IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | Leave a comment

by John Walters

Tweet du Jour


Nature ALWAYS adapts. When will man learn?

Starting Five

It was a chippy match, and Ronaldo (who got a yellow card), might have deserved a red card late

Portugal Escapes

If you were glued to the set on a Monday afternoon watching Portugal trying to desperately elude Iran in a soccer match, you’re not alone. The Lisbon gang hung on for a 1-1 draw with the upstart Iranians, who had a golden chance at a go-ahead goal in stoppage time that would have knocked Ronaldo & Co. from the World Cup, but it was shanked wide.

Portugal gets Uruguay in the Round of 16. Spain gets Russia.

2. Hogs Get Slaughtered

In the past 24 hours, in a two-fer only he is capable of, Donald Trump took on a black Congresswomen and one of the most iconic middle-aged American white guy brands that has ever existed: Maxine Waters and Harley-Davidson.

Over the weekend Waters, who will turn 80 later this summer (hopefully), reacted to the Red Hen Kerfuffle by advocating more grass roots defiance. “If you see anybody from that Cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd, and you push back on them,” Waters said at an event in Los Angeles. “You tell them they’re not welcome anymore, anywhere.”

Well, that sounds more like harassment than free speech, and maybe “push” was the wrong word choice. No, it definitely was. But then Donny Sr. tweeted a not-so-veiled threat:


Then yesterday Harley-Davidson, responding to the tariff war Trump initiated, announced that it would shift SOME of its motorcycle production overseas. See, Donald decided to put tariffs on European imports, thinking they’d cower as if the Republican party has, but instead the EU struck back with tariffs that would add a 31% increase to the price of a Harley in Europe, so the Wisconsin-based manufacturer announced it would some of its production to Europe.


Now Donny is threatening that H-D will lose its “aura.” It’s so maddening when all the subjects don’t kiss your ring, isn’t it, Donald?

 

3. But Would You Bake Them A Cake?

ESPN’s Body Issue made its debut yesterday and Olympian couple Sue Bird (hoops) and Megan Rapinoe (soccer) made quite the splash. Another former UConn Player of the Year, Breanna Stewart, also shows up. UConn women’s hoops must lead all teams in Body Issue selections, as Diana Taurasi is a former model.

If we know Geno at all, he’s been making jokes about how it is a travesty that he has not yet been asked to pose, as he is the sexiest person in the UConn program (psst, Swin Cash is/was; has she been asked?).

4. Fox Plays Its Red Card

There’s a short connect-the-dots between Fox News and Vladimir Putin and we wonder if that had anything or everything to do with this puff piece Fox aired yesterday on Josef Stalin’s dacha, or vacation retreat, in Sochi. When a segment begins, “Think what you will about Josef Stalin….” WHAT?!?! The dude was responsible for the deaths of as many as 20 MILLION people. Think what we will?

The piece did delve into Stalin’s paranoia about being assassinated, but never speculated as to why. Maybe if they’d mentioned the millions of his own countrymen that he had executed? There’s pivoting to video and then there’s plain ol’ propaganda. You DO remember whose regime inspired 1984 and Animal Farm, don’t you?

5. And I Would Run 100 Miles

It was more than a little warm for this year’s annual Western States run across 100 miles of wilderness terrain in northern California. At the Mile 78 river crossing, the mercury climbed to 106 degrees. And yet overall winner Jim Walmsley set a new course record (as opposed to setting an old course record) while female winner Courtney Dauwalter ran the second-fastest female time yet.

Walmsley, who lives in Flagstaff, Arizona (of course), shaved more than 16 minutes off the course record, crossing the finish line on the track at Placer High School in Auburn, Calif., in 14 hours, 30 minutes and 4 seconds. Second place this year finished an hour and 24 minutes behind.

You may remember Walmsley as the man who two years ago was leading Western States and 20 minutes under the course record when he took a wrong turn with less than 10 miles to go and lost it all.

Dauwalter

Dauwalter, 31, finished in 17 hours and 27 minutes flat, an hour and 13 minutes ahead of the second-place finisher for females.

Walmsley is a north Scottsdale native who attended the Air Force Academy and then worked on intercontinental ballistic missile systems in Montana as part of his five-year service obligation. It was running outdoors in Montana (he’d been a standout cross-country guy at AFA) that made him fall in love with ultra trail running.

Crazy Fact: Walmsley’s high school teammate, James Bonnett, was the youngest Western States finisher (at the time), crossing the finish line when he was 18 years old.

