CHRIS PICKS! Week 9

by John Walters | Leave a comment

by Chris Corbellini

 

Week 9 Picks: Gambling Nation has arrived

“Man, forget fantasy and forget Vegas. We got the win, so that’s all that matters.” –NFL MVP candidate Todd Gurley

SportsCenter leads with stories of bad beats, Todd Gurley blows up Twitter after massacring gamblers by not scoring a late TD, and seemingly every headline in Sports Business Journal is somehow connected to a league and a new betting partnership. It’s not just sly Al Michaels references anymore at the two-minute warning. We’re past trending and on our way to full-blown craze when it comes to sports gambling. It all happened so fast.

But will it truly hit the mainstream?

Yeah, I say f-ck yes.

I mean, have you ever sat at a hot blackjack table on a Friday night? Or craps? It doesn’t happen every time you sit down, but when it does the room crackles with energy. It’s like the table is sharing the same three-drink buzz.

The moment a sports book figures out how to weed out the Off-Track Betting crowd, and make it more like a day-clubbing space in Vegas or a cheery spot to wear sundresses and fancy hats … not a back-room smoking section for pasty, down-on-their-lucks grinding away at $5 poker … then we’re at next-level tourism and commerce and acceptance. That’ll provide the sports betting blueprint for every book and casino, nationwide. And once someone figures out how to make prop bets and in-game stuff feel as sociable and trash-talky as season-long fantasy (we’re getting very close), then sports gambling gift certificate cards could be as popular as iTunes ones in your Christmas stocking.

But it’s more than consumer habits. As soon as monthly recurring revenue and royalty fees became factors and the New Jersey Supreme Court ruling went through, it was only a matter of time before the Big Four cannonballed into the gambling hot tub. The NHL recently signed a betting partnership and has a team in Las Vegas, the NBA made MGM Resorts its first official gambling partner, MLB has a partnership with DraftKings, and the NFL, I’m sure, is probably taking meetings with books and casinos on both coasts, with the renegade Raiders bound for Sin City as well. The projections are in the billions. With a B.

As long as pro athletes like Gurley continue to shrug when asked about the economics and stakes of betting on sports, the industry is in a good place. The social cost of the business is for another post, perhaps after the NFL season is over and all the Super Bowl action is over. Until then, here are the updated Super Bowl LII odds, which is a good a place to start when mulling over my picks:

Los Angeles Rams: 8-5
Kansas City Chiefs: 9-2

New England Patriots: 6-1

New Orleans Saints: 7-1

Pittsburgh Steelers: 7-1

Interestingly, two of these favs are scheduled to be the main event for Week 9: Rams at Saints, with the highest Vegas O/U of the slate (57.5). So I’ll start there.

As always, home team in CAPS, with William Hill odds.

Rams (+1.5) over Saints

I was genuinely moved by that you-couldn’t-have-scripted-this-better scene of
Drew Brees huddled with his kids after he broke the NFL’s all-time touchdown pass record last month. Brees told them, with the New Orleans crowd still at full-throat and losing it: “Hey, I love you guys so much. Hey, you can accomplish anything in life if you’re willing to work for it, right? I love you boys, I love you!” The quote puts a smile on your face just reading it. The moment belongs in a Disney movie … so cheesy it works for kids and adults alike. And with Papa Drew slinging it, this team is a Super Bowl contender, right? Fade to black. Credits roll.

But when you look at the Saints defense, that smile becomes a serious stare, and then your eyes glaze over. Holy hell, they are bad. The Saints are 32nd in the league against an opponent’s top receiver and No. 2 receiver, 30th against a running back in the passing game, and oh yeah, dead f-cking last overall against the pass. Otherwise, not bad — if that opponent decides not to throw the ball.

Starting this week the unbeaten Rams may start to feel the heat of competing against their own high standards … maybe that’s what this line is trying to tell us.  OK, maybe. I heard a great line this week from an actual working screenwriter, “It’s like diamonds on the floor,” and that’s a good way to describe all the big plays that are about to happen on both sides. But I believe LA will do a little more to get to 9-0.

