CLAUSE 

It’s as if Trump and Bannon are on a crusade

The United States Supreme Court in the 1947 Everson case explained the prohibitions of our government on the issue of religion:

“The ‘establishment of religion’ clause of the First Amendment means at least this: neither a state nor the Federal Government can set up a church. Neither can pass laws which aid one religion, aid all religions, or prefer one religion over another. Neither can force nor influence a person to go to or to remain away from church against his will or force him to profess a belief or disbelief in any religion. No person can be punished for entertaining or professing religious beliefs or disbeliefs, for church attendance or non-attendance. No tax in any amount, large or small, can be levied to support any religious activities or institutions, whatever they may be called, or whatever form they may adopt to teach or practice religion. Neither a state nor the Federal Government can, openly or secretly, participate in the affairs of any religious organizations or groups, and vice versa. In the words of Jefferson, the clause against establishment of religion by law was intended to erect “a wall of separation between church and State.” 

Everson v. Board of Education, 330 U.S. 1, citing, Reynolds v. United States, supra, at 98 U.S. 164. (You can read the entire opinion on the Justia website.)

The Executive Order on Immigration violated the Establishment Clause in many ways, but the two most important violations are these: (1) There was a clear intent (Trump admitted as such) to prefer and benefit the minority Christians in the Muslim nations; (2) It punishes people for being Muslim in a Muslim country, which is another way of saying that the Executive Order intentionally targeted Muslims (Trump’s campaign promises confirm his intent to target Muslims).

To the extent that existing law will be followed by the Courts, the Executive Order on Immigration is unconstitutional.

3. GREATEST QUARTERBACKS OF ALL TIME 

Johnny Unitas: Not on the list

TOM BRADY

PEYTON MANNING

ELI MANNING

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

RUSSELL WILSON

AARON RODGERS

JOE FLACCO

DREW BREES

WARREN MOON

Please note, this is not a Hall of Fame list. This is a list of the best. Dak Prescott, Tony Romo and Matt Ryan did not even make this list. Ok, go ahead, leave a comment, and explain why Brett Favre and Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas should have been included. And then, please think about what you would really (really really) do if you were the owner of a team and you had to spend one hundred million dollars and you had to draft the quarterback and you wanted the “best” for your team. And, please do not do that sophomoric thing where you quote stats, because the question of the best quarterback must be fairly phrased: If both players were on the same team with the same offensive weapons and the same line, which one would perform better, and which one would be more likely to get the ball into the hands of the receivers?

Please, no ad hominem attacks. I have heard enough lawyer jokes this year, already. My methodology for this list: I went back to 1998, and the hapless Arizona Cardinals, the year they actually won a playoff game for the first time since 1947, and I asked myself how all the other great quarterbacks would do on that same team, and whether they would survive the season.

(Ed. Note: I’d put Roger Staubach, Montana, Fran Tarkenton, Ken Stabler and Kurt Warner on that list. Also, I don’t know if this is an ad hominem attack, but “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! I fart in your general direction!“)

Michael DePaoli accurately predicted “golden showers” in his NSFW ebook: LOKI TRUMPET, which is a completely fictional story (that does not in any way depict actual people) wherein a wealthy man runs for President of the USA.

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Small Potatoes

As we head into Day 13: America Held Hostage, here’s a reminder (from Jeff Pearlman and others) that Donald Trump destroyed the USFL in much the same way he’s currently harming the United States. All the moves are similar.

The video above is from the very first ESPN 30-for-30, and the title was taken from a dismissive quote Trump gave director/producer Mike Tollin.

I encourage you to read Jeff’s blog entry from yesterday. Jeff is working on a book about the USFL, the late, great American spring football league. Also, read this letter that Jeff unearthed….

2. It’s Another Day of Trump

(Can we lease this tune from La La Land, have Angela Parrish re-record the song with those lyrics, and use it as an intro to all Trump reporting?).

It’s too exhausting to cover Donald Trump extensively day in and day out. That’s part of their program. So here’s some quick hitters:

—David Brooks in “the failing” New York Times on the Faustian bargain GOP leaders followers have made with Donald Trump…

–More than 1,000 State Department officials worldwide have signed a letter of dissent concerning Trump’s ban-not-a-ban on citizens from the seven predominantly Muslim nations. Go, State!

Yates. You know Trump hated to fire a woman who looked this good

–Out as attorney general: Sally Yates, who was heroic. In as Supreme Court nominee: Neil Gorsuch, who has an impressive resume. By the way, when did high-ranking legal minds become so middle-age attractive? We’ve come a long ways since Anton Scalia.

