IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

In the midst of a particularly hectic shift at the Cookoutateria Sunday (gorgeous weather) in which your author had to cover an ungodly three sections (18 tables) for a few hours, crankiness may have set in. We came across a table of two couples, and one of the men in the group had the book Too Big To Fail in front of him. “I know how that book ends and it isn’t good,” I said. “We all lose our jobs and have to work in restaurants.”

Starting Five

Live From New Bork

We all figured that Saturday Night Live would lead with Brett Kavanaugh as its cold open for its season premiere, but did anyone guess that Matt Damon would play the less-than-purest jurist? That Harvard-Yale rivalry never really ends, does it?

“I’m usually an optimist; I’m usually a ‘keg is half-full’ kind of guy…”

The cold open went roughly 13 minutes, which has to be near-record length in the show’s history.

Of course, the Weekend Update duo got involved as well. Colin Jost and Michael Che teed off on the SCOTUS confirmation hearings, with Jost getting off the most memorable line, as it pertained to Rachel Mitchell: “If you’re not the right person to ask questions at a Senate hearing, maybe you’re not the right person to be a Senator.”

Che: “I don’t know if Mr. Kavanaugh actually has a history of sexual assault of if he actually has a drinking problem, but I do know that he might. And you shouldn’t be on the Supreme Court if you might. You shouldn’t be on the People’s Court if you might.”

As we watched Damon spew out a credible Kavanaugh having had less than 48 hours to prepare, we couldn’t help but think of Good Will Hunting and the motley crew with whom our title character ran in that film (two of whom, besides Damon, have gone on to win Oscars). Will Hunting’s P.J. and Tobin and Squi were also delinquents to a degree, but here’s the funny thing about those adolescents: given access to a female, all of them were respectful.

2. Kavanaugh Karnival Kontinues

Okay, now what?

Both CNN and NBC News are reporting that the White House is limiting the scope of the one-week FBI investigation into the Kavanaugh allegations, which the White House and President Trump vehemently deny (does this sound familiar, or meta?). Anyway, given the track record with truth of both sides, I know which way I’m leaning.

We get it: This isn’t supposed to be a deep-sea fishing expedition. On the other hand, why the urgent need for alacrity? Could it be that the Repubs are frightened they won’t get a confirmation before the November 6 midterms, after which they might lose the Senate, after which they might not get the judge they want, after which they might not have a 5-4 conservative majority on the bench, after which certain influential judgments about presidential pardoning power may not go the way that President Trump wants?

Could that be it?

 


Meanwhile, this exchange between Scott Pelley of 60 Minutes and Senator Jeff Flake needs to be brought up again before the Kavanugh vote, if there is a Kavanaugh vote:

Pelley: “If Judge Kavanaugh is shown to have lied to the committee, nomination’s over?”

Flake: “Oh yes. I would think so.”

Devil’s Triangle is a lie. Renate Alumnius (sic) is a lie. Those are just two.

Here’s what we see happening, if indeed the FBI is being handcuffed by the White House: the Washington Post, The New York Times, The New Yorker and who knows who else out-investigates them. The evidence is too outrageous and too credible to ignore: remember, Christine Blasey Ford went from a WaPo story to testifying in front of 21 U.S. Senators.

At some point either Kavanaugh will withdraw himself, Trump will withdraw the nomination (if Flake and another GOP Senator let him know they won’t vote “Yes) to save face, or, and this is where it gets sad, the GOP will just ram him through, anyway.

3. Brain-Eating Amoeba Week?

The Texas surf ranch where Stabile likely met his fatal nemesis

A New Jersey surfer visited a water park in Waco, Texas, where he apparently contracted a brain-eating amoeba that eventually led to his death. Fabrizio Stabile, 29, of Ventnor, N.J.,  began suffering from crippling headaches upon his return from the Lone Star State. The extra cruel part of his death—and this not only feels like an episode of House, but as a New Jersey resident, he might’ve been sent to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital….if TV and real-life overlapped—is that diagnosticians at last figured out the cause of Stabile’s symptoms…one day before he died.