Dauwalter, like Walmsley, was a varsity college athlete in the state of Colorado. She was on the Nordic ski team at the University of Denver. She’s now a school teacher.

Reserves

Watch…

Music 101

Wishin’ and Hopin’

Dionne Warwick originally recorded this song in 1963 and released it as a B-side. Dusty Springfield (above) heard it, recorded it, and then the song’s writers, the hit-makers Burt Bacharach and Hal David, leaked it to a New York City deejay (Dusty was ambivalent about stepping on Dionne’s shoes). It became a No. 4 hit in 1964.

 

Remote Patrol

World Cup

Iceland vs. Croatia

2 p.m. FS1

Nigeria vs. Argentina

2 p.m. Fox

Croatian striker Luka Modric has a checkered past….

Group D: Croatia is through to the knockout round. Iceland MUST win and hope Argentina wins and   Argentina MUST win and hope Iceland loses. Nigeria is in if it wins or draws (I figured this out on my own so it’s probably about 50% correct).

 

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 5 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet du Jour

Starting Five

1. Day Tripper

Not just the best thing we saw this weekend, but the best thing we’ve seen this year. Sir Paul is impossibly gracious, humble, warm, funny, sweet, insightful and altruistic. Also, the execution of this idea was imaginative and inspired. We’ll say no more other than to suggest that the long and winding road is a glorious one, for all of us.. Simply watch and remember that these are the final lyrics from the final recorded Beatles song….

And in the end,

The love you take,

Is equal to the love you make….

2. Plucked From The Red Hen

We wouldn’t have refused to serve Sarah Huckabee Sanders and her party, but we would have definitely separated the younger patrons from the older and not told either side where the other was seated. Then, as someone suggested on Twitter, we would have never brought out the meal and every time Sanders inquired about it, would have told our waiter to say, “I’ll have to get back to you on that” or “I”ll have to refer you to the kitchen.”


MH has obtained Sanders’ rescinded order: “bull-your-base and a Coke with no ICE.”

The restaurant’s owner, Stephanie Wilkinson, explained her actions and how the incident unfolded to The Washington Post. It is a little ironic, no, that MAGA types feel it is their right to refuse service to people based on their sexual orientation but are outraged when service is refused to them because they have a policy that directly contradicts Jesus’ most fundamental rule: Love one another.

3. Now THIS Is A Royal Wedding 

Everyone’s favorite Game Of Thrones couple (unless yours is Jamie and Cersei Lannister—ew, you’re creepy!), Jon Snow and Ygritte, got married for reals this weekend in Scotland. The King of the North getting hitched to a dead Wilding…hey, if Melisandre can give birth to a phantom demon, anything is possible.

Kit Harrington and Rose Leslie, both 31, wed near Inverurie and then, because of course Leslie’s clan owns a 900 year-old castle, the party retreated there for the royal bedding. The guest list included a number of GoT stars but, wisely, not Walder Frey.

There are a few folks out there, not nice folks, who are claiming this is the second royal marriage in the U.K. this summer with a bastard groom.

4. Senegal-Ease-y Feeling


Sure, we were gobsmacked by Germany’s stoppage time goal versus Sweden that halted the “From bad to Norse” path they defending champs were traveling. But it’s been impossible to ignore the pure joy that Senegal, which played to a draw versus Japan yesterday, brings to each match. The above was from a practice session. It’s almost as if these player don’t realize that they live in a sh*thole country.

5. Super Steeplers

Jager…meister

At this weekend’s USA Track & Field Championships in Des Moines, Evan Jager (men) and Emma Coburn (women) each won their seventh national championship in the event. Jager’s are consecutive, while Coburn has won hers over an eight-year period. Jager’s race was delayed nearly three hours by thunderstorms on Sunday but he said he’d have been willing to wait until 2 a.m. to run it.

We see the steeple, but where are the people?

The star the meet was Arizona State alum Shelby Houlihan, 25, who doubled up by winning both the women’s 1,500 and 5,000. The last woman to do that was proven drug cheat Regina Jacobs in 2000. Also, how can we get through this item without noting that Notre Dame alum Molly Huddle won the women’s 10,000? We cannot. We did not.

Houlihan upset Jenny Simpson in the women’s 1500

Note: The Western States, the granddaddy of 100-mile races, also took place this weekend. We’ll get to that tomorrow.