For fans of comedy, check this out:

—Jon Stewart appears on The Late Show, predicting future Trumpian fiats and pointing out that inadvertently “45” is making America great again by inciting activism by his millions of detractors.

—Sean Spicer keeps repeating that it “is not a ban” even though his boss tweeted that it’s a ban. NBC’s Kristin Welker: “The president himself called it a ban. Is he confused or are you confused?” Reminder: This is NOT a Coen brothers film. It’s real life.

–This is what Fake News looks like. Consider who tweeted it. This is why we’ve been calling them Faux News for so long. The suspect was actually a white French-Canadian. Fox only apologized after Canadian PM insisted they do so:

.

3. Ollie, Ollie, All Come Free!

Go, Ollie, go!

Have you seen this bobcat? This is Ollie. He went missing from the National Zoo a couple of days ago, although he’s reportedly been spotted this morning not far from the facility. Also spotted? The zoo’s leopard, though he’s not missing.

I’m rooting for Ollie to remain on the lam, because freedom trumps security, even if it poses a little more danger. Maybe Ollie is simply trying to send America a message. Where is the National Zoo located again? That’s correct: Washington, D.C.

By the way, the zoo insists that Ollie, 25 pounds, poses no danger to humans but 13 schools near the zoo have canceled recess in the wake of his escape, because America may have one bobcat on the loose, but we are a nation full of ‘fraidy cats (and overly litigious individuals).

4. Here Comes Isaiah

Isaiah is headed to Athens

Only one school in Rivals’, Scout’s and ESPN’s top seven recruiting rankings has not played for or won a national championship in the past 20 years. That institution? Georgia, which is ranked third in two of the services’ rankings and second in the other’s. Kirby Smart is doing work in Athens in his second season.

The above gargantuan is 6’8″, 354-pound five-star offensive lineman Isaiah Wilson of Brooklyn Poly Prep. He’s the Dawgs’ top recruit.

Walker Little at Houston Episcopal. Well, that doesn’t seem fair….

If you are an Irish fan, it should concern you some that Stanford nabbed not one but two offensive lineman rated higher than Wilson: 6’6″, 315-pound Foster Sarell out of Seattle is the No. 14 player on Rivals’ list while 6’8″, 305-pound Walker Little out of Houston is their No. 7 stud (maybe Christian McCaffrey left too early?). Little was a high school teammate of defensive tackle Marvin Wilson, Rivals’ No. 2 overall player who as of this morning had yet to commit (but the guess here is LSU).

Above, that’s Joe Spivak of Montini Catholic in suburban Chicago. He has chosen to walk on at Northwestern. He’s a future pie-eating contest All-American.

5. Apple Soars

Tim Cook: coastal elite. Give us more.

Tech, and the iPhone, isn’t dead yet.

Apple, the greatest thing that gets regularly maligned that isn’t LeBron James, announced its quarterly earnings report after the bell yesterday. The Cupertino, Calif., based  company, which was founded by the son of a Syrian refugee and oh, just happens to have the largest market cap of any company on the planet, reported a record quarter in revenue ($78.4 billion). It’s the first better-than-expected quarter for Apple since last January, when Tim Cook’s company posted a then-record-quarter of $75.9 billion.

Apple’s stock is up nearly 5%, from $121 to $127 in pre-market. It’s not at an all-time high, but it’s getting closer.

Coming later this week: Facebook will announce earnings after the bell today and Amazon will do so after the bell tomorrow.

Music 101

On A Carousel

Why did Graham Nash, singing lead here, leave The Hollies? I’m asking, I don’t know.  Granted, his next band (Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young) did okay. This English band was like the turn-of-the-century Lakers: as great as they were, just imagine how much more they would have done had they kept Kobe and Shaq (hey, that’s Shaq and Kobe) together.  In this case, Nash, Alan Clarke and Tony Hicks.

The song was released in February of 1967 and reached No. 11 on the Billboard charts, but greater than that, it may have inspired one of Don Draper’s greatest ad pitches, if not his very best. Riding along on a carousel/Trying to get back to you….

Remote Patrol

All About Eve

TCM 8 p.m.

It’s the best month of the year—Oscar month—for TCM and they’re kicking it off with the only film besides Titanic and now La La Land to garner 14 Oscar nominations. It won for Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor as well as four others. If you’ve never seen Bette Davis, this is your must-see viewing. Also, a very early-in-her-career Marilyn Monroe gets a scene or two. Trust me, millennials, you’ll love this.

by John Walters

Starting Five

Effie Trinket wishes you luck!