Bears (-10) over BILLS
I don’t care about the -10 on the road. Nathan Peterman’s Pro Football Focus grade is in the goddamn 20s. I also entered the PFF grades of the starting lineups from this game into Excel, and the grading differential between Buffalo’s offense and Chicago’s defense is -19.1818, nearly two points per player. So many thanks mighty Excel, for crushing the dreams of Bills Nation. Let’s move on, shall we?

Packers (+5.5) over PATRIOTS

The “Aaron Is Pissed Off Game.” Rodgers was robbed in Los Angeles last week, the Packers traded away running back Ty Montgomery because of it, and now, at 3-3-1, you begin to wonder if head coach Mike McCarthy is next to go. But I just don’t see that happening. I just don’t see Aaron going quietly this season.

A win on Sunday night, in front of the quarterback Rodgers is most compared to in Tom Brady, could easily snowball into a six-game winning streak (the next five: at home vs. Miami, at Seattle, at Minnesota, home vs. Arizona and Atlanta). Plus, the Pats can’t seem to cover an opponent’s top receiver – they are ranked 25th in that category. A Bill Belichick defense is never caught unprepared, yes, but Rodgers is throwing missiles into the tightest of spaces, and Davante Adams is becoming that No. 1 who can beat any scheme. Taking a 30,ooo-foot view here (ooh, a workplace cliché!), this primetime bout is the season for Green Bay, while New England could lose until Thanksgiving and still win the AFC East with ease.

 Chiefs (-8) over BROWNS

Whatever. Cleveland’s defense may be friskier than usual under interim head coach Gregg Williams, and might get a few good body blows in early, but Kansas City has this one by 10. Too much speed. Too much everything.

Last week: 4-0

Overall: 12-17

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 4 Comments

by John Walters

The staff has exceeded the recommended daily allowance of being whelmed at the moment. We will try to post later. As always, we appreciate both your patronage and patronizing comments.

Starting Five

Petty Hate Machine

At his latest ego-shot stop, in Missouri, President Trump took his total lie tally as president up to 6,240, according to folks at The Washington Post who actually investigate such matters.

Meanwhile, Fox & Friends’ Ainsley Earhardt provided the perfect quote for these Orwellian with-a-splash-of-Catch-22-thrown-in-for-good-measure times:


“He’s saying if you don’t want to be called the enemy, then get the story right, be accurate and report the story the way I want it reported.”

She probably does not even understand the irony of this quote.

Here’s a column from Paul Krugman in today’s New York Times. You may disagree with what he’s saying because you do not like hearing it, but is there anything factually askew?

2. From A War With Iraq To A War With A Rock


If the commander-in-chief of the United States armed forces orders his soldiers to fire on mineral-toting refugees, are they obligated to follow that order? How does the chain of command work here? How large must the rocks be? Can we get a ruling on dirt clods? Rolled-up tortillas?

The above video may mark the first time you ever see a guest appear on a cable news program and declare, “I’m a former flight attendant!” as a means of providing credentials.

3. A Big Schtick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i0Krt006J0

You either groan at this type of humor from Seth Meyers or, like us, you absolutely bathe in it. Keen-eyed observers will note that Seth and his writers are borrowing from vintage Letterman bits (performed in the very same studio where Seth now does his Late Night show), Monty Python’s Flying Circus and even Batman (the original movie from the 1960s, which featured a plethora of slapstick, including a “Batmobile Parachute Pickup Service”).

Inspired stuff, all the way through, and take note how Meyers continually sounds both contrite and dismayed at how unworthy the segment is. That’s hair-shirting right out of the Letterman closet.

4. Colleen Kaepernick? 

Before last night’s much-heralded NFL debut of Nick Mullens, an unidentified member of the San Franciso 49er cheerleader squad, the Gold Rush, took a knee during the national anthem. Same stadium, same team. What will happen next?

Here’s the lineup if you want to take an uneducated guess as to who was the kneeler. One thing you’ll learn by perusing: there’s a Gold Rush member named Montana.

5. Farewell, Dr. Z

Legendary SI scribe Paul Zimmerman, conneisseur of the gridiron, wines and the fabulous redhead, passed away yesterday at the age of 86. No one at SI was more knowledgeable about the sport, no writer over the age of 45 took to the transition to the web more seamlessly (it was the source of a second, perhaps even more celebrated career there), and no writer was, to be honest, more of a bully to fact-checkers. Remember the deposition scene in The Social Network? Pretty much that every Monday.