How crazy is that? One American surfer killed by a shark in the month of September, one American surfer killed by a one-celled organism in the same month.

4. Shades of ’88

Coney celebrates after his fourth-quarter interception

Stanford-Notre Dame was still a one-score game five minutes into the fourth quarter, but the final score of 38-17 is more indicative of how much better the Fighting Irish played. Five weeks into the season, the Irish are peaking (and yes, we know they lost their best player from the NFL’s perspective, right guard Alex Bars, for the season due to a torn ACL and MCL) and are 5-0.

The switch to Ian Book has been an unqualified success (we do remember suggesting Brian Kelly do this nearly three weeks earlier). He’s simply a better all-around quarterback than Brandon Wimbush: far more accurate of a passer, and far less prone to making negative plays. The rest of the offense has no first-rounders, but it’s deep and full of reliable players (even Alize Mack has become semi-reliable). The punter and kicker are both seniors, four-year starters, and again, reliable.

In Tony Rice, the ’88 Irish had a QB whose play was more redolent of Brandon Wimbush

And then there’s the defense. Much like the last Irish national championship squad, it has no one superstar but playmakers all over the field (Julian Love, Alohi Gilman, Jerry Tillery, Julian Okwara, Te’Von Coney, Drue Tranquill, Khalid Kareem, etc.). It’s funny, Notre Dame’s highest-rated defensive recruit of teh past three years, defensive end Daelin Hayes, is a solid starter but we doubt he’d make anyone’s Top 5 on this defense.

Kelly appears to have a cohesive team. Winning does that.

Does it mean the Irish can win the national championship? No, but we very much like their chances to make the playoff. We like the hungry attitude that has emerged the past two weeks. The attention to detail. The sure tackling. The improved rushing attack. All of it.

Just a note to keep in the back of your mind: Before the season opener against Michigan, the Irish invited the 1988 national championship team to take the field and form a tunnel for this year’s team to run through as they took the field. More than 60 players from that team showed up.

5. Indonesia

More than 800 perish in Southeast Asia after an earthquake creates another tsunami. The video is both awe-inspiring and disturbing, no? Nature is so powerful and had no sense of being sinister, and yet it can unleash such deadly fury.

Music 101

Hemorrhage

All those late 1990s bands—were they all the same band? Fuel, Tonic, Candlebox, Nickleback, Third Eye Blind, Goo Goo Dolls, Creed, etc? This 2000 song reached No. 30 on the Billboard chart, and was the band’s highest-charting song.

Remote Patrol

Tiebreaker Doubleheader

Brewers at Cubs

1 p.m. ESPN

Rockies at Dodgers

4 p.m. ESPN

The Rockies have been baseball’s hottest team the past two weeks while Milwaukee’s Christian Yelich, the presumptive NL MVP, the game’s hottest hitter. We like both visiting teams to take down the establishment powers today. It’s a double day of Doubleday’s game  to launch your October, the year’s best sports month. And here’s the weird part: All four of these teams will still make the playoffs. The losers meet in the NL wildcard win-or-go-home game on Tuesday.

Also, for what it’s worth, on an afternoon that will feel like you’re playing hookey, one game will take place at Wrigley Field and the other will have a pitcher named Buehler (close enough).

KAVANAUGHTY (Cont.)

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Note: It’s now Saturday morning and I didn’t want to alienate (even more) people on Twitter with Kavanaugh takes. Bottom line here: Whether or not Kavanaugh is innocent in the Ford case, his behavior and his duplicity during Thursday afternoon’s hearing, for me, disqualifies him from a Supreme Court seat. The real character of the man was exposed, and what we saw was someone who is petty, vindictive and partisan. Even sinister. These are not the qualities we’d want in any judge, much less a Supreme Court justice.

Been thinking about Kerfuffle Kavanaugh a lot the past 24 hours. I’m sure much of it has to do with the fact that he’s a contemporary (one year older) of mine with a similar high school experience: Jesuit all-boys’ prep school, football player, straight-A student.