May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor

No one likes the idea of citizens being targeted for violence by anyone. And yes, a number of civilians have been murdered by radicalized Islamic terrorists here in the U.S.A. since 9/11. In the fifteen-plus years since the World Trade Center came down, let’s add up Boston, San Bernardino, Fort Hood and even Orlando (though I think that last dude was a man who was simply ashamed to be both Muslim and gay, but let’s add that tragedy to the list) and Fort Lauderdale: in deaths, that’s 3 + 14 + 13 + 49 + 9 = 88. I’ll even toss in six randoms, not that we have any proof of such deaths, but let’s round it up to 100.

Think of the safe space you could build with this….

Now, let’s look at how many people have won just the Powerball lottery (excluding MegaMillions and other state lotteries) since 9/11, with a typical payout of around $100 million. The very lowest payout was $10 million, while the highest was $1.58 BILLION. And the number of people who’ve won such a prize in the past 15-plus years? 170.

So, since 9/11, you’ve had nearly 2:1 odds of winning an average of $100 million as opposed to being killed by a terrorist. Not the same odds: no, nearly twice as great a chance. Is there a single day in your life when you’ve walked around with as high of an expectation—not hope, but expectation—of winning Powerball as you’ve had fear of a Muslim terrorist?

P.S. The next Powerball lottery drawing is tomorrow with a Jackpot of $206 million, though if you take the payout instead of the annuity it’ll only be $124.4 million (sad face emoji)

2. Effie’s Not Finished

The good news is that archery deaths are down

Ah, but violence isn’t a cash windfall. No, it’s not.

So, let’s examine the numbers again.

And, because I’m in such a magnanimous mood, let’s round that 85 number up to 100. AAAAAAAAND, let’s add the horrible deaths in the 9/11 attacks: 2,996. So, we’re looking at approximately 3,080 American deaths due to radical Islamic terrorists in the USA since the turn of the millennium. Which is awful.

Now, let’s examine how many Americans were MURDERED by guns between the years of 2011-2015. Not the entire 17 years, but just a five-year period. And these are murders, not suicides, and not unintentional gun accidents. Murders:

57,820.

In 5 years.

Versus 3,080.

In 17 years.

You were more likely to be killed by Viggo Mortensen in “A History of Violence” than by a Muslim terrorist

Stay with me here. Let me extrapolate that five-year period times three to bring it closer to, but not equal to, the 17 years of the millennium. 57,820 x 3 = 173,460.

Now, 173, 460/3,080 = 56.3

These are the numbers. And here is the logical conclusion: In the 21st century, you were 56 times more likely to be murdered by a gun than you were by a terrorist (and again, I ‘ll be overly magnanimous here to the other side and say you were at least 54 times as likely to be murdered by an American with a gun than by a terrorist).

Does that mean guns should be banned? No.

But when White House press secretary Sean Spicer scolds the press as he tries to defend unconstitutional executive orders by saying, “This is about protecting America,” let’s remember, it isn’t. Until the White House OR Congress is even close to being as concerned about gun violence which, again, you are FIFTY-SIX TIMES as likely to be a victim of, as they are against foreign-born Muslims or Muslim refugees, let’s understand that there’s no logical reason for prioritizing “homeland security” above sanity.

This is about fear-mongering. Why? A populace that is 1) stupid and 2) afraid is extremely easy for a plutocracy to control. Please use your minds. This isn’t about protecting you. It’s about being able to run a totalitarian government inside of a supposed democracy.

3. On The Markkanen

As the mock drafts for the NBA draft continue to be updated over the next few months, look for Arizona freshman Lauri Markkanen‘s name to rise on the charts. The seven-footer from Finland is shooting better than 50% from beyond the arc having attempted 107 threes this season.

There are only a handful of Division I players, literally fewer than 10, who have shot that accurately this season, and none are seven-feet tall and/or playing for a Top 10 team. Markkanen is averaging 16.8 points per game and 7.6 rebounds for the Cats, and again he’s a freshman. He put up 30 versus Arizona State earlier this month.

Markkanen, whose parents both played hoop, will be a Top 5 pick and you’ll hear the Porzingis comparisons all spring

4. Lane: Pacific About Atlantic

Commit to the Owls! Coach @Lane_Kiffin is bringing in the best recruits. Now we need the best fans!

Commit Today!https://t.co/Z6u9knOFu9 pic.twitter.com/KGMAFYDmD3

— FAU Football (@FAU_Football) January 27, 2017

In this promotional video for his latest school, Florida Atlantic, Lane Kiffin looks less than enthused. Or, perhaps, hung over? A victim of sunstroke? Does anyone watching this video want to play for the Owls, much less buy tickets to see them play? The school’s marketing department needs to show Kiffin this video below, and then immediately have him go out and reshoot that spot:

5. Under Armour Under Water

Now he’s crying

Speaking of “We Must Protect This House” (Trump Job 1), Under Armour stock (UAA) is down 25% this morning (Down $7.72 to $21). The company had a bad earnings miss and CFO Chip Molloy, who joined the company only a year ago, is stepping down “for personal reasons.”