This regular feature was both alluring and creepy, not unlike the annual swimsuit issue.

Remote Patrol

SUNDAY
Packers at Patriots 

8 p.m. NBC

Rodgers and the Packers prevailed in their only previous meeting, four years ago at Lambeau

Even the MH staff, which ordinarily does not begin watching NFL games until January, is eager for this one: the two greatest quarterbacks of this century meeting up in Foxboro for only the second time in their careers: 33 combined seasons, five NFL MVP awards, five Super Bowl rings, 83o touchdown passes, more than 129,000 yards passing. Statistically, you may want to elevate Brees or Manning or even Favre over Rodgers, but we’ll go with this pair because, on top of all the statistical superlatives, they know how to win games late better than anyone of their generation.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 1 Comment

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right


We wish we were as committed to anything as Holmoe is to his costume game.

Starting Five

Reverse!

One day after staging a press conference in which chairman of the board of trustees James T. Brady said that Maryland would retain coach D.J. Durkin and in which he also said, seriously, “There will be no third chance for any of those involved to get this right,” Maryland reversed itself and fired Durkin.


What gives? Was it the incendiary column by Sally Jenkins of The Washington Post that used “suppurating” in the lead paragraph (we had to look it up)? Was it the irate phone calls the switchboard received from Susie B., promising to take back her promise of all her Amazon windfall being donated to the school posthumously to help build a super monkey collider? Was it President Trump’s appeals to the school’s humanity?

Nope. President Wallace D. Loh simply defied the Board of Trustees’ recommendation, wisely taking heed of the outcry. As our friend Matt Zemek said, “When they go low, we go Loh.”

2 Rose, Bud

Purportedly washed-up former NBA MVP Derrick Rose drops a career-high 50 on the Jazz as the Timberwolves win 128-125. By the unofficial count of the MH Statistical Bureau & Haberdashery, that’s the fourth player who’s posted a 50-point game this season and that was just in October. Rose, 30, sets an unofficial record as the first survivor of 17 torn ACLs to score 50 points in an NBA game.

3. Enter Sandler Man


Clever and funny and true (if a little too much profanity for Phyllis) from Adam Sandler.

4. Birth White Citizenship

You can almost feel the love coming right through the page at you

In President Trump’s latest ploy to distract you from, among other things, the fact that no one has yet produced Jamal Kashoggi’s remains, yesterday he went off on rant about how he was going to revoke birthright citizenship, i.e., the right of being a U.S. citizen simply by being born here even if your parents are not citizens.

Alas for Trump, the 14th Amendment, ratified in 1868, says that “all persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States.”

So it’s a matter of having to overturn a Constitutional amendment as opposed to being handed a folder and, seated at your desk in the Oval Office, signing your name.

Of course, the other dealio here is that three of Trump’ children, Don Jr., Eric and Ivanka, were all born to a mother who was not yet a United States citizen. “Lock them out!”?

5. Hilton Rewards

We enjoyed this piece on LetsRun.com about marathoner Nick Hilton, who is unsponsored but has done the “Go West (And Find Altitude), Young Man” thing that so many recent arrivals to Flagstaff, Arizona, have done. Hilton is entered in the New York City Marathon this weekend and he won’t win (maybe he’ll finish in the top 10), but at the age of 29, the former Division II All-American at Lock Haven U. in Pennsylvania is chasing  his dream.

He may never be the best, but Hilton is determined to find out what is his best. Gotta respect that.

 

Music 101

Edge Of Seventeen

Before it was a movie, it was an autumn 1980 hit for Stevie Nicks that was blasting out of every woofer and quite a few tweeters. This was the third single off her album Bella Donna but the first that did not include a duet with a well-known male artist. For $500 and the opportunity to move into our lightning round, can you name those artists.

Remote Patrol

Temple at UCF

7:30 p.m. ESPN

The nation’s 2nd-best quarterback from Hawaii leading an unbeaten team from the South.