The similarities pretty much end there [he may be mildly more successful than I am 🙂 ]. But I can picture a plausible scenario at that house that summer. Lifted weights that afternoon, went over to a buddy’s house, and there was plenty of beer and no parents. My guess is someone may have snuck into the liquor cabinet. It takes an awful lot of beer to lose your mind, even at that age, but some hard liquor serves as propellent.

You’re 17. On top of the world. You’re in the best shape, or at least the greatest strength, of your life. You’re giddy. You’re drunk. Then there’s this pretty blonde. She’s probably wearing shorts. She has a nice tan. You’re not even thinking. YOU’RE NOT EVEN THINKING.

You want to show off. Or your buddy does. You’re in football mode. On the spur of the moment you tackle her like she’s an opposing player. Next thing you know the hormones kick in. Your friend can’t believe it, and he’s laughing. His laughter spurs you on. You’ve never even taken a moment to think of her as a person. You’re just too into who you are and how the world is yours for the taking: school, sports, your future…a girl.

The entire incident lasts what, a minute? Somehow she slipped away and you and your buddy were still drunk and giddy and, as you would say to a class of students more than three decades later, “What happens at Georgetown Prep stays at Georgetown Prep.”

And then, 36 years after this alleged incident, one or two minutes in an otherwise highly decorated life, this moment reintroduces itself. And threatens to torpedo your entire career. Your glory. Your reputation. You are shocked. You are furious. All those years of studying. Of climbing the ladder. And you’re going to make THIS TINY indiscretion the defining moment of my life?!?

Hell no!

I don’t empathize with Brett Kavanaugh. I don’t doubt he had other moments of over-imbibing and generally behaving like an ass, even if he did not go as far as Christine Blasey Ford alleged he did in their encounter (though for all we know, he may have gone further on another occasion with another female; we don’t know).

There’ s a certain portion of Republicans who do not believe Ford. Another portion who believe that something happened to her, but that it wasn’t Kavanaugh. There’s still another portion who ask, Who cares? What’s the big deal if he did do it? He didn’t actually rape her.

However they may feel, Brett Kavanaugh has no one but himself to blame. First, for what may have transpired at that gathering that summer afternoon/evening. Second, and this is a person with extensive courtroom experience, because his go-to defense was to deny the verity of the claim as opposed to throwing himself on the mercy of the court (which this writer espoused he do more than one week ago).


Had Kavanaugh simply—and honestly— said something along the lines of, “It may have happened, but I certainly do not remember it. I don’t recall every time I had beers with my friends in high school and I don’t remember this incident. I don’t remember this woman. But if I did do this, I am profoundly sorry. And I was 17. And I’ve lived a clean life my entire life as an adult. Judge me how you will…”

If Kavanaugh had said that, he may have still been voted on to the Supreme Court. But even if he wasn’t, I can tell you this: he’d still have his reputation. Which is not to excuse what he did, but to place it in the prism of how male teenagers, inebriated ones, are capable of behaving. Not that I condone it, at all, but I understand how all the conditions came together for that to happen.

Brett Kavanaugh, a man whom Donald Trump described the other day as being “a highly intellectual genius,” made a boneheaded tactical maneuver. And it may cost him everything.

 

 

 

 

CHRIS’ PICKS!

by John Walters | Leave a comment

by Chris Corbellini

Friday News Dump: Week 4 Picks

I won’t bury the lead. I swallowed an entire donut last week.

I went 0-4. (Editor’s Note: And you want to be my latex salesman…)

So, allow me to take one step back from the wreckage, survey the scene as it burns to embers and a fading glow, and talk about pride and stubbornness.

Week 3 flashback No. 1: This is a matchup between a Super Bowl-caliber defense and a rookie QB. Plus, Cousins is rolling. I won’t overthink this, even at -16.5.

You see, I often present myself as a humble soul, a friendly guy.

Flashback No. 2: That duo, and a hungry, talented defense should be enough for Chicago to win by a touchdown. Wait, did I write should? They *will* win by a touchdown.

But beneath that smiling, introverted exterior lies a football arrogance so incandescent and terrible it could be an energy source for the five boroughs for more than a century.

Flashback No. 3: I don’t believe the hype yet. Show me something special at home, Kansas City. Go home and get your f-cking shine box.