Reserves

The Brady 6

There IS crying in football

I highly recommend, as your pre-Super Bowl viewing, to go to YouTube and find the ESPN doc, The Brady 6. It not only talks about the six quarterbacks drafted ahead of Tom Brady in the 2000 NFL draft, but it has some great nuggets and interview with Brady during his peak-hair era. I’ll give one away: Brady was the backup quarterback on his freshman high school football team that finished 0-8. The backup. You’ll have to watch to hear what he told Robert Kraft upon first meeting him and you’ll be blown away by Brady telling the story of the day of the draft. Watch it if you’re a football fan. It’s worth it.

Music 101

Hey, Soul Sister

This is the best Jason Mraz song that Jason Mraz didn’t actually write or record. Yes, this is Train and their monster hit that I must have heard one million and thirty-seven times while working at the cookoutateria in the summer of 2010. But you have to give it them: it’s catchy. This was the second-best selling song of 2010.

Remote Patrol

Georgia at Kentucky 

9 p.m. ESPN

Why are we watching? Because it’s Brent Musburger’s final game. We’ll miss you, pardner.

by John Walters

Starting Five

Make Immi-Grate Again

From Airport To Deport

On Friday and without warning Donald Trump signed an executive order banning immigrants or even people with passports from Syria, Iran, Iraq (yes, the one we invaded without cause), Libyra, Somalia, Yemen and Somalia. Americans, to their credit, protested en masse. Countries that were not included in the ban? Saudi Arabia, Egypt and the United Arab Emirates, the home counries of the 9/11 attackers.

And then you come across this little chart that explains a lot….

Why won’t any elected officials in support of the ban explain this? pic.twitter.com/5Q6qDXumQK

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) January 29, 2017

And here’s Trump earlier in the week mansplaining what he’s about to do without spelling it out. If I were sitting next to a guy on a flight or in a bar or even a family reunion who was talking this way, I’d be like, “Excuse me, Dwayne, I’m needed back on planet Earth.”

2. SAG Fights Back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gHGwFTMXm0

The Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards took place last night, and you just knew there were going to be some pissed-off millionaire liberals in that crowd. Julia Louis-Dreyfus (making her second appearance this morning) had a few words about the immigrant ban.

Pretty good night for the Louis-Dreyfus/Hall clan, as Northwestern beat Indiana to improve to 18-4. Combination of a much improved Wildcat team under coach Chris Collins and an uncharacteristically lame year of Big Ten hoops. The Cats, whose roster includes Louis-Dreyfus’ son Charlie Hall, should make it to their first NCAA tournament ever this March.

3. Rockwell, Not Orwell

“The Golden Rule” from 1961

There may be no artist who better depicted The Exceptional American Century than Norman Rockwell, the illustrator who was born before an American man harnessed flight (1894) and died after another American man stepped on the moon (1978). Rockwell’s work was featured on the cover of The Saturday Evening Post, the most important magazine in this country from the 1930s to the early 1960s. His illustrations captured the essence of the America that the MAGA gang looks longingly back upon.

“New Kids On The Block”

And yet Rockwell, who was born in New York City and lived most of his adult life in Vermont and western Massachusetts, was an early advocate of tolerance and diversity and civil rights. It would be nice if some of those people longing for a more Rockwellian America knew that Rockwell would have been highly opposed to what’s happening now.

“The Problem We All Live With,” 1964

4. The Best Ever

Serena celebrates

Serena Williams, 35, won her record-23rd Grand Slam singles title of the Open era, breaking the tie with Steffi Graf, by defeating sister Venus in the final of the Australian Open, 6-4, 6-4. Only Margaret Court, who won 24 in the pre-Open era, now has more.

Fellow 35 year-old Roger Federer defeated Rafael Nadal in five sets as well, to extend his record for men’s Grand Slam singles titles to 18. Nadal remains at 14. That’s a pretty memorable weekend down in Melbourne.

5. Miss Universe 2017

This photo will likely soon appear in a hallway of the White House

Miss France, Iris Mittenaere, wins the Miss Universe pageant (Does Donald Still own that?). My guess is she’ll be the first winner of a major “sporting” event invited to the White House.