The Knights (not Golden, or Wayne for that matter) are undefeated and at No. 12 in the rankings. Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my closeup.

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 3 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right


If these two performed “Popular,” MH contributor Katie McCollow would simply lose it.

Starting Five

His name is Greedy Williams. Shouldn’t it be a coach who has the nickname Greedy?

1. No Big Deal…Or Is It?

The initial CFP rankings were released last night. Your top four schools: Alabama, Clemson, LSU, Notre Dame.

So you know where our affinity lies, but we really do our very best to be objective. So we’re just trying to understand this. And we write all of this with the following proviso: Yes, we know LSU plays Alabama on Saturday and will probably lose and then, should the Irish win at Northwestern (no gimme), then they’d likely move in to that spot anyway. We know this.

Having said that (famous Curb truism callback), let’s attempt to understand the logic of LSU ahead of Notre Dame. First, Notre Dame is undefeated and LSU is not. That’s, you know, kind of a big deal.

Julian Okwara (42) is one of half a dozen Irish defenders having a better season than the experts expected.

Not good enough for you? Next, Notre Dame beat the No. 5 school (Michigan) in the CFP ranking. That’s the best win of any of the top four schools. The argument is that LSU looked more convincing beating the No. 6 school, Georgia, than the Irish did against Michigan. Okay, we can buy that, but the Irish took the lead early against Michigan and led by two touchdowns at the end of the first quarter and for most of the second half. The Wolverines scored a late touchdown to make it a 7-point game (although CBS Sports’ Tom Fornelli reported it in his story last night as a 3-point win….people make mistakes).

You can give LSU the slight edge in the Michigan vs. Georgia wins if you like, but bending over backward for the Tigers (whom we love, too), it’s slight. I mean, aren’t the Wolverines everyone’s darlings and didn’t the Irish own them for most of the game (oh, and still win)?

Third, you look at the auxiliary wins. LSU beat Miami and Mississippi State, both of whom are somewhat overrated. Notre Dame beat Stanford and Virginia Tech, both of whom have had relatively disappointing seasons. Myself, I’d still call the Cardinal the best of that quartet of three-loss teams.

Either way, it’s splitting hairs between Notre Dame’s and LSU’s strength of victories, which means that the “-0” at the end of the Irish’s record should be the deciding factor as opposed to the “-1” after LSU’s.

And if it isn’t, then here’s a better question: Why isn’t LSU ranked second? Clemson doesn’t even have a win as good as LSU’s or Notre Dame’s (their best is at No. 20 Texas A&M) and they have the closest near-loss, to No. 19 Syracuse.

We get it: the eye test. Clemson does look better on film than everyone except Alabama. But this is where the SelCom always loses us: using data and/or analytics for some rankings and the eye test for others. It’s very Nate Silver of them.

Finally, we’ll say this. The best reason we can conjure for LSU being No. 3 is to soften the landing for Alabama in the unlikely event that the Tide fall in Death Valley this Saturday night. We can easily see the committee only dropping Alabama to 3, instead of further. We don’t see Alabama losing, but it’s a nice little insurance policy they’ve given the Tide.

2. Inside Job

Notorious Boston-based mobster James “Whitey” Bulger was killed inside his prison cell yesterday morning, just one day after being transferred to a facility in West Virginia. “”He lived violently and he apparently died violently,” said Dick Lehr, author of Whitey: The Life of America’s Most Notorious Mob Boss. “It marks the full circle of a terrible life.”

Folks will speculate as to the specific reason Bulger, 89, got fatally rolled in his jail cell, but we don’t think it’s a coincidence that the Red Sox won the World Series only two days earlier and that a lot of MS-13 members are probably Dodger fans.

3. Statue-tory Gape

Please, India, do not give Donald Trump any ideas.

Earlier today India unveiled the world’s tallest statue, a 597-foot tall homage to  Sardar Vallabbhai Patel (so, yes, to someone you’ve never heard of). The monument is nearly twice as tall as the Statue of Liberty, so that if you were to put them side by side it would be another Kristen Chenoweth-Boban Marjanovic deal. Who was Patel? Turns out he was an independence leader and the first ruler of India following the termination of British colonial rule in 1947.