Music 101

Go All The Way

If you were a child in the early Seventies, you occasionally found yourself (on afternoons when it was too cold to go outside and play) sitting in front of the tube watching the Mike Douglas Show, a PG-rated afternoon talk show originating from Philadelphia. Somehow Douglas, the most gracious and polite of hosts (and a decent crooner himself) would book hot artists who’d then (almost always) lip-synch their hit tunes. Working in Mike’s favor: American Bandstand was also based in Philly. For bands, it was a two-fer.

Here are the Raspberries, whose lead singer Eric Carmen would have a hit solo career, singing about a girl asking a guy to, as the title bluntly states, “go all the way.” It was in the afternoon and I was probably eight years old, so I had no idea what he was talking about.

Remote Patrol

World Cup

Iran vs Portugal

2 p.m. FOX

The two earlier Group A matches won’t change the final standings: Russia and Uruguay are onto the knockout round of 16…their match is simply for seeding. This one is a win-or-go-home (and it’s a lot different returning to Tehran than it is to Lisbon) affair in Group B.  A draw sends Portugal and Ronaldo on to face either Russia or Uruguay.

By the way, Iranian fans are already doing everything in their power to help their side….

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Giancarlo Walk-Off

We turned the Yankee game off early. To be fair, we switched to The Philadelphia Story (“South Bend…it sounds like dancing”) at 8 p.m., in the 3rd inning. When we switched back to YES at 9:55 p.m. it was still only the bottom of the 7th inning and the Yanks trailed 5-3. We went to bed.

The Yanks would wind up winning 7-5, however, on a walk-off home run by Giancarlo Stanton, what is being called his first signature Yankee moment (I’m sorry, I think his two 5-strikeout games in one homestand in April were that). And he did crush that pitch by the Seattle reliever, a breaking ball on an 0-2 count.

As much as we’d like to credit Giancarlo, we gotta blame the Mariner reliever Ryan Cook for this one. As I watch the Yankees this season, and as someone who’d never seen Stanton play on a regular basis, I’ve learned one thing: NEVER throw Stanton a pitch in the strike zone, and ALWAYS throw him smoke. He can’t lay off smoke and it doesn’t matter where you put it.

Reaction to Cook throwing Giancarlo a breaking ball in the zone on an 0-2 count

Stanton is in the midst of his best week as a Yankee—four base hits in Monday night’s game, homers both Tuesday and last night—but he’s also third in the A.L. in strikeouts with 98. Not many of those third strikes are called. How anyone loses Stanton on an 0-2 count, much less allows a game-winning home run, is something I don’t understand.

2. ICE Capades

We don’t want to tell anyone how to do their jobs, but when you happen to be in the detention office business and your group of detainees are one ethnic demographic, then lying to them about your true intentions may not serve you well in terms of how history remembers you. As an example, “Let’s all go take a shower” comes to mind.

Now comes word that ICE has been lying to airlines, saying the kids they are transporting in removing them from their parents to detention centers, are “on a soccer team.” I guess it’s better than transporting them by rail car (also bad optics).

Meanwhile, President Trump signed an executive order yesterday saying that the government will no longer do the Sophie’s Choice things with kids and parents but that, per a quote from an HHS spokesperson, “There will not be a grandfathering of existing cases.”

Perhaps not the best term to use there?

3. Schmidt Happens


Yesterday on Twitter John McCain’s former campaign manager and frequent MSNBC guest Steve Schmidt announced that he was leaving the Republican Party. Our only question: What took you so long?

Next time, try a taco truck.

Meanwhile, every day we regret not having been more diligent about making “The Worst Wing” or “Another Day Of Trump” (which do you prefer?) a daily segment. We’d reserve for only the most Trumpian moments, which we’d classify as those that combine unethical behavior with overwhelming stupidity. Yesterday’s candidate was obvious: Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen deciding to dine out at a Mexican restaurant after her historically awful press conference talking about illegal immigrant children being separated from their parents.

4. Gimme Mitch?

The closest thing tonight’s NBA draft has to those halcyon days of Prom-to-the-NBA draftees is Mitchell Robinson, a seven-footer out of Pensacola (and, for his final two years of high school, New Orleans), who simply took a gap year after graduating high school in 2017.

Robinson enrolled at Western Kentucky, then left, then returned, then dropped out, all before the season began. He played on no teams this past year, but he is apparently a gifted shot-blocker and yeah, a seven-footer with a 7’4″ wing span.

Is he a first-round pick, as many experts think he should be? Maybe, but it may be worth noting that his birth date is April 1.