The event was held in Manila, The Philippines, and for some reason Steve Harvey was allowed to host again. Mittenaere is a dental surgery student from northern France. Miss Haiti was runner-up.

Music 101

Ramble On

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3HemKGDavw

This song appeared on Led Zeppelin II, which was released in 1969. There are references J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord Of The Rings with “depths of Mordor” and “Gollum, the evil one.” The band never performed this song, which did not chart in the U.S., live in its entirety until the reunion concert in 2007 (which drummer John Bonham missed, of course).

Remote Patrol

Duke at Notre Dame

7 p.m. ESPN

This will be Grayson Allen’s final trip to South Bend

The Irish (17-5) have lost three of four after starting out 16-2. The Blue Devils (16-5) have also lost three of four and, like Notre Dame, lost their last outing by two to an unranked ACC team. And Coach K. has banned them from the locker room and won’t allow them to wear their school-issued workout gear. I hear tonight’s game will be shirts versus skins.

by Michael DePaoli

HIDING THE EPA CLIMATE PAGE 

Do you want to know why Donald Trump wants the Environmental Protection Agency to scrub its website? When you go onto the EPA website you are going to find various explanations about climate change and greenhouse gases. One of the pages is entitled “Climate Change Science.” And, as you could guess from the title, the EPA has compiled facts and evidence which you can read on this page and on the various links. This type of science reporting by a government agency is anathema to people like Trump because he does not want to admit that climate change might be real, especially when it might interfere with his own opportunities (and the opportunities of various members of his Cabinet) to make a profit. When you follow the links on the website you are going to find a report called: The Impacts of Climate Change on Human Health in the United States: A Scientific Assessment. Here are some excerpts from the scientific report, which was intended to analyze health effects and make projections for the future:

“Every American is vulnerable to the health impacts associated with climate change.”

“In the next several decades, storm surges and high tides could combine with sea level rise and land subsidence to further increase coastal flooding in many regions. The U.S. East and Gulf Coasts, Hawaii, and the U.S.-affiliated Pacific Islands are particularly at risk.” 

“A warmer future is projected to lead to increases in future mortality on the order of thousands to tens of thousands of additional premature deaths per year across the United States by the end of this century.” 

So, as you can plainly see from the above excerpts, allowing the EPA to use real science in order to give facts and evidence about future health impacts from greenhouse gases and climate change is something that must be stopped.

OUR ENTIRE COUNTRY IS FEELING THE BERN

As Democrats (and even some Republicans) start to comprehend the reality of living under a sociopathic and paranoid President Trump, here is my retrospective that explains how and why Hillary Clinton lost: (1) Bernie Sanders bribed voters with his socialist/communist message of free college tuition, free health care, reverse NAFTA, break apart the largest financial institutions, tax the greedy Wall Street people. (2) The RNC and several Conservative PAC’s cheered for and actually promoted Sanders. (3) The Democratic caucus system in some states (that is used to lower vote totals so the process can be controlled by insiders) made Sanders more of a legitimate candidate. (4) While Sanders was having some moderate success, he viciously attacked Hillary Clinton and called her unqualified to be President. (5) The presence of independent and socialist Sanders in the race divided Democrats, and some Democrats began the Bernie or Bust movement. (6) The constant media attention granted to Trump meant that the sociopath was part of our lives, and his every move was followed fervently by the press. (7) Trump lied and made promises (i.e. drain the swamp) that he had no intention of keeping, and he bribed people in key states by promising new jobs (in effect, Trump was actually better at making hollow socialist type promises than even Bernie Sanders, which was bad because the people in key states had already been conditioned to receive such promises by Bernie). (8) The email non-scandal against Clinton (that received far too much press attention), the hacking of the DNC, the Feel the Bern movement, the vicious attacks that Sanders leveled agains Clinton during the primary, Bernie’s extreme reluctance to support Hillary unless the entire party could be moved in a socialist direction, and the bad faith of the FBI investigation, all gave the general appearance that the Democrats were in disarray. (9) Hillary is a woman, and our country is still sexist and discriminatory. (10) Bernie Sanders won the Democratic primaries in Wisconsin and Michigan, and he had a strong showing in Ohio, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, which ended up being the key states that propelled Trump to victory. Thank you, Bernie.

USAIN BOLT

The Telegraph (UK) reports that Usain Bolt has been stripped of a gold medal in the 4x100m race that he won in the 2008 Beijing Olympics because his teammate, Nesta Carter, was found to have committed a doping violation which was detected upon reanalysis of his urine and blood samples. The sad (or interesting) part of the story is that out of six runners who have times in the 100m race below 9.79 seconds Usain Bolt is now the only one who never has been found to have committed a doping violation.