No offense, but doesn’t he kinda look like one of those creatures from “300” who needs to have a virgin in order to survive?

I mean, if anyone, we thought they’d do this for Gandhi. And if you’re going to honor any Patel in this fashion, certainly you begin with Dev. And what’s India going to do once it’s inevitably uncovered that he owned slaves or sided with the Confederacy? On the other hand, we see a perfect backdrop for a Godzilla remake here, don’t you?

4. Looney Vs. Clooney

The president took a swipe at Danny Ocean. You don’t take a swipe at Danny Ocean without getting burned.


You may not love his films or his politics, you may have preferred Dr. Carter on E.R., you may still not forgive him for appearing on Facts Of Life, but Clooney is a genuinely good dude. And he’s done a ton more work in Africa trying to improve people’s lives other than simply sending his wife over there and then when she returns saying nothing more than, “Tremendous poverty. Tremendous.”

You picked on the wrong “elite,” Mr. Ultimate Elitist.

5. At Least Paul Westhead Is Happy

The Bucks are one of four teams averaging more than 120 points per game.

We did a little informal fact-checking last night and even though the NBA season is but a fortnight old, already 29 of the 32 clubs have surpassed 120 points in one game. The Warriors (149) are one of four clubs to surpass 140 points in a game and also posted 92 in the first half on Monday versus the Bulls.

Scoring is up. Way up. The Spurs beat the Lakers last week, 143-142, and you probably didn’t even hear about it. Okay, there was an overtime period, but still. The Dubs put up 144 and 149 in just the past week…both times on the road.

The three teams who have yet to eclipse 120? One good club, the Celtics, and two poor ones: Orlando and Brooklyn.

We have barely watched a minute of NBA hoops this month, so we don’t have an explanation for the spike in offense, but maybe it’s all due to Pat Mahomes and the Air Raid offense?

Reserves

How about this song…

…coupled with this footage?

*********

The mistruth, the Wohl mistruth, and nothing but the mistruth. As someone tweeted this morning, “There’s no prize for out-Carter Page’ing Martin Shkreli.”

Music 101

You Never Even Called Me By My Name

There isn’t a fraternity boy (or sorority girl) worth his (or her) solo cup in the SEC or Big 12 who isn’t familiar with David Allen Coe‘s 1975 outlaw country classic, which was indeed penned by his good friend Steve Goodman. The song is not directed at a female, but actually at the insular Nashville music scene that never (until this point) let Goodman or Coe feel as if they were worthy. Goodman had actually written a previous classic “The City Of New Orleans” (Good morning, America/How are ya?) that Arlo Guthrie recorded and made a Top 20 Billboard hit in 1972, so he had a right to be salty.*

*If you’ve never listened to this, we recommend. It has a funny surprise in the middle.

Remote Patrol

The Pit And The Pendulum

9:45 p.m. TCM

It’s Vincent Price night on Halloween night, with three other V.P. films besides this: House of Wax at 8 p.m., The Masque of the Red Death at 11:15, and if you’re still up and want to be sure not to be able to sleep the whole night, tune in to House On Haunted Hill (the original in black and white, much scarier) at 1 a.m.

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 6 Comments

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five

Feat Of Klay

It was a veritable three-for-all at the United Center, as Klay Thompson set an NBA record for three-pointers in a single game with 14. Thompson finished the evening with an NBA-best this season 52 points and you almost forget that the Dubs led 92-50 at halftime (they won, 149-124).


As second (no, third) bananas go, Thompson’s not so bad. Besides breaking backcourt mate Stephen Curry’s single-game three-pointers record by one (notice how upset Steph seems right here), he also holds the NBA record for most points in a single quarter with 37 (set in 2015).

2. Saturday Shame


On the day eleven Jews were in a synagogue in Pittsburgh, President Donald Trump attended (performed?) at two political rallies.

–At the first he joked about perhaps canceling because he was having a bad hair day. Verbatim: “I said, ‘Maybe I should cancel this arrangement because I have a bad hair day.”


Then he attended a rally in Illinois, where in the first 10 minutes he told two giant lies (or he just got his facts wrong, which, hey, what does he or his MAGA audience care?). First, at 5:40, he says, “We must bring back the death penalty” to cheers. Except that we’ve had the federal death penalty back since 1988. Maybe he wants to take credit for that, too.