5. Say Goodnight, Grayson? 

The most well-publicized and overly polarizing college basketball player of the past four years, Grayson Allen of Duke, will likely be selected tonight somewhere in the final 10 picks of the first round. Any higher than that would be a major surprise.

In four years in Durham Allen won one NCAA championship and averaged 14.1 points per game. His best season was as a sophomore, when he averaged 21 ppg but also became infamous as a serial tripper. The 6’4″ Florida product is athletic (or, “insanely athletic for a white kid”) but seems to have had some of his thunder stolen by 6’5″ Donte DiVincenzo of Villanova, who also won one NCAA title and actually scored 31 points in the championship game. He’ll almost certainly be selected ahead of Allen.

Allen will have had SIX Duke teammates, including two this evening, selected as top 10 picks in the draft. Can you name them (We’ll put the answer below Remote Patrol)? Allen actually had a terrific NBA combine and you have to keep in mind that his scoring numbers would have been better if he’d not played with all those top 10 picks. It’ll be interesting to see where he goes and how he fits in with his pro teammates.

Music 101

Sugar Sugar

The number one single from the year 1969, a year that gave us Woodstock, Let It Bleed, Abbey Road and The Who’s Tommy, was this tune by The Archies, a band that in reality did not exist. The song was performed by a group of studio musicians (Ron Dante on lead vocals) managed by Don Kirshner and written as an accompaniment piece for the hit cartoon show, “The Archie Show.” The tune spent four weeks at No. 1 in the U.S., and eight at No. 1 in the U.K.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9nE2spOw_o

Remote Patrol

NBA Draft

7 p.m. ESPN

Here’s how we see the Top 5 going: DeAndre Ayton (Phoenix), Marvin Bagley III (Sac-Town), Luca Doncic (Atlanta), Michael Porter (Memphis), Mo Bamba (Dallas).

Answer: Jahlil Okafor, Justise Winslow, Brandon Ingram, Jayson Tatum, Marvin Bagley III, Wendell Carter.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 6 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet du Jour


This is beyond perfect. What he did to women, he’s now doing to the flag and the country. Thanks for the symbolism, Donald.

Starting Five

1. Russia Wins Nyet Again

Russia 3, Egypt 1. The Reds now have a +7 goal differential after two matches. The only other three host countries who have been that far ahead after two matches all went on to win the World Cup. So the question becomes, will Russia visit the White House after it wins (you bet)?

By the way, after yesterday’s upset wins by Japan and Senegal every continent except Australia and Antarctica (the latter is not entered) has a win in this World Cup already.

2. Dow and Out

After more than 120 years, General Electric is booted from the Dow Index. When the Dow was created in 1896, a dozen companies made up the index. Now the Dow is comprised of 30 companies and yesterday GE, whose stock is flagging ($12.75), became the final original member to disappear from it. Maybe they should focus on electric cars?

Walgreen’s will replace it. Relegation is not limited to soccer.

3. Luka vs. Deandre

Who’s No. 1? Luka Doncic is 6’8″, he’s 19, he passes like Magic Johnson, and he was MVP of the Euros last summer. His coach there, Igor Kokoskov, was hired two months ago by the Phoenix Suns (coincidence?). The former is Slovenian, the latter Serbian. Close enough.

Deandre Ayton is 7’1″, runs like a deer, has a soft touch from 15 feet, spent his final two seasons of high school ball and only season of college ball in Arizona, and wants to be No. 1. The Suns’ owner, Robert Sarver, is an alum of the school (U of A) that Ayton attended.

Do either of these ties matter? In a post-GSW NBA, does having a 7’1″ center matter as much as having a 6’8″ wizard who can stretch the half court? Can the Suns at least breathe a sigh of relief that Ayton doesn’t have a stage dad like LaVar or Marvin II?

The brain says Ayton. The heart says Doncic. We’ll see…

4. Talking Dread

If you ain’t Hearst, you’re last…

We don’t know the amiable, Jesuit high school-educated host of all those shows that air immediately after our favorite AMC shows do, but if we had to call this one, we’d side with Chris Hardwick and not his ex, Chloe Dykstra. But then who’d have thunk all that about Louis C.K. nine months ago?

Anyway, in reading up on Hardwick, the oddest thing we learned is that his wife is Lydia Hearst, which means that his mother-in-law is Patty Hearst, a woman who knows more than a thing or two about controlling relationships and being unjustly detained.