If I do my own research, I think I’m better than the experts. Before I even started this, I thought with work I could consistently beat the house. As if nobody has ever thought that before.

Flashback No. 4: I see Patricia matching Bill Belichick move-for-move for a half, but in the fourth, Brady will hit tight end Rob Gronkowski over and over, and Gronk will go full barbarian.

Sigh. Breath in. Exhale. OK.

My pride has gotten me into trouble more than a few times over my career, and betting on football games is not a growth industry for prideful people (or anyone, really). And yet stubbornness propels me forward, to make some alterations to my research and finally listen to the opinions of others. I’m still a newbie at this. I’m like a workaholic who gave himself a heart attack, survived it, and then chased his new goal of improving his health and diet with the same zeal. We’ll see. Onward.

As always, William Hill odds. Home team in caps.

Eagles (-3.5) over TITANS

Even Ashlon looks a little dubious about Chris’ Picks this week….

The potential return of receiver Alshon Jeffery could add the “F-ck, he’s tall!” playground dimension to an already-talented Eagles offense, even if it’s just as a decoy (Jeffery has that shoulder issue and is also dealing with a “virus”). With Jeffery or without him though, I’m reminded of something a former player for Eagles coach Doug Pederson told me last January: “If it can be invented on offense, Coach Pederson will invent it.” I do expect some creativity against the Titans D, a unit that statistically has shown they can be beat by a No. 1 receiver.

Seahawks (-3.5) over CARDINALS

Look out for Josh RosenRosen

The right side of Seattle’s offensive line has been average at best, and on defense, cornerback Tre Flowers is not exactly Deion Sanders 2.0. So, sure, the Cardinals should probably attack Flowers whenever he’s matched up against Larry Fitzgerald, and hope the defense will have enough oomph against that Seahawks line. Arizona begins the Josh Rosen Experience this week as well, and while I don’t have enough tape (or anything, really) to suggest which way that’ll go, I’ve seen enough of Russell Wilson to know this is a chicken salad game for him. He’ll Roger the Dodger his way down the field, and pepper in some short strikes, to pull off the road victory.

BRONCOS (+4.5) over Chiefs

Rookie Bradley Chubb

Man, that line is just about perfect, with a 55 O/U, the highest of the week. And I’d take the over. KC’s linebackers can’t cover a beached whale and Denver’s secondary is overrated. This game has a 34-31 final tattooed on it, with the Broncos covering and holding on for the win.

CHARGERS (10.5) over 49ers

Too handsome, too rich, too talented. Nobody out-Tom Brady’s Tom Brady, and he had to pay for it.

My injury pick. The 49ers will put up some token resistance on the road, but the emotional blow the team absorbed after losing quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo to a torn ACL last week will be a factor in the second half.  Which begs the question: Were the football gods offended that Jimmy GQ went on a date with a porn star? Did they Release the Kraken on poor, handsome Jimmy? I doubt it. If the football gods always punished the whiskey drinkers and carousers in pro football, then Joe Namath would have been decapitated in Super Bowl III.

Still, milk drinker and prodigious family man Philip Rivers should have another big fantasy day at home, and maybe the ghost of Antonio Gates will wind up in the end zone as well.

Last week: 0-4
Season: 3-8
Ouch

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five

Grace And

 

Rage

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford went first. Controlled. Tremulous. Nervous. Collegial. Credible. Respectful. Helpful.

Then came Brett Kavanaugh. Unhinged. Defiant. Contemptuous. Self-righteous. Melodramatic. Combative.

She: pacific.

He: bellicose.

Forget about who’s the victim and who’s the suspect. Who’s the accuser and who’s the accused. Who’s a private citizen in California and who’s up for a seat on the Supreme Court. Which one of these two people seemed more emotionally intelligent? Who seemed to possess more sagacity?

2. Judge Not

Where was the alleged third person in the room, Mark Judge, yesterday? He was far, far away, holed up in a beach house in Maryland. It’s odd. Ford took a polygraph. She passed it. Kavanaugh had previously ruled that polygraphs are valid in a court of law. Kavanaugh refuses to take a polygraph.