Then, at 9:45, he rationalizes that he’s decided not to cancel his appearance at this rally the same day as the massacre because “on September 11th, the New York Stock Exchange was open the following day.”

It was not. It did not reopen until September 17, six days and three full trading days later.

But here’s what’s beautiful about Trump, and how you know he’s not stupid but is instead a fabulous con man. Two days after this ridiculous error, forgetting for a moment how thoughtless it was for him to be out barnstorming on this day (because his ego is insatiable) and not even mentioning him trolling Los Angeles Dodger manager Dave Roberts later that night via Twitter, forgetting all that, let’s go to his interview with Laura Ingraham on Monday night. Because here is where you get the full measure of his character, of his duplicity (and of Ingraham’s complicity).

Again, he brings up the New York Stock Exchange opening so quickly after 9/11 to justify his appearing at the rallies, but notice how this time he does not claim the NYSE opened the next day. Instead he says, “As soon as posible” because by now he realizes people have caught on to Saturday’s lie. And notice how Ingraham doesn’t push back on this. She knows it was six days later, too, but she doesn’t push back.

Now, is this more important than 11 Jews losing their lives to a gunman? No. But it’s just one more example of the lack of character of the president, and his appetite for deceit.

3. Fun While It Lasted

Wouldn’t you know it, the couple who fell off a promontory in Yosemite Park, Vishnu Viswanath and Meenaksi Moorthy (purple hair), had an Instagram account and a blog, Holidays and Happily Ever Afters, that featured the two of them taking photos at the edges of cliffs and skyscrapers.

As Moorthy wrote in the blog, ““A lot of us including yours truly is a fan of daredevilry attempts of standing at the edge of cliffs and skyscrapers, but did you know that wind gusts can be FATAL??? Is our life just worth one photo?”

You tell us. You. Tell. Us.

4. Waterlogging Miles

Where else but in Venice would it be apropos to run a marathon partially below sea level? The Venice Marathon had some flooding issues this past weekend and we doubt any veteran harriers achieved personal bests.

But at least they’ll have a good story to tell. The flooding didn’t affect the runners until the last few miles, in Venice proper, but then the last few miles is when it already feels as if you’re running in a foot of water. The top finisher, who had been on a 2:09 pace for most of the race, finished in 2:13.

5. Cope and Haven

No. 2 on the list, Shenzhen

Lonely Planet just released its top 10 list of cities to visit in 2019. We’ve only been to three, including the city that tops the list. Maybe we’ll make them all next year (unemployment has its perks).

1 Copenhagen, Denmark
2. Shēnzhèn, China
3. Novi Sad, Serbia
4. Miami, Florida
5. Kathmandu, Nepal
6. Mexico City, Mexico
7. Dakar, Senegal
8. Seattle, Washington
9. Zadar, Croatia
10. Meknes, Morocco

 

 

Music 101

Only You

This song by Yazoo (known here as Yaz due to copyright reasons) only reached No. 67 here in 1982 but climbed all the way to No. 2 in the UK. It was written by Vince Clarke of Depeche Mode, who teamed with vocalist Alison Moyet to form this side project duo. It’s a genuine New Wave slow song classic, and it’s sort of impossible to believe that it never made its way into a John Hughes film. It’s the ultimate John Hughes film torch song.

Remote Patrol

College Football Playoff Selection Show

7 p.m. ESPN

The Crimson Tide are to college football, we fear, what the Red Sox were to baseball. This is just an inexorable, unsuspenseful journey we all happen to be on.

Alabama, Clemson, Notre Dame, LSU.

Next four? Georgia, Michigan, Oklahoma, ? (personally, I’d like to see Wazzu or UCF there, but watch them go for Ohio State).

Our friend Brett McMurphy has a piece on watchstadium.com where he predicts the Playoff as Alabama-Notre Dame, Clemson-Michigan. That would mean Michigan jumps Notre Dame, but we don’t quite see Michigan jumping the Irish unless the Irish lose, and we’re not so sure the Irish get in with one loss. So we’re not quite certain what Brett was thinking on this one.