5. Grass Man


This man, Rodney Smith, Jr., was inspired to perform a single act of kindness and now it has turned into a crusade: mowing lawns pro bono for veterans and/or the disabled. He’s a mower and a shaker!

Music 101

Voices Carry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_0YTX9Hqr8

Aimee Mann is on tour and at age 57 she still looks like a supermodel and sings like an angel. Mann wrote this song in 1985 when she was the lead singer of Til Tuesday and it shot up to No. 8. If you’re nice, she’ll close with this song.

Remote Patrol

World Cup

Iran v. Spain

2 p.m. Fox

Weapons of Mass Destruction vs. the Inquisition. You make the call.

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 4 Comments

by John Walters

 

Tweet du Jour

Hot dog? No more.

Starting Five

President Trump, Kellyanne Conway, Melania, Rudy

From Here To Uranus

Yesterday President Trump called for the establishment of a sixth branch of the military, which he has dubbed Space Force. “When it comes to defending America, it is not enough to merely have an American presence in space,” said Trump. “We must have American dominance in space.”


You gotta remember, the only two things Donald Trump cares about are women and real estate. If he can’t f*ck it, then he wants to own it.

2. Tony Reali-ty Check

In the closing moments of yesterday’s Around The Horn, host Tony Reali discussed the personal pain of losing a child in child birth. The video speaks for itself. Well said. Reali had been off the show all last week and now we know why.

3. The Artois of the Deal

The first series of World Cup matches will end today and what we know is that northern Europe passed its first test. If your country is located along the  North or Baltic Seas, you’re happy. Winners thus far, sporting a 1-0 mark in the Group Stage: Belgium, Denmark, England, France, Russia and Sweden.

The irony of this, of course, is that northern European sides are 6-1, not 6-0. The lone loser? Tourney favorite and defending World Cup champion Germany.

Citizen Kane

For our Euro, the most impressive squad of that sextet and of the tournament thus far is Belgium, who took down Panama 3-0 yesterday. The Belgians face Tunisia on Saturday and then catch England later next week. The Limeys won in stoppage time yesterday when a Harry Kane header off a corner kick, his second goal of the match, broke a 1-1 draw in the 92nd minute.

4. Nielsen Ratings

White House Chief Prevaricator Sarah Huckabee Sanders didn’t feel like talking to the press about “kids in cages” (I feel confident this will be the central plot of “Coco Dos”) so she sent up Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen up there to do it for her.

Quick background on Nielsen: Florida-born, Georgetown-educated (then UVA law), both parents were Army doctors, never married, no kids (which means she must either be gay or a blogger). Anyway, I read the entire transcript and, sorry, kids, I’m on her side.

5. Power Powell Couple

Maurica

In a Pacific Northwest coup, the University of Washington has hired Oregon track coaches Andy and Maurica Powell to oversee their track and field program. After 13 years in Eugene, the couple will head the 6-7 hours north on I-5 to Seattle. Maurica has been named Director of Track & Field and Cross Country. Her spouse, Andy, has been named Head Coach of Track & Field and Cross Country.

We imagine the couple will figure out the division of labor between themselves. Both Powells grew up in Massachusetts and then headed west to run track at Stanford under Vin Lananna. When Vin left The Farm to head to Eugene in 2005, he took the two recent grads with him. There as associate head coaches, they oversaw the distance runners.

Andy Powell

. Oregon, with harriers such as Galen Rupp and Edward Cheserek and Matthew Centrowitz having trained under the Powells, has been by far the most successful track and field and cross-country program in the nation the past dozen or so years.

 

Music 101

Under The Bridge

When did rock groups stop writing classics? I don’t know, but it was AFTER this Red Hot Chili Peppers tune was released in 1992, back when MTV still mattered (the first Real World was the beginning of the end of MTV and the advent of reality TV). We don’t think we’ve EVER been able to listen to this song on the car stereo without singing along (at a disturbingly high volume and low pitch at the end of the song….it isn’t pretty).

The song, which was buried on Blood Sugar Sex Magik as the 11th track, is the band’s most successful single (No. 2 on the Billboard charts)

Remote Patrol

World Cup

Russia vs. Egypt 

2 p.m. Fox

Gotta go to Mo!

One country inspired the Pyramid Scheme. The other inspired Russian Roulette. You make the call. The Egyptians get back Mo Salah, who led the Premier League in scoring this year and took Liverpool to the Champions League final, where he was taken down on a dirty tackle and injured his shoulder. They need the win after a late loss to Uruguay last Friday.