Besides what that may tell you, let’s look at the third person in the room. He’s alive. He’s of sound mind and sound enough body. He could drive to the U.S. Capitol. Subpoena his ass. Bring him into that judiciary session. But they didn’t.

Why not? Because surely this conversation had already taken place. Judge had already decided that he would not perjure himself for Kavanaugh and that he did not want to tell the truth and see Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court opportunity go down in flames. That is, if you believe something happened.

If you believe nothing happened, then what is the harm of his testifying? It’s a fairly simple request.

Likewise, Democratic senator Dick Durbin bluntly asked Kavanaugh if he would support an FBI investigation into the matter. The judge simply stonewalled him. The look he gave Durbin is the same men give you when you ask them if they’d talk to their mothers or daughters that way.

There were so many ways to get closer to the truth on this issue, and at most it would’ve taken one more week. The Republicans were flatly unwilling to wait in their quest to get what they wanted. It’s as if they put their hand over the mouth of justice to keep her from being heard.

3. Risky Business

We’re one year younger than Brett Kavanaugh and we too went to a Jesuit prep school and played football. It was weird to hear him reference films such as Caddyshack, Animal House and Fast Times at Ridgemont High yesterday to explain away the “humor” in his high school yearbook. Those were influential films for teenage boys at the time, but it’s funny the films he chose not to reference that were just as influential, if not more: Risky Business and Porky’s.

We went back and re-read the opening scene from Risky Business, which is in fact a great movie. But listen to these young men, listen to the attitudes.

  

                   

She said that?



  

                   

What did you say?



  

                   

I didn't have to say anything.



  

                   

What did you do?



  

                   

What do you think I did?



  

                   

I think you got the hell out of there,

ran home and whacked off!



  

                   

I disagree.



  

                   

Did you have your bike there?



  

                   

I think you jumped on your bike,

pedaled home and whacked off!



  

                   

That's what you think, right?



  

                   

With Kessler sitting on the floor like that,

wanting me?



  

                   

No guts, Goodson.



  

                   

The problem was I just wasn't attracted

to her.



  

                   

That should never stop you.



  

                   

She seemed too big.



  

                   

It could've worked out.



  

                   

I thought I'd get into trouble.



  

                   

Sometimes you have to say,

"What the fuck!" Make your move!



  

                   

That's easy for you to say.



  

                   

You're all set.

You're probably going to Harvard.



  

                   

Me, I don't want to make a mistake,

jeopardize my future!



  

                   

Joel, let me tell you something.



  

                   

Every now and then, say, "What the fuck."



  

                   

"What the fuck," gives you freedom.



  

                   

Freedom brings opportunity.



  

                   

Opportunity makes your future.

Sound familiar?

4. The Calendar

July 1: “Tobin’s house workout—Go to Timmy’s for ‘skis’ with Judge, Tom, PJ, Bernie, Squi”

Is that something? Are ‘skis’ brewskis? Beers? What else could they be? Waterskiing? There’s Mark Judge. There’s PJ (Smyth). There’s two of the people who were supposedly in the house by Ford’s account. By the way, this wasn’t a PARTY. This was, in the terms kids refer to it today, was pre-gaming. The party before you head out to a party. Anyway…

If you read the exchange between Kavanaugh and the GOP’s self-appointed female proxy, Rachel Mitchell, yesterday, you’ll see that she comes to this date. She has Kavanaugh identify the names. But then, abruptly, she stops. Never asks him why this might not possibly be the date in question. Never asks him if there were any girls at this gathering. Etc.

It was right after this exchange, when Mitchell (again, the GOP’s hired gun) apparently found the date that tied Kavanaugh, Judge and P.J. together (plus the guy Ford was seeing at the time, “Squi”, which would explain why she’d be at the house), and when Kavanaugh for some reason I’ll never understand provided first and last names for all, that Senator Lindsey Graham went postal. We never heard from Mitchell again.

5. Female Moments

There’s so much more to be said about yesterday’s proceedings, but let’s leave you with a few female moments yesterday.

Ford: “Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter, the uproarious laughter, at my expense.”

Ford: “One hundred percent,” when asked what degree of certainty she had that it was Judge and Kavanaugh in that room.

And then this exchange between Kavanaugh and Senator Amy Kobuchar of Minnesota:


It’s funny. This is how Kavanaugh treats a female who challenges him when he’s sober.

Yesterday was a sad and shameful day in American history. As will be today, when the judiciary committee approves him.

And let’s not forget: The GOP Senate waited more than 120 days after Anton Scalia died, running out the clock on the Obama presidency when he nominated Merrick Garland for the Supreme Court. Let’s also not forget that the Democrats made no such effort to block another Trump pick, Neil Gorsuch, when he was nominated for the Supreme Court. In other words, the suggestion that Democrats are just trying to get revenge on the Trumpers, as Kavanaugh put forth, is baseless because he’s not even the first Trump nominee.

This accusation against Kavanaugh has nothing to do with him being a Trump pick (since he’s not the first). It has everything to do with what Kavanaugh allegedly did. And there was nothing in Kavanaugh’s behavior yesterday to suggest to me that he is not the type of man who would’ve done exactly what 17 year-old Brett did. He’s belligerent, entitled and duplicitous.

A man not qualified to judge, much less practice law.

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 5 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right


One of the few things Mr. Trump said yesterday with which we agree is that women are smarter than men (actually, he said he’s always said that). They’re also more nurturing, more patient and far more credible. Men are better tippers, though (just saying). There’s hearsay and there’s her say, and rarely do the two overlap.

Starting Five

Deface The Nation

President Donald Trump, feeling frisky on his home turf, held a bizarro press conference in New York City late Wednesday afternoon. We’ll just play the hits:

–“Yes, Mr. Kurd.”

–“They weren’t laughing at me. They were laughing with me.”

—

—“He said [China] has total respect for Donald Trump and Donald Trump’s very larrrrrge….brain.”

—“Not thousands- millions of people would have been killed. That could have been a world war. President Obama thought you had to go to war. You know how close he was to pressing the trigger.” 

On how he saved the world from war on the Korean peninsula.

–““Look, if we brought George Washington here and we said, ‘We have George Washington,’ the Democrats would vote against him…And he may have had a bad past, who knows, you know? He may have had some — I think — accusations made.”

As our pal Jamie Reidy said, “Wait’ll you see George Washington’s calendar.”

—“Say ‘Thank you,’ President Trump.”

—On the impact of today’s hearing with Kavanaugh and Ford: “This is a very big moment for our country because you have a man who’s very outstanding, but he’s got very strong charges against him, probably charges that nobody’s going to be able to prove. It’s happened to me many times, where false statements are made.

“In this case, you’re guilty until proven innocent. I think that is a very, very dangerous standard.”

(You know, like if you were to shout “Lock her up!” every time an innocent woman’s name was uttered)

—”You know what Elton John said about encores…”

2. Is Brooks Back?


Five years after vanishing without giving notice, proto-blogger extraordinaire Sports By Brooks reappears with one cryptic tweet referencing a wonderful moment from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

What’s next? Who knows?

3. Great White (Male) Wail

This segment on CNN, that ran after the Trump presser, is indicative of older wealthy white male rage. #TheWarOnMen Infamous Trump stooge Michael Caputo is more concerned about the futures of young boys who are accused of rape with “uncorroborated evidence” (news flash: most sexual assaults are not staged in the town square; most, but not all).

 Notice how frequently Caputo interrupts Powers (to be fair, she does note, probably accurately, that he’s a sexist and racist; he more than reveals himself to be a misogynist). Just as President Trump interrupted at least four female reporters as they tried to ask their questions earlier in the day. Just as MSNBC’s Chris Matthews interrupts his guests, more commonly his female ones.

It’s as if they all just want to put a hand over their mouths and turn the music up.

4. Dunkin Chic?

Yesterday America’s most popular donutery, Dunkin Donuts, officially declared that we should all get along on a first-name basis. “Just call us Dunkin’,” they said, and made it official.

Is this the most unctuous name change since Kaitlyn Jenner? Since P. Diddy? Since the Tampa Bay Rays? The Rock?

And how long before we’re just calling them “Double D.” or some other nickname that only serves to remind us of voluptuous pastries?

5. Emma’s Elk Run

Last year 2016 Olympic steeplechase bronze medalist Emma Coburn, one of our favorite people, did three things: won a world championship, got married, and along with her husband, Joe Bosshard, launched the Emma’s Elk Run 5-K in their home town of Crested Butte, Colo. “Joe said that of all the things we did in 2017,” Emma told us this morning, “that the Elk Run was his favorite.”

The Elk Run (named for the main street in town where it begins and ends) is a 5-K that will be staged this weekend in this Rocky Mountain haven, where the elevation (8,900-feet) greatly outnumbers the population (2,000). “There are three primary goals we had when we created this race,” Coburn said. “One, we wanted to be able to raise money for Living Journeys (a non-profit that provides care to cancer patients). Two, we wanted to create an event to give back to Crested Butte by bringing people here that will help local businesses. And three we wanted to create an event to support our other community, the elite running community.”

Course views don’t suck

Last year Emma and Joe capped the race at 500 entrants and had a goal of raising $10,000. They raised $19,000. This year the race is capped at 1,000 and they have a goal of $30,000.

As for  Crested Butte, which she refers to as “simply paradise,” the town is unflinchingly supportive. At the local movie theater Coburn’s major races are shown on the big screen and the newspaper chronicles her every race. “Everyone cares about you here,” she said, “no matter if you’re an Olympic athlete or not. That’s why I love my hometown.”

It’s an all-weekend event. There’s a Friday night pizza party at Brick Oven Pizza, where in high school Coburn worked as a hostess and busser before graduating to server. “I still like to go back into the kitchen and speak the lingo,” she said. ” ‘Eighty-six the peppers!'”

Then there’s the race on Saturday morning (Coburn’s parents’ garage is the unofficial storage space for all the swag bags, signs, etc. and her dad’s office doubles as the elite athlete lounge) followed by an ’80s cover band dance party. Coburn ran the 5-K last year but this year she plans on being its official ambassador, walking around and doing what needs to be done. One of Joe’s jobs is to wake up at 5 a.m. and mark the course.

We promised Coburn that we’re doing the race next year and we’re putting it down here so you hold us to it. And you’re invited, too. It’s already the second-best race in Colorado (in terms of drawing elite talent; this Saturday’s entrants include 3:51 miler Will Leer and Allie Kieffer, who placed fifth in the women’s division of the New York City Marathon last autumn) after the famed Boulder Boulder 10-K that is staged annually on Memorial Day.

Here’s what we love about Coburn: she’s literally in the prime of her career as the American record-holder in the steeple chase. And yet this week she was in Washington, D.C., to attend a conference about clean athletic performances and now she’s en route home to Colorado to stage a race in her hometown that will raise tens of thousands of dollars for cancer survivors. And in the midst of that she takes a moment to phone our humble blog and talk about it.

Emma Coburn and Joe Bosshard, and their family, are what it’s all about. If you want to visit a heavenly place, run a race and do something good for others, put Emma’s Elk Run on your to-do list. We have.

Music 101

Escape

We’ll never understand why this was the title track of Journey‘s most popular album, as the disc spawned four top 20 singles, plus another radio staple (“Stone In Love”), none of which were this tune. Still, we like it, and the band used it to open shows on their 1981 world tour. Plus, you get to see Steven Perry prancing all over the stage. No one pranced like he did. Count your blessings.

This tune would’ve been much more radio-friendly if it began at about the 2:40 mark. There are about four song component parts in it before that, with no dominant theme.

Remote Patrol

Kavanaugh V. Ford 

10 a.m. ABC CBS NBC CNN FOX News MSNBC (and probably PBS)

We like this photo because it shows where the president’s actual follicular fault line rests

The most important Supreme Court case of Brett Kavanaugh’s career, and he may never even have an opportunity to don the robe. Dr. Christine Blasey Ford is the plaintiff.